Just A Pet
by SaneTwin1-2
Summary: Bella is left in the forest, broken hearted, when a creature turns her into a monster...and its not a vampire. Bellice goodness eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story from my Live journal account, HalfGone01, just thought I would put this out their so no one thinks im copying stories. Alight then, I hope this is good, Read and Review please. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did, I would be soo rich. ^_^**

Just a Pet

Their gold eyes burned into my skull, watching me with care and affection, I used to delude myself by thinking it was love. I know better now, it wasn't love, it was never love, they looked down at me as if I was their pet, a dog that they grew close to. I should have known better, what was I thinking? A low human couldn't possibly have found its way into their cold vampire hearts.

So here, I lay in the middle of the forest, broken hearted and a lost soul, where I have been tossed to the side as the vampire took my heart and crushed it, looking down at me with a constant, sad smile. It was the kind of smile that whispered an apology, pity, but nothing more. He left me in the middle of the forest, lost and no direction how to get back, and he smiled down at me as if he cared and that he was truly sorry that his family suddenly had grown tired of their pet. The human pet just will lie here and wait for them to come back, to admit they made a mistake and hold me in their arms again.

I tried to hold back the helpless sobs that shook my fragile body, but no one was here to listen anyway, so I cried. I cried until all of my tears dried up and I was left with nothing but the empty feeling that reassured me that I was, in fact, alone. Their eyes still looked at me with the soft caring love that was all artificial, Esme's motherly affection was fake, Emmett's brotherly act was dried up, Rosalie protective sister role was used up, Edwards caring boyfriend job was done, Jaspers gentlemen ways evaporated, Carlisle's fatherly feel was artificial, and Alice will no longer have to pretend to be the best friend she once was.

I loved them all, every single one of them. The Cullen's were the family I never had, and they left without a word, following Edward's instructions on how they would leave the weak human. They didn't even say goodbye to their human, even Alice, which hurt the most. Edward was somewhat expected, he was always controlling and manipulative, I shouldn't have fallen for his fake charm and wit. Alice on the other hand seemed sincere the entire time, learning how to cook so she could feed me at the correct times, going shopping with me, just staying at my house when I had anxiety attacks, when I had nightmares she would curl up with me on my bed and just rock me back and forth. She would hum a small tune, sweet but often sad, her voice always full of unknown sorrow. Her large golden, eyes would never leave mine, swirling with great care and love.

Maybe she knew this would happen, maybe she had secrets of her own that she hid, maybe the human is making up reasons so its breaking heart could pretend they _didn't _just leave her in the middle of the forest.

I miss Alice.

_She doesn't miss you._

And of course Esme...she was just as unexpected as Alice.

She was sweet and loving, her eyes always glowing with motherly love, how could she had made up such a strong emotion?

_She's a vampire, a cold hearted vampire, that's how. __  
_  
Emmett also, he always had the big brotherly love that swirled in his eyes, always picking me up just to snuggle into me. Calling me nicknames, short kisses on the forehead, teddy bear hugs whenever I was sad. He once came to my house when Edward and I had gotten in a fight. I had asked why he didn't want me as a vampire, he had huffed and came up with a harsh answer, it would be damning my soul. I didn't think any of them were damned...especially not sweet Alice. Emmett came by and held me, rubbing my back softly while I cried into his shoulder. I remember him being so angry with Edward, swearing and pacing the room with angry eyes, eventually he calmed down and held me until I fell asleep.

When I was asleep, I thought for sure he whispered something else in my ear...something about Alice being better than Edward is.

_Ridiculous, you were just a pet. Nothing more, he wouldn't care if you had died a horrid, gruesome death._

A half sob immerged from my chest, shaking my entire body, causing my heart to continue its painful breaking, sending its torment throughout my body.

Carslie, sweet loving Carslie. I love Charlie but if I was to be honest, Charlie was never a good father. He left half the time for fishing trips in which I would have to make him dinner and clean the house, how could I fit being a teenager when I acted like his mother?

Although Rosalie in the beginning was cold and harsh towards me, when I got closer to the family she eventually relaxed around me. Then when she relaxed, she became an amazing protective sister that would show such great compassion and love that it was hard to see her as cold in the first place.

I remember the first time she smiled at me. I was sitting in the family room of the Cullen mansion, Rosalie was sitting on a chair looking through a magazine. Everyone burst in the room following an angry Edward and a scared Alice. Edward yelled something unintelligent in Alice's face making her cringe, everyone was getting angry with Edward but they didn't intervene. I didn't even need to know what was going on, rage and the need to protect little Alice was so strong that I had jumped from my position on the couch and made my way past the rest of the Cullen's to place myself between Edward and Alice.

Edward was ranting on about something, yelling angry words at Alice, pointing at me sometimes then pointing at himself, his lips moving so fast that I couldn't understand what he was saying. I was so enraged at Edward for taking out his unknown rage on little sweet Alice. Therefore, when he advanced on Alice, making my sweet pixie to flinch, I wrapped my arms around her facing the beast, shielding her from the true vampire. His eyes had shown true anger at that moment, turning pitch darkness as Alice trembled in my arms, taking unneeded shaky breaths. I yelled at him with all of the strength I had, silencing each vampire in the room, creating each golden pair of eyes to widen in surprise. Edward stormed out, but I hardly cared, I just carried Alice to the couch so she could collapse onto my lap and tremble, I couldn't help but notice the soft smile that had spread onto Rosales lips, her eyes shining with pride.

I let out another broken sigh; I missed all of them, Esme, Carlise, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and especially Alice.

I curled up into a ball on the ground, letting the tears die down into tired, exhausted hiccups. The ground was cold and hard, the soil sticking to my tear struck face, my lips felt dirt and blood that had fallen onto my lips. Edward left me bleeding on the forest floor with no phone and no sense of direction back. I could die here and now, and yet at that moment, I couldn't even care, and my heart was in to much pain to acknowledge the other pains that started to form on the other parts of my body.

I wonder if they would care, if they would even bother going to their pet's funeral. Unless no one found me to give me a funeral.

I turned my body so that I could see the gloomy sky peeking through its cover of trees, hiding from the pathetic sight of a broken human on the floor. The forest was silent, not even a bird decided to interrupt the deafening silence that echoed through this heart wrenching moment. My chestnut hair stuck to my face, strands of my hair getting clumps of dirt stuck in its messy nest of hair. I tried to breathe through my broken rasps of breath, but only small whimpers immerged from my mouth. I hate him, I hate Edward. He never cared about me, he only saw me as a social experiment. How long could the vampire stay with a fragile human without killing her? A year, a wonderful year for the human so that it could get a mother it never had a father with such kindness and care that it could soothe a wild beast, two big brothers, a sister, a best friend and the boy who took my family away.

_That's not true...they left willingly. They didn't care about you.___

The forest started to blur as tears made their way into my vision, creating what must be an illusion.

Two electric blue eyes look at me past the trees, black pupils came out as slits as the predator advanced on the helpless human on the floor. I didn't even have the energy to scream as the large jungle cat sauntered closer to me. It barred its teeth at me, large fangs coming from the large animal.

The animal looked like a tiger, only _much _larger. The muscles slender and smooth, the body slim and kept a sense of perfect grace as it prowled closer to me. It had to be the size of a large horse, large, slick muscles contorted in the animal's orange colored skin, making the animal lurch towards me. Its large blue eyes dancing with amusement, it's slit like eyes becoming larger and larger as it came closer.

I just closed my eyes, waiting for the death that will come; my brain pulled me under to keep me preoccupied as the impossibly large jungle cat that somehow found its way in Forks came closer to me.

_"Belllllaaa!"I rolled my eyes, but couldn't stop the smile that spread over my lips at the sound of the perfect tinkling voice. I turned to see the pixie girl dance her way to me, a large smile taking half of her delicate, pixie face. Her black raven hair pointed in every direction as her large melting golden eyes kept locked onto my weak chocolate gaze. I walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her, pulling the stone hard girl to my side. Although she was cold like the rest of the vampires, she provided such a strong sense of warmth that could make the sun jealous. I smiled sweetly down at the girl to see her smile falter slightly, her eyes turning sorrowful, a misty look came over her as she drifted from me and two strong cold hands wrapped around me. ___

_"Edward." I turned to wrap my arms around him but he was glaring at Alice, a hard snarl on his once perfect face. I looked over my shoulder to see Alice walking away, her shoulders slumping slightly as a sob seemed to shake her petite form. I was about to run after her, to hold onto her and keep her shaking body close to me so she could be the bubbly happy thing she was. My heart was in agony seeing the small girl walk away with dry sobs take her form. ___

_Before I had, the chance to take her in my arms Esme picked the girl up and wrapped her arms around the shaking girl, rubbing her back and whispering things so fast I couldn't catch anything. Edwards arms became constricting as I tried to make my way to the crying pixie, he held me close to him, taking me away from her. We disappeared from the house but not before I could hear Alice's agonized sob fill the house. ___

Jaws snapped in front of me, the large animal crashed me down and hovered over me, its eyes bright with energy. It snapped its jaws again, but I didn't even notice that I was already drifting off into another memory, so I hardly felt the tigers teeth clamp down on my neck, crushing my bones and breaking the skin. There was a faint burning feeling that attacked my heart, and spread down to every inch in my body. The tiger's weight disappeared, and the burning increased, I just closed my eyes.

Bella the Pet will die and the heartless vampires will move on, without another thought of their useless human pet. Maybe find another Bella to replace the old, break their heart to make them feel loved and special just to abandon them to die...alone.

I felt like their was a rope constricting around my body, tightening and choking every life out of me as the fire increased in heat. My jaw loosened to let out an agonized scream so loud it seemed to shatter the entire forest; trees seemed to crash and break as my vision turned bloody.

So...much...pain...

My body jerked and shook with the pain, and slowly I crawled, pulling one inch at a time to the closest rock. I leaned against the cool, hard, marble, rock that, of course, pushed my mind into a burning memory of the cold vampires that stole my heart.

_Tears seemed to fall without an end, rolling down my cheeks as the saddest scene played out. Romeo looks upon Juliet and finds one true love, in a tomb, life sucked out of her as her open eyes display its horror. Little did Romeo know that Juliet's death was false, that if he only waited a few more minutes, he would have been reunited with his love. Yet fate seemed to frown upon the two lovers and decided to watch Romeo pull his own poisonous liquid out to see his love in death. ___

_I sobbed as I watched him down the liquid, his heart flaying about, panicking as the poison crept into every cell in his body. ___

_"Bella...you do know that this is just a play, their just actors, their not really dead." I couldn't talk to the light amused voice of the little pixie; I just continued to cry into the small pillow I clung onto. Cool hard hands wrapped around my body, pulling my shaking form to the small girl. She allowed me to cry in her shoulder as Juliet woke up to a dead Romeo. I cried harder as she stabbed herself, unable to live without her love. Alice just rubbed my back, a faint smile on her lips as she watched me, she brushed her cool hands against my cheek, wiping the messy tears from my face. ___

_I stared into the warm, melting, gold, eyes of Alice and tried to smile past my tears. She is just too beautiful. Without really thinking, I pulled the small vampire on my lap. She stayed stock still, surprised, as I wrapped my arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck. Eventually she relaxed, falling into my embrace as she wrapped her own arms around me. I rubbed her stomached, faintly brushing her cool hard skin, she started to vibrate, shaking as a loud cat like purr erupted from her chest. ___

_"...Alice...are you purring?" I was answered by a louder purr when she lied her head back, resting it on my shoulder. I continued to rub her stomach, teasing her slightly, calling her my kitty cat. She only responded by nuzzling her head into my neck, purring into my ear. My heart was jumping wildly, trying its best to escape my own body, berating my rib cage.___

_I looked down to see Alice, closing her eyes as she rested her head on my shoulder, her body curled around me, faint purring still coming from the small pixie, she wore a faint smile that continued throughout the night, I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful girl. ___

My heart heaved in pain, and clenching with the unrequited love I had for the Cullen family. Why was my body torturing me again?

Aw right I was bitten by a large animal, and now im convulsing on the floor. I screamed into the now night sky, wanting desperately for there to be an answer. Yet nothing came, no one glanced towards the tortured human on the dark forest floor.

Finally, the pain started to evaporate from my body, receding back to my heart, making it larger, beating an unfamiliar tune. Slow but strong; when the pain finally stopped from my body, I fell to my knees as the bite healed on my shoulder. The blood falling without a scratch, I let my fingernails dig into the dirt as a new sensation flew through me.

It wasn't painful, it was thrilling, and my bones grew and cracked as skin and muscle started to stretch. My body was transforming into something entirely different, orange, brown fur started to cover oversized body, my skull, and nose stretched out, the bone shaping into something different as my clothes ripped from my body.  
Seconds later, I was something new, foreign, but strong. My paws padded on the forest floor, the once dull forest seemed to be bright with colors and shapes from far away. I heard the birds that my human ears couldn't hear, the sound of water came from far away as deer and squirrels clamper away.

Stretching my new muscles and I bounded off into the dark night, confused to as what I was, furry starting to build into...whatever shape I was. My paws pounded on the soft soil, sending me farther into the night as the trees blurred past me, the sound of tinkling water came closer. A loud feral roaring came from within me, shaking my body, and shattering the once quite night.

The river came up, I looked at my reflection, what I saw made me fall to the ground. I was no longer Bella Swan the human; I was Bella Swan the large tiger beast. My large head covered with orange and black colors, chestnut fur covered my back as orange seemed to dance like flames throughout my body, coloring my black and brown body, white fur coming from my furry jaw line down to my stomach and all the way down to my long slick tail. My muscles were slick, my bone structure built to a feline way, yet still fierce, electric blue eyes stared back at me, black slit as pupils stared back at me with shock.

I tilted my large tiger body to the sky and howled in agony. My body collapsed making my vision blurry as sleep tried to overtake my exhausted body.

That jungle cat wasn't normal. A shape shifter, I heard of those, the Cullen's explained what they were to me.

Another heartbroken sob came from my body, the Cullen's. Alice, my Alice. They left me to die, in this dark forest, and now im not even human, im not a vampire, im a large tiger creature.

_Looks like I turned out to be a monster in the end anyway. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so most of you im sure wont like this chapter very much, I was writing it and I still didn't like it very much, It was really just a informative chapter and the Cullen's will be in the next one. **** Yes, so I absolutely love my reviews, thank you SO much. Im just eating them up. ^_^ so please continue. Read and Review!**

Just A Pet chapter 2

Twelve long years. That is how long I have no longer been human. Once I woke up as this tiger demon I started running, I ran until the forest was long gone, I ran past the cliffs and jumped into the salty, rough, oceans. I swam until land came to my paws, sinking my paws into a sandy beach. The beach was long forgotten, opening up to another forest, which I spent most of my twelve years trying to turn back into my human form.

My body was in constant chaos, twisting with raging emotions that would keep the fur on my body and refuse my desire to walk on two feet. Twelve long years spent in a forest so beautiful, I felt it harder and harder to leave its dark cover of trees. The forest was my home; the creatures within it accepted me as the beast that now prowled their once peaceful forest. The beast became my prefer body over time, even when I did find a way to turn back into my pathetic human body.

My human appearance altered only slightly, my chestnut hair was darker, dark black stripes curved through my once chestnut hair, my once chocolate eyes were now a sparkling blue, and my pupils were no longer round, but instead small slits that showed my inner beast. I walked much differently now, once cursed with my clumsiness, now gifted with the grace and power of the beast. My teeth shine in the moonlight, showing the ever-present fangs that are rather difficult to hide. My skin, although still pale was a little harder, strong and warm, my blood now pumped with such force and strength that my body now provides its own warmth, it keeps me warm even when the sky decides to drop its ice and cool snow. My face wasn't altered as much either, although I do notice the way boys look at me now, their eyes usually widen in shock, their mouths drop to the ground as they scan their eyes over my body, like I wasn't right their looking right back at them. In addition, a dark tattoo is curled in a circle on my shoulder wear the tiger beast bit me; it swirls into a tribunal sun that sparks dark flames down to the edge of my shoulder.

I usually stay as my human form during the day, just so I don't forget how to walk or talk normally, it has happened before, and let me tell you, snarling at a man and snapping your teeth while your human does not have the same effect as when you are a tiger. Yet in night, its magical, the way my body moves, how it feels to run on fresh soil, to feel your claws dig deep in the dirt, to smell such clean, refreshing air, the moon on your back as you roam the earth with no one around.

Not that it doesn't get lonely, it does, and my heart is still in a constant pain from the beloved family that turned their backs on me. It twitches whenever I see a bear, it lurches to life when I see a mother hugging their child, it clenches in pain when I see a short women with pointy looking hair. None of the images ever compare with the memories that haunt my mind, keeping me in a distant haze.

I have been alone for twelve years, twelve painful years. Its not that I haven't tried, I've gone on dates before with the boys that stare at me when they think im not looking, but nothing works farther than a movie or dinner. My body immediately rejects the person, knowing that their not the one, that their other half is still out their. Also forever staying 18 never helps with being with a human; I would need to find someone who is doomed to stay forever with me.

I let a heartbroken sigh fall from my red lips, I always come back to this, doomed to stay with me forever, forever 18. So of course, the Cullen's come to mind, poisoning my tormented mind that I could find them, that maybe now that I am no longer a breakable, weak human, they could love me. My heart twisted in pain as I thought of these ideas, time surprisingly doesn't stop the pain that washes and crashes my well-being.

The Cullen's will never love me, I will forget them. I tell myself this every minute of the day, yet my mind is tortured, forever frozen in the mind it had twelve years ago. It's hard to see the future brightly when your past was the best days of your life.

_Damn it forgets the Cullen's! They didn't go to your funeral when they discovered that you were missing, they didn't even bother to search for you when people came out in groups to trace the forest. They knew were you could have been found, yet they didn't get you. Your beloved "Alice" can see the freaking future; she probably smiled when she saw that beast rips into you.___

I let out a strangled sob, my body twisting in the bed that I was lying in. I ran a shaky hand through my black and brown hair, taking sharp breaths that stung my chest. Finding a distraction, I ran my eyes over everything in my apartment. Didn't take even two seconds, there was my white bed with white sheets, and a desk with a lamp on it, a cupboard with all of my clothes in it. Four blank white walls, lacking personality of their own, stared at me. Really quite pathetic looking.

Ignoring my crazed mind, I jumped from the bed and dressed in my clothing, black skinny jeans, and a red shirt with dark black swirls coming from the front to the back. My black and brown hair waved around me as I stepped barefoot out of my apartment. I ran from the building to step towards my most usual place, the forest, sweet smelling forest.

My feet grazed the dirt, padding lightly through the soft soil, the grass bending from the pressure of my two human feet. The dark cloudy sky dark with upcoming rain, I ran lightly through the beautiful forest, breathing in the pine trees luscious smell.

Hours passed by and I still walked through the forest, anti social would be an understatement.

A loud echoing growl shot through the air, shattering the serene quite in the forest. I immediately crouched down, still a human. I waited impatiently for the upcoming battle that would come, I may be heartbroken, but I can fight.

Large wolves emerged from the forest surrounding me, creating a large circle around me, all of them growled and snarled. I just smirked, Wolves, please; they are the weakest shape shifter form. I could take them down within seconds. Right before I was about to pounce, a rust colored wolf cocked his head to the side, his eyes swirling with confusion and pain. He phased from his wolf form, revealing a dark skinned man, tall with dark hair that was cropped short, brown eyes that widened from surprise, his muscular arms reaching out in a friendly matter. He immediately became friendly, his tall frame becoming less intimidating as he stepped forward. I responded with a sharp snarl, which caught him in his tracks. He know looked hurt, confused, and in pain. The wolves around him had no idea how to react to their leader turning human and acting friendly, they looked sharply at me, confusion and distrust obvious in their wolf like faces.

Stupid Dogs.

The man who had phased back to a man stepped forward again, a large, confident smile on his lips. He waved off the wolves that jumped forward to protect him. His eyes focused on only me, kind and still extremely confused. I just snarled and hissed at him, about to transform into my beast form, wanting desperately to sink my teeth into their furry necks.

"Bella, is that you?" I froze, my body's muscles twisted in pain as I turned my head to appraise the boy. His husky voice sounded oddly familiar as well as his face, maybe I ran into him in one of my twelve years. "Bells, it's me, Jacob." I cocked my head at him, my brownish black hair flying wildly in the wind. Jacob...Jacob...hmm. His careful mask broke for a minute to show some sort of anger, just a flash, but enough for me to transform into my beast form. If he was going to trick me, it won't work. He jumped back as I hissed at him, his eyes going wild with surprise, his wolves jumped around him, so ready to attack.

They came all at once, all jumping at once, their moves slow and clumsy, lacking the hard fighting skills that I have taught myself over the years. Each pair of teeth snapped at me, easily being dodged and by the end all the dogs had slashes and bites on their body's, they cowered and whimpered in pain, yelping at their Alpha to help. "Jacob" stayed calm the entire time, staying a safe distance from my snarling angry form. Once all of his wolves cowered behind him, he slowly let a smile spread over his face, attacking my heart with its familiarity of it.

_A man with long dark hair and deep brown hair came towards me, jumping from his position leaning on the dark red Chevy car that was now mine. He smiled sweetly, his dark tanned skin stretching into a large wolfish smile, his brown chocolate eyes shining with joy. ___

_"Hey Bells, Its me Jacob, we used to play together as kids." ___

My tiger form froze in the horror of attacking this man, Jacob, the boy I had walked down the beach with, playful flirting and sweet smiles that we shared. Jacob Black! I immediately relaxed my position, allowing Jacob to sigh in relief; he brought a hand up to brush the back of his neck, nervously shifting his gaze to me. I went down on my hind legs, bowing down at the Alpha, some sort of respect. He barked out a laugh and went over to brush my orange and brown fur.

"Come on Bella, we have so much to catch up on...like how the hell are you alive." He smiled when I nodded my large head in agreement, I missed Jacob. He phased into his large wolf form and we raced back to his home, the Reservation. Trees blurred past me as I beat every single wolf, flying past each mongrel, jumping into the cold ocean waters and returning to were it all began. The Reservation, so close to Forks, though the chance of the Cullen's actually being at Forks is impossible, it still made my stomach twist and flip uncomfortably.

The cliffs came up in view to the Reservation camp, I landing easily onto the rocky ledges, clambering up the cliffs, my body twisting and jumping easily from ledge to ledge, claws cutting deep into the rocks, pulling me farther up the rocky sides of the cut off the land.

The wolves, finally catching up to me, lead me to Jacobs home, apparently our meet up place. To my horror, every wolf was a male, meaning when I change...I will be naked...as a women...hmm...how to avoid this? I sat down and glared at every single man in the room, while they all stared at me questionably, some of them knowing what was going to happen, sat silently, patiently waiting for their entertainment to arrive. Jerks. I growled and hissed, my fur bristling as my back started to rise into an aggressive position. Jacob's tan skin turned a deep maroon as he got boxers and a white t-shirt for me.  
"Sorry Bells." He smiled sheepishly and I quickly dressed into my clothing, going so fast I only appeared as a blur. The perverts sighed in disappointment as I jumped on the couch, resting easily on the top, fully dressed. Ha!

Jacob sat down on the chair as all of his followers sat on the floor or on a lower furniture arrangement, only I appeared to be challenging him while everyone else cowered at his dominance. I crossed my legs waiting patiently to start. The boy grew nervous and started to itch the back of his neck again, a small smile on his large lips. "So Bells, not to be rude or anything, but what the hell are you?" I smiled, crossing my arms easily over my chest; does the boy not even know what he is?  
"Im a shape shifter, the form of some tiger beast. Im guessing you want to know how I got this way since I obviously wasn't born this way." Jacob nodded, his eyes resisting from tracing my relaxed form, he was at least respective, the other boys had no shame as they panted, their eyes going back and forth over my feline form, and I swear it is like they have never seen a girl in their lifetime. I ran one of my clawed fingers through my dark hair, pulling at the small strands of chestnut brown. "Well, as you know I was in a relationship with Edward." Every eye darkened with hate as their teeth slashed and a dark rumble of growls echoed through each chest of the boys. A boy grumbled a dark nick name for the vampires, I felt a stab through the chest as I thought of my former family, so caring, so loving, bright smiles, happy hugs, so...artificial. Sadly, at the time I was blind to their true intentions. I tried to answer before I turn into a beast again from the anger that started to arise, burning through me like a wild fire. "Um, so he decided to end our relationship in the middle of the forest, taking my family of vampires away with him, while I stayed in the middle of the forest entirely lost." Jacob growled, and I had to keep my unstoppable anger in control, the never-ending pain flashing back to life. "So as I cried on the floor, they left to live their vampire lives, leaving me at the mercy of a shape shifter who bit me, turning me into a tiger." I felt blood in my mouth as I bit my tongue, desperately trying to calm my anger and soothe my broken heart. Memories of that day flashing back to the front of my brain.

Jacob was silent for a few minutes; quietly thinking of god knows what, his fists shaking. Finally, he met my eye line, his eyes dark with anger, his lips curling with hate. It only added to my anger, keeping human is starting to become unbearable. He suddenly made eye contact with all of the wolf boys on the floor; they stared back and nodded all returning anger. Jacob relaxed a little, his eyes darkening while a smile started to spread on his lips, this smile was the last thing from comforting. When he spoke, his voice sounded a lot calmer than he looked. "Bella, I would like you to join our pack." That stopped me dead, join his pack? Why? Why now? In addition, how did he even know were I was? I lived in that forest for twelve years, why did Jacob appear then and there?

"I have a question." Jacob smiled and nodded, his smile turned something deep within me, making a shiver run down my spine. Whatever Jacob is planning, I doubt I will like it. "How did you know were I was?" Jacob looked away from me, biting his lip slightly before looking at me, his eyes shifting from me to all of his wolves.

"Well, we heard...rumors, about a tiger beast." His eyes snapped to mine, determination clear in his eyes. "I swear Bella; I didn't know the beast was you, if I had known we wouldn't have approached you in that manner." I laughed, so uncontrollably and rather unexpected that it made Jacob jump out of his seat.

"Im sorry Jacob, but I doubt you could have beaten me." I smiled at him, watching him narrow his eyes, his dignity and pride getting in the way.

"Right, sure, Bella what about joining our pack?" He seemed to be getting more impatient by the second. My smile slipped off of my face, join his pack? Well I would not be alone...but then I would have to be with them.

Their faces flashed in my head, sweet Esme, caring Carlisle, compassionate Rosalie, loving Emmett, jackass Edward, daring Jasper, and little Alice. I winced, the usual pain still raging with in me, my heart jumping at the last name. Why does my mind always return to _that_ family, the family that left me to die, the family of bloodsuckers.  
Damn it, Im still attached to them, even after they left me in the cold forest to die, abandoning me for twelve years. My mind was whirling with thoughts and confusing memories that plague my mind, reminding me my human days.

The beast within me didn't want to be owned, but I didn't want to be alone, maybe I could meet my...someone here. My eyes scanned the dirty, naked boys, my body nearly gagging in disgust. God, get some freaking pants! I looked down at my boxers and white shirt, Alice would be ashamed...Dame it! I sure don't want to be remembering my past with the Cullen's, maybe being owned would lessen the pain?

I let out the breath I was holding, standing up to face the naked dirty men, holding my hand out towards Jacob, apparently the Alpha. His eyes sparkled, a large grin in place, he jumped up and hugged me, and his large stone like muscles pushed me to his hard chest. Holding back another gag of disgust, I stepped back, shaking his hand.

"Aright Jacob, I'll be in your pack."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Yay! New chapter! I hope you enjoy it, I actually enjoyed writing it, all for you people, and it makes me so happy to read reviews, so continue please. *_***_

_I sat still on a stone hard body, his arms circled around me, constricting around my chest. His hard lips brush at my ear, whispering loving words into my ear, his hand gently strokes my hair. We sat on the family room couch, their entire family sitting in the room, each cold body twisted in some way to touch the small human on the couch. Esme's hand gently strokes my hair, petting it lovingly, Edwards body circled around me, Emmett's head resting on my legs as he held Rosalie who has one hand gently stroking my leg. Alice sits practically on my lap her body curled around me, not actually touching but shaped around mine as everyone tries to fit on one couch. Carslie has a gentle and loving stare that is attached to me, sending waves of fatherly love from across the room, Jasper has his head resting on Alice's lap, his hair tickling my legs. ___

_Jaspers arrangement was surprisingly bothersome, his hair wasn't bothering me...just something with how he was positioned. At that moment, Jasper turned his head to give me a knowing smile, making Edwards chest rumble with a growl. Everyone's eyes glance from the TV screen that we were attempting to watch to Edward, who bristles and growls. ___

_Unable to concentrate on the movie, I shifted from my position from Edward to lie close to Alice, who seemed to sit up straighter. I snuggled closer to the little body, smelling the sweet smells of her natural fragrance, so intoxicating and only simply Alice. The movie continued, the plot somewhat unclear, but the man in the movie murmurs to himself: Why didn't I marry my best friend? Would have been so much easier. ___

_Alice shifted slightly in her seat, somewhat restless, like she was deciding whether to do something. After some inner debate, she turned to me, a large smile on her face, her eyes shining with joy.___

_"See that Bella, always marry your best friend." Everyone got quite and turned to hear my answered, I decided to play along, taking my two rings from my fingers and placing them on Alice's and my ring finger, the identical rings shining on each finger. I entwined my fingers with hers, smiling sweetly at her surprised face. ___

_'"Then it's settled." I swiftly kissed Alice's cheek and returned to the movie, watching everyone's face turn from surprised to a since of bliss. Edward had growled and escaped the room, growling something about "disgusting", and "would never happen," giving the distracted Alice a harsh glare. Alice was smiling softly at the "engagement" ring, her gold eyes shining with love. ___

My eyelids fluttered to open my vision on a canopy of trees, large branches spreading their leaves across the sky to cover the sun that leaked down to my warm body. I tried to shake off the pain that had started to grow in my chest, roaring in pain, desperately trying to be heard other than my deaf ears. Though the pain never leaves, it can be subdued; losing the people you love isn't exactly easy to get over. I remember that day so vividly, the way Alice smelled or how she felt when she leaned up onto me, or when Emmett rested his head on, my legs or the feel of Rosalie fingernails tracing patterns onto my leg. Esme's hands stroking my hair, or Carslies loving looks. It's hard to think that it was all a play, all of them actors and my life was their biggest play, its unbearable, the pain that will forever live with me.

I remember I kept that "engagement" ring on for days; refusing to take it off, until of course Edward and I got in a fight about it, then the ring was laid aside. I went to school to see Alice, wearing the ring loyally to her ring finger for the weeks that has passed, her eyes burning with sorrow as she laid her vision on my bare finger. She bit her lip and started twisting with her "engagement" ring, a dark and heavy look hovering over her as her eyes shifted to my empty hands. I put the ring on and wore it until the very end, despite Edwards's pleas and arguing, I never wanted to see that look on Alice's face again.

_To bad, she wants to see the look on your face everyday. ___

It didn't seem that way...

_It never does.__  
_  
I was in the middle of the forest, taking great pleasure in resting on a large rock, curled up in a tight ball, my fur shining in the warm glow of the sun. I stretched, my hind lifting in the air as my arms stretched, my claws digging into the stone making deep cuts into the marble stone. After yawning and curling my tongue like the cat I am I trotted to Jacobs place, were I have been staying the last few weeks. I stayed, trusting him when he said the Cullen's have left. As long as they have left then I can stay.

I felt closer to the wolves than I ever felt possible, meaning I was able to with stand ripping their tongues out for constantly panting as I walked by. Seriously, go chance your tail somewhere, stupid dogs. I was only able to stay with Jacob who kept his eyes to my face, although his Alpha attitude made me itch, my beast didn't want to be controlled, especially to someone who could easily be beat. My claws usually involuntarily come out when he gives an order to the pack, ready to take the wolf down. I let out a breath, watching as my breath brushed past a leaf, lifting the dead leaf into the air. My paws made large imprints into the soil as I trotted past each tall tree, sunlight making pools of light in the dark forest. I stared down at my paw, seeing the missing ring lost form my paws; it still hurt knowing that Alice probably ripped the ring off the day he left me in this forest.

Feeling the familiar pain rise in my heart I jumped through Jacobs window, getting a pair of cozy boxers and a light blue t shirt that clung tightly around me, it apparently was a shirt from his sister twenty years ago. Jacob entered my room a lazy smile on his lips as he handed me an I pod, knowing my routine to run though the forest. I swiftly hugged him, running past him feeling his dark blush waft towards me, his usual smell of pines and a heavy man spray wafting to my nose. I dodged a nameless boy and ran out of the house, placing the headphones into my ears, filling my head with My Chemical Romances; I don't love you. I of course decided to scream along with the lyrics, my voice shattering the silence in the quite forest.

"Well when you go, so never think I'll make you try to stay, and maybe when you get back, I'll be off to find another way." My voice carried through the forest, startling several birds as I pounded my way through the forest. "And after all this time you still owe, you're still a good for nothing I don't know. So take your gloves and get out. Better, get out! While you can, and when you go, would you even turn to say, I don't love you like I did, yesterday." Tears started to blur my vision, my bare feet still refusing to slow from its speed, taking me through the coverings of trees, my body grabbing a mind of its own. My heart and brain working together to shove memories into my face.

_Large TV screens scream out the local news, showing a news reporter in the forest while large groups of people search the forest, my large cat like body viewed this screen from one of the tallest branches on a tree in the forest. I still have yet to find a way out of this wild beast, so I watch people search for the body that won't be there. The newscast followed my heartbroken father around until he snapped and cursed on live TV. The group searches always came back empty handed, my once friends crying into each other's shoulders as large dark gloomy clouds keep the searches short. ___

_When I was staring into the screen, I thought for a split second I saw a white blur searching the forest, then several others jumping past trees, my heart jumped in my chest at the hope that they loved me enough to search for my mangled body. I was crushed at the impossibility of that, my heart knowing the truth, they didn't love me, and I was just a pet. ___

I screamed into the forest, yelling the lyrics into the gloomy dark clouds that constantly cover the sky. My legs crash to the ground as the last part of the song ends. "I don't love you like I did, yesterday." I could only imagine the Cullen's faces, whispering these words to my broken form as they smile apologetically and disappear into the night.

Through tears, I looked at my surroundings; the sight astounded me. It was a small meadow, covered with flowers and laced with trees that cover the dark skies from the beautiful ground, a small creek trickled through the middle of the meadow, large rocks surrounding the creek as the dark inky water rushes weakly through the narrow passage way. I was taken in by the sight in front of me I didn't notice a person jump from a rock down to the ground...mostly because they didn't have a heart beat to warn me.

"Beautiful isn't it." A sound so light, like tinkling bells, reached my ears, tearing my heart to pieces at the familiarity of its beautiful sound. My head turned to witness the god like appearance of the smallest Cullen, her black spiky hair pointed in every direction as her golden eyes watched me. Something looked off though, like her glossy hair didn't look styled, her golden eyes looked unseeingly past me, misty and hazy with complete sorrow. The sight cracked my heart in half, yet soothed the pain that had seared into me like a hot poker, it calmed my aching sorrow, and like a rope had wrapped around my body, and her small appearance pulled me forward. My mind, once swirling with pain and confusion cleared, a silent click seemed to echo through my body, as everything around me seemed too disappeared, leaving the pixie and me by ourselves.

I stepped forward but reeled back as realization slapped me across the face. Alice Cullen, a _Cullen, _Jacob lied, there right here in Forks. My once peaceful state shattered by the anger and betrayal that roared like the beast I am, my eyes resting on the goddess filled with sharp stings as I took in the sight of Alice. Her face, smooth like marble, white like ivory, dark glossy feathered hair that pointed in messy ways, not quite as graceful as how they used to be. Her golden eyes seemed, although bright and the usual melting gold had such strong misery that it left her eyes looking dead.

I couldn't contain the feral growl that echoed through my body, shaking my every limb, my body crouching low at the one who has caused so much unbearable pain. The pain that has lingered in my heart with every step I took and every breath I breathed ached with the great pain of abandonment. Alice's eyes snapped to my electric blue eyes, my black pupils now small slits as I bared my sharp teeth at her. She cocked her head in confusion, washing more pain through my body. She doesn't even recognize me.

_You see, you were just a forgettable pet, lying forgotten on the floor. ___

I hissed at the girl, watching as she slowly became defensive, she bared her teeth her eyes wide with confusion and pain. I lunged toward her, a heartbroken roar echoing through me, she staggered backwards not completely the graceful vampire I knew, her movements slow and pained.

"Come on Alice, don't you recognize your _pet." _I let the growl come out again as Alice stood stock still, her eyes searching mine, I stood straight and covered my sharp teeth, my body becoming more like the old Bella, I closed my electric blue eyes. A gasp made me snap back to my old appearance, my eyes found hers watching as countless emotions appeared on her face. Realization, hope, love, joy, her eyes sparking with the twinkle in them, then the gold in her eyes darkened as she re evaluated the situation. Her face slipped, agonizing pain taking control of her petite little face, self-loathing, hatred and pain flashed across her face as her lips quivered out my name.

"Bella?" Her voice broke and wavered with the pain that was growing every second, her eyes losing the dead look and taking the look of complete heartbreak. I, still unable to take this expression from someone I still love, turned away, hating myself for still loving someone who has caused unforgivable pain. "Bella!" Her voice was becoming desperate as I turned from her; I looked over my shoulder to see her jumping up and start running towards me. She continued to screech my name as I ran off in a sprint, hearing her chance after me, desperation clear in her voice as she tried to catch up to my speeding body.

"BELLA!" I ran, feeling a pulling sensation in my body, taking me were I need to go; I let the pull control me as I sprinted. After merely seconds of running I appeared at the Cullen's house, feeling completely betrayed by my own body I sprinted across their lawn, running to the next section of forest. One final screech from Alice got every vampire in the house to stop.

Damn it.

Every single Cullen jumped out of the house to witness Alice sprinting with all of her might, screeching my name, as I ran blindly to the next section of the forest; each pair of golden eyes followed me with surprise. I didn't look back, my head in a daze as I heard Alice yell at everyone that I was alive. It only took seconds for the Cullen's to start chasing after me; Esme's voice carried above everyone else's.

"Bella, sweet heart, please." Her voice carried desperation, floating above all the other noise whipping around my head. That got me, she thinks she has a right to tell me to stop, she left me alone to die, and she's telling me what to do? My feet stuck into the soil, stopping me immediately, the Cullen's ran past me just to spin and land in front of me, every face contained a look of misery in each eye and confusion set on each mouth. Each pair of golden eyes looked at me, studding my body and face, searching for the old Bella. I growled at them, going down into an aggressive stance, stunning everyone but Alice. She had a look of understanding, which only angered me more.

Esme's face surprised me out of my stances. Her usual collected and calm face was contorted in self-hatred, with flickers of anger and pain in those wide golden eyes. Good. She deserves it, yet my heart still calls for her to hear its pain, to hear the beating torment.

"Bella, how...how are you alive?" Her voice was soft but I didn't care if she was in misery, she should be. She left a human believing that she loved her and then left her in the forest. My eyes flickered to Edwards face, so perfect, his amber eyes showing confusion and love. It was disgusting. I let out a feral hiss that made him back up a few feet, my beast found pleasure in his scared face.

"I don't owe you anything, least of all an explanation." I glared at almost every face before turning to run in the opposite direction, Alice's face was left out of my vision, keeping my body from embracing the pained pixie. When I turned, there she was, blocking me from escaping, her face determined and fierce.

"Bella, please." My body started to shake, my chest rumbling with the growl that kept immerging from my lips. I carefully stepped around Alice, my face contorted in false hate, unable to create the emotion itself, angry yes, I can do angry. Hate is another whole thing; too many painful memories keep the hate from forming in my heart.

I felt a cool hard hand on my shoulder, his hand taking covering my entire shoulder, his thumb caressing my skin. I turned my head to see Edward; his eyes full of sympathy and love, he wasn't miserable like the others, his messy bronze hair in perfect disarray. I turned to face him, shielding all of the anger that had formed, hate forming in my heart for this one specific Cullen, unable to bring happy memories strong enough to keep the emotion at bay. Every Cullen froze as I turned to him; he smiled his crooked smile, his golden eyes swarming with a plea of forgiveness. He held his arms out to embrace me, I faintly heard a weak growl, but kept my attention on the idiot. I stepped toward him, placing my palms on his chest, smiling just for a moment, before pushing so hard he slammed a hundred feet away from me into a rock, his body cutting deep into the marble.

I didn't bother to look at the other Cullen's, I stepped around the small pixie that appeared again in front of me and started to run.

Then fell.

A small weight appeared on my back, her cool fingers wrapping around my back as her legs crossed around me, her ankles locking her body around me. She was shaking slightly, her voice coming out in whimpers, her dark raven hair tickling my skin as she nuzzled her head into my shoulder. I jumped up from the ground about to rip the small girl from my back when a sudden pain hit my heart. I gasped; breathing deep breaths until the pain vanished. I tried to get Alice again, but the pain hit me so strong I fell to my knees with the strength of the hit. All of the fight torn out of me, I whispered, my voice breaking with pain.

"Get off of me, Alice." The girl on my back shook her head fiercely, dry sobs coming from her throat as she tightened her hold on me. I looked up at the sky and screamed, taking out all of my anger and pain in my heart.

"Get OFF Alice!" I jumped, reaching my hand out to grab the tree branch a few feet above my head, my fingers grasped the wood. I swung my body over the branch, flipping and climbing up the tree, swirling and twisting in the air, jumping from on branch to the next. Fifteen minutes later, Alice was still clamped on my back, refusing to let go while I was on the top of the tree, so high off the ground that the clouds and fog had circled around me, cutting the vision of the floor from my eyes. The Cullen's were jumping just a few feet below me, just as desperate for me to stop as Alice was.

I stumbled on a branch, knocking me off, my body started twirling down to the floor, and branches snapping as my weight hit each tree limb. My scream filled the air as I dropped, twirling in mid air so Alice could be protected from the impact of the incoming ground. Just before the ground came, my arm whipped out to grab a strong tree branch, ripping the arm from my socket, placing me softly on the ground. I hissed from the pain, quietly popping my arm into its socket. Alice said nothing, just grabbed onto me tighter.

"Damn it Alice, get the hell off of me!" Alice just shook her head repeatedly. Each Cullen dropped to the floor gracefully; Rosalie looked at me with searing pain, her eyes looking for any injuries on my body. Such fake sisterly love, are they continuing their game? Esme grabbed her hair with her hands, pulling on each perfect curl, her eyes misty with the tears that would never fall, her lips in a sorrowful grimace.

"Bell-" I cut her off, swinging my arm around to rip Alice off me, the pain bringing me to my knees, but the small pixie was finally off me. I stood and turned to the Cullen's, Alice laying on the ground, staring up at me with those large golden eyes.

"No. You don't get to talk to me; do you even know how much pain you have caused me?" My voice laced with pain, making every Cullen wince, except Edward who must still be trying to get out of that rock. Emmett ran his large hands through his cropped hair, his muscles bulging with the stress that had coursed through him.

"Bella you don't understand, we all love you-" My laughter cut him off; I tilted my head up to laugh at the sky, the sound so empty and painful.

"Right, that sounds familiar, I suppose leaving your loved ones in the middle of the forest is a vampire ritual thing, right, sorry my mistake." My voice was husky with tears and sarcasm, each Cullen fell silent. Alice winced on the ground, still lying perfectly on the ground looking like an angel. Esme decided to speak up again.

"Bella, I love you like my own daughter." I cut her off with another sarcastic laugh, my eyes searing with their tears.

"Oh, so do all of your daughters get forgotten in the forest, with cuts on their feet and absolutely no way to get back to their home? What have you been doing these last twelve years, you probably forgot all about the human, who was ripped up by a wild beast. I suppose that stopped the human from being a monster." I laughed again, the pain so sharp that tears were rolling down my cheeks, unable to stop. The Cullen's were shocked silent. Edward now made his way to me, his eyebrows pulled close together with anger. The beast inside roared with pleasure, I release the beast just to rip him apart.

"Bella, enough of this, you don't understand, I left you to protect you. I did it for your benefit; you didn't belong with us monsters." I roared, my voice losing all of its humanity as the beast started to take control. All of the Cullen's looked at me in surprise.

"What the hell would you call me, then Edward, if im not a monster what am I?" Edward opened his mouth to speak, but closed it immediately. "Do you think a human could out run all of you vampires, fall a thousand feet from the tree, then jump up, and push you hard into a rock?" Edward looked confused and looked at the rest of the Cullen's for support; they just glared at him, even Esme kept a constant cold glare.

"Then what are you?" I turned to Jasper, his voice kind and curious, I smiled and turned away from him. My body started to shake, causing me to fall to my knees, Alice immediately jumped up dashing over to my shaking body. The transformation all took about half of a heart beat. My clothes ripped off as my skin grew fur and the wonderful thrill of turning into my second form came over me, banishing the pain from my heart, even just for that nana second.

I jumped from the Cullen's on all fours, my tiger form complete, and I turned from the Cullen's and ran as hard as I could to La Push. Each Cullen chased after me, Alice was yelling and begging me to stop, her eyes wild with uncontained pain. As a tiger, I ran twice as fast as the vampires did, just a blur for their golden eyes to stare at. They were persistent though, chasing me until the border came up, I jumped into the border, knowing they couldn't follow, unless they wanted to rip apart.

I watched in horror as Alice attempted to jump past the border, wolves appearing already, yapping and howling. She was in mid air, her eyes glued to me, blind to the upcoming enemy. My body snapped in action. I jumped, meeting her in the middle, pushing her down to the other side of the treaty line as the wolves missed her by mere seconds. They howled at me, snarling and biting at my tail, I turned to roar at them, making each wolf to stop and back up.

Alice looked at me with wide eyes, shocked to see the danger that was so blind to her. I jumped off her, turning and running into the forest, not looking away fast enough to see appreciation in Alice's golden eyes, stinging my heart again with its familiar pain


	4. Chapter 4

**So I jumped out of my comfort zone to do and Alice Point of view, I wasn't going to do this, but since people seemed to want that, and I respect my reviewers opinions, decided to throw together a quick update, please tell me if it was bad or good. I did not know what to do for little Alice, so it may seem rather random and not well thought out. I apologize in advance. **

**Oh! In addition, I will not be publishing in like, a week, sorry, family business came up, and I apologize to those who care. **

**I have a feeling this update is not good, so just to reiterate, Im sorry for that.**

Alice Cullen's Point of View.

Vampires cannot dream, but if they could, rest assure that I would be dreaming of Bella Swan. I fell for her that day I walked through the cafeteria, my golden eyes falling on her curious face. I wanted to jump to her side and brush my hand across her soft cheek and kiss those soft lips of hers, but I stifled my love for, seeing that Edward had some sort of possessive need for her, and she had seemed interested. Edward had found out my love for her a few days after he almost killed sweet Bella, he took me out of the house to scream at me, so disgusted with me that he told my family about my feelings, expecting some punishment for me, instead, they rooted me on. Bless them, they already knew, apparently, Jasper hinted to them that their little Alice had fallen in love, everyone connected the dots and was happy, but Edward had also fallen for the girl, and she had fallen for him, so I stepped away and took the role of her best friend.

It broke my heart, but I just wanted her to be happy so I watched from the sidelines as my brother got to hold the girl, taking for granted everything that was Bella Swan. My heart would break every time I saw Edward with Bella, and I desperately tried to cut my love for her, sensing that if I did not stop this growing love it would drag me under, but everything about her drew me in. Her alluring smell, her chestnut hair that waved around her face, framing her adorable alabaster face, her sharp cheekbones that curved underneath that soft skin, those large, innocent, dear like, chocolate eyes, that showed all the emotion she was feeling, a window to her perfect soul. Those plump red lips that always were stretched into a soft and affectionate smile that would bring my dead heart to life. Jasper noticed my love for her and encouraged me to make my move, bless him, but things could not be that simple, I rather die than destroy my friendship with Bella. Jasper and I had dated 80 years ago, I had found him in a bar and we had clicked, but after an awkward year together, we ended our relationship and became best friends, then brother and sister when we found the Cullen coven.

I am completely, irrevocably, and unconditionally in love with Bella Swan.

So watching my brother and Bella progress in their relationship wasn't horrible, it was pure agony, and everyone noticed, Edward smiled most of the time. My family started to notice Edward as the true sadistic creature he was but kept silent, watching from the side as I writhed on the floor. Once the pain had come to be so unbearable that I could not move from my room, the pain locking me in place, paralyzing each muscle. I stayed like that until Bella, the kind and loving soul that she was, found out. She rushed to my side and draped her arms around me, she did not have to say anything, it was just the touch of her warm body next to me that soothed the unbearable pain that had started to tear me apart.

The pain was unbearable and it almost killed me.

It also was not even comparable to the pain I felt right now.

I sit here on the rock, resting on perhaps the most beautiful place on earth, now turning ugly, as memories of just a few hours ago had played out.

_I sat on the large grey rock that looked out over the creek, the inky black water rushing weakly through the obstacles despite trying to reach its destination. The pain of losing Bella was unacceptable, and has not been accepted since I heard on the TV that she had been lost in the forest, my family and I had dropped everything they were doing and ran through several of the states we had crossed, sprinting to find our lost family member. We had followed Edwards instructions blindly, not fully aware that he would drop her off in the middle of the forest with no phone and no direction back. I had not accepted his terms and made plans to go back to my Bella in a week to be with her, but I had to be careful, Edward was dangerous when refused so I had to wait a week for him to settle in Alaska, then I could make my move. ___

_Hearing of Bella's fate had caused so much heartbreak in our family that everyone was torn apart; we had searched the forest for hours, tearing apart everything, several times coming across her smell just too disappeared again. We eventually found the spot were Edward had abandoned her, her blood everywhere, smeared onto a marble rock were her tears had fallen, large animal tracks followed the weak human's struggles and eventually it bounded away apparently leaving nothing else. I had fallen to my knees, unable to cry for the love I had lost, and the torment twisting my insides, as anger roared inside. The monster inside of me mourned for the lost love, for once sympathizing with the human part in me. My monsters pain had doubled my own pain, causing an unbearable stab of pain to run right through me, immobilizing me and splintering its knife's blade throughout my body. My family watched in silence as I tilted my head up to the heavens and screamed my voice the farthest thing from human. My human side disappeared that night, evaporating while the pain burned through me, my fingernails digging into the soil, ripping roots out from the ground, causing trees to crash down to the floor. The destruction had caused my family to react violently, Rosalie screamed into the night, falling onto her knees. Emmett, said nothing as he tore down trees, breaking rocks, ripping large scars into the earth as chaos started to arise through are family. Esme, usually calm and would have tried to soothe their breaking family, fell in a heap on the ground, screaming and crying for a god long forgotten. Carslie looked up to the sky and roared, like a lion losing the will to live. Jasper started to run, sprinting through the trees, tracking down the animal that had caused Bella's death, after a while he came back and pounded Edward hard into the dirt. At that, I jumped on his back, biting at his neck, scratching deep cuts through his body. No one stopped me. Carslie looked down with absolutely no pity when Edward screamed for help. ___

_Edward had looked upon the bloody stain on the rock with a remorseful look on his face, his golden eyes turning black with thirst. I found the courage to speak my mind to him, yelling for him to leave this family, Emmett and Rosalie backed me up, screaming at him to leave and never come back. Eventually Esme had stood up from her vulnerable position and tried to salvage whatever family we had left. Emmett and Rosalie were already planning on leaving and Edward had plans to leave to Alaska, to visit the vegetarian coven their. No one paid much notice to the man that stole my love away from me. That is when my golden eyes found the small ring that lay bloody and dirty on the forest floor, Bella's "engagement" ring. I wore the ring everyday and every night, it is a symbol of my love for Bella, even if she never knew, I would forever wear it. I picked up the ring and put it on my ring finger, placing it on top of the first one. I still wear it today, even now, twelve years later. ___

_I could not stay with my family after that; I left that night, going to Bella's funeral. I stood at Charlie's side the entire time, the rest of the Cullen's went to the funeral, except Edward. Charlie, who found out that Edward had ditched Bella in the forest, refused to allow him to enter. Edward had screamed and yelled, getting in the heartbroken fathers face, when he pointed his finger to Charlie's chest, I grabbed him by his neck, dragging him away. The sight would have been humorous if I hadn't looked the farthest thing from human at the funeral. I dragged him away and people's faces grew pale with fear at the sight of my face, I hardly noticed. After a large fight, tearing at each other's neck I returned to the funeral, standing silently by Charlie's side, I was the only one who he accepted to stand by him. ___

_When the funeral ended, I stayed by Charlie's side for two years. I was going to leave, but Charlie had gotten into a problem, drinking heavily to relieve the pain that had become unbearable. I spent two years with him, slowly helping him move on from his daughters death, when he asked me once why I cared so much about him, why I didn't leave him, I told him the truth. I told him that I had fallen in love with his daughter, and that being forced to leave Bella with Edward had caused Bella to get lost in the forest, so I felt responsible for her death, and to help ease the pain I had caused in his life, I wouldn't leave until he was better. He had stared at me for a long time before bursting in tears and enveloping me in a hug. I cooked him dinner every morning, lunch, and dinner for two years, had witnessed a slow processed healing and knew that I would stay like this forever, it is my burden to carry for the rest of eternity. That realization had caused me to go a state of instability. My fragile human side that had slowly started to build, swept away, I crushed any hope that had sub consciously started to flare inside that, one day I would be happy. ___

_I refuse to be happy. ___

_Therefore, I spent years walking, with no direction and blind to be I was going. I just walked, hunting when needed but never kept off of my straight path, not stopping to avoid water or rocks, I just went through it, my unbeaten heart bringing memories to my hazy mind to pull me from reality, causing torment to rise through me, I felt hatred for not only my self but for Edward, he will never be my brother again for what he has done. After eight years, I walked around the earth and ended up where I started, at the forest of broken hearts. I spent the last two years with my family, ignoring Edward who had returned earlier. Our entire family had come apart at the seams, our family bonds ripping to shreds, even Esme did not pretend like we were the family we once were. I helped her cook meals that stood on the family table waiting for our beloved Bella to suddenly come through the doors, hug, and kiss everyone. Every night she would fall on the couch and come up with dry sobs that shook her to the core, Rosalie would stare at the wall for hours on end, just sitting and waiting. Emmett sometimes would walk into the room calling Bella's name endlessly until someone had to stop him. Carsile would buy medical equipment to hang around the house, then say its for when Bella comes back, she may need it, no one argued with him, seeing the desperation obvious in his eyes. Edward would brood, sometimes play Bella's lullaby on the piano, but usually he would just blame everyone for his mistake, convincing no one that he left to protect her. ___

_The pain still grippes my heart twelve years later and it is the only thing that keeps me from drifting away and going on a killer spree. I was thinking about all the times Bella had saved me, keeping me sane, when a distant voice drifted to my ears. A beautiful woman wearing a white t-shirt and black boxers emerged from the forest, tears rolling down her cheeks as she screamed the last words in the song she was singing. I started playing with the two rings on my ring finger, studying the two identical gold gems that stay twisted in the middle of each of the delicate silver rings. ___

_"I don't love you like I did, yesterday." Pain shot through me as I pictured Bella whispering those exact words to me, then being ripped apart into tiny pieces by a large animal. The woman turned; slightly awestruck by the sight before her, the beautiful meadow, and flowers reaching up to feel the suns comfort, trees outlining the meadow as the creek crossed through the middle. The painfully familiar woman, walked gracefully, with an attractive swing of her lips, feline. I felt myself being pulled to her, I jumped down the rocks and floated towards the girl, her eyes glued to the inky black creek.___

_"Beautiful isn't it?" The girl had frozen and slowly turned her head towards me, something flashed in her eyes, recognition and a sudden sense of peace had seemed to fill her as she glanced at me, her electric blue eyes filling with emotion, so very warm and familiar it had caused my heart to burn with the eternal sadness of Bella's death again. She smiled softly, her icy blue eyes melting into the crashing blue ocean; she stepped in my direction before her heart did a double take. Her calm face shattered as she looked at me again, anger and sorrow clear on her face. She then crouched, her sharp white teeth flashing in my direction. I was too stunned to do anything, a human doesn't growl right? The girl stepped forward with an enraged look on her face. ___

_"Come on Alice, don't you recognize your pet._"

Stupid, Alice, you didn't even recognize her, you looked at Bella, saw her perfect ivory skin, noticed those large plump lips, smelled the same alluring fragrance, despite having no thirst attached to the smell, the familiar arch in her cheek bones and the heart shaped, lovely face of Bella, and didn't recognize her Although her usual calm face was contorted in anger and pain.

_She hates you._

Yeah, that is obvious, the way she looked at me when she tried to get past my family, it was a look of pure hatred. I don't blame her though, I followed Edward blindly causing twelve years worth of pain in her life. I can barely contain the hatred for myself. Looking down at the engagement rings, forever glued to my finger, I stood up from my perch on the grey marble stone, jumping down to race towards our still shocked family. Everyone was unsure on how to act when they found Bella alive, Emmett was ecstatic, jumping around, and then falling down on the couch suddenly filled with sorrow. It was obvious Bella did not want anything to do with us. The trees blurred past me as the form of my house showed up in front of me, I jumped through the open bay windows, landing softly in front of the family.

Esme ran to my side, her brown hair swirling around me, tickling my nose as she embraced me in a warm embrace. Her soft arms wrapped around me, dragging me to the couch and pulling me on her lap. Probably the one upside of being incredibly short is that everyone can't stand but have you in a warm embrace, carrying you around and pulling you on their lap. Bella was one of the most common people giving me random bursts of affection, pulling me on her lap or holding onto me while she slept on her bed. My eyes rolled to the back of my head at my most loved memory of Bella. My Bella.

_I scaled the tree outside of Bella's room, jumping through her window and landing softly on the hardwood floor. Bella was lying on her bed, the dark sheets twisting around her restless form, her mahogany hair sprawled everywhere on the soft pillow, her sweet smell pushing my body to her side. I wish I could just climb into her bed and wrap my arms around her, but that's the kind of thing Edward got to do, not Edwards sister. ___

_I sighed, letting my cool breath tickle across the back of the younger girl's neck. Im not quite sure why I am here, I just felt like something was wrong, like I didn't belong in my house anymore_, _but I don't belong here either, so their is no winning. My eyes traced the smooth muscles in Bella's tense back, her breathing becoming more strained by the second. My legs moved without a command from my brain, moving on its own to the younger girl, lacing my fingers in the sweet smelling hair. With my other hand, I traced her form, letting my fingers trial the girls body until they found her waist, pulling at the girl to face me. Bella, turned suddenly, facing me with open eyes._

"_Hey Alice_."_ She smiled at my shocked expression, getting up into a sitting position; she pushed her hair away from her face. Quietly she walked over to my frozen form, draping her arms around me, planting the sweetest kiss on my cheek. She easily dragged me to her bed were she laid her head on my lap, my body resting on the wall while her body curled around me. I felt at that moment like I belonged there n Bella's arms._

I sighed into Esme's embrace, Bella would never hold me like that again, she would most likely try to rip my throat out, and she had climbed a thousand feet just to try to rip me off her, and then fell the thousand feet, twirling in mid air...to protect me from the fall?

No. That's ridiculous, she probably twisted by instinct, cats always land on there feet. I sighed again, my breath hitting the base of my mothers neck, her own chest heaving unevenly as she tried to absorb tonight's information.

Bella is alive, she is no longer human, but she is alive.

She also hates us with a passion.

_She did save you. ___

Right, she had jumped back to hit me across the boarder line, to keep me from being ripped up from large wolves.

My mind left to wander, marveling at Bella's beauty. Even as a large cat, Bella is beautiful, her long glossy coat, orange and brown coating her fur as large black stripes cover her skin, her muscles smooth and toned, her body twice the size of the large wolves, although not as bulky, slim and feline. Her once brown eyes now an electric blue, sparking with emotions that could burn anyone to a crisp. Her black slit like pupils shining in the moonlight, her large paws, stretched out, revealing sharp four-inch nails, glistening in the dark. Bella's face, although cat like, showed beauty, furry head showing sharp teeth and her fur a slick gloss that when the sun or moon hits the dancing colors. Bella is beautiful, no matter what form or shape.

Unfortunately, she will never be mine, though my unbeaten heart still cares to hope, building me up so that I can fall

_You could tell her how you feel maybe she feels the same. _

What a load of crap my heart is trying to make me believe! Though my body stood up anyway, jumping out of the house to find Bella, planning to act on the stupid thought my heart decided to voice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please…Read and review. **

Just A Pet chapter 5

The trees whipped past me, transforming into small streaks of colors, disappearing from my view as the seconds ticked off. My paws tore through the soft soil underneath me, my sapphire eyes scanning the woods around me, searching for that lying dog. Jacob lied to me, he told me they were gone, that the were wolves pushed them away from Forks. Obviously, that is not true. Alice's face still burns in my mind, her magnetic golden eyes tearing open the scars that had started to heal. A deep guttural roar echoed through my chest, vibrating my entire body. I just ran faster, the land behind me looking trashed as I ripped past each tree.

The small town appeared in sight and the roar increased in sound, each wolf boy jumping in action as they heard the sound. Large wolves intersected my path to the town, trying to drag my large body away from the innocent bystanders in my way to Jacob. I twisted, my neck snapping towards a fury body next to me, my teeth sinking into his shoulder, bones crushing underneath my strength. The wolf whimpered and jumped off me, just to replace another large mongrel. Each wolf piled onto me, digging their teeth into my skin while my teeth cut through their skin, breaking bones and throwing the pups off me. I charged through the crowd of inexperienced fighters, searching for our "pack leader", that pup would pay for the mistake he made. As I started to take off, my body fell to the ground as four large wolves pushed me to the ground, each wolf biting onto my legs, immobilizing my raging body. One large black wolf snapped at my neck, digging into my jaw line. My claws instantly retracted, meeting with the black wolfs back, ripping large amounts of skin off the boy. His jaw immediately released me, cowering away as his wounds started to heal, his dark green eyes staring at me with outrage. Just as he leaped towards me, a dark umber wolf talked him mid jump, pushing him to the ground, his sharp white teeth snapping inches away from the onyx wolfs neck.

**_Enough_**

I snorted in defiance, as Jacob used his Alpha dominance to cool the situation, watching with disgust as each wolf calmed down. Each pair of eyes watched the umber wolf with awe as he jumped off the calmed wolf that not seconds ago, was snapping his teeth at me. Jacob turned to me with understanding chocolate eyes, his large wolf form trying to become intimidating as I growled at him, my own teeth snapping as a low feral hiss echoed through me.

_**Bella, sit down.**__****_

A deep, unwelcoming sensation rushed through me, taking control of each muscle, pulling and restraining the beast within. I growled, pushing the control from my body, pushing our "Alpha" to the ground, towering over his pathetic wolf form. Their was nothing calm about the situation now, I was challenging him, and each wolf was howling for a fight, circling us as their teeth slashed and snapped for Jacob to win. Jacob' eyes widened for a split second, fear flashing through his eyes before he quickly put on a mask, anger and dominance clear in his intentions. He stood up, trying to reach my eye level, a deep growl rumbling in his chest.

_**I**__** am Alpha Bella, sit down, **__**now**__****_

The umber wolf now glared at me with rage as I continued to resist his demands, his control was slipping and he knew it. Jacob loves being in control, so he keeps every wolf in check keeping dominance, but he will not dominate me. I stepped towards him, watching with pleasure as his eyes popped out of his head, just to be replaced with more anger. He met me halfway, stalking me down pushing a lockdown control over my body. Each muscle burned, fighting from being controlled, my heart hammered blood through my body, desperately trying to push all restraint from my body. We were locked still, Jacob fighting for control as I fought it off, each staring into each other's eyes, searching for a weakness.

Then, once I thought I saw what I needed to do, Jacob' wolf smile appeared on his smug face. His muscles changed position, leaning towards me, keeping eye contact with me. I was unable to move away as he leaned in, his wolf control slipping from my body's limbs and retreating to my mind. I felt a trickle of fear as I was able to move my own body, but the control was pushing something else, breaking down a wall, shattering my minds defiance. I winced in pain as he slowly gained control in my own mind, chaos starting to swirl in my mind as Jacob protruded inside, his dark eyes still locking me in place. The area around me started to darken as my entire body fought Jacob out of my mind, feeling the boy in my mind, taking in my memories, relishing in the pain I felt as he refreshed my mind with flashes of memories.

_"Bella, try on this!" I groaned and turned to stare at the small pixie, unable to escape the torture that she was putting me through. My eyes flickered to the stores doors, my mind making decisions to escape, plans being made. The golden pair of eyes glazed over then snapped back in focus, angry this time. "Bella, don't you dare think of running away, I will just drag you back." The small pixie pouted as I thought of using some sort of distraction to make time to hide. Dang, the pixie pouts. I am never strong enough to fight back, yet I stood my ground, squaring my shoulders, refusing to break contact with the small demon girl. Her lower lip pushed out farther, her large melting honey eyes growing larger as she cocked her head slightly to the side. My resolve cracked, and Alice, seeing my weakness, attacked. She grabbed my hand, kissing me on the cheek as she dragged me to a dressing room. ___

Jacob, seeing my weakness, smiled, pushing more memories to my mind as my muscles started to contract in pain. I was losing, and I can't even fight back. I gasped as my mind was pushed farther into a memory, my body slowly giving up.

_"Esme!" The woman looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes bright with love, her chestnut hair swirling around her heart shaped face as the wind continued to howl around us. The rain pounded around me, each hit felt like a slice cutting into my soft human flesh. My mother turned completely towards me, her eyes wide as she observed me, concern evident in her eyes. ___

_"Oh Bella, what are you doing in this storm, your going to catch a cold." She appeared right in front of me, her arms constricting around me, taking me away from the cold and into a warm house, by the burning fire. A blanket wrapped securely around me, silencing my shivering body. ___

_"Thanks Mom." Their was a small gasp, then a delighted purr that blocked out all the other noise in the world. ___

I fell to my knees, wincing in pain as Jacob continued to gain more control over my writhing body. The wolves howled in triumph, jumping around me and nipping at my back and neck. Jacob pranced up close to me, pushing me down to my knees. His control won, fighting back all of the resisting rebellion in my muscles. A final memory flew through and into his mind, a memory that made his eyes widen and his mouth drop in surprise.

_Alice stood in the middle of a meadow, a weak river pouring over rocks next to me, her face filled with misery. I stepped forward, feeling the need to be close to her, the beast within roaring with delight at the sight of the pixie. Peace seemed to fill me, soothing all of the pain that had settled on my heart, washing away all of the knots in my stomach that had caused so much pain. My eyes lay on the familiar girl, watching her as if I never saw her before. My heart stuttered silently in my chest, as my feet took a step towards her. ___

_Then all peace was shattered as realization slapped me across the face. This is Alice, my former best friend. I jumped back, growling at the surprised little pixie that broke my heart. ___

Jacob stared at me, shock evident in his eyes, then disappointment, followed by disgust. He growled, pushing his control entirely on me, locking every muscle in place. The beast inside of me was too tired to fight back, whimpering silently in the back of the cage Jacob had created.

Jacob jumped up, startling all of his wolf minions, he barked instructions at them. They all circled me, biting into my fur, pulling me away from Jacob, who stood back, shaking his head at me, a satisfied wolf smile on his furry face. I didn't rebel against the commands; I just followed the boys into the Alpha's house, landing heavily on the couch. Jacob kneeled down next to me, placing his wolf head next to me, his eyes angry and in control. He growled his last command as my muscles obeyed without complaint.  
_**  
**_**_Sleep_**

My body curled up, my tail tickling my nose as I closed my eyes, faintly hearing Jacob's commands to have me watched. I silently receded to the back of my mind, my growling eventually descended to a faint purr, my mind swirling to the darkness.

_"I love you Bella" I turned my head to see the short pixie girl beside me, my heart leaping with joy. My eyes scanned her beautiful form, her dark raven hair that pointed in every direction, framing her petite face, her ivory nose pointing out at the end, her blood red lips full and spread into a beautiful and loving smile. Her honey eyes soft and kind as the large golden orbs watched my every move. I tried to answer her, but instead a large yawn came out of my mouth exposing my large fangs, my tongue curling as the yawn drawled out. A small giggle burst from Alice's lips, creating a strong sense of warmth to erupt in my chest. ___

_I stretched, my tiger body reaching its fullest height, then curled around the girl, watching with tired eyes as she giggled, nuzzling her head into my shoulder, her fingers stroking my glossy fur. I placed my exhausted head onto Alice's lap, a deep purr erupting from my chest as the short pixie laid down next to me, curling around me and placing my heavy paws around her, her body snuggled up next to me. I let out a satisfied breath, watching as my breath brushed past the raven feathery hair next to me. Everything was perfect, complete in everyway, tranquility filling in with the silence. ___

_"Bella, _**_Wake up._**_" That defently wasn't Alice's voice; it was deep, and harsh, husky with anger. My head snapped down to see Alice, her head turned away from me, disappointment and misery settling in her eyes. She sighed sadly before pulling herself away from me, easily swiping away my desperate attempts to have her stay; she turned without a word and started walking away from me. Darkness started to consume my world, enveloping Alice in its cruel clutch. Fear and confusion sparked to life, burning within me as Alice disappeared, waving softly before vanishing again out of my life. I jumped up wanting to chase after her, but my legs wouldn't comply, refusing to listen with my desperate commands. My head started to swim, swirling with confusion and pain, feeling a deep pull within my body, pulling me upwards. I howled in frustration as my world went dark, my Alice disappearing without a goodbye.___

"Bella, wake up!" The voice was familiar but my mind refused to acknowledge its importance, still fighting to go back to that simple fantasy world. I let a small sob escape my locked lips, tears falling from my human eyes, rolling down my cheeks and dropping lightly on my hands. My fingers clutched so tight, my fingernails were deep in my palm, blood dripping down from the wounds. A warm hand fell on my bare back causing every muscle to stiffen and jerk away from the warmth. I jumped away from the couch watching in horror as a mob of men surrounded me, scanning my naked form, panting with hungry looks in their eyes. My arms wound around my exposed body, trying and failing to hide myself from the dark looks the men were providing. A deep guttural growl echoed from my chest, causing my pained heart to jump in alert, my eyes searched for a salvation as the men started to corner me. Jacob, perched on a high chair, looked down at me a smug smirk plastered on his face. I snarled at him, twitching with displeasure from the ravenous men's stares. One man jumped forward to grab me, but before a hand was laid, a warm cloth enveloped me. I spun around to see a young man, maybe 16, staring in horror at the scene playing before us. His dark hair curled around his lean face, the muscles on is jaw trembled slightly at the look of the angry men. However, his shoulders squared as he placed me behind him, his tall and lean body providing to be a convenient shield. The boys hazel eyes widened when he saw Jacob, a furious look on his face. Eventually Jacobs mask covered his anger, showing only shame and disappointment. Jumping in action, he landed softly beside the boy.

"Boys, stop this at once, I will not take this attitude in my pack!" He showed fierce determination, his face contorted in anger and disappointment, all aimed at his pack. His eyes however showed no regret or shame for his actions, holding tight to the desire to remain in control. Sean relaxed, believing every word Jacob threw at his "misbehaving" pack, and he relaxed, knowing that his Alpha would never intentionally want to hurt me. He turned and smiled at the boy, placing a hand on the boys shoulder, watching Sean glow with pride. I was too disgusted to hold back my feral hiss, allowing every eye to snap to mine, Sean cocked his head to the side, confused and utterly innocent. Jacob narrowed his eyes, angry again, but hid it when all attention was put on him. He turned to Sean, grabbing the boy away from me, and smiling at me, his smile holding no comfort or affection that I made myself see before. Such false affection glowed his eyes; it turned my stomach, my heart clambering in my chest, sending anger through my bloodstream.

Is this all that people do? Use false love and affection to lure people away, to use them? Are their any honest and loving people in the world or do we all sit alone, isolated and caring only about your own needs. I snarled at Jacob, bringing his attention right back to me. He only smiled, cocking his head to the side, a question forming on his lips.

"Bella, have you met our new member in our pack? Sean Clearwater, a little young to be a were wolf, but with a new dangerous creature in the mist, it creates young turners." That caught my attention; a new dangerous creature is among us? The vampires have been here for years, why should there be early turnings. "That's alright though; the dangerous creature is now under control, in our pack, under our rule." He smiled at me, letting his words sink in, anger started to bubble up, my hands shaking in rage.  
I am not his.

_Uh, yeah, you rather are, since you joined their pack__  
_  
Well, damn it. I didn't think that one through did I? I growled at him but he just smirked, he turned his attention to Sean, whispering words into the boy's ear, I watched as the boys eyes went wide, and then fell back with misery. His gaze flickered to mine, a small sad smile plastered on his lips. I watched as they shared a meaningful glance and Jacob walked out of the room, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Immediately I jumped into action, ripping clothes on and sprinting out of this house, wanting to rip all of my ties from this pack. Maybe I will just stay as a tiger forever, forget my human side and be a beast. Sounded better than being a pet to Jacob. Just a pet, again. When will I ever learn? I sprinted past trees, jumping over creeks and crashing past boulders, I only slowed down when I saw the sight of the cliffs in front of me. A few more steps and-

My mouth hit the ground, the taste of dirt filling my mouth, soil flying in my eyes as a heavy and warm body landed on top of me. His hot fingers wrapped around my hair, pulling me from the ground and hauling me up into his arms. I stared up into Sean's sympathetic gaze, misery clear in his eyes. I struggled in his grasp but fell limp in his arms when he gasped in pain. It sent a cold plunge in my heart, shame filling the void in my heart. It was like kicking a child, Sean's innocence was too pure, and he was very much like a child.

"Im truly sorry Bella, im supposed to keep watch over you." His hazel eyes revealed honesty, and my heart opened up to him. I sighed in defeat and nodded, immediately he smiled with delight, his eyes dancing with joy. I jumped up from his hold and we walked side by side, aimlessly through the forest, both reluctant to returning to the pack.

The sun, once high in the air, lowered down to sit on a mountaintop, spilling its bright colors into the darkening sky. I lifted my head to look at the increasing dark night, the moon bighting as the sun disappeared, the shadows disappearing as everything turned dark. The only source of light we had was the small orb in the sky, shining down at us, making the water glitter with its inky dark light. Sean cowered behind me, his hand wrapped around mine as his eyes searched for anyone lurking in the shadows. His fear seemed to be quite humorous since he was one of the creatures that go bump in the night. I didn't say anything to the boy though, his wide eyes scanning the forest as his lips brought low whimpers to the open air.

I love the day, I love the feeling of my paws in the soil, feeling the warmth that the sun beats down on the Earth, and I feel almost connected to the sun, feeling its strength and warmth beat through me. Though I love the day, the night is beautiful, it makes me feel vulnerable, its cool air breathing around me, makes my heart jump in excitement. It's a weakness that I have come to love, I feel strong in the day but welcome in the night. What would the day be without the night? The light is nothing without the dark.

I breathed in deeply, relishing the beautiful smell that drifted to my nose. Tangy but sweet, soft and alluring, the smell was addictive, and it seemed to call to my heart, making it jump with joy. I turned to Sean, wanting to share this moment with him, but he was covering his nose with his hands, his face twisted with disgust. I cocked my head in confusion, I lifted my head to stare up into the night sky, only to notice a small pixie girl watching me with wide honey eyes, and her body stiffened, being caught, obviously not expecting to be found. Her expression was priceless, wide eyed, her mouth agape, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. A loud laugh jumped out of my throat, startling both creatures, Alice fell from her tree, landing softly with grace on the floor, and Sean doubled back and fell on his tailbone. My heart jumped in recognition, forgetting to feel the pain it was supposed to feel, instead feeling light and relieved.

Alice looked nervously to Sean, and then looked at me, her eyes wide with hope and fear, swirling in those deep golden eyes of hers. The beasts inside of me seemed to come to life, roaring in delight and joy, a deep purr vibrated out of my chest causing both vampire and were wolf to look at me with surprise. I blushed slightly causing Alice to giggle, Sean finally seeming to catch on transformed into his wolf form, jumping at the small girl. Without another thought, I jumped in front of the girl, throwing my arms out to grab her, pulling her from the jaws of the large wolf. I jumped several feet above the wolf, Alice snuggled into my arms, nuzzling her head into my shoulder, a small whimper coming from her lips. I was instantly reminded by my dream and then confused. I hadn't really thought of my dream, but it really was quite odd, it wasn't a memory and it was rather...intimate.

No...That's ridiculous...right?

I shook those thoughts from my mind as I landed softly behind the wolf, dropping Alice; she fell from my arms landing softly on the ground. She huffed out a breath, misery returning to her eyes; sinking my heart with pain. Sean swiftly turned and stared at me, confusion evident in his furry face, I jumped to his side, brushing my fingertips across his glossy white fur, brushing my lips against his forehead like Alice had done in my dream. A deep yearning washed through me, I barely contained my whimper, I turned hearing the gasp of pain from Alice, and I turned to see her looking between the wolf and myself. Her eyes were wide with pain and disappointment, misery leaking from her eyes and into her face, causing her shoulders to slump, her lips to turn downward in a sorrowful frown. I tried to shake off the need to run to her side, brushing my lips across hers, I felt my heart drowning in its unrequited feelings, so I forced myself to focus on Sean. His eyes were wide with confusion, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered for him to leave.

He shook his head but fear was making him shake, he has never met a vampire, and Alice seems to be giving him quite a scare. I looked over my shoulder to see Alice snarling at Sean, her eyes angry and resentful, her beautiful face twisted with misery and anger. I pushed Sean away, turning my attention to Alice, a feral roar vibrating my chest, and rumbling out causing Alice to jump and her eyes to widen in fear. Shame instantly attacked me but I turned away before Alice could see my tormented expression. Sean looked between this, and from a final nod from me, he took off, dashing back from the trees, his tail between his legs.

I looked back to Alice, her head bowed as her shoulders shook slightly, pain sliced through me, but I ignored it, walking past the shivering pixie. Each step I took proved to be more painful then the last, as I tried to contain the pain I felt, a small hand fell on my shoulder. The cool fingers made my body freeze in surprise. It felt amazing, like when your burning hot and sweating and then you jump in a pool, the cool water washing around you, causing a feeling of renewal to crash through you, leaving you refreshed and a new. A deep purr rumbled out of my chest, causing me to turn to the small pixie. She removed her hand and the feeling disappeared, I felt incomplete again, burning and worn. My expression must have been pained because it caused Alice to wince, her body shivering slightly. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, and make her warm, but I know I cant, so instead, I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to feel complete again. Failed miserably.

Suddenly exhausted I sighed, watching as my breath hit the small pixie girl, her eyes lifting to meet mine.

"Why are you here Alice?" I wanted my voice to be cold and filled with venom, but instead it came out weak, breaking slightly when I whispered her name. The girl sighed in defeat and looked up to stare at me, her large golden eyes searching for something in my face. I narrowed my eyes at her and she dropped her gaze, her fingers twitching with unease at her side. With one last breath, Alice looked up to speak to me.

"I needed to speak to you."

**Hahahaha! Im evil! **** I was about to make this chapter longer, but got exhausted and Im leaving AGAIN tomorrow, so I thought might as well update this.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**So, **__**that**__** took a long time, you see, my laptop crashed after I saw a spider crawling on it, over my lap and on my hand, so out of fear I threw the little laptop off of me, breaking the internet connection, so after a LONG talk with parents and paying for the laptop I had to restart my entire story from the beginning because I didn't save. Therefore, everything was stress full, but worth it to update it. **_____

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

_I needed to speak to you_

I sighed and looked at Alice, my eyes studying her beautiful appearance. I thought she was beautiful when I was human; now, now, she is simply a goddess. Every part of her is coated with a sense of beauty and shine, her marble ivory skin, wide honey colored eyes, those rose petal lips that make you want to lean in and capture them...

I shook my head, clearing the confusing thoughts out of my mind, watching out of the corner of my eyes as Alice continued to play with her fingers, her eyes glued to the ground as she smiled a soft and sad smile. My heart played its loud musical thump, filling in the silence that had come between us.

"Fine." Alice's head shot up in surprise, a large grin taking her lips making my heart flutter, I scowled at my hearts reaction turning my back on Alice. I continued to walk aimlessly through the forest, my bare feet pressing against the cool soil beneath me, I tried to ignore my increasing heart rate when I felt the little pixie girl's presence appear right by me. I looked down at Alice, her head reaching my shoulders, the light raven hair tickling my bare skin.

My eyes fluttered close as a strong desire to tackle her washed over me, to hold onto her and never let go. My fingers dug into the palm of my hands as I fought off the foreign emotion. I released a shaky breath, catching Alice's attention, she sighed as well, biting her lip as she thought of a way to start. Her face darkened as the time continued, turmoil obvious on her pixie face.

I turned my body from her, twisting my neck so that I could stare up at the sky, the sparkling stars in the dark night was calming my racing heart. All calm was shattered though, when I felt a cool hand on my neck, her small fingers stroking the base of my neck, her fingers creating a cooling sensation to run through my skin, washing away the pain and anger I felt.

I flinched back from her cool touch, while my body secretly yearned to turn towards her, the beast inside growled and snapped at my stubborn actions, even my voice betrayed me, creating a deep purr to burst from my lips. Alice immediately removed her hand from my neck and I felt empty, my shoulders sagging from exhaustion. I turned my head to see her tortured expression before an emotionless mask covered it, forming an indifference look in her eyes.

"Did you get a tattoo?" I snapped my head to look at my tattoo, forgetting entirely that I had that on my skin. Looking at the dark sun tattoo on my shoulder neatly imprinted on my skin. The black ink curled inside the sun until it reached the outline of the sun where large black flames licked at my neck, spreading across my shoulder and reaching my chest. Alice was tracing the formation with her eyes, her lips parting as she leaned in closer to me, her fingertips brushing against my skin.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about? What kind of tattoo's Bella got since you left?" Alice's golden eyes darkened, her lips twitching downward. "And no, it's not really a tattoo; I got it when the tiger bit me there." The pixie's frown deepened as misery swept through her eyes. She looked me in the eye, stepping forward, her eyes pleading.

"I am so sorry Bella." I snorted, jumping away from our close proximity, watching from a distance as Alice's eyes continued to darken; a look of desperation came upon her.

"You know what Alice, I really don't want to hear it, and you made your decision a while ago." I continued to walk backwards, hoping Alice would stay there; instead, I got an angry pixie to jump onto of me, pushing me down on the dirt. I gaped at her, watching her dark eyes trace my body before flickering to my lips then to my eyes. I growled at her, feeling threatened, my beast although was not really kicking in, it instead inputted several other options, making my heart jump and a deep blush cover my cheeks.

"Bella you don't know of my decisions, I didn't want to leave you, I wanted to stay with you...because-" I didn't let her finish, I pushed her off of me, letting the sting in my heart shake my body for several torturous seconds before growling at the small pixie. Her dark eyes lightened to rich honey gold as vulnerability took hold of her, but when I growled, she narrowed those beautiful eyes, the color returning to a deep onyx.

"Right, what tough decisions have you had to make? I had to watch my father and friends give up on me, and bury my casket with no body." Alice's jaw clenched, anger and misery swirling in her eyes, I turned away from her, just to have her jump on my back, bringing me down to the ground...again. I felt a deep rumbling come from onto of me, it surprised me, I never heard Alice growl. Especially at me, she has no right to growl at me.

"Bella I know you're mad at me, you have every right to be mad, but can you _please_ stop turning your back to me, I really need to speak to you." I growled, standing up and twisting my back so that our positions were reversed, my body onto of the small pixie, each knee on either side of her body. We were so close that I felt her deep gulp of air, and a shallow breath escaping her lips.

"What do I owe you Alice? You were my best friend, like a sister to me..." Why did that feel wrong? She was like a sister...right? Alice flinched and looked away from me, her eyes filled with more misery." Then you just left? I don't care if it was Edward's idea, you all followed it blindly."

Alice's gaze left mine, her eyes glued to the sky above her, her lips quivering as her large honey eyes grew wide and misty, unshed tears welling up in those golden orbs of hers.

Her freezing body shivered from under me, and out of an unknown instinct, my body pressed against hers, wanting to warm her shivering body, the contact made a deep purr to vibrate out of me. I jumped off immediately, confusion swirling in my head making my vision blur with unshed tears. I looked down at Alice who had closed her eyes; her eyelids now shut ferociously, her skin around her eyes tight.

Probably with disgust, I did just press my body against hers, which...was not right.

_Felt right.___

Oh, nobody asked you.

Alice did not move from her position, and I felt suddenly tired, my body losing the motivation to move. I collapsed right by her, my head looking up to the sky as my hands rested on my stomach, the sky was becoming darker, the once misty dusk was now pitch black.

It was beautiful, and although I wished I didn't, I compared it with Alice. Her beauty like the night, dark and dangerous, misleading but calming all the same. I turned my head towards her, watching as Alice did the same, her eyes once again a bright gold.

All of the anger drained out of me, the pain subsided, and just defeat remained. I breathed in the refreshing night, mixed in with the alluring smell of Alice, her smell curling around my body, fluttering to my nose and filling my head with tranquility.

"Why then Alice, why did you leave?" Alice turned her entire body towards me, her rose-colored lips parting as her perfectly white teeth came out to nibble on her lower lip. Her canine teeth, sharper and longer than humans, venom coating the perfect teeth, making them shines in the moonlight. Her light musical voice broke me out of my dazed state of mind.

"I left because it would have been dangerous for me to stay." Anger flared up and I turned again to the sky, a sarcastic laugh filling the night sky. She shot up and looked down at me, her knees falling down to kneel in front of me, her small frame hovering over my stiff position on the floor. "I didn't leave because I thought we were too dangerous, we are dangerous to you, or we were, but that's not why I left." I looked at her curiously, my head cocking to the side a questioning look on my face; she smiled down at me, her eyes showing love and affection. My heart stuttered in my chest, causing a dark blush to flame my cheeks.

"Why did you leave then?" Alice sighed and lied back down next to me, hand close to my head, fingers brushing my chestnut hair, her eyes tracing the dark stripes that coat my once brown hair. Her eyes flickered to my gaze before she answered.

"I left because Edward demanded the entire family to leave, our entire family fought to stay but in the end Edward won, he gets very dangerous when he is denied." My eyes widened, did Edward threaten his family? Alice sighed, her cool breath hitting my lips; I leaned in closer to her, mesmerized by her honey gold eyes. "Anyway, after our fight we all decided to leave, but none of us were planning on leaving for long." Alice bit her lip and looked away from my gaze her eyes tracing the trees, and then flickering back to my face. "We all made plans to go back to you within a week, when Edward left to Alaska, we all pretended to go with it, then once he was settled in Alaska we would have come back to you."

I watched as misery slowly crossed her face, self-loathing and anger plain on the small girls face. "We didn't make it though, you never got back from the woods, we searched endlessly, ripping the forest down, but...we didn't find you." Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, her eyes a window to the misery she was feeling.

Therefore...she didn't want to leave me...

Is this true? Or is it just another lie? I can't see it being another lie, it fits well with her story, but how can I be sure?

I let out a frustrated breath, my eyes falling down to Alice who was staring down at her fingers, twisting two rings on her ring finger. They looked identical, and oddly familiar. Delicate silver twirled the bronze rings, the twisted metal reaching beautiful amber gems on top of each ring, cut and shaped like diamonds.

_"It's settled then." I placed a golden ring on my ring finger, and then reached over, placing an identical ring on Alice's ring finger. Swiftly, I kissed Alice's cheek, entwining our fingers together, watching as Alice smiled down at our "engagement" rings.___

A surprised gasp fell from my lips, my fingers reaching out to the small rings. Why did Alice keep our rings? My fingers held on to the pale hands next to mine, slowly removing one of the rings.

I was suddenly pushed away, a sharp growl filling the air, Alice's eyes dark and dangerous. I looked up at her in surprise, her growl increasing as she clung onto the rings, her fingers locking the rings on her hand.

"Alice?" She shook her head, her black eyes piercing mine with anger, the growl still increasing in sound. Alice shot up, jumping away from me, narrowed black eyes watching me from a distance.

I stood up, walking over to her, testing each step for an aggressive reaction. Alice regarded me angrily, her teeth snapping whenever I stepped closer. A warning growl rumbled out of me, creating a harsh reaction from Alice. She snarled in return, walking backwards from me, her fingers still clutched around the rings.

Why is she acting this way? They were just rings.

Curiosity got the better of me and I jumped forward, repeating my gesture before, trying to take one of the rings.

I was instantly flung back, hitting a tree several feet away, my head crashing through the tree first.  
Well curiosity killed the cat. Alice seemed just as surprised as me, her eyes once again a sweet gold, now wide with shame and surprise, her soft lips turned down in a grimace.

I was about to stand up when the beast woke up, roaring in anger from the unsuspected violence. I landed heavily on the ground, the familiar sensation pulling at every muscle inside, my body quickly transforming into the beast.

My vision cleared, the small black slits in my eyes widening from the lack of sunlight, my body going down in a low crouch. Brown and orange fur started to bristle as a low hiss brushed pass my fangs, shattering the growing silence.

Alice, realizing her mistake, started to turn, running away, her slick black hair swishing in the wind. I always thought vampire speed was unreachable, but when I saw her turn to a run, it switched something inside of me, excitement roaring inside. With increasing delight with my race, I quickly ran up to her, jumping and feeling her cool marble skin under my sharp claws.

A small scream filled the air as my body hit hers, her body trembling with fear as I snarled down at her. All playfulness drained out of me when I saw her fearful gaze, her golden eyes pleading and filled with fear.

We stared at each other for a long time, my electric blue eyes losing its dangerous edge as her golden eyes squirmed with fear, her body trying to push from mine to escape. Each time she squirmed to be released, my body would press harder to keep her from running away.

My tactics to stop her from being afraid defiantly could be renewed.

Eventually, with a whimper of defeat, Alice stopped moving her eyes flickering to mine and then away, closing her eyes, waiting for the incoming impact.

I felt so horrible, disgusting really, I didn't want to scare her, I just needed to chase after her. Some instinct I suppose, but now I can't just release her, because then she would run away, causing this situation to repeat itself.

I let out a frustrated breath, moving my body downwards, my shoulders sagging down so I could rest my head on her chest to think of an idea. Her breath hit my ears, making them flick away, brushing against her cheek as they continued to twitch. I turned my body so that I could still keep her from running away, but not on top of her, my head lying on her stomach as my body curled around her, my arms lying lazily on her legs.

A small giggle caught my attention, I flickered my eyes to the small vampire next to me, and she jumped up from next to me, snuggling into my huge furry body. A light giggle still coming from the small girls lips.

What a strange vampire.

"Gosh Bella, I thought you were going to kill me." I shook my head, licking her cheek. Her eyes widened and brushed her fingers against her cheek, then smiled and nuzzled her head into my shoulder. "Your tongue is rough." I crackled out a laugh, my head lifting to let out a howling laugh, a small tinkling laughter joined in with me.

Everything was so simple between us, it didn't matter that we almost ripped at each other throats, it was just how it used to be...ignoring the fact that pretty much everything about me has changed. I missed her, so very much, my anger for her disappearance a weak pulse of life as my love for my best friend pushed it easily to the side.

I should be angry with her though...

...right? She left.

_She wanted to return.___

Yeah, but she didn't say goodbye; she didn't even bother to tell me the plan.

_How was she supposed to do that with Edward constantly threatening the family and keeping them close to him?__  
_  
All the anger seemed to deflate from me, leaving me rather confused as to why I was trying to convince myself to be angry. Things can't be this simple; twelve years of pain can't just be washed away with a decisive moment.

Alice turned to me and kissed my nose, sending a tingles through my body, my heart fluttering lightly, her golden eyes swirling with affection, a soft smile ensnared her lips as light purring came from the small vampire. My heart warmed at the sound, letting a small purr come from my own body.

I let the small pixie snuggle into me, her hands stroking my glossy fur, reminding me of my dream. Her head rested on my neck as one of her fingers flicked at my ear. I turned my head to stare at her questionably; she just stuck her tongue out at me.

"That, sir, was for scaring me." Deciding to tease her a little more, I jumped up, letting her fall off and land heavily on her back. She eyed me suspiciously when I crouched low, my tail flickering around behind me, baring my teeth at her, my claws digging deep into the earth. A low hiss escaped, making Alice's eyes go wide, her head cocking to the side in confusion, a small flicker of fear flashing in her eyes.

"Bella...what are you do-" The rest of her sentence was drowned out by my roar, bouncing around the forest, reverberating off the trees, the animals in the forest scampered away from the sound.

Alice stood stalk still, narrowing her eyes at me then sticking her tongue out before dashing off in the trees, only to have me chase after her. This time when I came up behind her, I ducked, crawling underneath and lifting up so she was on my back.

The girl cried out in surprise before fastening her hands around my neck. Once I knew she fastened on tight, I took off at full speed, the trees blurring past like streaks of colors, the little vampire on my back gasped at the beautiful sight that encased us.

I felt Alice kneel her head down on my neck, her lips brushing my fur, and once again I was startled at how my heart reacted at this simple touch, she always did this as when I was human...well, cutting out the running bare back on the tiger part.

_"Come on Bella, its great out here!" I rolled my eyes, looking at Alice who was sitting in the beautiful lake, a large grin glued to her face. Once I looked, I couldn't keep my eyes off the goddess in the lake, her unrealistic beauty shimmering in the reflection of the water, her golden eyes making the water golden. The beautiful scenes seemed to be magnetic; it moved my unwilling body to the waters edge, pushing me over to get me closer to the dangerous pixie. ___

_The little vampire's grin widened as her prey moved closer to her, the girl purring out of delight, her hand motioning for me to be closer. Unable to resist, I walked across the freezing water into the icy embrace of my best friend, her arms constricting around me as her head nestled in my neck, her lips brushing against my skin. It made my heart ecstatic, jumping to find an escape out of its rib prison. ___

Oh, well, apparently my heart was crazy back then too...interesting.

A splendid idea came to my mind, recalling that beautiful memory; I quickly changed directions heading towards the lake. I pushed my muscles farther, taking my speed to an impossible limit. Alice, sadly noticed my change of direction, she tightened her hold, her voice growing anxious.

"Bella, don't you dare; I already know where your going, and it wont wo-" I jumped allowing Alice's voice to break as she let out an outraged scream as I jumped head first into a inky black lake.

The water hit fast, the refreshing water swirling around us, soaking our bodies. Alice let go of my body, struggling to reach the top, her stone body sinking her to the floor. I swam after her, grabbing her shirt with my jaws and dragging her to where the Shortie could stand. I turned into my human form, knowing the water was to inky black for anyone to actually see anything.

My head reached above water, and immediately my laughter was filling the air, watching as Alice crossed her arms and pouted, looking away angrily. It only made me laugh harder making me fall under water again, my laughter still reaching the surface through bubbles in the water.

Finally, I heard Alice join as well, her voice light like tinkling bells. She pulled my head above water, her eyes scanning my exposed neck and collarbones, her eyes darting down to the inky water, then back to my eyes with surprise.

"Bella! You're naked!" I laughed at her surprised face, her adorable face still in a state of oblivion.

"Alice, what do you think happens? My clothes magically disappears then reappears when im back to myself?" Alice pouted again, her golden eyes widening with innocence.

"So I suppose with all that ripping out of clothes, you will have to shop...a lot." She let out a low purr, her eyes lit with amusement. My laughter died immediately.

Go shopping with Alice? Sure, pretend that nothing happened and we were just two best friends out shopping, although I would love to do that, something keeps stopping me.

Alice immediately caught on to my changed attitude, her smile slipping off her face, her eyes returning to that state of misery. She slipped her gaze from mine, her body dropping down in the water, small bubbles floating up to the surface when her head went under. I smiled sadly down at the invisible Alice, sitting down next were her body should be.

Lightly my fingers searched through the water, finding her feathery hair. My fingers followed her hair down to the back of her neck to her shoulders, wrapping an arm around the shoulder; I pulled her up to the surface. Her golden eyes contained such sorrow as she smiled weakly at me, biting her lip lightly.

"Sorry, Bells." Bells, the nickname sent a stab through my heart. Emmett, my big bear brother, his brotherly hugs and loving smiles, the way he would carry me through the house like I was so fragile, he didn't want me to break anything.

I smiled at a memory, the entire family I used to have. Emmett had picked me up, out of Edwards arms, carrying me close to his chest, joking around with me until he came up to Rosalie who smiled lovingly at me, taking me from my brother and into her arms. She carried me close to her, calling a game; Bella must not touch the ground for the entire day. Everyone agreed happily, Esme taking her turn next, cradling me close to her, then Carslie, then Jasper, then Edward. Alice was last, and perhaps the most humorous, she carried me bridal style, whipping me around the house while my height still overpowered her, my weight was nothing. Eventually, it was Emmett's turn again, and I fell asleep in his arms, only to awake four hours later in Rosalie's.

Could I forgive the Cullen's?

Yes, I could, if everything Alice said was true, I could forgive them, build our relationship again. Although Edward was a different story, he cannot be easily forgiven.

A question burned on my tongue, jumping out of my lips before I could notice.

"What did you do for the twelve years I was gone?" Alice looked at me, her eyes still sorrowful her smile sad and heartbreaking.

"I went to your funeral, and then spent two years with Charlie, helping him get out of his alcohol problem." Alice helped Charlie. My heart burned in pain as guilt griped my body; I had almost forgotten my father, how much pain he must be in. I never even have to say a goodbye or I love you. I just disappeared without a heads up. More hatred for Edward seemed to build up, he did this. A low growl erupted out of my chest making Alice cringe from me; she eyed me sadly, her hands running through her hair, pulling at the edges. "I...I am so sorry, for the pain we had caused him, caused you, I wanted...needed to help him get out of his problem." I shifted towards her, shame biting at my heart for making Alice wince away from me. She sighed and continued to pull at her short hair.

"After he got better, I left the Cullen family, and...just walked." I cocked my head to the side, arching an eyebrow, Alice left the Cullen family? I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, my body started to sink deeper in the sandy ground under me, the water reaching my chin. "I couldn't stop, I wanted to but couldn't, nothing made me stop, not boulders or lakes, I just walked right through. I felt a strong pull on me, forcing me to move until I couldn't move again, I walked the earth for eight years till I stopped at where I began, at the forest. I then spend two years as a part of the Cullen family again...although, nothing was the same." She whispered the last part, her voice breaking with emotion.

We sat their in silence, both in our own miserable state of mind, mine, guilty for leaving Charlie in a sense of misery, desperately wishing I could just go back and hug him goodbye, say, how much I loved him. Or if I could go back, ignore Edward entirely and just be with the Cullen's without connections with Edward.

I sighed, words slipping out of my mouth, at the same time Alice decided to speak.

"I wish I could say-"

"I love you"

How did Alice know what I was going to say about Charlie?

Silly me, Alice can see the future. Alice was staring at me with hope in her eyes, her teeth biting at her lip anxiously. I nodded, making Alice gasp, her eyes widening in surprise before a roar of emotions washed over her. She shifted closer to me, a lightning smile on her face, her eyes showing relief and love.

"Yeah, I wish I could tell Charlie how much I love him." Alice's eyes clouded up with confusion, she stopped and stared at me, opening her mouth before sagging in defeat, her breath rough as she deflated. Her misty eyes emptied showing sharp emotions like knifes, cutting through me as she stared down at the water, her smile vanishing.

She caught me staring at her, her eyes immediately becoming artificially cheery and understanding, a small smile plastered on her face.

What the hell? I was about to ask her what was wrong when a bark cried out making every muscle in my body freeze. Alice and I looked up to see a white wolf jumping out of the trees, jumping head first into the water, his furry head snapping in my direction before letting out a happy bark, his tail wagging furiously.

"Sean! What are you doing?" Alice turned to stare at the white wolf, her body twitching with anticipation; my hand snaked out and stopped her panicked thoughts. "Its okay Alice, its just Sean." She just glared at the wolf, her teeth snapping in his direction, misery and distress swirling in her golden eyes.

The wolf swam over to me, ignoring Alice as he talked me, licking the side of my face.

"Gah, Sean, gross." Sean jumped off, turning to the happy boy, I had grown to like, his dark curly hair plastered to the side of his face as his tawny arms wrapped around me, bringing me into a large hug. I faintly heard a hiss, turning my head to see Alice, glaring at Sean with a hateful expression.

"Bella! I have been searching everywhere for you!" Sean straightened up, plopping his lazy butt down beside me, wedging between Alice and me. Alice glared at the boy, but after hearing my warning hiss, she backed down, her head bowed low as she stared down in the inky black water. I don't understand how she hates Sean, the boy is love able. "Well, after you told me to leave, I started sprinting to get Jacob, but then realized I had let you go and I would get in a whole bunch of trouble. So I went back to look for you...but, uh, I kind of got lost." The boy itched the back of his neck as a large sheepish grin captured his lips. I stared at him in disbelief, the wolf got lost in the woods.

"And you call yourself a were wolf." I shook my head as Sean ducked his head in shame, a large grin still glued to his face.

"You joined Jacobs pack?" The small musical voice caught me by surprise; I looked past Sean to see Alice out of the water, kneeling on the beach, her eyes still containing the endless misery. I nodded and Alice sighed, her eyes flickering to Sean's relaxed form next to me, then back to me, her lips turning down in a grimace.

"Im going to leave it soon though, Jacob and I got some problems to fix." Sean's head snapped towards me, his eyes pleading.

"Don't leave Bella, its really not that bad, anyway you have me, I will protect you." He pointed his thumb to his chest, huffing with pride; I let out a loud laugh watching as Sean scowled at me, his eyes narrowing.

I looked around searching for Alice, but she had disappeared from next to me, her back to now showing as she walked away. My heart spasmed in fear, shooting pain through my limbs as I watched her leave.

"ALICE!" She turned her head, to look over shoulder at me. "That's it? You're not even going to say goodbye, you're just going to leave?" The small vampire froze, turned to face me, waving a goodbye before dashing away in the trees

"What was that about?" I shrugged my heart sinking as I stared after the small vampire. Sean pulled me up out of the water, pulling me to the shore. "Come on Bella, let's go back." I nodded, not entirely listening to the boy, my mind still chasing after Alice. We stood and walked in the direction of La Push.

_Chase after her.___

What? Why?

_Do it.___

I froze, debating what to do, watching as Sean stopped to stare at me questionably. I sighed in defeat, walking towards him, allowing him to take a few more steps.

Aw, why the hell not.

I dashed off in the opposite direction, chasing after the small pixie, hearing Sean's faint footsteps behind me, before all sound disappeared, shooting me father through the trees.

**I know the ending is crappy, I apologize but Im exhausted, so I can't think of a better way to end this chapter. Read and Review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**So writing has become difficult, since I got sick, I have had to leave the computer to cough and convulse and what not. ;) Yeah but I decided to just type anyway even though my head feels like it was smashed against the cement. Read and Review. I suppose im like Tinker Bell, I need applause to survive, or in this case reviews. ;) **

**Don't kill the author! ;) **

**Oh and question! Has anyone ever seen the amazing movie Imagine you and me? Because I just watched that and thought, you should all see it to. It's too cute.**

I was high in the tree tops, my claws scratching the breaking wood on each branch, my breath coming out ragged as I launched my self from tree to tree, my tail whipping out to balance my wobbling body, my eyes searching for the little pixie who jumped out of my sight. My heart was in aching pain, replaying the last look Alice gave me, her golden eyes swirling with misery as the moonlight showed her heartbroken face, her pixie face shaken up with her sadness while she managed a small smile, a wave goodbye before disappearing into the safety of trees. Her smell disappearing along with her small shaking frame, a small tremble hitting the girl before she left without a single sound.

Now I search the forest, my pain building up, threatening to crack through and break me down. Seconds tick by and my anxiety and misery builds, sometimes I would catch Alice's smell, making my body shake with joy, before it disappears and I run farther away from the girl, my heart diving deeper into depression. I just want to hold onto the breakable vampire, swing her in my embrace and never let go, because even though the pain she caused me hurt, it didn't come close to the pain of watching misery take control of the bubbly vampire, sucking out life like a parasite.

I would rather be in unbearable pain that shook me to my knees then see that look come across her face again. I don't know what I would say when I catch up to her, but I know I would do absolutely anything to keep Alice from being miserable. My desperation was seeping through my heart to my bloodstream, leaking into each muscle, muscles twitching with pain and desperation. My heart was clenching, twisting and berating against the rib cage that encased the organ in my chest; it was unbearable, this pain inside.

Then, before her smell could even touch my nose, my ears caught the most heart wrenching, sorrowful sound that flittered to my ears. The voice was filled with pure beauty, strong with a since of heartbreak, flittering with sorrow as it lifted to my ears. My body reacted instantly to the sound; it silenced my heart for a painful instant, before the pain nipped at the flesh, leaking its poison down to my heart, restarting it with pain. The voice was light, whispering quietly in the night as the object of this beauty ran at full speed away from me, it was heartbreaking, the emotion that the voice contained. It was full with defeat, sorrow and misery, swirling with endless pain that came from years of torment, years of repressing the pain that the beautiful voice now revealed.

_Im still alive but im barley breathing; just praying to a god that I don't believe in, because I got time while she's got freedom. _

I raced forward, my legs pushing past each branch, the weak hands of the trees snapped behind me. The pain inside was washing over me, drowning everything else except for the pain and the sound of the pained vampire.

_Cuz, when a heart breaks it don't break even. Her best days are some of my worst, she finally found a man who is going to put her first. _

Finally, my legs pushed me farther, the vampire's smell locking around my nose, keeping my head in a dizzy state of bliss as I chased after Alice, her small broken form shaking as she lifted her head to cry out the rest of the words.

_While im wide-awake, she has no trouble sleeping, cuz when a heart breaks it don't break even, even, no. What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you. _

Her beauty kept me snarled in place, my muscles locking up at her sight as her heartbroken face stared unseeingly at the forest around her, the tree's just a blur as I snapped each branch above her, just to keep up with the beautiful pixie. Her voice kept me entranced, making my muscles moving even when I felt like I should stop, the beauty of my best friend keeping the pain that stood in the distance at bay, just to attack unexpectedly when a dry sob broke the music from the vampire. Wind whipped around my head as I stared down at the vampire who had fell to her knees unexpectedly, her head falling onto her hands as her shoulders shook miserably. My body moved without thought towards her, my body dropping from one branch to another, the ground slowly coming closer, the small vampire unable to hear me from the distance. I was about to just drop the rest of the feet and snuggle my large head against her, anything to keep the sad pixie from being in the state she is in now. I would do anything, rip my own heart out, I don't care; I just want my Alice happy again, even if she was never mine.

Only a few feet left, my large paws easily hopping from branch to branch as my tail would whip around and keep me balanced; I leaned down, my hind in the air as my paws started to slip down the tree's trunk, the wood scratching down the side as my nails ripped at its hard flesh. Then right before I was about to jump down, a smell hit my nose so strongly that it had me reeling a few feet up the tree, my eyes searching for the source of the panting smell of dog. My eyes darted to Alice, her shaking form froze, as she smelt the dogs, her shoulders stiffening, her heartbroken face lifting in the direction that the smell was coming from. I waited for her to jump up and start running, but after watching a few emotions run across her face, her head fell back down in defeat, her eyes fluttering closed, waiting for the impact.

The anger roared to life as my vision blurred, grey and red dancing in my vision, blocking everything out as the pain seared white-hot pain into my brain. My body jumped from down the tree, appearing above Alice right when the dogs appeared, both parties looking shocked at the sudden appearance, my body shaking with anger as I roared at the intruders, my voice rough with anger. My legs were behind Alice, crouching down, waiting, while my entire front was in front of Alice, leaning down to get ready for a bounding pounce and sink my teeth into the furry-skinned boys. My claws retracted and then extracted, sinking deeply into the soft soil underneath me, I let out a small pant, my body shifting so that Alice could move behind me. She did no such thing; instead, she leaned forward, her head against my furry chest, nuzzling her head into me. Cocking my head slightly to the side, I opened my mouth, revealing my sharp fangs before roaring again, warning the boys that were surrounding us for the upcoming danger. I would not be taken down again, my strength overpowers all of them, and even Alice's combined with them.

The boys snorted ignorantly, shifting to the side to let a smug wolf walk in front of me, his obvious smirk on his furry wolf face. Rusty fur flowed from the large wolf, as he walked up to me; I straightened slightly, hovering over the wolf to show my dominance. His eyes widened, showing humor before flickering to the exposed vampire under me, watching as I crouched to hide the small pixie girl. The girl under me reached a hand out to stroke my glossy fur, oblivious to the fight that was about to break out, fear was obvious in my eyes as I watched the wolves corner us. I knew I could fight all of them to the death easily, but im just one person; they may get me distracted and hurt my Alice. I hissed as my heart clenched at the idea, revulsion twisting at my insides at the very thought.

Jacob smirked, looking down at me as I hovered protecting over my Alice, his eyes dancing with amusement.

_**Bella leave.**_

I snorted, his dominance nothing now, just a pebble hitting my defense walls that had rebuilt themselves. His dominance was like a virus, able to reach in once, but died out allowing my mind to fight it off, now my immune system found its weakness, and can easily block it out. His eyes widened as his Alpha voice broke and couldn't even find away back into my mind, he was able to weave himself in once, but never again, he was weak now.

He wasn't my Alpha, I wasn't in his pack, im my own leader, and I don't need him. I growled in response, jerking my head towards him as my teeth snapped at his neck. He shook his wolf head; fear flashing in the brown eyes, the brown eyes I once thought was brotherly, kind and loving. Once so loving and kind, now just over controlling, manipulative and cruel, twelve years as a wolves and he turned into a monster. I roared at his face making the "Alpha" back up in response, confusion and pain in his face. I almost felt bad for him, he has nothing but the desire to be in control, and after that fight I will take that away, he lost everything when the years went by, the young playful Jacob turning cruel as he watched his family grow old and leave, move on. What was that quote? Die young as a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

So, I had sympathy for the lonely sad boy, but nothing strong enough to stop me from ripping his head off. The wolves looked around, confusion on their face as doubt started to flash in front to their eyes. One started to back away before being stopped by the Alpha, his teeth barring as he ordered for my death, his eyes flashing from anger to regret to outrage to doubt, to finally sorrow. He looked back at me, his head cocking to the side, asking silently for me to reconsider, his eyes regretful and sad as he started to shiver, large brown eyes looking up at me, pleading, even an apology struck in the boy's eyes. I shook my head, hissing at him, watching, as his wounded eyes grew hard, his head shook with regret before breaking out in a snarl, his boys guarding him.

Alice didn't even flinch when a wolf came close to her, snapping his teeth in her face, she just stared with wide eyes at the boy, as my teeth made contact with his shoulder. Bones snapped and crushed as my teeth dug into his flesh, ripping him from next to me, crashing to a tree where he fell and didn't get up. Wolves looked at the wolf with a crushed shoulder with rage, turning back to me to snarl, biting and surrounding me.

Several jumped in front as two jumped on my back, three reaching under me to snap at my vampire. I crushed my weight on the boys as their teeth tried to make impact with Alice, only for their object to hiss in response, her dainty fingers slashing out to scratch at their eyes. They howled in pain, turning their head to bit into my belly, my fur ripping as their teeth started ripping the flesh. My own teeth flashed out to bit at the boys in front of me, ripping and crushing at bones as the pain twisted inside, my ripped skin revealing my bones, gushing a heavy amount of blood down at the wolves who continued to rip through my skin.

Then suddenly the gnawing pain reduced as the teeth left my underside, I turned my head to catch a glimpse of Alice, crouching as she bit into the wolves necks, her sharp-clawed fingers digging into the fur. They howled in pain, unable to reach the small pixie, squirming in pain, yelping and jumping as each pair of eyes were growing wide with surprise as the pixie drained life out of them, hands crushing air from reaching their deflated lungs. I was about to pounce and help until a pain hit my neck, I swirled, my teeth snapping into fur, my claws slashing bloody holes into the boys. Three jumped on my back, biting and scratching at me, until I unrepentantly rolled on my back, catching them off guard and pinning three on the ground. The roar echoed out of my body, shaking my entire frame as the wolves watched my fangs glisten with blood before the blood stained teeth snapped down on their necks.

I jumped from the lifeless bodies, running towards Alice who was starting to struggle. Wolves had surrounded her, some wounded but most just enraged, gnashing at her diamond like skin, making cracks out of her skin as they tumbled into her. The forest grew silent as I saw with horror as Alice's skin started to crack, splintering across her face. The beast roared inside, urging me to kill, encouraging death. One jumped, knocking her hard into a tree making my heart drop clenching in unbearable pain before something snapped inside, fear and anger mingling together as Alice whimpered in pain. The beast roared for blood, wanting the wolf's blood. The boys continued towards her, unaware of the hell that they just released, I jumped behind one, snapping the boys neck, tossing him into the two wolves, knocking them away from my Alice. My body prowled, my legs stepping carefully closer towards them as my hips swayed dangerously behind me, my tail flickering as my eyes zeroed down on the boys, seeing nothing but their fearful faces. I jumped forward, only to be knocked to the side, a larger body pinning me down to the ground, his rusty hair swaying in front of my face as his face showed outrage. His teeth glistened dangerously in the dim light, his brown eyes nearly black with anger, his teeth connected hard with my neck, locking down on my jugular, keeping my body pinned as he ripped at my throat.

My claws stretched but couldn't touch him, he kept me pushed against the ground as the pain drained everything out of me, his own claws digging into the deep wounds that drained my blood out, large gashes dripping life from my body, a wound ripped into me from chest to my lower stomach. I faintly heard an angel's voice, her pained voice brining me out of my dazed state of mind. Her voice screamed in pain and torment, her face contorted in horror as she struggled to make her way to me, being slammed against trees from every attempt. The sight made me growl, a weak sound but it made Jacob shake all the same; my growl grew in strength as a wolf prowled closer to Alice, her eyes glued onto mine. I struggled from under him, unable to get up, each attempt bringing more pain to my heart. I slashed my claws uselessly at the air, hoping and failing to make contact with the big hot body on top of me. I closed my eyes, preparing to make a plan, anything to get the heavy wolf off me, his jaw working farther into my neck.

A small whimper brushed out of the wolf on top of me, his body shaking then going limp for a second, allowing me to break free from his hold, I jumped free to see the boy wincing in pain with Alice above him, a frightening look on her face. Her lips were snarling, eyes pitch black with hate, as her arms were tight around his neck, choking out all the air from the boy. I nudged her, my nose brushing against her cool skin, sending relief and tingles through my body, her cold skin cooling my heated body. She looked up at me, her face still contorted in hatred, twisted with pain and anger as her arms continued to constrict around the boys neck. I moved her from her hold, her arms falling to her side allowing the boy to fall limp on the ground. I grabbed his fur with my teeth, dragging him away from Alice to a small river, watching as he whimpered and cried, his tail thumping as his feet tried to stop the direction he was headed. I jerked him into the river, watching as he watched with confusion as he fell into the freezing water, the water rushing into his wounds causing pain to electrocute him, his body contorting in pain before he jumped out on the other side of the river. His eyes were wide with confusion, cocking his head the side as I turned to leave, he howled at me, the husky voice full of pain. I looked over my shoulder at the boy I used to know, the boy with the young heart and loving laugh. I hissed at him, watching as he winced away from me, appreciation clear in his eyes; he nodded and limped away, recognizing that I was sparing him.

I limped through the woods, looking for Alice, thinking as to why I spared Jacob. I hated him, despised him, loathed him for him using me, but when it all came down to killing him, I couldn't. The boys, they were easy, although I could never hurt Sean, I could kill them, but they were disgusting and perverted towards me. Jacob had swayed from light to dark in the weeks I knew him, always looking at me with respect, it was only when I disobeyed him when he snapped, his need for control taking everything out of him. I shrugged, wincing as the action caused a horrible pain to bite at me, hoping that I will never see Jacob again.

My body dripped with blood, every part of me hurt, shaking with pain, but it was bearable, at this point. Bearable until a heart-stopping scream filled the air, shooting pain to every limp, clenching my heart. I started to sprint, running towards the sound, ignoring the pain that sliced towards me, the trees blurred as I ran at a speed that took my limited breathing away. I came to the spot were I witnessed a great horror. Alice lay on her back as a large black wolf ripped into her, his jaws ripping flesh away as she scratched and bit at his head, hitting desperately on his head as more diamond like flesh was ripped from Alice, bringing the scream to shake through the forest. I pounced, my own roar shattering the forest as my claws sliced through him, my teeth shattering his back as I cracked his neck, the pain in my body coming to an impossible point. My body screamed at me, that I shouldn't have ran, that I used up the energy that was supposed to be used for healing, the pain roaring inside, washing everything away as my vision started to blur. The boy collapsed under me, releasing a surprised Alice, her eyes wide as she surveyed me, filled with worry and heart breaking pain. She had a hand to her side that covered the gaping hole in her body, one of her small pixie like legs missing as she winced.

I fell towards her, my body collapsing on top of her as the pain inside of me became to strong, stopping the ability to stand upright. I howled in pain as I surveyed Alice's wounds. Her ivory skin was cracked, splintering out at some points as her waist had a large gaping bite mark, her skin jagging inward were the sharp teeth had pulled out the skin. Her body shook with pain under me, her back curving towards me as she grabbed fistful of my fur in her tight grasp, her mouth opening to scream silently into the night. My own pain was becoming too strong to ignore, my body was dragging me under, trying to convince me to sleep, to go under for a while. I bit into my arm, trying to keep myself awake, I had to get her away, to get her to her house, she would be safe their. I looked around my surroundings, hoping not to see any more threatening wolves. When none came, I lightly grabbed the shaking Alice, pulling her onto my cut back, my own blood refusing to stop pouring out. I roared in pain but continued to walk, each step becoming more painful, each step sent a thunderous cracking pain through my head, searing my body with white-hot pain.

The time ticked by as I moved slowly towards the Cullen's house, limping and wincing with each step, howling lightly at the unbearable pain slashing through me. It defiantly didn't help to have a screaming Alice on your back, grabbing fistful of fur and knocking her head against me as the pain jolted inside of her.

With a sickening crack, I fell down as my bones bristled with the lack of energy and strength to carry on, my body refusing to move any further. Alice grew silent, her pain still roaring inside, but noticing the sudden painful gasp from me, it stopped her pained movements so she could survey me. Hopping lightly off my back she looked me into the eye, her black eyes showing great and unclenching pain, but some reason was in the mist of her eyes.

"Bella, we have…to…move…" I shook my heavy head, and she continued to breathe weakly through her teeth. I closed my eyes, letting myself shut down, but a sudden pained gasp brought me back. "Bella, don't you dare die on me, you're going to make this through, and I don't care if I have to drag you to my house." With each word Alice's voice strengthened, her pain ignored as she wound her arms around my neck, her fingers pulling at my jaw, encouraging me to stand.

Weakly I struggled to my feet, the pain making me wince, I whimpered lightly making Alice cry out, bringing her lips to my nose, dry sobs shaking her form. "Bella I am so sorry, this is my entire fault." She shook her head, continuality pulling me from the neck, dragging me slowly towards her home. "I should have been more careful." She shook her head, her black eyes seething with self-loathing and pain, her gaze flickering to my eyes, changing to sorrow, and her gaze sad with unrecognizable emotions swirling among the misery. "Bella, I wasn't worth it, you shouldn't have fought with your pack just to save me." She shook her head and I stopped, making Alice topple over with the strength of her pulling for me to continue. I collapsed on top of Alice, her small body covered entirely by my heavy body, my limps unable to take any more strain.

She thought she wasn't worth the fight with the pack? That fight was inevitable, the fact that it was over her was just making it more meaningful, it made me proud that each wound that burned through me was for her, that I would willingly die for her. I looked down at Alice to see her have a vulnerable look on her face as she watched nervously as my body hovered over her, I laid down, snuggling into the cool body, my nose nuzzling under Alice's head, into her neck. She purred slightly, her fingers tangling in my fur as she arched closer to me, her head snuggling close to me, dry sobs shaking her as the purr mingled with the sorrow in her body. I licked carefully at her neck, watching as Alice's eyes fluttered close allowing her sadness to leave, allowing me to rest my head on top of hers and start to drift.

We stayed there in each other's embrace for several minutes before Alice's hand started to stroke my head, shaking me from my slumber, her eyes growing gold as she looked at me.

"Bella, as much as im enjoying this, I think you and I are in to much pain to just stay right here, we need to be safe in our house." _Our_ house? I must have looked confused because Alice's eyes widened and she immediately looked away, a frown on her face again. "I mean…my house…" I shook my head, letting out a satisfied hum as I snuggled closer to her. She laughed quietly, then wincing as the laugh brought pain to the wounds in her side. "Bell…a…..you are extremely warm." She said the last part with delight, her eyes closing as she snuggled closer to me, her hands knitting in my fur, I let out a low rumbling purr. "You are extremely warm, but as much as I would like to stay here, were not safe here, there could be a few remaining wolves. Were not exactly in the best shape here." She laughed weakly, nuzzling her head into my neck.

The pain inside was quietly retreating, slowly subduing itself, while Alice was frozen in the unbearable pain until her next hunt, which she couldn't be able to catch in her state, she would have to get some blood from Carslie, which is in his house. I let out a frustrated breath, slowly removing myself, wincing in pain as the burning shot through me, blood still dripping out of my belly; my fur now coated in my own blood. Alice, winced, her eyes filled with pain. I lowered my body, kneeling down so the little pixie could climb on top. She giggled slightly before wincing, breathing out a pained gasp and slowly falling on top of my back.

I cried out a pained roar, my muscles screaming out in agony as I started to trot toward the Cullen's household, their mansion still a mile away. My legs increased in pain as well in speed, as the view of the mansion came to my view. Alice tightened her hold on me as we came bustling towards the house. I fell, my bones weak and breaking as the long night continued, the sky turning a light grey but refusing to release the healing sun's rays.

On the ground, I let out a blood-curling roar, all of the vampires inside of the mansion freezing before dashing outside to witness the horrifying scene in front of them. All of the Cullen's gasped simultaneously, dashing over to us, Esme's surprised face slowly melting into horror as she watched my blood drip to the floor, and her daughter scream in pain. I let out a shaky breath, collapsing as Alice's weight lifted from my back as Carslie immediately pulled her inside. The rest of the Cullen's stared down at me for a few painful seconds, then Esme rushed over to me, throwing her arms around me into a hug. Pain stabbed through me, but I ignored it, my heart was gleeful, I laid my head onto Esme's lap, letting a low whimper escape.

Rosalie then sat next to me, her fingers brushing my fur, her blonde hair tickling my nose as she stared down at me with appreciation and love, until I gasped in pain, then six loving eyes turned to worry, Emmett roaring at the sight of my wounds.

"Who did this to you!" I just shook my head, the pain making my head light and dizzy. Esme shushed him, but her eyes were tight with rage, her lips into a tight line. Rosalie was scanning the forest, her eyes on fire as her fingers clenched into tight fists. Emmett ran a hand through his cropped hair, and then turned to help me up; the rest of the Cullen's lifting me up as well, helping me slowly move towards the house. Each pair of cold hands patted my side as I slowly made my way to the house, then finally the stairs where in front of me, the loving and comforting hands pulling me up the stairs, until the soft bed where Alice sat, her face contorted in pain as Carslie rushed to get blood. I watched in a haze as the Rosalie and Emmett lied me down next to Alice, her body turning towards me, her hands reaching for me not quite able to reach. I nudged my head against her hand reassuringly before whimpering in pain again. Seven pairs of hands were their then, soothing and comforting, Esme's face close to my own, her face tight with anger but love shown through the outrage, making my heart skitter with the love that I had missed. I closed my eyes, slowly drifting into a restful slumber.

Not even caring that there was seven cold hands on me, meaning that one hand did not belong their, but still stood there, stroking my fur like the rest of the loved Cullen's.

**Okay, so this took a long time to write, I really hope it is okay. I was also going to kill Jacob off but after a continuing to write, I changed at the last minute, rewriting it to show that Bella has a kinder soul. **

**READ AND REVIEW.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh my god, I am so sorry that took so long, im still recovering from my sickness, I also had to write a one-shot, it was killing me. **

**I also was gone for several days at a time to go to the beach and surf. Caught a few waves…was tumbled by the rest. ;) I may be a surfer, but I never said I was any good at it.**

**Thank you for all of your lovely Reviews. Please continue. **

The sun fell gracefully down to meet the rugged mountains in the distance, the sky turning darker as the time ticked by, silence threatening to break the family we still had. Every family member lay in a chaotic mess, thier minds whirling with confused and dazed thoughts as they try to hide thier distress. Gold shimmering eyes flickered to my heated gaze, only to flash a variety of emotions before whirling away, each face twisted and contorted in emotions that threaten to break through. Every face except Alice's, running off to shout her unreasonable feelings to _my_ mate. My gaze fell down to the floor, tracing the soft carpet's design, the small furry strands of carpet sticking out to reach the cold dead that live. Bella Swan was mine; Alice doesn't love her as I do, how could she? She is a woman, Bella is a woman, that kind of love does not exist, and it breaks my heart to know that Alice continues to disregard the rules that bound each creature in this world together.

I sighed, running my hand through the thick bronze hair that lay in disarray, my fingertips twirling the ends of each strand as time continued to beat stress and pain through each member of my family. The same thing seemed to be stuck in everyone's head, taunting each cold unbeating heart.

Bella Swan is alive.

_Should never have left her. _

I whipped my head in the direction of the thought; a low and menacing growl breaking the deafening silence, snapping everyone's head in my direction, the owner of the thought tilted her head up, defiance clear in her eyes. Rosalie, always the one to fight back with what ever I say, growled in response her eyes narrowing as the shining gold seemed to mist up with darkness. It was like watching ink drop into water, slowly spreading into the wide volume around, twirling and spreading as it fell deeper into the depth of the eye.

Emmett stood, his large body blocking my view as he crouched down, his body tensing as his teeth snapped menacingly. Dark short cropped hair appeared by my face as his outraged face came hovering over mine, his golden eyes now a pit less dark night. Large pinkish lips snarl, curling from anger as sharp canine teeth snapped close to my neck. His jaw clenched as he stared down at me, his fists tightening as resentment and anger swarmed within his eyes, stabbing me with his sharp thoughts.

A deep rumbling echoed through my chest as I stood, my arms reaching up to attack my brother, I was about to rip one of his arms off when, simultaneously, six deep growls shattered the quite room, filling the air with poison and anger.

My anger turned to complete rage, twisting and roaring inside as the monster inside of me rumbled in betrayal as my entire family turned against me. Their golden eyes narrowed with anger as they shot whip like thoughts through my mind, my head aching with the pain of thier words, unable to shut their poisonous words out of my head.

I snarled at my family as they looked down in shame, thier thoughts wrapped around Bella Swan, thier pain entwined with the looks that she had snapped thier way. Their thoughts beating anger into me, sinking my heart as my blood boiled in rage.  
_  
__Alice would be better for her; she deserves Bella.___

I scoffed in disbelief, looking at my mother incredulously. Esme's head snapped my way in surprise, and then broke her gaze, biting her lip before glancing again to my enraged gaze; calmly telling me that _my _mate belonged to another. That Alice deserved my mate, my Bella, the thought was disgusting. Her gaze was soft, but honey eyes smoldering with defiance and love, anger swirling with the love as she desperately tried to calm me as her blood red lips parted, ready to spit out more disgusting lies. Her alabaster skin smooth as her face dropped when her large golden eyes found my enraged face, anger spewing out of me. The once warm eyes seemed to freeze with pain as she let her shoulders slump, her soft auburn hair creating a curtain around her face to shield her from my sneering face.

Everyone winced as the pain laced through our mothers eyes, her pain stabbing everyone deep into the heart, our diamond skin twitching with the pain that had shot through easily and attacked the dead organ. I just stood straighter, my shoulders squaring as my father looked at me with anger clear in his eyes, my siblings scowling as small shakes seemed to rock my mother's shoulders.

_Edward you Jackass. ___

I sneered at Rosalie, her words meaning nothing coming from her mouth. Rosalie's luscious blond locks swirled around her head as she glared at me, the gold flickering through the pitch-blackness, like shards of light in the night sky. Snow white skin, bright blonde hair that outshined the sun, dark rose petal lips; always curled into a cruel snarl, she was always my least favorite sister. Always disapproving and disregarding everything I say, she was the one that hated Bella, yet here she is acting as if she loves her, like she had a sliver of an idea of what was best for _my_ Bella. No one loves her as much as I do, because if they did they would have wanted to leave for her safety. She was in danger because we were all selfish, including her in our life, we should have never had gotten involved…she was just too tempting.

However, now that she is no longer human, I will fight to the death for the mate I sacrificed my dead heart for.

Bella is mine, they have no right to counsel me on my actions, I only meant to protect her, how was I supposed to know that thier was danger in the woods. Alice, who "loves" her, should have seen it coming; she should have told me that my Bella was in danger. My hands clenched into tight fists as a thought raged within me, my eyes turning a dark onyx. She probably knew this would happen, that Bella would turn inhuman; living forever, so Alice could have a chance with my mate. A dark rumbling growl echoed through me, my thoughts drenching in anger and hatred, my arms twitching with the desire to wring the small pixies deceiving neck.

My dead heart clenched in pain, writhing with this new discovery, twisting and wrenching as my insides burned with rage. Alice's betrayal should not be allowed, she has betrayed me and her family, and she has even betrayed Bella. If she saw this happening, she watched with satisfaction as Bella suffered, knowing that her chance was coming, and disregarding Bella's pain.

I felt a protruding calm sweep through me, relaxing my muscles as my heart's pain soothed, the knots in my stomach calmed as the peace washed over my rage and betrayal. The calm seemed to twist inside, wounding tightly around me, constricting my lungs as my emotions fought against the foreign intruder, my body rejecting the sudden calming peace that rolled over my body. My eyes snapped open to glare at the enemy, my lips snarling at him as I snapped my teeth at his surprised face. Jasper's eyebrows shot up as I growled at him, my muscles constricting and tensing, I crouched down, eyeing the man. Curly blonde hair waved around his long face, his nose sculpted, long and straight, his jaw clenching as he got in a defensive position, his eyes flashing. Sharp teeth snarled out of his lips, his lean body contorting to go into a solider fighting position, clawed fingers spread out wide as he bared his teeth.

_Edward, enough of this, I will not take this resentment towards our sister…she is your sister too, you should be respectful to how she is feeling, not enraged. What you did, ended your relationship with Bella, made her no longer yours. _

I shook with the laugh that burned in my throat, crawling out of my mouth as my eyes burned with hatred. Respect my sister for falling in love with the love of my life. Her love means nothing, it's an abomination, it's unnatural, and it's disgusting. I refuse to accept her for what she thinks she is, she is just confused, and her affection for Bella just confuses her, its not love. She will never have Bella, I will not allow that to happen, Bella will always and forever be mine. Bella loved me, she would do anything for me, her temporary anger will cause nothing but a break in our relationship, our love is too strong to die.

The rest of my siblings followed Jasper's lead, surrounding me with angry glares, and snapping teeth. Thoughts whipped through my brain, thoughts locking inside of my head, my anger building as each pair of golden eyes blackened to charcoal. My family betrays me for _her, _Alice, the little pixie. I snarled again, straightening to glare at my family.

"Edward, calm down now. We will talk about this situation we are in like civilized beings." I growled at my father, but when his golden eyes darkened, I looked down and nodded. Esme sighed in relief, her body slumping forward as her muscles relaxed out of her tight position. My siblings didn't relax, they glared at me, my heart writhing in pain as each look intensified, thier lips snarling with resentment.

They had no right.

Bella was my responsibility, they shouldn't have any say on what happens to her.

I glowered at them, my eyes hard as they stiffened and turned to sit in the family room, every pair of eyes a dark inky black. I sighed heavily, my hands running through my hair again, my emotions running widely through me. Out of control rage seemed to ignite inside of me, my body barely containing the verbal lava wanting to spray out and melt the condescending looks around me. My fingers constricted into tight fists, then released only to repeat the process. Rosalie was staring at me with great disdain in her eyes, her distressed feelings easily playing out on her face, each expression etched in a mixture of anger and pain. Our family, ripped apart, family ties shredding as the small pixie fingers slice through my heart, trying to steal what is mine.

Jaspers expression was the first to calm down, his fingers pressing against his eyelids, slowly rubbing the hostile emotions from his features. He sighed, letting a feeling of peace to fill the silence, weaving through our bodies to release our tensed muscles and calm our raging thoughts. I refused to calm down, my sister was threatening my love's feelings toward me_,_ how could this world get any more screwed up? I tensed, showing defiance at my brother's manipulative intrusion in my body, watching with a smirk as Jasper narrowed his eyes at me.

Carlisle settled down next to Esme, her body shifting so she could rest her head on Carlisle's comforting shoulder. That is how love is supposed to be, between a man and a woman. I felt a smile tugging on my lips as I watched Carlisle wrap an arm around his wife, pulling her closer to him. He is older than I, he must be feeling the same disgust I am at my sisters fake feelings, he will take my side.

"Edward, just asking, what makes you think you deserve Bella?" I snapped my head towards Rosalie's position on Emmett's lap, a husky growl rumbling in my chest as I eyed her disdainfully, my eyes darkening as she snarled at me. Emmett's thoughts immediately turned dark, gruesome fighting tactics shooting through my head as I growled at his wife. I noticed Jasper desperately trying to calm down the situation, his eyes a dark sooty color with all of the anger settling in the air between us.

"Why do you care Rosalie? You didn't give a damn about her before." Rosalie's anger immediately slacked, her eyes growing wide with hurt and pain, she looked away as she bit her lip, shame etched all over her face. "Bella probably resents you far more than me, I love her and I showed it while you glared and gave her cold looks." She opened her mouth but the shame and pain was becoming too great for her, it swirled in her eyes as it locked her lips together. Jasper shook his head, a heavy glare set on Edward.

"That's not true and you know it, Rosalie showed resentment in the beginning, but you of all people should know how much Rosalie actually cares for Bella. You read her thoughts at the time; thier is no need for false accusations." I growled under my breath at my brother. Jasper then pulled me into a memory, his mind sending the emotions of the moment through to mine; the memory seemed to drag my heart down, pulling at the dead organ.

_Bella walked side by side with Rosalie, her chestnut hair swishing close to the beautiful blonde's hair. Each strand seemed to sway gracefully from both girls, jumping to mingle and twist together before falling apart. It was simple, both girls just walking; any other person walking by would think nothing of the common action and turn thier blind eyes away. Though for me, I noticed each emotion that crashed through the girls walking in front of me, each step making the strong affection roar to life within Rosalie as she turned her head to smile lovingly down at her little sister._

_Bella's heart stuttered in her chest causing a small blush to burn on her cheeks as a shy smile pulled on her lips. She shifted closer to the blonde as Rosalie's arm entwining with the warm humans, walking towards an unknown direction. _

A heavy sigh escaped my snarled lips, my fingers rubbing the strong emotions from the memory in my head. Rosalie may care…slightly about Bella, but she has no empathy to what I am feeling, the heartbreak I felt when I left my Bella in the forest. No one in this family knows the sacrifice I had to suffer through, breaking my own heart to save Bella.

Then for Alice to think she has the _right_ to steal Bella away from me, Bella and I are mates, it is unthinkable to steal someone's mate. Though I should have known that Alice would steep down to this level, she has never sacrificed anything for someone she loves so she would not know how much I have given up to protect Bella. She is blindsided to the danger we were keeping her in, I only did what no one else could have done to protect her.

"Edward, no one expects you to just give up your feelings for Bella," Thier was a snort coming from Rosalie, and several huffs of breaths from Emmett. "We just want you to stop the hostility towards Alice, you know she can't control the way she feels." I snarled at Esme, my eyes turning to a starless night. Carlisle stiffened, sending me a warning growl as everyone else jumped up from there relaxed positions. Hostility seemed to settle heavily on everyone's shoulders as I shook with rage, my teeth grinding as I flexed my fingers.

"But you want her to be with Bella, you think she is better for her." My voice filled with venom, my eyes flashing to everyone's face, resentment starting to build inside as they turned against me. The silence answered everything, I snapped in anger, my eyes flickering to every face, settling on Carlisle, he wasn't standing up for me. "Alice doesn't love Bella! That love doesn't exist, its fake, unnatural, not to mention disgusting!" Shock and resentment seemed to flash in everyone's eyes before becoming indifferent…except Rosalie's she stood thier, her arms crossed as she glared at me. How could that love be so justified in her eyes that she would stand up for something so wrong?

"Edward, I didn't raise a son to be so ignorant, this is your siste-"

"Not any more, she stopped being my sister the moment she started having feelings for _my_ mate. Or did you forget that Bella was mine?" I growled, shifting into an aggressive position, Emmett snorted, eyeing me with distaste. Dangerous eyes seemed to corner me, following my tensed movements, watching with narrowed distaste, as anger seemed to rip at my insides, clawing with sharp nails for an escape.

Esme seemed to freeze, her body tensing as the words left my mouth, and the sweet ignorance broke as the truth revealed. This family was falling apart; the family was becoming a tense coven, sisters becoming enemies as brothers become strangers. Carlisle sighed, his eyes becoming downcast, as the rest of the family seemed to be picking sides. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle all appeared on Alice's side as I stood alone on what was right.

Carlisle stood up, his body hovering inches above my height, his eyes smoldering with anger and love, two opposites swirling together in the inky pools of his eyes. He shook his head at me, a heavy hand landing on my shoulder, his smile trying to be fatherly and calming, but the anger and distress of the situation crawled beneath his face, pulling at his smile and seething behind his eyes.

"Son, maybe you should hunt? You are too angry; you need to calm down before we continue this conversation." His words sent daggers into my anger, soothing velvet calmed my muscles as his voice filled with sympathy and compassion. My father's voice seemed to calm everyone in the room, the angry eyes turning to rich butterscotch as everyone saw through thier blinding anger. I breathed an unnecessary breath, soothing my shaking body and letting my senses take control of my body. My shoulders seemed to droop as the muscles underneath my diamond skin constricted, preparing to hunt. I nodded, leaving before anyone could answer, light steps shot me across the forest, my booted feet sending themselves deeper into the soil as my body started to relax, giving itself over to its inner beast.

My body roared in thirst as the beast came to life, growling and ripping its burning hunger through my body, sending venom through my system as fire ignited in my throat. A burning inferno raged through my body as I left the comforting words of my father, his velvety voice leaving my ears and allowing the anger to take hold of my body. Anger bubbled inside as it constricted tightly around my torso, stretching out to bite and scratch at my heart, my teeth sharpening as they snapped aimlessly into the dark night. The night breezed whispered words into my ear as I whipped across trees, searching for a meal to devour. Seeing through a world of hunger and burning thirst changes your vision, you see nothing but the upcoming pulse of life that you desperate wish to end. Thirst contorts your hearing so your ears only hear the soft thump of a beating heart, your nose sought out the delicious smell of the liquid life that would wash over your teeth to douse the burning flames within your throat.

A heavy beat filled my head, calling my deprived hunger to the soft musical thump of a heart. Fingernails dug deeply into wood as I pushed against the rough trees in my way, sending me closer to the thunderous beating heart. My eyes found the creature, a lone deer, grazing lazily on the grass as it found oblivion comforting, ignoring the warning that drones on in any living creature as we step closer to our prey. A whiff of blood caught my nose, sending my ravenous body in a hurry, roaring in delight as the prey continued to grow closer. I hunched closer, my lips snarling as they made contact with the soft fur on the neck, the wild pulse drowning out any other sound as my teeth made contact. Rich blood seeped into my mouth, calming the beast as it lapped up the musical blood, life draining away and leaking into me. The deer struggled in my grasp, my fingers tightening around its body as I ripped further into its neck.

At last, the deer's life came to a stop, the pulse faltering then dieing as its heart failed. I jumped up from my position on the damp floor, my fingers grazing the silky grass, now wet with the excess blood; the carcass lay forgotten as I stepped away. A smell filled my nose as I snapped my head upward, my eyes catching a frightened animal. The animal was enormous; the heart's music sounded disgusting to my predatory smell. The wolf creature cocked its head to the side, large hazel eyes scanning my prey, then myself. Fear seemed to strike the wolf heart as its glossy white fur bristled, sharp teeth snarled from its snout. Low growls erupted from its chest, the large creature shifting to crouch down, snapping its teeth in my direction, his large eyes glued to the twisted carcass on the floor. I jumped forward, a roar rumbling out of my chest as it echoed through the forest. The threatening growls died in the wolfs glistening white chest as its eyes widened with fear, its pallid fur, once bristled now lay limp to its large body.

I smirked as the wolf backed away slowly, snarling at it before it dashed away in a cover of trees.

My body, now relaxed with the blood, prowled toward the house, confidence filling within me, my dead heart filling with determination.

My family will understand they must; Bella is and always will be mine. A small insignificant pixie will not take what is rightfully mine away from me. I nodded, determined, a smile pulling on my lips as I stepped inside of the house with my head high, a satisfied smirk plastered on my face.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch; Emmett snarled at me but sat down next to his wife. Jasper provided no comfort, but stood with an emotionless mask, indifference clear in his eyes, Carlisle sat next to his wife, his face kind but showing nothing more than that single emotion. Esme did not look up from her hands, her eyes hard with harsh emotions, her lips tight as her thoughts consumed with cooking recipes, keeping me out.

"Bella is mine." I felt the returning anger, confidence draining out of my body as each mind turned away from me. "You have no right to side with Alice, I was the one who cared and loved her." Rosalie shook her head causing a deep growl to emanate out of my chest. Carlisle sighed, filled with exhaustion, his face becoming weary. Esme was the one to surprise me, her memory dragging me under.

"_Edward! Would you like to cook with me?" Edward turned his gaze from his piano. His fingertips lingering above the smooth keys, he cocked his head to the side, smiling sweetly at Bella. The brunette smiled, her eyes lighting up with hope as he stood from the onyx piano, gracefully sweeping to her side. Bella looked up to smile at me. Her face lit up with joy, a bright smile on her face as she turned from me. Carefully she grabbed a knife, preparing to cut vegetables into thin slices, oblivious to the obvious tense atmosphere emanating off Edward. His golden eyes seemed to narrow at Bella as she grabbed the knife. Immediately the knife was out of the soft creamy hands of my daughter and into the iron grasp of Edwards. He was glowering above me, shaking his head at Bella._

"_Bella, you could have cut yourself, you can't handle large knives like these." Bella opened her mouth but Edward refused to listen. He dragged her off, pulling her away from the kitchen and placing her softly on the couch. He then turned to me, his eyes dark and dangerous. Lightly he pushed me away from the kitchen to a separate area, his hands running frantically through his hair. _

"_Esme, how could you allow her to cook, she could have hurt herself. Jasper is in this house you know, what if he lost control!" I opened my mouth to answer but Edward just shook his head, bronze hair dancing across his lean face, covering his butterscotch eyes as he snarled. He stalked off, ready to take Bella home, but before he could step closer, I dashed off to the kitchen. My eyes widened at the sight before my eyes, my dead heart warming at the sight of pure joy and happiness seemed to glow through the area. _

_Bella stood in the kitchen, carefully cutting vegetables with the same knife, a bright smile still glued to her face as Alice leaned back into the soft human when Bella placed her chin on her shoulder. Her short pixie hair tickling the human's cheek as Alice cut vegetables with her human, both reflecting off each other's bright smiles. They talked casually, Alice leaning against the taller frame of Bella as they made her dinner. Both glowed in happiness as the sun danced through the room, making the bright room shine with diamonds. _

"Alice loves Bella, and although Bella may not realize it, she loves Alice as well. You, Edward, love her but you are not what Bella needs. She needs someone who would do anything for her, but always for her happiness, even if it was slightly dangerous." I shook my head, my body shaking with rage as my burning emotions tore my head to pieces, leaving only anger to run through me. How dare Esme, how could she possibly say that Bella was happier in _Alice's _arms. The very thought brought venom in my mouth, making my tongue burn with its poison.

I opened my mouth but a sound echoed through my mind. It was far away, but it thundered around our house freezing every body in the room with its pain-laced roar. Nearly a second passed before the sound thundered around our house once more, Esme's eyes growing wide as we dashed outside, busting the door open and dashing across the silky grass. The sight we saw froze every muscle in my body, venom burning in my mouth as anger pounded through me.

Alice, lay broken on top of Bella, her ivory hands wound tightly around the large tiger. Bella collapsed on the ground as Carslie grabbed Alice from Bella's back, shooting the writhing pixie back to the house. Bella, beautiful in the beast she wore, roared in pain, blood dripping from the gaping wounds found all over her body. The tiger form Bella was now was enormous, twice the size of the large wolf I found in the forest, thick fur cut and ripped from her back as blood made pools in the grass. Emmett roared in pain, his eyes black with rage as he scanned the bleeding wounds in Bella. She whimpered in pain, her paws stretching out, and large inky claws extending as every breath she took ended with fierce growls. Esme cried out in pain as she collapsed next to the tiger, bringing the large head on her lap, stroking the glossy orange and black fur, her lips leaving feather light kisses on her forehead. Bella let out a tormented sigh, closing the bright electric eyes filled with pain with flashes of content swirling along with the pain and anger.

"Who did this to you!" Emmett roared, his eyes wide with anger and pain as his thoughts wrapped around his wounded sister. Growls echoed off her chest as Rosalie's eyes scanned the thick forest, her entire frame shaking with anger and pain. Bella winced at the roaring voice, making the big bear to drop his anger as pain and fear laced through his eyes. His face contorted in pain as he stared at the blood in the grass. Esme cried dry shaking sobs on Bella's head, her arms tightly wrapped around her neck. Bella's neck seemed to have been ripped into, fur and muscles were twisted away from the bone as skin seemed to peel away from her neck, blood poured without an end into the blood-filled ground. Her weak heartbeat called a musical song to my beast, yet no thirst protruded from my monster, instead it seemed to call in a different way, the monster sobered up at the pain Bella was in.

Rosalie cried out, her body falling limp next to the large tiger beast, her arms wrapping around the furry torso of Bella, her fingers brushing the silky soft fur. Emmett winced as Bella's breathing became filled with pain, and audible crack sounding off in one of Bella's ribs. He kneeled down to the furry beast, his heavy hands wrapped firmly around her waist. He jerked her upwards, her head still encased in Esme's sobbing embrace. I growled at my mother, making her move, trying to take her place next to Bella's head. Esme's roar filled the air, shocking no one except for me, my head snapped up in surprise as everyone just moved to help Bella move. My mother returned to her position by Bella's head, stroking her head lovingly, an arm wrapped possessively around her neck as she helped her move towards our mansion.

We moved carefully, hearing the loud whimpers of both Bella and Alice, the pixies diamond skin ripped away at her waist. Bella limped as we pulled her up to the stairs, I tried to push her in my room, away from the wailing pixie, but after several loud guttural roars coming from Alice, we moved Bella near Alice. I watched as Bella limped with heavy paws towards Alice. Her head low as each paw carefully stepped on the smooth wood underneath her, growls coming from the tiger with each step. Bella hopped on the soft flesh of the bed, her claws digging into Alice's bed, the covers lay askew as the pixie winced in pain. After a pain filled moan, the tiger collapsed on the bed, her body turning to lie on her side. The slender fingers of the pixie reached towards Bella, crying out in pain as each movement sent pain through her body, her dark eyes wide with the unbearable pain shaking through her. Yet she still struggled to touch Bella, eliciting a growl from me, no one paid attention. Thier eyes were glued to Bella as a heavy sigh fell from the large tiger's mouth, her back arching as her body twisted so she could meet Alice's hand with her head, kneading Alice with her paws with reassuring strokes.

Alice stopped struggling, falling towards Bella, wrapping tight arms around her as Carlisle grabbed blood from his room. Everyone surrounded Bella, placing hands on her blood-coated fur, stroking the thick glossy fur with loving care. I stepped in, placing a hand on Bella's side, ignoring the growl coming from Alice as she snuggled closer to Bella's warm body.

Carlisle appeared then, his face hidden in an emotionless mask as he grabbed Alice's face in his hands. She growled at him, her eyes smoldering with an unrecognizing glaze filled with pain, unable to see from the blinding pain within. Her fingers drove into Bella's fur, tightening her hold as she growled, unable to recognize her father through the blinding pain. Esme then appeared by her side, embracing the pixie, silencing her writhing body with calming words, soothing the tight muscles underneath her skin.

Finally, blood was slashed open, making Alice's eyes widen, focusing on the blood bag in her father's hands. Blood poured down her burning throat, her black eyes slowly turning amber, then to the warm butterscotch as the blood was drained. Diamond hard skin grew from the jagged wounds, rebuilding her ripped waist. Alice sighed against Bella's form as the pain slowly stopped, her body repaired and renewed.

I looked away, my eyes finding Bella's broken form, her head lying heavily on the pillow next to Alice, her body twisted as muscles and skin was ripped from the gaping hole in her belly. Gruesome red painted the floors and sheets with the gore and blood from Bella. My hand reached out, stroking the soft fur, watching as Bella seemed drift into a heavy slumber. I kneeled down close to her head, stroking her forehead softly only to be interrupted by a harsh growl. My eyes snapped upward, looking through the haze in my eyes at Rosalie, her eyes narrowing at me, and then dancing off toward Alice's direction. The pixie's honey eyes grew somber as she found a hurt Bella next to her. Alice's arms wound around Bella's torso as she snuggled closer, kissing the fur next to her, ignoring my rumbling growl.

I shot up to grab Alice but iron like hands wrapped around my waist, sending me into a wall. My head made a thunderous sound as it cracked into the wall; a warning growl sounding off in the air before the bear like brother turned his back on me. Anger sliced through my body, igniting a ferocious growl to roll off my tongue and into the silent air. My body lurched up to fight my attacker, only to grow limp with the heartbreaking whimper that broke through Bella's tiger lips.

"Why isn't she healing?" Esme's voice filled with worry and confusion, as she looked down at her daughter, unable to help her. She jumped up on the bed, moving Bella's head to rest on her lap, rubbing her fingers across the finely cut skin on her nose, her thumb caressing her cut furry cheekbone. Carlisle shook his head, his fingers rubbing his forehead, as if rubbing his head would release the stress from his mind and Bella would jump up healthy with a lightning smile on her face.

"The thing is, is that Bella is healing, her body is slowly sowing itself together, her body just doesn't have enough energy to heal…quickly…enough…" He swallowed and didn't continue his eyes filled with pain and worry, a feeling of helplessness seemed to wash over then entire family, clinging to every body, weighing everyone down.

"Its just not fast enough." I whispered quietly and Carlisle nodded wearily, his lips turned down in a gruesome grimace at the seemingly inevitable. Alice shot up, her eyes wide with pain, but her face was set in fierce determination.

"Bella is not going to die, she just saved me from the werewolves, I would have died…" She shook her head, guilt clear in her eyes, remorse carved into her face as she stared down at Bella. "Carlisle can't you…sow her up or something?" We all snapped our heads in hope towards our father, only for every hope to crush as he shook his head. Pain griped my heart without mercy, tightening its hold every few seconds. Alice's eyes filled with mist, unable to cry but the pain still bringing tears to her eyes.

"Maybe I could if she turned into her human form…but…I…" He just shook his head, running a hand through his blonde hair, frustration and desperation scratching at everyone's heart. I snarled, shaking my head and turning to Alice, the one who started this all. I growled, pointing a finger at her delicate pixie face.

"This is your fault; Bella shouldn't have tried to save you." The words filled with venom, lashing out at Alice as she bowed her head in defeat, accepting the responsibility. I turned to everyone else, hoping for my family to finally see how bad Alice is for Bella, she can't even protect her. "You are all ready to choose Alice's side, but I would have been able to protect Bella from any attacks that would have caused this." I pointed a hand down at the bloody gashes on my loves side, anger started to come to life inside of me.

I expected doubt to flicker in thier eyes, or for some sort of agreement, instead I got vicious looks from every eye, the black charcoal pairs of eyes glared down at me, lips snarling. A light wind chimed voice interrupted me before I could try to speak reason.

"Edward, Bella is dying and you're trying to prove to our family that you're her better mate!" She growled; her raven hair shook with the ferocity of her growl. Then her eyes dropped, pain leaking from her expression as she watched Bella sleep, a look of pure heartbreak on her face. "Anyway, she doesn't want either one of us, she has _Sean_." She said the name with venom as every eyebrow shot up in surprise, Rosalie appearing right at Alice's side wrapping an arm around her waist as they both stared down at Bella. Alice's gaze didn't move from Bella's position on her bed, watching with desperation as her heartbeat slowly started to decelerate.

I turned to look out the sky, watching as the sky turned from a dark grey to a light blue, the suns rays starting to reach the Earth, barely reaching the tree's leaves.

I am going to kill Sean, I don't know whom he is, I don't care, he doesn't deserve my Bella, he is going to die.

I turned to leave the crowded room, my heart in a state of misery with the pain of loosing my one true love, when gasps filled the air. I snapped my head in my family's direction as they watched with absolute shock and fascination as the sun beat down on Bella.

The sun touched Bella's blood coated fur, immediately relieving her of the dark gashes on her skin, the tissue just sowing themselves together at the suns touch. Her hearts rhythm grew stronger as the large wounds started to mend, the blood drying as the gashes disappeared. Bella let out a sigh, a release of breath, as the pain seemed to disappear from her body, fur slowly disappearing as her bones cracked and reformed, shaping the true Bella. Her sun tattoo seemed to glow, brightening for a split second before retreating to a smaller size, the bright glow dimming back to the inky black. Everyone stared with thier mouths touching the ground as Bella yawned, stretched then curled into a circle, a small smile on her lips. Cuts, broken bones, gashes, and ripped skin just disappeared right when the sun brushed across her skin. Bella had returned to her beautiful self, pale delicate cheekbones, rosebud lips parted into a small smile, her eyes fluttering in sleep as her dark hair fell away from her face, silky locks rolled away down to her smooth bare back.

Everything was silent for several painful seconds before Alice started to laugh, breaking into hysterics. We all watched cautiously as she laughed, the light laughter filling the silent room until she then started breaking into broken sobs, releasing her frozen body so she could wrap her body around the naked Bella. I growled immediately, watching as Alice snuggled her head under Bella's head, constricting her arms around my mate. Bella smiled, wrapping her own arms around the cold-hearted pixie, pressing her warm body against the evil pixie, who smiled, her eyes fluttering. Bella smiled in her sleep, her arms tightening around Alice, pulling her closer so she could cuddle her. I watched in utter disgust as Alice looked up at Bella, her face holding absolute love and adoration as her hand reached out too gently stroke Bella's cheek, who released a deep purr, nuzzling her head deeper into Alice's shoulder.

Rosalie wrapped a blanket around Bella's body, unable to rip her arms off Alice, who seemed glued to her side. My insides seemed to burn and churn in disgust at Alice's pathetic way to be with Bella.

_My Bella…my sweet, adoring, beautiful Bella._

I stood up, my face hard with hate as Alice continued to think adoring thoughts about _MY_ Bella. I dodged Emmett's hard hands, grabbing Alice's shirt, watching with a sense of pleasure as Alice looked up at me with fearful shock as I attempted to pull her away from Bella. I ripped my mate's arms off Alice's torso when a loud guttural roar reverberated off the walls. It froze my entire body with the fierce determination in it, the anger and hatred that laced through the familiar voice. I looked down, shocked to see Bella, still sleeping as her arms searched the empty bed, the guttural roar becoming angrier as the seconds ticked by.

"Eddie, you should probably release Alice, Bella may rip you to shreds." Emmett's voice filled with amusement as the roar became broken with more snarls and growls, my fingers relaxed out of my command, letting Alice drop lightly down on the bed. Instantly Bella's arms wound around the cool body, bringing her closer as the roar died in her throat. All anger disappeared from her features as Alice fit closely to her. Bella sighed in relief, mumbling soft words in her sleep.

"…perfect…smells so good…hmm…cool…humph." Heavy purring drowned out any other words that she could have said. Alice giggled, her eyes bright with amusement, Esme joined in with the laughter, and then eventually everyone had joined in as I seethed in anger to the side. Bella was mine…and forever will be.

I was about to speak when a loud bark sounded off in our back yard, making Alice gasp, her eyes growing wide as her arms tightened around Bella, hiding her head under Bella's chin. Thier was barking then a loud huff as the object jumped and attempted to climb to the window. We noticed scruffy white fur before the wolf fell down with a loud _thump, _and then a weak whimper. Esme's face became worried as she looked out the window, her eyes finding a lean boy, dark wavy hair covering large hazel eyes as he looked up at us, a large sheepish grin on his face. We heard from the bed a sigh of discontent from Alice.

"We'll, there's Sean."

My body froze with hate before I smiled, looking down at the weak boy at the floor. He smiled and waved, yelling from the ground to come up, his large white teeth shone in the sun as his grin took half his face.

**Once again, horrid ending, I have no idea how to cut these things off. **

**I am sorry if this chapter was boring, mainly I used this chapter to show the relationship between Edward and his family, to show thier family slowly being ripped apart. How Edward feels betrayed by his family and more specifically at his favorite sister. He starts to have anger directed at little Alice, and you know Bella wont stand for that. Awe, true love. ;)**

**Please, Read and Review**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Omg that took SOOO long to write. Fist thing I had a two-week vacation, then had to redo this ENTIRE chapter THREE freaking times just because my writing was crap! Ugh, it was so stressful that I got a headache just thinking about writing. Anyway, so after a few days I felt bad and started again. All for you people, I just love all of the reviews, even the critics and even all of you silent readers. Love you all! **_

_**Oh and thank you sooo much for the person who told me that **__**thier**__** is indeed **__**their**__**. I truthfully had no idea, so thank you, I really appreciate it, anyone who has hints or any grammar issues with my writing please say it aloud, anything that would help me along the way is always appreciated.**___

_Hmm, so delicious. _

I nuzzled my head farther into the soft pillow, breathing in deeply to engrave the beautiful unique smell in my brain. My arms stretched, clawing through the silky sheets that entwined around my body, each cool sheet containing the beautiful enchanting aroma, each breath coming out as a deep purr as the fragrance wrapped around me securely. My lungs expanded, desperate to fill my entire body in the hypnotizing smell, my fingers grasping the sheets, kneading them repeatedly. Something about this smell was so familiar yet foreign, bringing new feelings out of me as the aroma became more familiar to my nose. I let out a moan as I took another breath, nuzzling my head deeper into the sweet fragrance. My fingernails sharpened, digging into the soft flesh of the mattress I rested lazily upon. Each breath caused a light shiver to crawl down my spin as the aroma danced on my tongue. The intricate smell swam in my head, invading my mind and restrained my beast, the once ferocious beast now tame as a kitten with the aroma embracing my body.

With each longing breath, I felt my head mist with a heavy daze that fogged my mind, winding through my body and twining with each twitching muscle. My lungs constricted and collapsed, unable to stay in its locked position to force the beautiful air within its prison. With this small release of breath, my hair brushed lightly against my skin, damp with unknown moist, stirring the smell once more. The smell twined with many impossible smells, tangy and fruity yet rich with a sweet aroma from flowers, light and delicate, yet rich and heavy. Delicious, pure and unique, no other smell could possibly challenge the beauty and intricate smell of this aroma.

The rich aroma stabbed a memory into my mind, clearing my dizzy mind with a single face. A beautiful pixie girl stared at me within the mist, her golden eyes glowing with bright emotions, her smile small with adorable dimples on each cheek. Her glossy midnight hair danced across her eyes as her ivory skin twitched with her smile that grew into a lopsided grin, rich with passion and sweet affection. My heart started to beat like a hammer, jumping as recognition spiked my heart.

_Alice, my Alice. Mine, all mine. _

My fingertips burned with the memory of smooth marble, cold and sweet, the same enchanting smell wrapped around me as light, calming touches danced across my body. My eyelids jumped open to search for the body to hold onto, my arms yearning to hold the source of my affection. As my eyes fought off the bright light that streamed through the window, leaking through the glass to rest heavily on my bare skin my fingertips sought out the small pixie. As my vision cleared my heart shattered, a sharp blade cut through my ribs to eat at my beating heart. The bed contained nothing but my empty arms, my fingertips twitching with desire as my body ached with pain.

My heart struggled to fight off the sudden depression that invaded my body, gagging my fluttering heart as it drowned in my heavy thoughts. My eyes followed each curve of the bed, hoping to find a giggling Alice hiding under the sheets ready to pounce out and laugh with delight. Tinkling laughter taunted my mind as silence surrounded me, my mind searching for something that will not appear. A escaped my lips as I shifted uncomfortably on the bed as my heart stuttered sadly in my chest, each second caused my heart to rattle in its bone cages, hoping to escape. My beast growled in my chest, yearning to search for the small pixie.

My eyes clenched tighter, fighting off the desperation and depression that always seemed to shadow my actions, following my every move. My fingertips brushed my soft hair out of my face as I twisted my back to lift my body upwards, my hands on either side of my waist as I pulled my self into a sitting position. I rolled my shoulders, tilting my neck until a sight made my heart stop, my head startled at the sight glaring into my eyes.

Blood painted the sheets around me, each pearly sheet twisted around my legs as the blood made a crimson halo around my body, my hair thick with horror and gore. My eyes shot down to my fingernails, coated with fur and blood, my teeth thickly coated with a sharp metallic taste, dripping heavily down my throat. I swallowed, hoping to rid my tongue of the harsh taste that coated my mouth, lingering on each inch of my body, lasting in every breath. The feelings of desire and longing left my body as horror crashed down heavily on me, crushing my heart with the possibilities of my situation. I scanned each inch of my body, expecting to feel great pain and torment, but found nothing but smooth creamy skin. I lay in a puddle of blood, unmarked yet coated with blood and pieces of fur. My head started to spin, searching for a reason for my position, my body now constricting and knotting as my mind reeled.

I groaned, my head finding the memory that answered my question, matching the blood and horror that coated my body.

_Teeth slashed into fur as skin broke away from the muscle; a low growl rumbled in my chest as my eyes flashed to the wolves face, my nails striped them of their fur and skin. ___

I gagged, horror washing over me as I realized whose blood this belonged to, whose fur was stuck under my fingernails. My beast didn't shiver, lingering anger still whirling around my beast as the memory continued, causing my stomach to drop as my heart clenched in pain.

_A short pixie woman screamed in pain as a large onyx wolf jumped on her shivering body, his gleaming teeth sinking into her pale skin. A loud crack sounded the night as her marble skin ripped away from her body, her waist torn and ripped. ___

A deep growl echoed through the small room, my beast roaring in my chest as my eyes flashed in anger.

How dare they hurt _my _Alice.

The pain and horror for what I have done left my body as anger roared inside, judgment was passed down to the worthless wolves.

_They got what they deserved._

I took a deep breath, allowing Alice's sweet fragrance to calm my shaking body, taming my beast once more. Each breath became less ragged as her aroma surrounded me, calming each muscle. The anger slowly disappeared, evaporating from my body as my fingertips brushed the cool sheets entwining around my bare body. I opened my eyes once my beast had settled in my chest, letting my body relax as my eyes studied the familiar room. Walls corner me, each wall painted a soft ocean blue, the entire room seemed to scream Alice. Her bubbly personality was captured entirely in her room, paintings of beauty and pain spread through the light blue as cds stack neatly against the wall. Her large bay window opens the room to the light that barely escapes the clouds in Forks. Yet this very day lives the light that sang through her room, covering each inch with a ray of light and joy.

My eyes stopped at a small sketchpad, the cover used and worn as its pages lay beneath its shield, waiting patiently to be opened and reviewed. A wide smile pulled on my lips as I slowly crawled to the edge of the soft bed, carefully reaching a hand out to the sketches hidden under their cover. Hesitantly, my fingertips brushed against the rough surface, grasping at its edges and lightly lifting the cover to reveal the art that lay hidden.

Instantly my heart stopped at the beauty and wonder of her drawing. Perfectly shaded and put in fascinating detail, was Esme, her face lit up with joy as she smiled. The emotion lay frozen forever on the page, forever swirling in her golden shaded in eyes. I gasped again, as I looked through each page shamelessly, staring at each face of the Cullen family. I smiled at each adoring feature, captured in the moment and sketched with intricate beauty and skill, now frozen on paper.

I flipped to the last page, a strangled gasp coming from my throat as my own face appeared in the mix, soft and delicate details as my chocolate eyes shine with loving emotions. My human face stared up at me from the paper, charcoal smeared in my hair, making my hair look shiny and wild as it swayed in the invisible wind, the breeze lost in the black and white of the paper. Written elegantly on the bottom of the page were several words, making my heart stop beating with the pain and affection that intruded in on my unexpected heart

_forever and for Always: my sweet Bella __  
_  
A smile tugged on my lips as I stared at the words, silently enjoying the softness and warmth that pooled in my chest. My eyes ran over the elegant writing rapidly. My sweet Alice. A deep purr echoed off my chest as my fingertips traced each word, burning with the desire to reach out and hold the small pixie woman, to pull her close and never let go, to run my fingertips across her silky raven hair and lay a soft kiss on her lips.

I froze as my body clenched in surprise, my beast purred in delight with the thought, urging me farther as my human brain stayed locked with the surprising thought that intruded my mind. I placed the sketchpad down on the desk near the bed, my mind lost in a dazed frenzy, each thought swirling around the desire to hold Alice.

My mind seemed to click, each thought that had entered my mind before came barging into my mind now, clouding my brain with memories and thoughts that had flashed across my mind when I was either human or a tiger.  
_  
__Beautiful smile, loving eyes, silky hair that you always wished to brush your fingertips across the alluring softness. You always thought she was beautiful, always wanting your hugs to last longer than they really were. When you saw her hurt, you saw nothing else, just the fact that she was in pain. _

A heavy suspicion spread from my heart and leaked into my muscles, twitching each inch of my body as a realization started to form in my brain. My beast didn't seem surprised at all, not bothered in the least with the coming turn of my mind. I shivered, my shoulders shaking before falling, my mind excepting something that I had pushed away for a long time.

I closed my eyes, my fingertips rubbing at my eyelids, trying to wipe away the dirt and grime now plastered on my face. I felt weak, my shoulders shaking slightly as the now obvious became clear in my mind. Why my heart ached and twisted at the very thought of Alice's name when she left. Why whenever she touched me I felt shivers crawl up my spine at the pleasure of her simplest touch. I sighed, shaking my head at my forced oblivion, maybe I have known for a long time. The knowledge building inside with every touch or look, every time she glanced at me, inside a part of me acknowledged my reaction and hid it away. My heart constricted tightly as another thought wound around my brain.

It's not like it matters, Alice would never be mine.

A shot of pain spiked my heart as I thought this. It's true, Alice would never want to be with me, I would always be a sister to her, a best friend.

I shook my head, my mind in pain as my muscles clenched in pain, numbly I moved from the bed. My legs stretched and moved as my body remained painted with blood and coated with the death of many. I winced, my mind reeling away from the pain of never being Alice's, to forever wanting something that could never be mine. I didn't need these thoughts, just useless wanting that has followed me for twelve painful years. Locking away my feelings, I numbly removed myself from Alice's room, walking stiffly down the narrow hallway to the bathroom. My fingertips grasped the cool knob, opening the pearly white door to reveal the wondrous room that would release me of my thoughts.

The bathroom had a heavenly appearance, pearl white tiles lined the floor as a large bathtub laid waiting for me, the walls painted with beauty and perfect detailed. The walls showed heavy clouds, filled with sorrow and darkness, waiting to be released from its duty while the sun streaks though others. The clouds shine like colors of cream, painted and shaded with perfection soft and delicate while others are harsh and threatening. I slowly made my way to the large pearl like bathtub, my fingertips grasping the cold knob, turning it to fill the tub with glass like water, as cold as ice.

The water was smooth and cool, washing over my heated body, releasing my body from its harsh torture, licking at my creamy skin. The cold temperature was comforting and calming, clear as glass as it wound around my body. Unfortunately, my thoughts returned, capturing my once calm mind with thoughts of Alice, comparing the smooth water with the smooth cold arms of Alice, leaving my body once more in pain and desperation. The glass like water became clouded with blood, releasing my body from its horror. Slowly I sank down in the water, letting my fingertips massage my scalp, releasing my hair from the blood and knots that had wound my hair into clumps. A small smile took my lips as I sighed in peace, relaxing and closing my eyes briefly.

_Silky hair brushed against my skin as she looked up at me, her eyes wide with amusement, and her grin growing larger as she cocked her head to the side. Her lips grew into a lopsided grin, lazy and soft, the affection still clear in her eyes as she looked at me from the couch, my arm casually wrapped around her shoulder. She closed her gorgeous golden eyes, a light purr sounding off in her chest as she nuzzled closer to me. My heart started to beat faster as my fingers burned to brush against her dimpled cheeks. ___

Startled from the sudden memory, my body jerked, water breaking away from me and flying out of the tub as my body jumped into a standing position. My heart still hammered in my chest from the emotion that had raged inside of me at the unexpected memory.

Water dripped from my hair, falling into the bloodied water, rolling down my skin to fall, making a small ripple. Each drop making a small ripple connecting with each other as my body shook off the water. My head shaking from side to side, desperate to escape the cool water that calms my body. With shaking fingers I grasped the soft towel in the cupboard, drying my body down, relieved that the death and blood had been washed off my skin.

Hesitantly I walked away from the bathtub, my body hiding from under the white towel, my hair damp and silky against my moist skin. A light breath fell from my lips as I re-entered Alice's room, memories of Alice pulling me away to play Bella Barbie, or just lying on the bed to rest next to each other holding tightly to one another surrounded my mind with every second I stared at the empty room. Ghosts of my memories taunted me with what it has been trying to tell me for years.

I refuse to accept it, it's not like Alice would ever return my feelings. So why feel something unrequited, it only brings pain and heartbreak, its better to just forget, to just live in ignorance.

I made my way to Alice's second room: her closet. A slight shiver shot up my spine as I walked through, wincing slightly as piles of clothes lay in perfect organization in front of me. I looked through each pair of clothes, desperate to find _something_ that could possibly fit me. My hand shot out to brush the silky material, rough jeans and smooth skirts, soft cloth brushed against my palm as my eyes searched for something familiar. Then another smell mingled with Alice's enchanting smell, it was older and smelled faint, yet familiar. I dug farther down into Alice's closet, my fingers digging through an impossible amount of dresses and blouses. The smell grew stronger, a comfortable smell, nothing extravagant as Alice's but it was softer and quite, slowly fighting its way to my nose. When my fingers brushed against the object of the smell, my entire body froze as I looked at the familiar outfit.

Old torn jean shorts stared up at me, its soft blue mixed well with the white cut off ends. A dark blue blouse lay folded and faintly familiar under the jean shorts, its black detail of roses and black painted flowers flowed easily with the dark blue. I stared with increasing apprehension of what these seemingly meaningless clothes meant to me. They were mine when I was human.

My heart swelled, swarming with warmth as I stared down at the simple clothes. I came to the house wearing them, but forgot to take them with me the next morning.

Why did Alice keep these? For someone who is obsessed with clothes and can never wear the same out fit twice, keeping my old torn clothes seems a bit out of her personality. A silly grin grew on my lips as my fingertips brushed the clothing, grabbing the silky material and pulling it over my head. Then tugged on the jeans, pulling it up easily to my waist, buttoning the old material together.

Fitting nicely into my clothes I jumped up, my arms twitching for a stretch as my back yearned to twist and stretch to its fullest length. Lightly I fell to the floor, placing my hands on the floor and stretching them farthest away from me as my knees stayed on the floor. I yawned lightly, shaking my moist hair out of my face, the small droplets of water danced away from my hair, landing quietly on the floor.

A deep purr rounded off my chest as I rolled away from my stretching, trotting easily away from the closet and into the warmth of the sun. The sun leaked into the room, filling the light blue canvas with a bright glow, small glimmers of silver and gold speckled in my eyes as the sun rested on the metal. Immediately I pounced on the small silver gleaming metal, my purring getting louder as the shiny object was captured in my hands.

It was a picture of the entire Cullen family, each face smiling brightly and happily, their golden eyes alight with joy and pride. I smiled at the picture, ignoring the slight tremor of my heart as I saw each face, my mind flickering to a slight state of panic.

Twelve long years and I suddenly appear once more into their lives, pain and torment dripped with each memory of my long years alone. Am I ready to just face them once more? Alice did explain their reason for leaving me, that they didn't want to leave, and that they were going to come back for me. It makes since, and it's the preferable choice of my options, but twelve years have haunted me because of Edward's decision to "protect me".

Though blaming them for my pain doesn't help anyone.

I rested my head on my palm, a thought shooting past my mind making my heart stutter as my eyes shot open.

Where are the Cullen's? Wouldn't they have been in the room with me? I jumped up from my sitting position, my heart hammering in my chest as I trotted past Alice's door trying to keep calm. The hallway led me to a spiral staircase, each step a cool polished wood that led me to their family room, entirely empty. The soft couch lay empty as the piano stared up at me with no one playing on it. My slight state of panic became a roaring fire of fear.

I trotted quickly down the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest as I skipped down the stairs. My bare feet slid across the polished ground, only to knock into a cold statue, the body twisting to catch me as I fell. Small arms wrapped around me as I fell, tripping and knocking the cold statue down with me. My head snapped up to look at the damage I had caused, only to find myself inches away from rosebud lips. My cheek rested against cold ivory skin, her chest falling and shaking as I rested on top of the poor unexpecting pixie. Silky midnight hair tickled my cheek as I looked down at Alice, her golden eyes blinking rapidly up at me.

I studied the beautiful pixie girl as a cool breath of relief washed over my body, calming my roaring beast. I took a deep breath of Alice's natural scent, sending shivers to crawl up my spine and rest on my heart. The fear that had roared in my body deflated, leaving me somewhat exhausted. My muscles relaxed at seeing Alice, her body intact, her smooth marble skin unmarked by teeth that had ripped her skin hours prior.

A small sigh of relief fell from my lips as I looked down at her. Her golden eyes shimmered with joy as she looked up at me, a bright smile on her lips.

I cocked my head to the side, my fingertips brushing up Alice's shirt to reveal unmarked skin, smooth and flawless. Alice's unnecessary breathing broke as I noticed her small shoulders shivering slightly. My fingertips ghosted over her skin before collapsing on top of Alice once more, a weak growl breaking in my throat as relief washed over me. I felt her light giggle vibrate against me as her cool breath brushed against my ear. A deep purr broke through as I nuzzled against her. My arms wound around the small pixie, bringing her closer to me, my arms constricting around her as my head nuzzled into her neck, a deep purr rumbling out of my chest.

"Bella?" Are you okay?" I nodded weakly as I felt cool hands massage my scalp and running their cool fingers down my hair rubbing me softly on the back. I lifted my head to smile at the small pixie girl, watching as her eyes slowly became sorrowful, the melting gold swimming with misery as her dark aurora swallowed her once more. Her expression died on her face as the emotion in her smile became forced, the shining twinkle in her eyes evaporated before me. My heart twisted in pain, but before I could ask what was wrong, warm arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me upwards and into a strong embrace.

"Bella! Your okay!" Two burning arms crushed me against their hard chest, their loud heart thumping in my ear as my head rested on their chest. Sun kissed skin emanated strong waves of heat across my face as I leaned into the warmth, my arms wrapping around the familiar model of a boy. His bare chest fanned warmth across my face as his rough jeans scratched across my legs, his smell mingling with the different aroma of his jeans. His dark wavy hair fell in his face as I stared up into his warm hazel eyes, brimming with happiness as he grinned at me. Shinny white teeth flashed in my face as the boy's lean features etched into a larger grin. Muscles pushed against me, crushing me in the bone-crushing hug. I returned his smile, letting my headrest on his chest, my head nuzzling into him slightly. I heard a small whimper from behind me, Alice's voice breaking with misery as it escaped her lips. I twitched my head to look at her but her pixie face looked away, a tight smile on her face as her eyes screamed misery. A warm cheek was pressed against my neck and I turned my head to see Sean leaning his head onto my neck, his arms tightening as he pulled me closer. I pulled my hands up to brush his inky hair out of his face, ruffling it lovingly as he refused to let me go.

A dark rumbling echoed out of a deep voice, his body contorting in anger as Sean shivered in our embrace, his head twitching to look over his shoulder at Edward. Edward, his shiny bronze hair lay in disarray on his head, strands of copper defying the rules of gravity as bristles. Sharp teeth slash out into a snarl, his pallid face stretched into a snarl as his eyes flashed dangerously while fingernails clenched into fists. Black pit less eyes bore holes into Sean's back, making my wolf boy shiver.

I felt my body stiffen, my muscles contorting in anger as Sean shivered from the harsh glare of Edward, his snarls growing in volume, his eyes slashing knives into his back. A growl formed in my mouth as my eyes flashed, everything increasing in volume and color as I crawled over Sean, slipping down his back to snarl at Edward. His snarl died in his throat as I bared my fangs at him, sharp nails retracting out of my fingernails as my eyes narrowed at him.

Everything grew quite as the silence became heavy with tension, my eyes were frozen on Edward, a single movement and my body would attack. Sean glanced nervously between me and Edward, his boyish face stricken with worry as his hazel eyes widened. Edward was frowning, his jaw clenching in anger as muscles twitched in his throat, keeping the growl from reaching his lips. A deep voice cleared his voice, snapping me out of my hostile position as my eye darted to the tall blonde vampire I once considered a father. His golden eyes softened as they swirled with warmth and comfort as he tried to calm the situation with his eyes. His soft hair waved to the back of his neck, neatly greased back creating a shine of blonde to catch my eye in the artificial lighting. Carlisle's face was forced as his eyes flickered between me and his son, his lips tight with the smile that wishes to disappear. He opened his mouth once more, his calming scent reaching my nose, a sweet spice mingling with the aroma of the rest of the Cullen's.

"Maybe we should take a breather. Edward? Do you mind not growling at our guest?" Edward snapped his head to his father in disbelief, his onyx eyes wide as his lips turned down in a grimace. Edward smirked and pointed a finger to Sean, a menacing growl filling the silence.

"This _dog_ is not our guest, Carlisle." Edward snapped his head back to Sean who growled weakly behind me, my shoulders stiffened as my teeth bore at Edward. Carlisle remained calm and collected, but for a split second, you could see disappointment flash in his eyes as he saw his son react so harshly. I snarled once more before straightening my position, growling at Edward's look of disgust to Sean.

"Well then, since were seen so _highly_, maybe we should just leave." I snarled once more, glaring at Edward, ignoring Esme's wince. Esme's face contorted in sadness and misery as her amber eyes glowed with sorrow. Amber twined between each glowing fleck of gold in her eyes, swirling along with her misery. Chestnut locks swirled around her head, the sun making the chestnut light up, glowing in the dim light as her lips quivered, her eyes a wide void of pain. I bit back the pain that shot through my heart at the sight of Esme in pain, turning on my heel to walk out the door.

"NO! You can't leave!" A cold body slammed into my front, wrapping her marble arms tightly around me, her head nuzzling into my neck. Her soft hair brushed past my nose, filling my body with the delightful aroma of Alice, her cold body sending shivers and tingles down and up my spine. "Please don't leave, I _just_ found you." Alice's voice broke as she nuzzled farther into my neck, her body shaking as she clutched desperately to my neck. My heart twitched and twisted in pain as my beast whimpered quietly in my chest as the pain raged inside.

I winced slightly as Alice shook in pain, my arms reaching outward o rub her back, sending as much calming touches my hands could provide.

"Its okay Alice, I won't leave." I rubbed her back until she looked up from my neck, her eyes flickering to joy, twinkling in light as the darkness that had surrounded her before evaporated. I tried to hold back the purr when I saw her eyes light up, her skin soft despite the cold surface, the powerful smell of her aroma curling around my body filling my head with its sweetness. Then just like that, my heart conquered the feeling with the thoughts that never seem to disappear for long.

Never be yours.

I winced slightly at the powerful words that struck my mind, searing my mind with its power. Slowly I disentangled myself from Alice, stepping slightly to the side, my shoulders brushing the Sean's warm bare skin. Alice's eyes widened, filling with hurt before disappearing, her dark aurora swallowing her once more as her happiness disappeared, hiding under her misery that was forced under an indifferent mask she tried to wear. Esme's face twisted with joy and sorrow, her eyes flickering between me staying and her miserable daughter. She cleared her throat, tilting her head to me, her beautiful motherly face providing comfort and love as she stared at me, her sweet vanilla scent filling the air as she breathed out a needed sigh.

"Bella, if you don't mind, im sure I can speak for everyone when I say that I would love to catch up with you. Im sure my husband also has his questions to ask as well." She shifted her head to look at Carlisle who nodded seriously, a fatherly smile tugging on his lips as he looked at me with adoring eyes. I grimaced, looking down at my bare feet before tilting my head to look at Sean, his face suddenly lit up with a goofy grin as I looked at him. Hazel eyes twinkled with reassurance as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, patting my arm slightly, his tan skin leaking warmth through my shirt to lie heavily on my skin. I smiled up at the silly wolf boy, turning my attention to Esme once more. Her eyes flickered between my shoulders to Sean's arm, pain clear in her eyes as they flickered over to her shorter daughter. Alice wore a harsh frown as her eyes stayed glued to the floor, her arms stiff at her sides while her fingers clenched repeatedly.

My head spun with confusion as I stared down at the wounded pixie, unable to know the reason of her pain. Clearing my throat, I turned to Esme once more, her eyes torn from light amber to an inky black.

"I suppose I can stay...for a little bit, but Sean is staying with me or I am leaving." Every one nodded, except for Edward and Alice, her head stayed down to the ground while Edward snarled at nothing, his eyes a ditch of blackness. Alice sighed before nodding slowly, walking gracefully past me to a seat by the bay window, resting her pixie like head on the head board as she watched her family slowly try to absorb the tension and awkward silence hovering over each body. Edward frowned once more, glaring at Sean before stepping to stand by the fireplace, his body stiff and standing tall.

A flash of blonde hair caught my attention as my heart dropped, my stomached twisting painfully as I rested my eyes on the beautiful blonde, I once desperately wanted to be a sister to. Her eyes glowed with melting gold, the usual confidence and pride easily found in the melting gold seemed to be vacant as she stared at me, regret and pain swirling in the mixture of her eyes. Her snow like skin glimmered in the artificial lighting above our heads, her blond hair glowing with a heavenly reflection, shimmering in light. She smiled sadly at me before wrapping an arm around a bear of a man. Another twist of pain echoed through my body as I stared at the bear of a brother. His pallid hand ran through the short-cropped hair standing on the top of his head as his lips twisted into a smile. Sharp teeth made their way through his smile, a white shining grin, showing his sweet brotherly affection while eyes melted with sorrow. Large bulging arms wrapped around Rosalie as he led her towards the couch, his muscles twitching on his back as he moved.

Jasper sat right next to Carlisle, his face a perfect mask of indifference as he glanced towards Alice, her face struggling to keep up her facade. Slowly I noticed Alice's eyebrows pull down, tilting her head to look out the window, hiding her face from her family.

Esme appeared right before me, her silky chestnut locks brushing against my face as she took a hold of my arm, gently holding it as she looked into my eyes, searching for approval. I smiled gently at the woman, watching as she returned the smile, her eyes brimmed with joy, lighting up the room with warmth. I looked back at Sean, lacing my fingers with his warm ones, his large musical heart meshing with mine, the only sound in the vacant house. Sean's warm pine smell filled my nose, smelling somewhat of spice and pine, mingling with an odd fragrance, foreign but contained no threat towards my beast. I led him towards the couch, Esme's soft vanilla scent disappeared as I took a seat, pulling Sean down with me. His warm fingers tightened in my hand as he shook silently, his nose crinkling as he grimaced, his hazel eyes narrowing.

Feeling the need to comfort him, I leaned into him, placing my head onto his shoulder. I smiled as I felt his head lean onto mine, his body shivering before relaxing into the couch. A loud crack sounded the room and I looked over to Alice who was glaring at the dents in the wall, the wall next to her had perfect cracks by Alice, forming delicate fingers. A small clear of the throat from Carlisle removed the increasing tension that was starting to build once more.

"Right, well Bella, I do have some questions, mostly involving you but I am curious about Sean. If you don't mind of course." Carlisle looked politely at Sean as his eyes widen in surprise, a blush filling his cheeks as he shifted in his seat, his hand itching at the back of his neck. I smiled, nudging him lightly in the ribs, warmed by his shyness.

"U-uh sure, I-I don't mind." His husky voice stuttered out the words as the blush deepened, his dark tanned skin flushed as he looked over to me. Obviously, he wasn't expecting to have to answer any tests, I smiled at the boy, resting my head back on his shoulder. Carlisle nodded and turned to me, his eyes flaring with curiosity, his fingers coming to rest by his chin as he took a thoughtful expression.

"Bella if you don't mind me asking, but how did you become like this." My heart contorted before beating normally, my eyes immediately dropping his gaze to stare at the floor. Memories of that night flashed to the front of my mind, the fear and pain washing over my body as I stared at the eyes of my tormentor. I flinched lightly, my muscles twitching as it remembered the pain it felt that night. Warm arms comforted me but I refused to lean into them, my back straightening as I lifted my gaze to the sympathetic eyes of Carlisle.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the large variety of smells, my beast perking up at the small flicker of Alice's aroma.

"Well, after Edward left me in the forest, I didn't really know how to leave." My voice didn't contain the venom I wanted to force upon, it just contained soft words, whispering out of my mouth. "After about four to five hours of wandering around the forest, I just kind of gave up, sitting on a boulder waiting for nothing." I shrugged, unable to look anyone in the eye as I continued. "I was bitten on the neck by some tiger beast, it didn't look normal, other than its size it had slit like pupils with blue eyes, its fur wasn't entirely normal either." I brushed my shirt back from my neck, exposing my sun tattoo, the black ink curling around my neck, its flames spreading up my neck to down my back. "This is where the beast bit me." Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise as everyone else succumbed in misery, their eyes filled with guilt. Before I would have wanted their guilt and pity, now I just feel sick as I stare at them, their misery eating at my heart.

Carlisle nodded for me to continue, his eyes hard as the gold in his eyes fell, gazing with shame down to the floor. My fingertips brushed against my moist hair, feeling the reassuring cool temperature run through my fingers. I pull lightly at the silky locks before resting lightly on the couch, letting a sigh fall from my lips as I delve farther into my memory. My past was about to jump out of my mouth to the people who has caused the ache in my heart. Looking up, I met Carlisle's eyes, scanning the rest of the Cullen's before flickering to the tiny pixie. She was staring at me with hollow eyes, looking straight through me, her golden eyes glassy.

"Well, after the transformation I just...ran..." Alice's eyes didn't move from the hollow trance she was in, staring silently through me as my heart started to jump, stuttering at the vacant look in her eyes that used to contain such strong overflowing emotions. I forced myself to look away, resting on Esme, her face torn with confusion and pain, her eyes misty with the desire to cry. "I didn't know what to do, so I ran until I reached the cliffs from La Push, where I swam until I found land. I stayed there for the twelve years, trying to find a way back into my human form." Emmett looked at me incredulously, his eyes wide as his mouth turned down. His frightening appearance looked pained as he stared down at me, his usual laughing face fell deeper into the dark aurora that seemed to cover the entire Cullen family.

"You didn't know how to turn back?" His voice came out as a whisper, breaking slightly as emotion rolled off his tongue. I felt a tight noose wrap itself around my neck as I stared at the exhausted and pained faces of the Cullen's, their faces wearing down with misery. Guilt stabbed me in the gut as I stared at each hurt face, their faces sullen and somber, even Edward wore a mask of misery.

"Yeah, I didn't know how to turn back, so for about eight years I stayed as the beast. It really wasn't that bad I suppose, it was kind of peaceful." I inserted the last part by the last pang of guilt and horror that clung onto each body, Jasper was drowning in the gagging emotions that were swirling in the air. I never even considered that the Cullen's were in this much pain, I always thought I just disappeared to them, just some useless pet in their eyes. Then Alice briefly mentioned their suffering, but I never stopped to think the kind of pain they had felt over the twelve years, the kind of guilt they were dragging along. Alice placed her head down on the cool wood of the wall, resting her forehead next to the glass of the window. "By the time I found a way to turn back I found myself enjoying my other side far much more, it's really quite amazing. Now I understand why you all loved to go fast, the feeling is rather unimaginable." My neck twisted to look out the window, the sun high in the sky, the rare occasion that the misty clouds would disappear and allow the sun to shine down and I am inside. My veins wrapped around each muscle that pumped with the desire to run, yearning to feel the warmth leak through my fur and warm my body as my claws dug through the soil. Feeling the warmth of the sun through the plants veins I ran past, the forest creating a small green patch of heaven.

The sun leaked through the window, engulfing small Alice in the sunlight before it was blocked by a small intruding cloud. It lasted nearly seconds but my mind froze at the beautiful sight, my beast wanting more than anything to dash across the small distance and hold onto the small breaking angel. Her skin dazzled in the sun, each inch of her smooth skin reflected the sun with brilliance. Alice's dazzling glow shamed the sun as it lit the entire room with a crystal light. Her soft silky hair shining lightly as her golden eyes reflected the light, making her wide golden eyes dance and shine in the sun. The small pixie's somber attitude cracked for a moment as she turned her head, catching my dumb folded expression, smiling softly at me. My heart stuttered for a moment before I shook my head breaking the small eye contact and releasing Alice, letting the dark depression swallow her once more as the sun broke away leaving the room in the dark.

Rosalie smiled softly at me, her eyes still sorrowful but her smile contained a sliver of hope. Esme and Carlisle exchanged a look before turning to me once more, their expression falling back to the misery they were in before. I shifted in my seat before leaning into Sean's arm again, his over powering warmth provided a sliver of comfort, distracting me as I desperately wanted to hold onto a small pixie girl.

"So how did you get here?" Emmett's voice surprised me in the silence, his voice missing the confidence and laughter that I yearned to hear.

"Well I met Jacob again, the Alpha of this bone heads pack." I smiled up at Sean who stuck his chin out with arrogance, his hazel eyes twinkling with an unknown spark. I leaned my head back to his shoulder facing the Cullen's once more before ducking my head down in embarrassment, my shame clear in my face as the last of the words came up. "I was sick of being alone so I followed him, but he apparently changed from the boy I used to know." Sean nodded, his eyes grave as his lips turned down sadly.

"Yeah, I knew Jacob when I was a kid, he was the same age as he is now...but he was much different. He smiled a lot more, which I suppose is understandable, given that he was a free man back then." Everyone turned their attention to Sean who looked down at his hands, his fingernails playing absently with each other. "Apparently he never really wanted to be Alpha, but the job was forced on him when Sam imprinted on Emily, leaving the pack to live with her. He never wanted to be involved, he always said he wanted to live with his sisters and lead a normal life with his family." Sean shrugged sadly, his eyes drowning in sorrow as he stared at his hands. My hand reached out to grasp his fingers, stopping the constant wringing, rubbing my thumb against his palm. "It's just sad what being a wolf does to people, no one really wants it, and we can't ignore it." Then his face contorted in anger, he swallowed hard as he stared at me. "Except for the wild pack, they came to La Push without an Alpha, so Jacob was forced to take control, and we all know what power can do to someone."

The last bit of information sparked interest in Carlisle's eyes, his eyes glowing with the new information.

"Interesting, so there are two packs combined?" Sean shook his head, his hair creating a curtain over his eyes as he stared down at his hands. I rested my head onto his shoulder, my fingers rubbing his arm reassuringly.

"No, there was, but the wild pack was crazy, they didn't listen to anyone but Jacob, so the rest of them separated to be with their imprints or moved away, unable to stand the unorganized life. Our original tribe broke apart to form one crazed pack, sadly I turned into a wolf at the wrong time and went into a pack full of psychopaths."

"And perverts." I mumbled, memories sticking my mind, the men following me as hunger flashed in their eyes. Sean grimaced and nodded, each boy's hungry face flashing in my eyes as the memory burned in my mind. There was a loud crack as I snapped my head up, Alice's eyes were black as night as she snapped her head up. A snarl formed in on her lips as my words settled in the air, causing both Esme and Rosalie to stiffen as Emmett's fingers tightened into fists. Alice growled again, her eyes swirling in darkness, starless nights that glared straight through me as her face contorted in anger. My head cocked to the side as my beast yearned to purr, fighting both desires to rush over to her and comfort the small pixie. I felt an overwhelming since of calm wash over us, leaking into each muscle as it ripped through Alice, restraining her anger as her face slowly relaxed.

She sat back down, looking away from me as her fingers clenched and released repeatedly, her eyes swirling with venom and hatred. I cleared my throat, swallowing the purr that had tried to escape, pushing it back to crush in my chest. "Its fine Alice, Sean saved me." I smiled up at the boy as he grinned downwards, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight.

I heard a small mumble come from Alice that came across as "_I could have saved you."_ but before I could focus on that thought, Sean wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I looked over to Alice to see her glaring with dark eyes at Sean's arm, her lips snarled before she fell back against the wall, a look of defeat plain on her face. My eyes flickered over to her small dainty fingers, playing absently with the golden rings that we gave each other for an everlasting friendship. A pain so deep ripped through me as I stared down at my empty fingers, longing shadowing any pain that came to me. My desire and longing seemed to always follow the pain, a deep after thought from the constant torment in my mind.

Carlisle shot a nervous look to Alice before him faced Sean once more, biting his lip as he wrung his hands.

"Now, don't answer if you feel uncomfortable, but do you mind explaining Imprinting to me." A loud pain filled groan filled the air as Alice placed her head on her knees, everyone shot angry looks at Carlisle, who's golden eyes melted with shame, smothering the small amount of curiosity jumping in his eyes. Sean blushed and scratched the back of his neck again, slowly relaxing in front of the vampires, his grin becoming less forced as he stared at the doctor.

"Uh, sure." I tried to break my gaze from Alice to look at Sean but my eyes couldn't remove themselves from the wounded pixie. Her shoulders were shaking silently as the time continued to tick by. "Well, it's practically love at first sight. The very moment you see your mate, something clicks with in you and you are reunited with your other half, your soul mate." A small whimper escaped Alice's shaking lips as she shook her head against her knees, her arms winding around her shins. "It's what my people believe is created so the line of Quietus can continue." Now everyone's attention was brought to Alice as she bit on her lip, trying to force back a sob, her hair in disarray as her eyes melted with sorrow. Edward looked down at his sister in disgust before crossing his arms and looking away, his eyes hard and the color of coal. Carlisle was looking down at his daughter in sympathy as Esme's eyes turned black, staring at her daughter wince in pain. Rosalie hesitantly reached a hand, her fingertips brushing past the silky hair of the pixie, massaging her scalp gently. I swallowed a growl that was crawling up my throat, jealousy stinging my heart as my beast roared in anger.

_My Alice. __**MINE. **_

I shook my head, swallowing the words in my throat as my heart tore to pieces, unable to take the pain of watching Alice in pain and my unrequited feelings. I can't be possessive of something that will never be mine. Wincing slightly I laid my fingertips against my temple, rubbing my forehead gently, trying to remove the stress and hurt in my mind.

I felt a wave of forced calm whipping through the air, filling the tension and pained air with calm that everyone rejected. Sean itched the back of his neck nervously, unsure why the little pixie was in so much pain. My heart was drowning in pain as my beast roared for me to move, tearing through every muscle, desperate to take control. My insides twisted as I forced my eyes to meet Sean's face, his face etched with worry as his eyes rested on Alice. "To be honest, I think it's a loud of Bull."

Everyone snapped their heads toward Sean in surprise, eyes swarming with confusion as they flickered to mine then back to Sean. I cocked my head to the side and turned to stare at Sean who looked just as confused as me, his eyes confused as he looked from me to the rest of the Cullen family. Rosalie stood up, her eyes glaring at Sean with distaste as her lips snarled.

"So you're just with Bella even when she's not your imprint?" I would have snarled at Rosalie, but her words shot through me, the words freezing every muscle in surprise. I snapped my head to Sean who snapped his head to me, surprise obvious in his face as he stared at me. A strong awkward silence filled the air as he slowly removed his hand from my shoulder, my fingers releasing his as my insides twisted with disgust.

The air felt heavy as every Cullen stared at our movements with furrowed brows, their eyes swirling with confusion as Jasper absorbed the heavy awkward storm that raged around Sean and I.

"Umm...yeah...this, we aren't dating...not ever." I lifted my hand to jerk between Sean and me, shifting slightly away from the boy, who blushed a deep crimson, reflecting my features. Seven beautifully sculpted eyebrows lifted in surprise while their melting golden eyes cleared from confusion, focusing slightly onto our increasing distance.

I placed a hand to my forehead, covering my eyes, trying to hold in my embarrassment. Every moment since I woke up flashing under my eyelids, making Sean and I as a couple. I shook my head slightly, my head swirling with churning disgust. It's not like Sean wasn't attractive...or sweet, but he was like a brother. Anyway, I didn't want Sean I wanted...

My eyes flickered to Alice whose face was relieved of dark sorrowful emotions, now her dark eyelashes fluttered lightly as her lips loosened their tight frown. Misery cleared in her eyes to slowly gain flashes of the bright and bubbly Alice that I have missed for twelve years. My heart fluttered helplessly in my chest as Alice leaned against the wall behind her, her arms laying limp against her as her lips pulled up into a soft smile. Although the smile was small, it roared with complex emotions that entwined together, the large variety of feelings, flashing across her face to finally rest on joyful, her eyes relaxed and rich with joy. The light returned to her eyes, twinkling weakly under the butterscotch that melted with gold, mingling together in the large pools of her eyes.

My heart couldn't resist feeling full once more...I didn't even now it was empty, but now it was hard not to realize just how miserable I was before this moment. Now my body felt light and relaxed as my heart fluttered lightly in my chest, warmth pooling in my chest as it spread across each ligament in my body. The light wrapped around my body, bright with a feeling of tranquility, peace and calm soothing over each knot in my stomach, all the aches and pains in my body relieved.

I closed my eyes, engraving this moment into my mind, desperate to remember this feeling and cling onto the small amount of happiness that I have felt over the past twelve years. I doubt anything could break this moment right now, the strength and relief.

"So, Bella I have one final question for you." Well damn it. The peace evacuated my body, rushing out of my body in a shallow heartbeat. I let out a breath as my heart lost all comfort and strength, now living in vulnerability and fear once more. I opened my eyes in exasperation, my body tired from the figment of peace to flutter around me only to be ripped away once more. Carlisle's eyes burned with his apologies as he looked upon my exasperated expression, my eyes distrustful and tired. The doctor took a deep breath, running his fingers through his thick blonde hair as his eyes met mine. "Does the sun influence you in anyway, like help you when you're weak?" My eyebrows shot up as the question took me off guard. I leaned back in the couch to think, my fingers brushing through my soft hair once more.

"Well, I suppose I feel stronger in the sun, sometimes at night I feel more vulnerable then usual but not by that much. Though the night feels as welcomed as the day, it just leaves me feeling a little less...stronger...why did you want to know?" Carlisle had the classic thoughtful look on his face, his eyes burning with curiosity, the never-ending ache to learn more.

"Well, when you came back...from fighting the werewolves." We all shared an uncomfortable look towards Sean who blushed and itched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Which didn't make much sense at first, since we had the treaty, but if the old tribe fell apart then I suppose the treaty became outdated?" Sean nodded absently, his eyes drifting to a far away place as Carlisle continued. "You came back bleeding...everywhere, and although you were healing you weren't healing fast enough." Carlisle's eyes became grave as Alice cringed, her shoulders shaking slightly. "We thought it was too late, but once the sun hit you, you healed immediately, transforming back into your human form. Your sun tattoo glowed brightly before shrinking back into the size it is now, before the inky flames nearly touched your face."

My heart stopped in surprise before jumping up to my throat, beating disoriented as the new information wrapped itself around my brain, settling heavily in my mind. My head started to spin with the thoughts that wouldn't calm down, whirling in my mind, spinning and clashing together as my head pounded and throbbed.

"Bella? Are you okay?" The light voice caught my attention immediately, causing my mind to settle, and my beast relaxing as it focused on the sweet voice. Her voice was silky smooth like velvet but strong with an undertone of many emotions that threatened to break through. My eyes flickered to Alice, her eyes a sweet butterscotch that seemed to move and twirl in the large orbs. The longer I stared into her golden eyes the more I felt myself drift off, loosing my sense of direction as a part of me kept in a painful amount of attention toward Alice. Her aroma found itself to my body, wrapping around me to loose a part of my mind as I slowly drove myself crazy. I wanted to run to her side, nuzzling my head under her silky smooth neck, cool and calming. Focus on something else, don't loose control, I chanted to myself softly.

The sun heals me, I always felt stronger in its presence, always loving the sensation slip through my fur to rest on my skin, leaking to fill my body with warmth and strength, filling my mind with courage. So if the sun heals me, what does the night do to me?

The night always is calming, as the sun pumps adrenaline through my veins, the night drifts me off in peace. It wraps peace and softness through me as the sun makes me jumpy and rough, always ready to fight. The night is beautiful, dark with danger as I loose my shield revealing my vulnerable spots to the world. Frightening but beautiful.

Therefore, of course with the last thought my mind drifted to Alice, observing the way her skin reflected the dim glow from the moon, how her golden eyes shone in the dark. How her sweet alluring smell had captured me, making my muscles move on her command. In the sun, she shines like an angel, glowing brightly as the moon reflects the darker light within. My lips twitched with delight as I studied the beautiful pixie in my mind, in my mind she can always be mine.

I shook the thought from my mind, focusing my eyes on Carlisle once more to see his eyes alight with amusement as he watched me from his seat. Alice's eyes were twinkling as her smile grew into an adorable lazy grin, her eyes glowing with adoration. Esme and Rosalie had the same exact face, soft and sweet as they stared at me, eyes soft with love. Emmett looked like he was trying not to laugh, holding his hand to his mouth as his stomach muscles twitched with the desire to bellow with laughter. Jasper was grinning at me, his smile wide with his shining teeth. Edward's face was soft for once, a smile on his face as he watched me, looking oddly like the way he used to look. The kind boy who never wanted to be a monster, sweet and loyal, not the controlling manipulative monster who took joy in others pain. I shook my head and turned to Sean, his face twisted in confusion and amusement.

Wait...what am I missing here.

I lasted a few long seconds with nothing changing before my irritation and impatience got the better of me.

"What!" That just about did it for Emmett, he tilted his head up to roar in laughter, his sides nearly splitting with the force of the deafening sound, his arms winding around his torso to keep his rips intact. Rosalie glanced at her husband, releasing a soft giggle as she smiled at me. Alice's tinkling laughter, light and delicate seemed to drown Emmett's roaring as my ears picked up the sound, my heart melting as she lifted her head slightly, as the sound increased in music. Then I was interrupted with Sean's husky chuckle that brushed past my ear. My head snapped in his direction, cutting his laughter off with a harsh glare, my lips snarling with impatience.

"You were purring." His hazel eyes danced with amusement as he returned to laughing, my face now crimson red as my cheeks burned with the amount of blood pumping to my cheeks. Everyone joined in with the laughter after seeing my blush, my ears still picking out the small tinkling laughter.

"Oh shut it." I huffed in impatience as humiliation slapped me across the cheek. Emmett suddenly stopped laughing, his face still bright with joy and the bear like love that I had missed so desperately. My heart ached slightly at the look he gave me, like I was his little sister again, ready to play "don't let Bella touch the floor."

"Yeah, you know Bella can't contain the kitten inside." He then roared at his own joke, everyone laughing once more at me, Esme's face relaxed with joy as she smiled warmly at me. Her eyes smoldered with love and affection as the two golden globes stared at me. I pouted, my blush slightly getting out of control, it now burned down my neck as it consumed my entire face.

I grumbled dark things under my breath as Emmett slowly started to calm down, his laughter dying down to a low rumble that vibrated in his chest. The big bear of a man smiled after what seemed to be forever, his laughter finally broke off, Rosalie's hand hitting the back of his head. I chuckled at the hurt that washed over his face as he rubbed the back of his head, his face falling into a pout. I leaned onto Sean, his eyes lost in the sky out the window. I followed his gaze to watch the sun set, the blue setting on fire as clouds the color of flames misted through the darkening sky.

Sean shifted slightly beside me, his face slowly becoming pained as he watched the sky darken, his eyes burning with a darker sorrow I have ever seen on the smiling boy.

"What is it Sean?" He jumped out of the moment, his eyes snapping out of misery to rest on me. He smiled lightly, the misery nearly gone from his gaze as he shifted beside me, his onyx hair falling to curtain over his eyes. He shrugged lightly, his eyes rising again to see the sun rest for the night.

"Want to see the sun set with me?" The question took me by surprise, and as he looked at me, my heart ached with the hope and desperation burning in his eyes, his smile small and quivering slightly. My eyes flickered to the Cullen's, making eye contact with Carlisle.

"Are we done here?" The doctor blinked in surprise, letting his eyes fall slightly in disappointment before nodding slowly. My heart ached in sorrow before I stood up lightly, my eyes skimming over the rest of the Cullen's, their eyes frozen on me with hurt and disappointment. I wanted to stay with them, to rest and laugh with the family I have wanted for a very long time, but that little simple question of Sean's seemed to burn with such sadness and pain that I couldn't refuse him. I froze at Alice, her face sad once more, and the thought of seeing her drag back down to the sorrow she was in before struck my heart painfully, forcing my muscles to move past my mind, acting without permission to appear by her side. I smiled down at her surprised pixie face, leaning down to wrap my arms around the girl, pulling her in a soft embrace. She froze before returning it lightly, her aroma calling for me to do more, but before I could loose control I pulled away, smiling softly at her. I turned to Sean to see him smiling happily at me, his eyes joyful as I walked to him.

"Hey what about me Bells...don't I get a hug?" The deep voice caught me by surprise, I turned lightly to see Rosalie looking at Emmett with horror in her eyes as she scowled at him. His smiling face fell lightly at the possibility of me denying him and leaving without another word. I giggled lightly, pouncing on top of the heavy bear man, pulling him into a hug.

"Bye Emmy-bear." His booming laughter filled the air as his arms constricted around me. I slid down the large man, falling lightly to the floor. I awaited for the pain to strike my heart, but nothing came, just warmth and happiness. I dashed to the door by Sean, waving to the rest of the Cullen's, my eyes catching Esme who just dropped her arms to her side, her face trying to hide the pain that flashed for a moment. Words rushed out of my mouth to comfort the motherly woman, her heart shaped face still containing figments of pain.

"Um...see you tomorrow?" The Cullen family looked up to smile, each pair of eyes containing warmth and love. My eyes swept over Edward to see his expression soft as he glanced at me, unnoticed by many but a small glimmer of anger poked through his gaze as I turned my back on him. My heart stuttered, a slight flare of anger slashed inside my beast, I nodded and left the house, ignoring the twist of my stomach. It didn't feel right to see his eyes watching me, my heart has not forgotten the cruel words that left his mouth, or the anger that spikes in his eyes whenever something doesn't go his way. How his face used to twist with a possessive smile when he was around me.

I sighed softly, leaning into the warm body next to me, his arms swinging lightly as he walked. I looked up to the boy, his eyes glued to the sky that was darkening to a darker blue, the orange disappearing into a faint pink as the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

"Im sorry I asked you to come with me, I didn't mean to separate you from your vampire family." My heart twisted slightly as pain settled against my heart, I released a disappointed sigh. Apparently, not everything has healed. I shook my head, looking up at the boy, his hair falling away from his face as he stared up at the sky, his eyes absorbing the sunset. "I just" He smiled sheepishly as his eyes filled with sorrow. "Wanted to see the sun set with you. Like my family used to do with me."

Used to? My heart stung with the possibility of his statement, pain filling my lungs as Sean's face slowly fell from the sky, his eyes going low to the ground.

"What do you mean used to." Sean didn't answer, his lips just quivered slightly as his eyes started to fill with unshed tears." Sean, where is your family?"

"Probably at home watching the sun set from their back yard." His voice dripped with misery as he stared down at the ground. "Do you want to know another bad thing about being a wolf?" I didn't answer, I just waited patiently, my hand wrapping around his torso, bringing him closer. "It comes spontaneously, without much warning onto you, it can be confusing and frightening while your emotions become unstable. You can turn without much warning at the slightest event, perhaps your birthday where your family and friends are shocked to find that you're not human." He looked back up at the sky, tears rolling softly down his cheeks. "My family and I used to go out to watch the sunset, but I scared them away, they screamed at me to leave, my father waved a shot gun in my face as I turned into a wolf." His pain drove knives into my body, lying heavily on my heart as it sank in the misery of this boy. His head cocked to me, his smile was crooked as his lips twitched and quivered, his boyish face turning somber.

"Im so sorry Sean." My voice quivered slightly as Sean let out a shaky breath, trying to regain the confident and adorable smile that always seemed glued to his face before. I never even thought about Sean, so consumed in my own world as the boy next to me drowned in his depression, forced to smile as his lips grew tired of the lies. I entwined my fingers with his, rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand, he smiled weakly at my poor attempt to reassure him. I knew I was supposed to say something, I knew by the way his eyes glanced at me, hoping for some comfort and stable ground. "You will always have me." Sean laughed quietly, his eyes growing lighter as we grew closer to the forest, each step closer to an unknown direction to watch something that had slipped by a while ago.

Silence settled between us as we walked through the thick forest, the night releasing a moment of silent tranquility through the forest, letting the moon be the only light to filter through the thick branches of the trees. I tilted my head, my eyes searching for the open beauty of the stars, the night dark with only small glimpses of faraway worlds. I gripped Sean's hand tighter, pulling him away from our aimless walk to a direction, my mind slowly pulling together an idea of a place filled with the serene beauty. My heart lay in anticipation of the sight before us, my bare feet padding lightly next to Sean's heavy thumps and pants. His breath came out in small visible huffs, brushing lightly against my ear as I sped up, dodging past trees and jumping past rocks, the only thing keeping Sean close was our linked fingers.

Finally, I came across a small clearing, an inky creek running through the silent meadow, the moon hovering right above out heads as the trees cleared for us. The night sky swirled around us as I released Sean's fingers, letting our heads fall to the open sky, breathing in the beauty and peace of the silent world. My eyes caught the boulder where I met Alice once before, her body long since resting on the looming boulders next to me. The familiar ache twitched within as I jumped up the boulders, my fingertips brushing the smooth rock beneath me. I faintly heard Sean's low paints as he settled for a lower boulder next to me, my face lifted to the sky to absorb the beauty of the full moon above me.

After several long minutes, I heard Sean drift to sleep, his soft snoring filling the air as the ache inside of me became nearly unbearable. I ran my fingers through my hair before lying on the cold marble, my head staring up to the sky that seems so reachable to my fingertips. A sigh fell from my body as I closed my eyes, feeling exhaustion sit heavily on my chest and cut at my heart.. My beast gave in, growling softly as my arms lay empty on a cold boulder, the desperation slipping off me as I drifted to sleep.

Right before I closed my eyes a mesmerizing smell touched my nose, so distinct and beautiful that my heart fluttered to life. I forced my eyes closed, not wanting to open them and break the wonderful delusion. A light breath fanned against my lips as my eyelids fluttered, my cheek tickled by the silky hair that nestled into my neck. Cooling arms wound around me, calming my beast once more as I sighed in content, the small pixie's body curled on top of me, vibrating softly as a purr broke through her delicate lips. I answered with a deeper purr, my arms constricting around Alice as I drifted off in bliss.

**Good? Not good? Please tell me and review? Thank you! I meant to throw in more Sean time just so you understand why he isnt with his family and get some sort of depth in his character? Yes? Alright. Till next time. **


	10. Chapter 10

Holy Crapp! That took a looong time to update, the writing was coming up dry and boring without any emotion what so ever so I had to rewrite most of this. Ugh, and then School hit me in the back of the head with homework and crap.

Special shout out to Catastrophe86, you're an amazing Beta person, really appreciate it.

Warmth seeped onto my back as a cold sensation weighed lightly on my chest, spreading sweetly through my body to rest gently through my muscles. The sensation was peculiar: to feel blistering heat fighting its way through my back then immediately relieved from the torment with a refreshing cooling embrace. My mind slowly started to pull itself from the heavy haze it fell into the night before, tripping into a heavy fog and dazing my sluggish mind with exhausting thoughts and sweet dreams. My heart fluttered helplessly in my chest as the longing and incurable desire seeped into my body, riling my beast awake as my body shivered with pleasure. The muscles resting underneath the tight skin that was currently brushing past soft frosted stone tightened with the simple touch. My mind immediately concentrated on every cell in my body that was influenced by the light frosted stone; anything that was touched by the cold marble froze as my mind spun with confusion.

What is on top of me?

I focused on the way my chest rose and fell, the way the object curled perfectly against me, my breaths mingling with a light airy breath that seemed to match perfectly with mine. An intake of breath as I exhaled, perfect countering parts fitting rhythmically together. Under my heavy eyelids, I saw a brilliant light, sneaking through my thick eyelashes to burn at my unexposed eyes. My mind started to come to the present, slowly connecting the past flashes and thoughts together to create a decent memory that answered why I felt a scorching heat on my back. I was resting on a boulder that absorbs the suns love, taking then returning the light and heat forcefully to the air once more. My fingertips fell from the cold marble to brush against the roughly cut stone, scars and pebbles ran across my fingertips as I ventured through the scorching rock. Almost immediately, my fingers returned to the soothing marble on top of me. Feather like air blew in my face in response, evicting bell like laughter from the marble.

My mind came to a halt as the laughter filled the thin air, my heart stopping before trying to jump through my throat as it fluttered like a sparrow. A brilliant aroma embraced me as the light marble shifted on top of me, the silky hair tickling against my skin before smooth skin made contact with my throat. The silky smooth skin nuzzled against my throat before applying a soft pressure, glossy lips pressing lightly against the hollow of my throat as light purring escaped the pixie.

_Alice. _

An echoing purr answered the light humming of the pixie, thunderous to the thrumming of her purr. I lifted my chin lightly as Alice kneaded my shirt softly, her head nuzzling lovingly against my body as her purring increased in sound. My heart jumped joyfully as my arms yearned to wrap around the delicate body of the pixie, to return the light affection with endless passion that has bloomed within my heart with every longing second.

My heart constricted while expanding as fighting emotions twisted together within my body. A light relief filled through me, fluttering lightly as it twisted around my heart, winding softly around the helpless organs, silky and delicate as it tightened its thread like hold on my body. A shadow of pain to follow every relief, depression to jump every joyful moment as pain struck every happy thump of my heart.

Remember heart: she is not yours.

Yet my heart has yet to listen to me, deciding to act by itself as it influenced my muscles, winding around me to manipulate my control for its' selfish demands. My arms constricted around the small girl lying on top of me, pressing the pixie impossibly closer. My chin rested upon light hair that glazed my throat sweetly, the soft humming increased as my fingertips started to rub calming circles onto the pixie's back, eliciting musical laughter to bounce within my head, vibrating every fiber within me. Her lips pressed lightly against the hollow of my throat, eliciting a shock to crawl up my spine and stun my stuttering heart. My breathing became rather unsteady as her glossy lips parted, the cool breath tickling my neck as she nuzzled into me once more, tinkling laughter wrapping around my ears to taunt my beast.

"Hmm...You're so warm." Her words became muffled in my neck as her fingertips brushed against my skin, roaming with freedom across my body. My heart nearly stopped beating with the intense crashing desire to reach out and touch her, just to feel the smooth ivory skin.

The soft purring increased in sound as her head nuzzled against my neck, her fingers grasping my shirt, my arms holding on to her tightly. My eyelids finally could not resist peeling open and drinking in the beauty that was Alice Cullen, the bright sun resting above our heads as it shined all of its love down to Alice. Her skin reflected the sun as it shone like crystals, dazzling and blinding my eyes while I stared in amazement. My mind lost its reasoning as my body shifted upwards to pull the pixie on to my lap, my eyes locked on the angel. Her face seemed so angelic, peaceful as her eyes closed; her lips pulled into a brilliant smile that outshined the sun's beauty. The beast inside gradually silenced in my chest as it leaked through my every fiber, desperate to reach and touch the paralyzing beauty that captured me the moment I let my eyes flutter open. My heart had stopped its duty to keep the natural blood flowing through my veins to marvel over each diamond that dazzled in Alice's skin. Inside warmth exploded into my chest, causing a vicious chain reaction to melt through my body, allowing my beast an escape as my mind strayed in a confusing haze.

Instinct drove over the harsh reasoning that was stabbing my mind as my beast broke through its chains, influencing my muscles as I pulled the shining angel closer to me. My fingertips ran down Alice's spine as fingernails massaged her scalp, pulling gently on the feather like hair that caressed my skin gingerly. Alice's eyes snapped open, the golden suns in her eyes eclipsed into darkness, starless nights as the orbs widened with surprise. Her smooth silky lips pulled lightly up at the corners, brilliant white teeth shining in the sunshine. My heart fluttered lightly in my chest as my fingertips twitched with desire, my own lips pulling up to smile lovingly at the small pixie; her gentle features melted with warmth as her chin twitched upwards, tilting her head towards me. I twirled her hair between my fingertips, loving the soft caress of the silk between my fingers as her beautiful aroma enveloped me in an embrace. It was like touching soft velvet, the way your fingertips brush lightly against its cool surface, then once more, unable to resist its alluring feel. The distant purring in my chest increased as its tempo started to beat heavier; my lips pulled back to smile gently at Alice, her light pixie features causing such warmth and love to twirl lightly in my chest.

My eyes drowned in the pit less gaze of the pixie; her eyes flashed darkly as she smiled, her lips pulling up to reveal the small gleam of mischief dancing in the darkness of her eyes. I watched in a daze as she twisted in my arms, my fingers still ensnarled in her hair as she placed her snow like arms around my neck, her body fettling sweetly against mine. Tingles and shocks shot through me as her knees landed on either side of my waist, her body hovering inches from making contact with me as her smile became more menacing; the gleam in her eyes flashed warning signs in my mind that were instantly ignored.

Alice smirked as her fingers raked through my hair, grasping a hold of the wild hair. I cocked my head to the side, still lost as to what the pixie was planning. I tried to position myself away from Alice, but my body instantly froze when a growl fell from Alice's lips; bright emotions shined in the swirling darkness of her eyes. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. I eyed her wearily as her smile widened, her eyes bright with mischief.

"Alice what are you pl-" My words were cut off by my blood curling scream filling the air as my body was pushed from the tall boulder, twisting in the air as cool arms wound tightly around me. Wind rushed past my ears as a cold impact hit my back, breaking away to envelope me in its cold clutch. Water circled around me, wrapping tightly around me to lap up at my warm body; the cold arms loosening as the impact hit. My fingers grazed the small pebbles and rocks that lightly brushed against my skin as freezing water froze every muscle. Light, bell-like laughter filled the air and I shot my head up to the pixie; her head tilted to the sky as her laughter wrapped around me. I swallowed gently, my eyes shooting to our position as a heart aching desire shot through my body. The little pixie had me pinned in the small inky creek; her small body straddling my waist as her fingernails kept me locked in the water.

I shook my head lightly, glaring at the hysterical pixie; her snow like skin brightening in the reflection of the water as her dark eyes brightened to reveal warm butterscotch. The gold brightened when I snarled at her; my eyes narrowing while I glared at the beautiful pixie. My head felt light as my heart continued to flutter weakly in my chest; the small thump of my heart hammering and jumping as Alice smiled happily down at me.

"You're going to regret that." I tried to hold back the smile that wanted to jump on my face when Alice's face twisted to look fearful as her eyes glowed with mirth. My lips struggled to hide the smile as a forced snarl started to echo out of my chest, forcing my face to look angry. Alice's eyebrows knitted together as she studied my face, worry starting to swarm the warmth in her eyes as her smirk fell from her face. The smile forced its way through my muscles and onto my lips as my arms shot out, wrapping around the bright pixie as my back arched and twisted, pulling little Alice into the depths of the inky water. Pebbles brushed through our hair as I pinned her arms above her head; the cool water rushing around us to swallow us whole. Alice's hair swayed lifelessly in the water, swirling and whirling in the weak current as my body pressed firmly on top of her; my fingers pulled her arms above her head to pin them to the uneven rocks beneath us.

Chestnut hair swirled around my head, freed from the heavy gravity that had pulled it down. The water washed over my back that arched slightly out of the water, my body mostly covered with the onyx like water that had circled us.

My electric eyes shot upwards to look at the warm golden eyes beneath me; the orbs widening to an impossible size as my body blocked the sun from her skin. The dark water swarmed between us, blocking any access to the outer world and locking Alice and I in our own world with just the cold water between us. Her skin dimmed from the dazzling diamonds to a smooth snow like appearance; her glistening lips fell into a weak smile as the bright golden eyes lost all of the warmth and confidence to show the sliver of vulnerability. My heart pumped weakly in my chest as emotions surged into my body, slowly chipping away my well-formed boundaries, breaking at the restricting chains.

My eyes fell from her gaze to study her dainty pixie nose, then drifted to her petite cheekbones before finally resting on her smooth glossy lips. My heart constricted at the ideas that throbbed in my mind, forcing myself to look away from the alluring lips, my beast snarling with impatience. I held back a whimper that wanted to escape, letting my lips part and a shaky breath get lost in the water that carried my pain away with the current.

My eyes glimpsed downward to Alice's neck; the smooth granite skin twitched under my gaze as my fingernails dug into the skin, forcing myself to stay in control. My gaze seemed to lock into the smooth granite neck as my teeth rubbed against my lower lip, fangs sharpening as my head clouded with thoughts.

_Bite her. Mark her. Bite her, mark what is ours. Imprint. Mate. Mark her.  
_  
My eyelids snapped closed as I felt myself lean forward, shock and confusion attacking my mind as my body started to take control of my confused state of mind. I felt like I was grasping air, reaching out to something that keeps running right through my fingertips. My muscles ached from the strain I was forcing upon them, trying to force them under my rule, but they had rebelled against me, moving with pride and freedom.

Inside I was scolding myself, yelling for me to leave the pixie alone. She was not mine; I cannot mark what will never be mine. My stomach was twisting as my heart hammered against my rib cage, fighting to be heard through the thick haze that had started to cloud through my mind, forcing my humanity to slowly slip away as the beast inside started to take control. My body leaned forward, watching with delight as Alice shivered under me, her sharp teeth biting softly on her stone like lips. Her golden eyes followed my movements, watching with wide eyes as I leaned into her, my fingernails scratching lightly against her stone wrists. My lungs constricted with the lack of breath but I was far from soothing them now, my mind was conflicting with my body, pleading for my irrational beast to stop its movements. I growled weakly in the water, letting the bubbles of my distress reach the air to warn the world of my soon to be disastrous actions.

My head jerked downwards, letting my lips fall down to Alice's neck, my teeth grazing the cold granite as a shiver rocketed through the small pixie. Electricity shot through my limbs at the simple impact, igniting my veins with the harsh static. A breath escaped Alice's lips as the air bubbled through the water, my eyes flickering away from the granite neck to watch the gasp of breath bubble out to the surface; Alice's gold eyes misting to an inky black. My fingertips felt the muscles in Alice's arms tighten as she twisted slightly in my grasp, her head turning away from me to expose her neck. My muscles constricted at the sight of the flashes of emotions that seemed to flutter through the pixie's eyes, a vulnerable look passing through her eyes. My beast fell silent in my chest as pain tightly enclosed my heart, tightening its hold on the poor organ.

My teeth ghosted past her cool skin before swiftly falling to press my lips against her skin, allowing my arms to release her. As my head crashed through the flowing water, my chest heaved with the feeling of air moving through my lungs. My heart fell silent for a moment as it crushed under the weight of my torment and distress. I let out a broken whimper before sealing away my pain, forcing the broken feelings to bottle within and hide underneath the smile that I forced upon my lips. My eyes fell down to the water to watch Alice's head break through the current and touch the cool air.

We sat in darkness, as the water around us remained its inky black while the threatening clouds hid the sun, allowing only patches of sun rays to reach the Earth. The forest around us lost its bright green as the sun hid the bright rays of light, evaporating into nothing. The leaves twitch in the darkening grey sky, yearning to reflect the sun through its leaves, only finding a heavy curtain of grey to shadow through its branches.

My eyes flickered towards Alice, her eyes locked onto my face as her dark gaze swirled with confusion, a question burning on her tongue as her lips quivered. She wants to ask what the hell I was doing, why I had pinned her to the floor and tried to bite her. Well, I would like to know what the hell I was doing myself. A heavy weight pushed down onto my chest, forcing my lungs to lose all of the air that had captured my head spinning with dizziness and misery. I sighed heavily before forcing a smile onto my face, my eyes found her dark gaze to watch her golden rays of light break through the inky black in her eyes.

"Told you that you would regret it." God, what a weak attempt to cover this mistake; I nearly cringed as the words left my mouth. My eyes flickered to Alice's golden eyes, waiting for her to raise her eyebrows at me and demand to know what I was doing then turn away in disgust as I told her why. That I lov-...have a crush on her. I sighed heavily at the weak lie, my mind going numb from the amount of pain that had crushed down on my body. My lips are tired of speaking lies that seem to become weaker every time I whisper them.

I waited, but Alice never questioned me, instead her eyes fell from my face to stare at the water, her teeth biting at her lip as the gold swirled with glimpses of pain. I forced myself to giggle; the laughter mechanical and fake as I leaned into the little pixie. My lips found her ear, my breath breaking through my lips to whisper words that I forced through my mouth.

"You thought I was going to bite you?" Alice shivered slightly, her damp hair brushing against my cheek as I  
took in a longing breath. I let my eyelids flutter close as I felt her breath tickle my neck, to pretend that I was leaning in to whisper other words, words that she could turn and whisper back if only things were different. My muscles were falling limp, going numb and growing tired as the seconds ticked by. Finally, I felt Alice's light release of breath against my skin reminding me to lean back away from the pixie.

"Yeah, you got me; I definitely thought you were going to bite me." Alice giggled lightly, her eyes joyful as she smiled sweetly at me. My lips forced a smile before looking away, my eyes catching Alice's face falling as her eyes drowned in disappointment, her face turning away from me so her fingernails could run through her feather like hair.

The silence was deafening, choking out any other sound in the forest that could possibly be heard. My mind was wrapped securely around Alice who was staring down at the water that was gliding around her, forming small ripples to strike the water as it washed past us. I shifted closer to her, my legs stretching and tightening as the cold water dripped down my skin. Alice's eyes shifted to look at my legs, watching a single drop of water slide down my thigh to reunite with the rushing water. My arms stretched out to meet the rocks beneath us as I leaned down to crawl. The water reached out to touch my shoulders while I crawled swiftly through the current to reach Alice. Her golden eyes looking up to meet mine, she smiled softly at me; her eyes kindling warmth and affection.

I reached her and twisted myself around so I could sit down quietly next to her. I sighed quietly, my head tilting to look up to the sky, watching the clouds stretch to cover the once blue sky, each cloud containing a dark undertone that seemed darker than the last. I closed my eyes enjoying the smooth feeling of the water gliding around me, the cold ripples formed around me as I laced my fingers through the water, my eyes tracing the small rings of the ripples from the compact of the dripping water that had rolled off my hair. I glanced from the corner of my eyes to see Alice watching me play with the water, a soft smile on her lips as I waved my hand through the small waves. I swallowed gently, preparing to speak through the heavy tension that seemed to surround us, thick as it winded around my chest.

"The sky is beautiful." I glanced up at Alice to see her look at me incredibly, her eyes wide as she her smile brightened.

"You hate the rain and cold." Alice's face turned amused as her eyes lightened by the second, I sighed in relief, as the tension that had wounded around us seemed to have disappeared. I turned to smile at the little pixie, my eyes marveling at the beauty next to me.

"Things change I suppose." My lips turned up into a smile as I shifted my gaze away from the beautiful pixie to the darkening sky. It really was beautiful; the clouds seemed to show such sorrow as it hovered above the Earth, yearning to touch the warmth but to forever stay in a cold world. The clouds fill with water as the dark grey shadows the world, darkening the sky with a different beauty, leaving sparkling tears to fall from the sky. I learned to love the cool air and the sweet smell that it left as the water droplets fell from the sky. I shrugged lightly before turning to face Alice again. "I don't know, when I was a human I only thought it meant cold weather and frozen muscles, but now I see so much more. It always leaves me in amazement, the sensation of the rain dropping from the sky to fall against the earth as it drops the sweet smell of the storm." Alice was staring up at me with a bright smile on her face, her golden eyes shining in the darkening sky.

"Yes the rain is beautiful, especially at night when everything is silent and asleep, it fills the night sky with light music, and the soft pitter-patter of rain is beautiful." I nodded, my heart fluttering as Alice's head fell down to rest on my shoulder, a soft purring making its way out of her chest. "I never thought I would hear you say that you love the rain. Though I should have put it in consideration since, obviously, all kittens love the rain." I froze and looked down at a giggling little pixie, her eyes dancing with amusement as her smile seeped with warmth.

"Smart ass." I shoved her lightly on the shoulder as I stared down at the pixie, a look of shock on her face as she stared at me, my heart fluttering helplessly in my chest.

"I am no such thing." She turned to flick me on the ear, her smile growing into an adorable grin as tingles hummed within me. I huffed out a breath, flicking water at Alice, her soft hair getting drenched once more. Waves of her scent wafted over to me as the cool water dripped down the angered little pixie, my head swarming with its intoxicating scent. The pixie's cool breath tickled my nose as she huffed in irritation, her lips forming a small pout as her eyes bore into mine. My hand instinctively fell down, leaving me disarmed and unprepared for the sudden tackle of water seizing my body. I gasped as a cold body shoved me with freezing water, my back arching to fall lightly against the rocks, my head submerged in the inky blackness once more.

Water created a silky curtain over my eyes as I stared through the darkness up at a blurry Alice, her smile shining through the water to hit me square in the chest, attacking my heart with warmth through my freezing body. My lips twitched into a smirk as I allowed my body to go limp, falling from resistance as I allowed my body to sink, my arms growing limp as the water seeped through my body. I watched from a small sliver of my eyes as Alice's smile slowly fell from her face and confusion replaced it. I opened my mouth to let weak bubbles escape my mouth as I let the current drag me farther from Alice. Immediately Alice's confusion broke into a state of panic and alarm, her body disappearing to stand right before me. Cold arms wrapped securely around me as the water was replaced by silky grass that grazed my bare skin. My fingertips still felt the smooth water that encircled my palm.

"Bella! Oh god, Bella do-" The rest of her sentence was cut off by my hand shooting up to swipe water across the surprised pixie, her face turning quickly from surprised to angry. "Bella you brat!" I looked through the small crack of my eyelids to see Alice growling down at me as her lips struggled to hide a smile. I lifted my head to laugh, my hair feeling light as it dripped with water, the smell of the forest and the intoxicating scent of Alice swirling around in my head.

My chest tightened as cool arms were placed on either side of my head, Alice's glowing eyes gleaming as her lips stretched with a smile. A predatory look flashed across her face as a threatening growl thundered out of her dainty chest, catching me off guard and frightening my unexpecting heart. Warm butterscotch eyes flickered to my chest as she listened to the crazed fluttering of my heart, her smile threatening to grow larger. Her shoulders shifted slightly above me as she crawled closer, her growl shattering the silence of the forest.

Once more, the burning desire flared to life in my chest, my eyes flickering to her smooth neck as the depth of my desire drowned me in an endless want. I wanted her more than anything; I would gladly give my heart and soul for just a sliver of a possibility to have her be mine, to call her mine as my arms winded around her. For a moment I let my eyes close, allowing the depression to crash over me like waves and drag everything out with it, leaving only ruins. I sighed and let my body return to the present, my eyes locked once more on the golden eyes of my secret beloved.

Ignoring the constricting pain in my chest, I smiled up at Alice, biting my lip lightly as my body shook with a pleasant buzz of electricity. Alice's smile softened as her eyes glowed with warmth; the large golden orbs glistened with affection as her body remained just inches from mine. The throbbing electricity felt too much, sparking and crackling at my heart as the pixie lowered herself to me. My heart was beating a new rhythm, as the pleasant buzz became an electric twist, painfully biting into my skin. My eyes shot up towards the golden globes, my heart cracking from under the intense feelings swarming inside. I took a shaky breath before twisting my position so my back was pressed against Alice; a surprised gasp escaped her lips as I moved upwards with Alice on my back. The frosted like marble arms fell from my back as the body lost their grip, falling with a soft thud on the forest floor. I turned to see a surprised little pixie, her eyes wide while her lower lip jutted out to pout. My heart melted at the sight of the adorable pout, inside I felt warmth pool in my chest to run through my veins and fill my body with the love and joy that attacked my heart.

My head felt light and giddy as I turned from Alice, looking over my shoulder to wink at her, a lightning smile taking my lips as I dashed away. Bare feet hit the soft soil beneath me, excitement pumping in my veins as my hair whipped behind my head. My muscles stretched and constricted with joy as I let out my shortened breaths, my heart waiting for the impact that would surely come soon. A lightning smile ensnarled my lips as the quiet forest filled with bell like laughter. My lungs twitched as laughter exploded from my lips, taunting the small pixie behind me.

The grey sky allowed a dark gloom to surround the forest as I ran; each cloud overlapped each other and tore into the sky as small rays of sunlight made their way through the darkness. The once light green forest was shining in a darker light, the sun's rays making heavenly pools of light break through the thicket of branches to rest in small portions of the forest. I shot through the small patches of light, dodging the large trunks of trees as my feet pounded lightly against the soft soil leaving shallow imprints of me.

My ears twitched to catch Alice's small pitter of feet that ran across the forest, light and small that could easily be mistaken for distant fluttering of bird wings. A deep purring vibrated in my chest as I jumped, my body twirling in the air to switch my direction before my feet struck the soil, locking me in place. I watched with endless amusement as Alice's eyes widened in surprise, a gasp escaping her lips before her body skittered to a stop. Her raven hair swayed in front of her eyes, her beautiful face breaking out into a smile before turning her body from me and dashing in the opposite direction. Tinkling laughter left a trail to the beautiful pixie as I prowled, fingertips brushing the wet soil before shooting off after Alice.

My eyes scanned the forest, swirling around as my muscles moved smoothly over my bones, feeling the familiar tingling sensation crawl through my body. I tried to prevent the transformation but my beast inside had grown impatient, wanting to be freed once more to release its full speed. A sigh fell from my lips as my knees buckled, sending my body into the dirt, my fingernails digging into the ground as my skin twitched and tightened. I bit my lip as my bones stretched and twisted, forming different structures as my skin stretched and fur grew sprouted.

My neck lifted, holding up my heavier head as my fangs brushed against the inside of my mouth. I shook my fur quietly, the dust rolling off my body as my muscles sighed in relief, the strain and stress of transforming gone, leaving only the thrill of the chase in hand. A heavy breath escaped as I roared, my voice echoing through the silent forest, crashing through the air to reach a certain pixie. My spine moved smoothly to stretch to its fullest length, my paws letting their claws extract to scratch the dirt. My paws below me trotted lightly through the wet ground, my heart bloated with tranquility, loving the sensation of the wet leaves sticking to my fur as I brushed pass them.

My pace quickened as I continued through the murky forest, following the beautiful smell of Alice. The sound of my paws hitting the forest floor reverberated off the trees as my breathing became heavier, my heart was filling the silence as I turned and raced to find the little pixie. The trees became distant blurs as I shot between trees, my breaths fanning out in the air, warming the cold air.

My heart lurched in my chest as the trail of Alice's fragrance ended immediately, disappearing as I shot past a tree. My claws ripped through the dirt as my body skidded to a stop, my neck shot up smelling the air to search for the familiar aroma. I huffed out a frustrated breath as I found nothing, trotting back to the part of the forest where her scent was strongest.

After searching for the little pixie and finding nothing, I found myself letting my body drop to the ground, my heart twisting in my chest as worry flashed inside. A sigh escaped as I collapsed on the floor, rolling my body to lie on my back, my paws stretching over my head before curling to my side.

My ears perked at the sound of light giggling above me as my heart fluttered in my chest, my head shot up to stare up in the light mesh of branches. There, sitting sweetly on a branch, was Alice; her ankles crossed as she swung them quietly. The sun behind her broke through the heavy clouds to shine on her back, lighting up the air as the sun brushed past her dazzling skin, shining brightly in the dark forest. Simultaneously my heart stuttered as my stomach back flipped, my eyes widening at the sight.

Alice smiled sheepishly down at me, her head turning slightly to hide from the startling sun, her skin dimming into the smooth marble as her arms dazzled like diamonds. Hesitantly I rolled from my back to lie on my paws, my head lifting up to stare in pure awe, my eyes sparkling as Alice shone like an angel. My back arched, lifting my body from the dirty ground as my limbs moved without permission, each muscle moving involuntarily as I trotted to the base of the tree. Shifting my weight easily from my front paws to rest on the back paws as I placed my claws on the rough bark. Swiftly my arms pulled me up the tree as my claws shot through the rough skin of the tree, moving me towards Alice, her eyes locked on me as I climbed the tree.

My claws pulled me up to the branch Alice was resting on, her body laying peacefully down to rest on the branch behind her as she rested her head on her arm. Her ivory fingers ran through the blackness of her hair, a lopsided grin ensnarled Alice's lips. I shook my head, marveling at the mythical creature in my eyes as I stretched along the branch, letting my paws fall on either side of the branch as my tail flickered back and forth from each side. With a huff of breath I placed my head on Alice's lap, a loud purr vibrating in my chest as her cold fingers stroked my head, her other fingers playing with the small whiskers on my muzzle. I let my eyes flutter close as my heart filled with warmth for a moment, loving the sensation of her fingers brushing against my fur, or the way my heart fills with the amount of love that attacked it, for once allowing the love to enter my body without the undertone of pain.

I was not sure how long we just sat there, my mind lost in the bliss of the moment as my purr was answered by the lighter thrumming of her light purring. I lifted my head from Alice's lap, her skin leaving the refreshing brisk cold on my skin as my body overheated. I shook my head quickly as a yawn escaped my mouth, my tongue curling as my mouth opened at an impossible size. I was answered by the heart-warming giggle that paralyzed my heart.

Then as I looked up to stare into Alice's eyes, the most romantic thing happened.

My stomach grumbled.

It roared within as my stomach gnawed on nothing, my focus switched from Alice to the pain in my stomach as it twisted and ached inside. The sound caught me completely off guard, startling me as the roar rumbled in my stomach, causing me to lose my balance as my tail froze in the air. Alice yelped as my body slipped from the branch, falling to hit the ground with a loud and painful _thump_. A low whimper escaped my mouth as I rolled onto my back, shaking the dirt and dizziness that clouded my mind.

"Bella!" My head lifted to see Alice leaping off the branch to fall gracefully upon the floor, her legs taking no notice to the impact of the ground. Instead, she landed lightly upon the soil as if she weighed nothing, her hair falling down perfectly against her face as her small child like hand reached out to stroke my fur. My eyes fluttered closed at the simple touch of her small hand, her cool hand brushing past my fur as it tickled my eyelids. Alice kneeled down next to me, her hand falling down to rub my stomach, small circles being drawn out on my fur as she smiled adoringly down at me, her eyes sparkling in the dim light. "Was that your stomach?" Light giggling followed her soft words, her light murmur bringing my skin to twitch with the sudden electric twist coursing through me.

I purred heavily as I moved my head, nuzzling it into Alice's neck, taking deep breaths of the sweet aroma that encircled her. My head turned away slightly as I winced, my eyes shooting close as the pain in my stomach made its self clear, anger and impatient as it roared inside. A sigh fell from both or lips as we separated, my body turning away from her as I stretched, shaking my head with irritation. Sean will be wondering where I am by now. Another light sigh fell but was ignored as cool arms wrapped around my body, returning soft and warm affection. My head angled down to look at Alice, my heart fluttering at the sight of the smaller girl. I turned my head to look in the direction of the small pixie, my body lying out on the cool glossy grass in an invitation. Alice's eyes widened before a bright smile took her lips, she giggled lightly before jumping easily upon my back, her fingers entwining with my fur as she laid her forehead down to my head, nuzzling her lips against my silky fur. My heart melted from the amount of warmth that seemed to shoot through my limbs and settle on my beating heart.

Quietly I got up to my feet, trotting lightly as Alice lied her cheek down, her eyes wide as she looked upon the silent forest as it meshed together. The landscape slowly changed from the thick forest to thin out as the sound of the trickling creek rushed through the rocks, reaching the lake in the end. My eyes found our little meadow, the creek running right through as it stayed in its inky black appearance. I sighed in relief as my paws dipped in, relishing the cool sensation that climbed up my arms to nestle in my fur. Cool fingers brushed against my fur, letting my body focus on a different sensation, an electric buzz humming inside of me as Alice stroked my fur, her cool legs brushing my fur as my tail flicked around my body. I sighed in content before jumping out of the creek, trotting around to look for my wolf. The rough boulder jagged outwards, the surface long since warm as the sun had hidden behind the heavy clouds.

I crouched low, biting back a purr as Alice's fingers tightened in my glossy fur, letting my legs push me forward as my claws scraped against the rough rock, pulling me upwards. Once my body pushed upwards to land on the flatness of the rock I felt Alice's muscles release as a light sigh escaped her lips, her fingers loosening their death grip. I looked behind my shoulder to see Alice nuzzling her head into my fur, her head hiding in the fur as I nudged her with my nose; she just shook her head, eliciting a deep purr to vibrate out of my chest.

"Bella! Where have you..." The husky voice drifted off as his large hazel eyes fell upon me, flickering to Alice then back once more to me. His dark eyelashes fluttered rapidly before his eyebrows lifted, his lips twitching with a smile as his dark wavy hair swayed over his surprised hazel eyes. Sean chuckled sweetly, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, his bronze skin twitching around his lips as his smile continued to grow. My head fell down from Alice as blood reached my face in embarrassment, my fur bristling as the boy continued to chuckle. My skin felt painfully aware of Alice's movements, how her light body shook with the heavy sigh, how her hands fell down from my head, running her fingernails through my fur to land by her legs. Another sigh fell from the pixie before she let her legs slide down my side, her feet making a soft thud once she touched the soil, her smile slightly forced as she turned away from me.

I immediately felt broken as she left my back, her presence leaving me as my heart started to drown in the crashing emotions in my body. I bit back a whimper as I faced Sean, anger and depression starting to course through my veins.

Sean stretched his arms above his head before they fell back and crossed around his chest, his hazel eyes losing some warmth as the large hazel flickered to Alice's pained features, confusion clouding his face.

"Enjoying a morning run?" Sean broke out in a crooked grin, his large eyes still on Alice as his eyes clouded with confusion. My head twitched to Alice as she stared down at the ground, her smile vacant from emotion causing my heart to stutter in pain, my body starting to constrict and twist as my secret love bit her lip, her eyes somber. I growled in irritation, my ears flickering backwards as I bared my teeth at Sean, my claws extracting to test the solid ground. Sean's eyes flickered to mine before falling to the ground, shame written on his face as his gaze continued to dance between Alice and me.

The silence seemed to weigh heavily on everyone's shoulders as my lips stayed locked, unable to ease the tension and uncomfortable silence. Sean coughed into his hand as his long fingers ran through his dark locks; Alice seemed content on staring off into the distance as we all suffered in the awkward silence. Eventually my heart could not take this tension anymore so my head snapped upwards as an irritated breath huffed out of my mouth, my ears flickering backwards as my shoulders hung limply on my body, tired of the deafening silence. Alice seemed to snap out of her blank trance, shaking her head as her beautiful eyes blinked rapidly. She turned her head to me, smiling before reaching a hand out to brush my fur, her fingers knotting into the striped coat. Alice bit her lip nervously before looking up into my gaze, her golden eyes melting into me.

A final sigh left her mouth as she opened her mouth to speak; my muscles lied in anticipation, waiting for the tinkling voice to fill the air.

"Bella, are you coming back to the house…with me?" Alice's soft tinkling words left my heart to constrict in my chest as my eyes fell from her face to rest on the ground. Anger bubbled within me as I felt the pain slice through my heart, why can't I just let this pain go, why do I cling to my torment instead of releasing it? It's obvious that the Cullens just want to have a second chance, yet even when I felt happy yesterday, pain shoots through me at the thought of willingly meeting my once family again. Alice noticed the small wince and sighed, her eyes falling from my face to rest on her shoes, her fingers relaxing in my fur. "It's okay…you d-don't have too." Alice wrapped her arms around my neck before nuzzling her head into my fur coat, her eyes shutting tightly before jumping away. She waved quietly before taking off towards her house, her shoulders shaking slightly as her eyes filled with misery. I watched her go as my beast growled in irritation, angered by my pathetic emotions. A huff of breath caught my attention; I twitched my head to look over at Sean who was looking at me strangely, his eyes torn between confusion and irritation.

"Why didn't you go with her?" His hazel eyes flickered to the forest where the pixie had run off through, her eyes miserable. Sean cocked his head to the side as a sigh fell from my lips, my body going limp from exhaustion, the faint pain from my stomach returning to bite in my flesh. "I mean you seemed happy with them yesterday? What changed?" His husky voice seemed light with confusion, his fingers running through his dark hair as he looked back to me. When I didn't answer, Sean sighed, shaking his head as he walked over to me, placing a hand on my fur as he sat next to me. I tried to hold back the whimper as his hot skin burned my flesh, wishing for the cool hands to soothe the burn. His scorching hands brushed through my coat before lacing his fingers together, a frown on his face as he stared off into the dark sky. The clouds seemed desperate to lose the freezing water that they contained, darkening, as the sun remained hidden, losing interest in the world beneath it. "I guess I just don't like seeing the small girl looking hurt, 'cause you always look in pain when she does." I lifted my head in surprise, looking up at Sean's worried face, his face etched with concern. "I'm not oblivious, Bella, it's pretty obvious the way you look when Alice is upset…which I think I have a theory as to why you both look miserable." I propped my body up as I stared up at him, my head cocking to the side as his face cracked into a smile. "I'm not going to tell you, you need to figure it out by yourself!"

An exasperated groan broke through as I collapsed back onto the cool rock beneath me, closing my eyes to listen to Sean's quiet chuckling.

"I think you should go to them." I peeked under my eyelids to see Sean's boyish face close to mine, his back resting on the rock as he stared down at me. My heart cracked but I swallowed the pain, allowing myself to get up from the ground to stand up, my joints popping back to place as I shook my body. Sean jumped up in excitement, stretching and twisting his lean back, letting his spine crack as he rolled his neck, smiling as I winced with every pop in his spine. I glared at the wolf boy as his grin turned lopsided, my mind instantly comparing his grin to the adorable lopsided grin on Alice. There really was no comparison, but my heart fluttered at the image in my mind anyway, lost in all of the beautiful details of the pixie. She was so beautiful…and I was just…me. Although I was no longer the clumsy human she used to have to take care of, cook meals as I constantly tripped over my own feet, their wasn't even a sliver of a chance that Alice could want me. The beautiful graceful vampire would find another, her mate to hold onto, as I would watch from the sidelines, always wanting more. I swallowed heavily as my heart twisted in my chest, jealousy burning in my body to boil my blood as my stomach knotted in ropes.

Sean walked with me as I paced slowly to the house of the Cullens, my mind lost in thought as the murky forest branched out to let small patches of grass cover the ground as flowers struggle to find the sun. My eyes lifted from the ground as my claws dug lightly into the rich soil, feeling the lingering warmth from hours ago when the sun showed its face. I sighed as my body continued to quiver, my stomach twisting with hunger and the nervous virus that clutched my body, sending its poisonous symptoms through me. Sean caught the slight tremor and let his hand reach up to brush my coat, his warmth both causing my mind to relax and yearn for the colder touch.

I shivered as a light wind brushed by my face, instinctively closing my eyes as the brush of wind shot a familiar smell through my nose.

"Bella! You came!" Her light tinkling voice caused my muscles to relax, my heart swelling with warmth as joy replaced the misery in her voice. I blinked and opened my eyes to look down upon a smiling pixie, her arms wrapped around my neck as her body fit tightly against my chest. A single paw lifted from the ground to pat Alice's back as her head snuggled into my warm fur. I tried to hold back a purr but it proved to be impossible so I gave in to the temptation.

I twitched my head to see Sean smiling at me, his eyes wide as his smile grew into an understanding grin, like I had just told him an answer he has been searching for. My muscles twitched with the idea of what he had found but ignored his smile as light purring answered me, my head falling to rest upon the light raven hair.

Cold fingers slid up from my neck to stroke my jaw, caressing my fur with their stone like touches, reaching up to lightly pull at my ears. I shook my head, nudging the giggling pixie, whose small little fingers grabbed a hold of my ear, tugging it lightly in response. My heart swelled with warmth as Alice's light laughter wrapped itself around me, awakening the beast inside. I shivered as my muscles twitched, my mind loosing itself to the small pixie in front of me. Sean chuckled behind me, his warm fingers knotting themselves in my coat before patting the fur down, a smile on his boyish face as his eyes glowed with joy, flickering between Alice and me.

My stomach filled with light butterfly wings, flapping inside as I trotted through the large door, shaking my fur as I studied the house once more, lost in its beauty. Tall creamy white walls caged me as I stepped in the house, the swirling smell of Alice wrapping around me as my eyes studied the house, my eyes finding beauty and delicacy throughout the house. Windows lay open as the dark sky seeped in, shadowing the room with its sorrowful beauty. Russet tiles stay smooth on the ground as a beautifully detailed rug smoothed over the tiles, opening my eyes to its detailed fur. An auburn chair lay abandoned as the occupants sitting in it jumped to their feet, delicate soft locks of blonde blind my eyes as I follow the curtain of hair to the person. Her features soft and warm, the glowing gold that swirled in her eyes brightened as they rested on me. Booming laughter stricken my ear as the bear like man wrapped an arm around Rosalie, his eyes light and sweet as they danced over my form, his lips tugging into an enormous grin.

"Awe, kitten, you came!" My ears shot back as I narrowed my eyes at him, my mouth opening to growl lightly at the Emmett, his face brightening with his gleaming white teeth flashed from under those smirking lips. My lips snarled back into a smile, my fangs gleaming in the dim light as I stuck my tongue out at him. Emmett rumbled with laughter, his face softening as he jumped over the small coffee couch in front of him, his hand ruffling my fur lovingly. I rolled my eyes lightly before nudging the large man in the chest, nuzzling softly before turning my head away, letting the small burn in my heart to strike. My head fell down to see Alice, her eyebrows knitting together before falling, her eyes flashing with hurt before disappearing in the golden vortex of her eyes. Alice smiled softly at me before lacing her fingers through my fur, pulling on the bright orange strands that fell between her fingers.

"Come on Bella, I'll get you some clothes." I followed the small pixie without a word as my padded feet brushed past tiled wood to soft carpet that brushed between my clawed paws. A sigh fell as I slipped into the small bedroom, my lungs filling with the concentrated smell of Alice, my beast roaring within as the aroma wrapped around me. Alice disappeared before placing a long flowing skirt, its dark fabric as smooth as velvet and a white V-neck next to me by the bed. I sighed sadly, as I stared down at the clothes, missing my comfortable sweats and baggy t-shirt.

I let my muscles relax, my body sagging as I waited for Alice to leave the room, my eyes resting on her expectantly. Alice was staring at the floor, her expression blank as she fell from the present to rest in her thoughts, her face clouded as her eyes misted over. My heart started to beat heavily in my chest, slowly making my way to the small girl, her fingers twisting a lock of her hair absentmindedly. Softly I pushed my forehead against Alice's head, my nose brushing lightly against her raven like hair, letting the pleasant buzz of electricity tingle in my heart. A pair of golden eyes cleared through their mist, looking hesitantly up at me as her lips pulled up into a soft smile. I ignored the sweet flutter of my heart and nudged my head against her once more, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. Alice looked up at me, her eyes flickering around the room until they lied on the pair of clothes on her bed, shooting back to my face. Her eyes widened suddenly as her head dropped, a sheepish and embarrassed smile forming on her lips as her hand reached up to pull lightly on her hair.

"R-Right…you uh have to c-change." Her bell voice grew quieter as she finished her sentence, her eyes flickering to my body under her eyelashes to immediately shoot back to the floor. I cocked my head to the side as the small pixie dashed out of the room, lightly closing the door behind her, leaving me alone in an empty room, longing for Alice.

I gasped slightly as the transformation took place, my bones tingling as they snapped in different forms and reattaching muscles to place, ligaments stretched to form the thread like connections. My bright fur disappeared as my creamy skin showed through, my chestnut hair with slashes of dark created a dark curtain around my head. My eyes fell down to my slender fingers, studying the delicate curve of my human form, the nails smooth and pale as a milky half moon lied on the bottom of each nail. Flexing the muscles, I reached my hand over to rub my sore neck, slowly releasing the tight muscles and smoothing the wild hair on my head. I let my hand fall, slowly tracing the fine silk of my skirt, the smooth V-neck caressing against my skin as the shirt slipped over my head.

I looked at myself in the tall mirror; the tall, slimming form stared back at me. Electric blue eyes narrowed at me, the slits widening as the light in the room slowly died. The static orbs traced my form, trying to find something that could be possibly beautiful, something that could stand out to a certain pixie. My shoulders were stiff as they straightened on my body, my muscles twisting uncomfortably as my harsh eyes searched for something that was sure to fall blindly against them. Smooth curls in my hair fell to my back as the colors fought each other, chestnut lighting up in the sun as onyx kept its darkening strips. My fingertip brushed against my cheekbones, the bones underneath the creamy skin was sharp and defined, as the skin remained harder than the once softer flesh. Rosy red lips curled as my sharp fangs nibbled lightly on the softer skin, my fingernails ripping through the dark locks in my hair as frustration started to roar in my body. How could I possibly stand out to Alice, her sweet beautiful face would look right past me to her "future mate."

My stomach curled and twisted in disgust, depression cornering my heart and leaking in through the bloodstream to slowly kill my body, slowly burning and nipping at my flesh.

Shaking my head, my hair hid the tired eyes, hiding the depression as I walked out of the lone bedroom; my fingers yanking open the weak door to find two wide golden eyes staring up at me. My heart stuttered in surprise as a sweet smile graced the pixies face, her eyes glowing with happiness as she smiled up at me, fingers reaching out to entwine with mine. Her cool fingers enclosed around my warm ones, causing my heart to silence in my chest before jumping to life as my stomach decided to drop. Rosebud lips twitched in the corners to form a small smile, her fingers tightening around mine.

I turned my head, ripping my eyes from her lips as a shaky breath escaped, my heart hammering at the simple touch. Alice led me silently down the stairs, our hands locked together as I trailed behind her, my eyes flickering to our hands in delight.

Once we made it down the stairs, I expected Alice to release my hand, my heart already sinking at the idea, but she never did. Instead, she pulled me closer, her small cold hands still wrapped around mine. I tried to hide the small shiver that crawled up my spine, eliciting tingles and electric currents throughout my body.

I forced my eyes away from the delightful scene to see Sean smiling brightly at our interlocked fingers, his smile reflecting all of the other Cullen's as we trotted down stairs, making are way to the family room. My heart was nearly bursting with the joy and tranquility of the moment until my eyes fell upon dark onyx eyes, locked upon my fingers as a low growl filled the room. Alice's hands tightened as her body shivered slightly, flinching into me as the glowering eyes flickered to the small pixie, a snarl making its way out of his growling lips. My eyes shot to Edward as a hiss escaped my lips, my muscles tightening as he growled at _my_ Alice, making the small pixie flinch. My beast was roaring in furry as my blood started to boil, eyes shooting up to my face as my eyes shot daggers at Edward.

The dark pit less eyes glanced at me, igniting in anger before he jerked his gaze away, relaxing against the wall as he ran his pallid fingers through the unruly bronze hair. His snarl slowly fell into a grimace allowing my body to relax, the threat diminished as my muscles smoothed out the tight knots within. A movement caught my eye as my gaze glanced towards Esme, her hazelnut locks of hair swishing in the air, the large golden orbs widening as a low and constant _beep _filled the air. Quickly, Esme's smooth fingers opened the oven door, letting the warmth seep into the room, drifting a delicious smell of soft fluffy pancakes. A loud groan filled the air as my stomach roared within, ripping to the front of my mind as it screamed for attention. Every eye closed on to my stomach as I blushed a deep crimson, my hand falling to silence my wild stomach.

The room seemed to fill with laughter, my blush burning deeper as everyone shot surprised faces towards the rebellious stomach. Esme's face brightened as she placed the delicious pancakes on the counter, setting cut fruits next to it with sweet whip cream by its side. My lungs constricted as the pain in my stomach increased, constricting as it gnawed on the inside of its walls. The strings connecting my heart pulled tightly in my chest as my mind rolled back to painful memories of this exact moment, Esme's warm motherly face bright with joy as I came to eat her delicious meal. In the end, she would stroke my hair and plant a loving kiss on my forehead, causing my poor heart to swell with its love.

I forced my eyes to rip from the plate of food, my eyes resting on anything else, anything to distract me of the pain in my stomach. Sean was staring at the food with a look of pure yearning and desire clear on his face, not even attempted to hide as his hand rubbed his growling stomach.

"I thought you would be hungry, so I made some pancakes." Esme's sweet voice drifted to my ears, my eyes drifting to the plates of heaven. Inside I was twitching with pain and clenching as my muscles constricted painfully. How long has it been since I have eaten? Especially the kind of food that caused my head to swirl with longing, as I got dizzy in its delectable aroma, food that tasted good on my tongue, not just a random deer that I had hunted.

"It's okay Esme…you didn't have to do that…" Esme brushed away my words, moving in front of me to grab a hold of my arm, leading me to the delicious plate of food, the sweet strawberries calling out for me. The cool fingers in my grasp loosened in my hand, letting go as dread struck my heart, the cold fingers bringing out all of the calm and soothing touch as they left. I looked over my shoulder to see Sean, his hazel eyes locked on the plate of food as his stomach growled inside, his lips quivering as the delectable smell drifted to his nose. I faintly heard a small whimper come from the wolf boy making my heart drop at the weak sound. My head twitched to the side to see Esme's soft and caring face, looking up at Sean with a kind smile as she lead him to the table, patting him lightly on the arm as he walked by. Sean's hazel eyes widened as he glanced at the motherly Cullen, adoration and admiration struck in the giant hazel eyes before falling down to devour his meal.

I winced quietly as I grasped the smooth fruit, my teeth slowly brushing through the red flesh of the strawberry. My throat constricted as the fruit slowly moved down to fall in the empty stomach, immediately sending a great amount of pain through my gut to burn in my heart. A small whimper escaped me as my stomach constricted, my hands falling to soothe the knotting muscles.

"Bella, what's wrong sweetie?" I turned my face to see the angel with bright sun locks, her golden eyes glazed with worry as the ivory fingers fell lightly against my shoulder. Rosalie's eyebrows furrowed with worry as she stroked my shoulder causing me to smile at the sisterly love she provided.

"I'm fine, I just haven't eaten in…" The question drifted off as the answer seemed to lock in the back of my mind, getting lost in the liberty my mind. "Five days?" That can't be right…

My eyes drifted up to meet Esme's dark eyes, wide with worry and anger, glaring deep into my deep blue gaze.

"You haven't eaten in five days?" Her tone was drenched with worry, small spikes of anger showing through her voice as her smile slipped off her face. I just shrugged, my mind momentarily shocked, as Esme's eyes got darker, her lips twitching downward to form a frown. A heavy sigh fell from her lips that quickly morphed into a snarl as her fingers ran through her hair. "Bella, you have to take better care of yourself." My eyebrows shot up in surprise before furrowing, my lips pulling down into a frown as my eyes froze on Esme. Well, I'm sorry that I was forced into a beast, unable to cook for myself, as I had to force myself to eat raw deer. The image of ripping my teeth in the soft skin, pulling and tearing the muscles to pieces as blood drenched my mouth, the acidic liquid laying heavily on my tongue as it slid down my throat. I let a heavy breath rush through my teeth, my fingers dropping the small fruit as they twitched in agitation. I was about to open my mouth to speak my mind, venom already laced through my words as my eyes lifted to meet Esme's. The words died in my throat as I meet the desperate coal like eyes staring into me, pain clearly written on Esme's face as my anger fell limply inside. "Please?" Her voice cracked lightly sending pain that shot through my heart, slowly pulling at my heartstrings. I sighed heavily as my head fell, my fingers grasping the fork next to as I stabbed the metal devise into the victim, placing the soft buttery pancake into my mouth. Esme's face lit up into a smile making my heart beam in its light.

A warm hand ruffled my hair as its owner chuckled huskily. I shot my head in Sean's direction, his large eyes brimming with warmth as his plate was left with nothing but crumbs.

"Awe, good kitten." I glared lightly, sticking my tongue out at him as Emmett boomed with laughter, patting the wolf boy lightly on the back.

"Shut it, fur ball." Sean just snorted as he returned to his meal, stuffing pancakes into his mouth as they fell into his bottomless pit.

The air felt light and sweet, my heart fluttering in my chest as a cool body pressed against mine, her small pixie like fingers enclosing onto my free hand as her chin rested on my shoulder. I couldn't hold back the happy purr as I glanced at Alice, her eyes swirling with butterscotch and warm with affection, our bodies scorched by the warmth of the moment, the peace falling lightly in everyone's chest. I sighed happily, as I engraved the happy moment into my mind, my lips tugging into a smile as Emmett ruffled Sean's wavy black hair, his hazel eyes widening as a large grin took his lips.

Nothing could change this moment, absolutely nothing.

"Bella? Can I talk to you?" A silky velvet voice reached my ears as my muscles constricted my heart filling with anger as my beast roared in my chest. The peace slipped through my fingers as his hand fell lightly on my back, my shoulders stiffening at the unwanted touch.

Damn it.

**Updates will be REALLY hard to do now that school has started. **

**I know most of you want to kill me because I didn't let Alice and Bella kiss, I really wanted to but there is just so much stuff in the way before them having a relationship would even work. Actually no, I just didn't want to rush it. I wanted you to see a little more of Bella's struggle because she really JUST found out last chapter that she was in love with Alice, and she is kind of oblivious about her feelings and everyone else's feelings. I kind of want more pain from her because I am a sadistic person. Anyways, till next update.**

**Please Review; you have no idea what it means to me.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclamier: I have never done this! Strange. Anyway, I own absolutley nothing. Nope, nada. La…lala.**

**A/N: Okay so I know it was a really**_** really**_** long gap between my chapters but I have a **_**ton**_** of excuses. School was actually a **_**big**_** part of it, as well with the numerous deaths in my family and my sister going away for college and my grandmother getting very ill. So yes, I was rather depressed, and when **_**I **_**am depressed, I tend to torture my charectors…you will see this for Bella. I know, im so cruel to her. Oh well. **

**Review please! **

A rumbling growl crawled up my throat to break through my lips, causing a thick silence to thunder in my ears, building tension throughout the air and swirling in the back of my head.

The skin where _his_ cold fingers rested now twitched with his unwanted icy touch; the muscles, stretched thin on my back, seemed to freeze when his fingertips brushed against the thin shirt I wore, creeping through the seams to ghost past my skin. The growl in my throat became thunderous as the hand refused to leave, continuing to touch my skin while my anger sparked within, blazing widely in the pit of my stomach, slowly burning its way through me.

Faintly I felt cold fingertips tighten around my hand, the touch so different from its brothers; it was soft and sweet. Its' very touch brought waves of calm to wash away my anger lazily while the small movement of her thumb smoothed over my skin, sending small sparks of electricity to bite through me.

I forced my growl to diminish while turning my head to the slender fingers that wrapped securely around mine, threading small sweet promises through my skin while her brother growled his own promises. Immediately my gaze gallivanted towards Edward's hand that caused such uproar in my body. Rebellious thoughts thundered in my mind as my beast succumbed to dark and twisted fantasies. Under my gaze, I witnessed the small tremble in his ivory skin – the sharp marble moving swiftly along the bones and his large, stiff fingers twitching away from the woven threads upon my shirt.

Relief rippled through me as the contact was removed and my beast settled in my chest, allowing the twisted thoughts to unwind themselves from my mind. But then the dark images seemed to creep under my eyelids to rest upon my electric iris, blurring my vision with its horror.

Edward's hand drifted from next to me to casually wrap their fingertips through cinnamon hair on top his head – the bronze strands twirling as they lit up in the bright artificial light above our heads, his amber eyes darkening to an endless abyss. Sharp cheekbones jutted from underneath his pallid stone skin, his lips sharp as they pursed into a rough line, his eyes burning with endless anger and irritation.

I took a steady gulp of air while my eyes settled upon Edward's gaze, my chin involuntarily rising to present a challenge. I felt my face harden like stone, my eyes flashing dangerously while I raised a single eyebrow, appraising the man in front of me in caution. In a flash, Edward let a crooked smile creep upon his face while he abandoned his previous anger to adopt a look of innocence.

My stomach churned with disgust that sunk like metal in the pit of my stomach. It was too fake, this crooked grin or his warm butterscotch eyes, quickly burning from its previous anger to act on deceit. I let my gaze break from Edward to rest upon Esme, her honey-glazed eyes sunk lower to the floor as a look of exasperation graced upon her features, drowning in her light butterscotch eyes. Deep caramel hair twirled sweetly between fingertips as she waited for the moment to disappear, her eyes fighting to stay closed, as if that could suddenly make everything right again. Out of sight, out of mind.

"What do you want, Edward?" My ears picked up the sound of my own voice, laced with venom and exasperation, irritation spiking through my tone to be acknowledged and noticed.

Edward didn't even flinch, his eyes simply hardened like stone as it darkened like charcoal, the light from the artificial glow getting lost in his dark gaze. Despite the clear irritation, Edward forced a smile upon his lips and stepped forward, the distance between us inching to a close.

Alice's sculpted eyebrows knitted together tightly as the large golden eyes calculated the distance between Edward and me, her lips snarled in response while a line of worry dug deeply into the skin of her forehead. The warmth in her eyes evaporated into nothingness as Edward snarled back, his eyes darting from Alice to return to me once more, cocking his head innocently while his lips formed a deceiving smile.

"I want to talk to you..." His voice drifted off as I turned my back on him, my lips twitching slightly as the tension in the room became suffocating. The only thing keeping my mind in an organized system were the sweet fingers entwined around mine. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing thoughts, my mind throbbing with pain. I know this is immature, to just turn my head away and pretend that he isn't here – it doesn't fix anything. Yet here I am, looking at the wall behind Esme as if Edward never existed behind me, like he was nothing.

_Out of sight, out of mind, they say._ A guttural growl vibrated from behind me, causing the small pixie beside me to return the growl, her hand tightening around mine. _If only_.

I forced myself to look back to Edward, his eyes having shifted down to our entwined hands, a hateful gleam resting in the blackness of his eyes as his lips trembled, waiting to pull back and reveal the sharp teeth underneath. The strings along my heart tightened while his eyes snapped to Alice, narrowing at his sister while her lips pulled into a rough smile, bearing her teeth as she leans into me. I caught my lip harshly between my teeth to bite back the threatening growl that lead down to the raging beast inside; its claws engorged itself upon the pit of my stomach leaving gnarled knots inside.

"Yes, Edward? Are you going to speak to me or just glare at my hand for the rest of the day?" I cocked my head to the side, smiling sweetly at Edward while swinging our entwined hands back and forth, Alice's golden rings brushing lightly against my skin in response. Twelve years really have done nothing to help contain my temper. Edward's eyes snapped from Alice to my gaze, his lips finally relaxing into a soft smile, but his eyes betrayed him… containing raw emotion of hate and anger.

"Yes, I wanted to speak to you for a moment...alone." My eyes narrowed at him, distrust building a burning flame inside of me, strengthening in heat while Edward's hard eyes moved to glower at his sister. Alice silently moved closer to me, abandoning my hand to wrap her arms around my waist, her body pressed sweetly against mine all the while keeping her eyes on Edward. The hand that was abandoned fell back to rest upon the arch of Alice's back, curling against her form to press her closer to me. Electricity hummed between us while inside everything was melting with warmth, her fingerprints imprinting a deep burn to spark to life.

I couldn't help but to look down at the small angel against me, all traces of anger already forgetting its place while I crawl back to Alice, my mind already wandering to return to her. My neck itched to dip lower, leading my head to rest upon the soft billows of hair on top her head, guiding me into a state of bliss while her sweet arms kept me cemented against her. Even my beast was reduced to a small kitten, purring happily inside as we gazed adoringly down at the small pixie, my wild mind settling down to agree with the humanity inside of me.

Then a distant hand came crashing against my small bubble of fantasy, dragging me back to reality. A frost covered hand enclosed around mine, pulling me out of the tight embrace of my pixie. With the broken contact, I snapped my head to Edward, vibrating in the sudden growl as it left my lips, submerging from the depths of my vocal cords to reverberate against the walls. Edward was caught surprised, stumbling a few inches away from me while his looming figure seemed to fold and crease into a frightened masquerade. The short-lived fear died, because once it appeared it vanished, sinking from sight as anger took terror's place. His pale lips curled, revealing an underside of light pink, his sharp teeth hovering over his lower lip. Apparently Edward didn't like to be made a fool of, because his spine suddenly stiffened, sending his defense to crawl out of his everlasting anger, coming to his aid.

"Damn it Bella, I _just _want to speak to you_ alone_, is that really too much to ask? To be given some privacy? Not all of us need to be present and be involved in _my _business." Edward turned his head to snarl at Alice, his anger seething through his tone from his rigid muscles, his long fingers twitching and curling in anticipation. Wait...did he just refer to me as his business? My eyelids blinked while my mind reeled in surprise, his words causing a spiraling anger to rise from inside, encouraging my beast to rise with the anger.

I took a step closer, the sound of my bare feet pressing against the cool wood made a soft echo of a sound, the wood beneath me vibrating with the tension in each stiff body. I kept my eyes locked upon Edward's dark glowering gaze, wanting his attention for once, to be locked on me, to acknowledge the presence of my anger, the very anger that has been repressed for years.

"Excuse me? _I _am not your business, and it's funny that now you want everyone to leave you alone when you were the one that dragged them through with you." Another step took me farther into Edward's anger influenced air, each breath becoming heavier with his own animosity. A single look into his eyes kept me trapped into his steely gaze, iron restraints wrapping around each muscle as the clear challenge pumped through his dark eyes. "Or do you even remember what you have done? Obviously it must have slipped your mind, because otherwise it would have stopped you from even walking up close to me."

Another step padded against the smooth wood underneath me, my light drum of footsteps clashing with a heavier sound of Edward's heavy footfalls, quickly eating up the distance between us. Everyone noticed the small quiver that ran down Edward's throat, revealing the small, vulnerable moment before it was swallowed down, everything closing up into a harsh frozen stone.

"What makes you think I _wanted_this to happen? To leave my family and lose my mate in one day just to find out that everything you did to protect her was for nothing? It all happened anyway. I just wanted to protect you." A dark chuckle cut in through Edward's words, the sound flouncing with a hollow coldness that lashed against everyone's rib cages as it brought out the heart wreck deep inside.

Is that really my voice? That shaking voice that crackles with anger while it quakes weakly, weaving feebly in the air before turning completely hollow, bringing the sorrow nestled heavily in the chambers of my heart to crawl outside. From the corner of my eye, I saw Esme wince slightly, her golden eyes flickering between us while an argument started to boil from the situation. I cringed at the sight of the motherly vampire, guilt twining through the wild weeds of my emotions, growing from nowhere and gain control of this mess of myself. This isn't my fault, I want all of this anger and animosity to be hidden inside again, to never show its face and maybe save us from ourselves.

Yet I take a breath, the air lacking the oxygen needed to deliver the blow of my words, hoping that this could strike the heart of the man in front of me, to take him down and make him _hurt_. To make him feel as miserable as I have, for years.

"Protect me, Edward...really? Do you really think leaving me in the middle of the forest was to protect me? Was that your protection? Then Edward, I must thank you for all that you've done for me." My breath became thick with anger while it filled my lungs, falling in between each word. I felt a small tremble in my hand and peered down to see Alice's slender fingers entangling with my own again, threading together and passing comfort by fingertips.

I returned the small squeeze of my fingers, relishing in the strength that was provided with just her simple touch and taking a small quivering breath while my heart pounded angrily in my chest. I stayed strong, keeping my shoulders stiff while my eyes kept a feral anger trapped in its electric pools. But somewhere inside there was a tremble… a shiver of weakness crawling through my nerves. Edward's eyes searched for this weakness, his dark eyes narrowing while they prowled for something to bite at, yearning to rip away any strength I had kindled inside of me. My lips snarled in response, catching his attention while his eyes trailed to my lips, darkening while they lingered upon the crimson color of my lower lip.

"You must understand, I did it all for you. You have no idea how much I have sacrificed for you...for us." He kept his voice smooth and velvety, basking his words in a blissful understanding, his eyes suddenly containing deep empathy that scorched the darkness in his gaze. "You _have _to give me another chance, to prove myself that I am the man you once loved." At that moment, when his voice drifted off to a dying murmur, I felt all of the eyes drift to rest on me, the pressure forcing weight to lie heavily on my shoulders as everyone waited for my words. Either forgiving or hateful, my words were the decision of this situation, words speaking the truth could prove to be disastrous as forced words could provide comfort and an artificial peace.

My teeth worried my lip as I struggled with these words, each letter slithering heavily upon my tongue, drenched in venom while they lay heavily like honey in my mouth. My eyes focused back onto Edward, searching for any glimpse of a man I once saw, a shard of understanding under his mask of anger. My eyes traced every aspect of him, searching for the man I once knew. My eyes followed the dark shadows underneath his eyes, the deep atramentous eyes underneath dark eyebrows, tracing the harsh cut of his jaw line, the thin curve of his pale lips to his tousled bronze hair.

Outside, Edward looked exactly the same – completely frozen in time while another part of him drifted away, lost in a forgotten past. The man who opened doors for me before sneaking a sweet kiss, the man whose smile set butterflies to life in my stomach. The man who used to stroke my hair lovingly and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, who recited poetry with me, who's smile could stop my heart with its devilish charm. Every part of that man was lost, strangled to death as this wild creature took a hold of his body.

The man I once knew no longer existed, and maybe he never existed, maybe this creature was what was and what ever will be, of Edward Cullen.

A light pressure enclosed against my fingers causing me to look down, trailing my eyes to look upon deep raven locks of hair. My lips pulled up to smile softly at the height of the pixie before lowering my gaze to catch warm butterscotch eyes. Her eyes were glazed with reassurance; a calm induced look while deep down there was an untamed sense of panic that was struggling to be shown. Distress and reassurance claiming the canvas of emotion in her eyes as her head fell lightly against my arm, her glossy hair brushing against my skin. This small interaction soothed the trembling that had coursed through me, calming me slightly while the tension in the room started to loosen the constricting tension from the air. Alice was always such an affectionate creature, always using actions instead of words to display how she felt. I felt my small smile grow larger as I basked in the warmth she provided, my heart fluttering weakly while a surge of happiness attacked me.

My mind drifted away from this moment, falling deeper into the past to settle upon forgotten memories. Forgotten days blurring together to reveal a beautiful mirage of moments embedded deeply in my mind: moments of Alice falling into my embrace, humming softly in my ear while she swayed us sweetly to the rhythm of my heart. Of nights that coaxed the true nature of comfort out of Alice, nightmares long forgotten while her hushed whispers lingered in my ear, secrets being shared in the comfort of the night while secret feelings were created before hiding in the shadows of my mind. It's almost funny, the fact that I had only just realized my feelings for Alice days before. It should have become evident with every flutter of my heart, every movement of mine becoming nothing but an echo of hers. If she moved, it became an involuntary movement from me, shadowing every breath, as if threads had stretched between us, binding me to Alice in a desperate attempt to keep me forever lingering near her. Love had created small twine to tangle in the mess of my heartstrings, the delicate strings becoming harder than steel while it moved to keep the constant connection with the object of my affections.

Slowly I blinked; washing myself back to the present to find myself once again in the war scene battling in front of me. Squeezing the cool fingers in my grasp, I return my gaze to Edward, his composure slowly cracking, failing to hide his _wide_ variety of emotions, flashing between arrogant and angry. Hatred pounded inside his heavy glare, his anger sharpening the emotion to a point while his gaze ripped from me to settle upon his sister.

The words slithered out of my mouth before I had a chance to regret them,

"Edward, _you _must understand the consequences of your decisions, you chose this and it has cost _a lot_ on my part. You want me to see the man I once loved, but I'm looking at him right now and I can't see him anymore. It makes me doubt that you were ever really that man at all." My words hit like nails on wood, cracking through him as his jaw sets tightly, his body swaying slightly as it absorbed the impact of my words. I wait for Edward to regain his thread of well-collected lies but was cut short by a glimpse of vulnerability that swirled in his eyes.

"You act as if I didn't give anything up. I broke my heart for you, sacrificed everything for your protection. I just wanted you to have a normal life, where you wouldn't be forced to live like a monster or live forever! Trust me, Bella, this isn't exactly how I wanted my life to play out, you aren't the only one hurt." Black pit less eyes shot to meet mine while anger coursed through him, his voice somehow salvaging a softness that was pulled from his angry words. My lungs constricted at this, his hurt and broken whisper stroked my heart with pain, sending an odd sense of guilt to crash against me. Our gaze was broken as I looked down at the auburn wood that stretched from the family room before disappearing underneath the dark carpet.

If I was being honest with myself, I understood him to a slight degree. I could see it, the pain that rivaled the anger in his eyes, the anguish that has haunted him for the years that have past. Although his actions proved to have an opposite effect, his intentions were true and pure, to have desperately wanted a loved one to be safe, to break his own heart to protect them. I suppressed another sigh as my beast growled impatiently, its mindset on the raw anger that had coursed through me only moments before. Words accumulated in my mouth as questions started to form in my mind, threading together and breaking down the heated statement that Edward had formed. My eyes shot upwards to meet Edwards gaze, narrowing slightly as his widened.

"Then why the forest, Edward? Why did you leave me in the middle of the forest without a phone, or any sense of direction to get back? For someone who 'broke' his own heart to protect me, you sure did a great job getting me in danger." The words left with increasing venom, snapping out of my lips to strike at Edward, his well-formulated mask crumbling in on itself as his logic dried up. The silence that followed afterwards pulsed through everybody as they waited for Edward's reply, each pair of eyes widening as the seconds ticked by.

"You're right." A sweet whisper of words brushed through his lips as he looked up at me, removed of all anger as his expression softened. "I wasn't thinking about the consequences of my decision, I thought I had lead you to a part of the forest where you could still see the house, but I was obviously wrong. You can never know how much I regret my actions, and how terribly sorry I am." His words should have brought a sense of peace to mind, but instead I just felt sick. His words were sick and sweet, bloated with softness that nearly crossed the line of patronizing, mocking me with his sweet velvety words. I dropped my gaze while barley catching the smug smirk that tugged on his lips, twisted and crooked before disappearing from my sight and appearing innocent once more.

A small motion caught my eye, Alice turning to stare up at me, her expression faltering in its look of indifference while a wild and angry panic settled just beyond her honey-due eyes, her eyebrows knitting together to create deep carvings of worry upon her smooth skin.

"I don't believe you." Edward's eyelids blinked in surprise, narrowing slightly as if he didn't understand my words. Before I started to doubt I had actually spoken English, I caught a small movement from Alice; her shoulders relaxing a fraction while a small exhale of relief broke through her lips, her delicate eyebrows smoothing out to cease the carvings in her forehead, reviving the marble skin. Edward finally caught the meaning of my words, his fingers clenched angrily as his the muscles around his cut jaw set tightly, the soft pleading look in his eyes coiling to look angry.

"And why is that?" It hardly counted as a question, his voice was flat and void of any emotion that didn't consist of seething anger. Inside, the wild creature shifted restlessly in my chest, its claws digging through my muscles in anticipation, waiting for an opportunity to escape. I took a shaky breath of air, attempting to sooth the twisting anxieties that had knotted themselves tightly inside of me.

"Edward, what did you do when you found out that I had died?" I didn't bother waiting for his answer, I wanted the truth, not spoken lies. "Did you go to my funeral and try to comfort my heartbroken father and mother?" I looked up slowly, peeking from underneath the dark curtain of eyelashes to peer at the man. Edward had grown still, my words shortly locking him in a moment of shame while his eyes left me immediately to gaze upon the smooth auburn tiles of the floor. "No, you didn't – you barged into my life, changing everything, and then just drifted away when everything fell apart. If it wasn't for Alice fixing all of your mistakes, I'm sure Charlie wouldn't even be alive today." Shame evaporated slowly as rage and resentment slowly boiled under the surface, Edward's sooty eyes closing to become flat with animosity. I shifted slightly to sneak a glance at Alice, her honeyed eyes swirling with emotion that flared and flashed brightly while a small smile played on her sweet rosebud lips. "Edward, it's been twelve years, and you just walk up to me asking to talk like it's only been a few weeks. So really, I don't think you've given much thought about me at all. So no, I don't believe you."

I gently tightened my grip on the slender fingers I held in my grasp, silently basking in the warmth of her small seemingly meaningless touch. Alice just grinned happily in response while subtly shifting her weight so her body was suddenly leaning against mine, her head resting lightly upon my shoulder. I swallowed a deep purr that struggled to escape, ecstatic at the sudden, unexpected movement while my heart fluttered weakly in my chest.

"So...that's it. I'm not forgiven. What? I don't even get a chance to redeem myself. Alice is praised for helping the _drunk, _but she left too! We all did!"

"That _drunk_ is my father, you ass, and as for redeeming yourself, you're already doing such a great job I don't see the point in continuing." I sneered at the vampire, the blood pulsing in my ears, drowning out any other sound that existed.

The tension in the room had become thick like cement as it locked our bodies in place. It was only when Edward suddenly released a breath when I realized I had been holding mine, my heart waiting in anticipation as we watched Edward's hand reach up and pull at the bronze strands of hair sticking out of his head. The cold fingers that were knitted sweetly with mine tightened while Edward took a step closer causing a sudden ripple of action to strike at me, tightening my muscles as my heart jumped in surprise.

Edward's face lost all recognition as he stepped closer; his eyes were steely with indifference while it swirled within his dark gaze. My throat constricted tightly as my beast growled inside, raging inside as Edward slowly pried open my walls and chains that contained my beast. I felt it growing inside, forcing itself through my bloodstream as anger took control of my mind, the beast within calling a tempting offer to take control, to protect and destroy. My mind misted with anger as my beast charged through my heart, pounding inside with every thump while I tried to see past this blinding anger. I barely took any notice that I had taken a step forward, my eyes locking on Edward before my lips snarling to form a grimace. Then the cool fingers that entwined with mine tightened, tugging on my fingers to call me softly back to her. A sweet scented breath fanned across my arm as Alice's other hand decided to try to coax me back to her, her fingertips tracing the length of my arm to distract me from the overpowering anger that roared inside. With Alice's sweet touch I nearly turned back to her; her sweet, calming aroma settling the wild beast inside for a glorious few seconds, allowing the heavy haze of my anger to clear.

Pain coursed through my arm as a cold hand enclosed around my wrist, tightening painfully while pulling my dead weight towards him.

"Edwar-" Alice's voice broke as a thunderous growl echoed throughout Edward's chest, suffocating the light wind chimed voice, allowing her words to fall silent. My breath caught as his jaw continued to clench tightly, the muscles rippling along his jaw line. My body froze in surprise, taken completely off guard as dark eyes glared at me within inches from my own; the hollows from his cheekbones became more defined as he shifted his gaze from the bodies behind us. Alice was the only one not wearing a shocked expression, her eyes looked wild while they flickered from me to Edward, the silky feather like hair bristling as she prowled closer. "Edward, let go of Bella." Her voice wavered from remaining light as if to soothe her brother, but the strain of the situation lay heavily on her words, forcing small growls to protrude from her lips.

Edward's only response was to tighten his hold, eliciting painful sparks to scatter from my skin and bite through my bone, sending its electric shocks throughout my body. Alice snarled and took a step forward, ignoring how Edward growled in warning, his chest vibrating against my body as I was pushed closer to him, his movements becoming wild and unpredictable. Maybe Alice saw this, the way her brother's sanity seemed to slip from his fingertips or maybe she noticed the way his other hand snaked out to ensnarl in my hair tightly, because she stopped moving, afraid to further upset this unrecognizable creature.

His eyes snapped to mine as he brought my wrist up between us, his fingertips digging painfully into my skin while a distant smile pulled onto his cold lips. "Why?" His voice was soft and sweet as his voice whispered his words gently as if to reassure me, but his eyes scorched me with its dark glare. "Why are you so willing to forgive the rest of my family, but refuse to give me a chance? They didn't protest when I stated my idea, they went along willingly. So why must I be blamed for the misfortune that was pushed upon you if we all carry the responsibility?" Distant growls submerged from the sickening silence, the sound mixing together with guilt and outrage. The hand that tightened on my wrist earned a growl that broke from my lips as pain shot through my limbs. The muscles that clung desperately to my bone twitched and clenched as hard hands tightened, unhappy with the demanding touch of this vampire. I attempted to sliver my hand from his rough grip, this movement was caught and immediately punished, his fingers tightened their hold in my hair while bringing me closer to his chest as his fingernails clenched harder into my skin. I hardly recognized the voice that whispered from my own lips as it released a pained whimper.

"Let me go." My voice cracked with the raw anger that manipulated my tone, which, unfortunately fell on Edward's deaf ears. I could feel the atmosphere tightening as bodies shifted closer, unprepared to deal with this situation. The beast inside was roaring with impatience, knowing our strength was stronger, knowing we could tear away his marble fingers in an instance. I attempted to soothe my creature but apparently, it will only listen to Alice because it growled in irritation. Just keep the peace, Bella.

_What peace?__  
_  
A husky growl protruded from the sun kissed face of Sean while he became increasingly more nervous, his eyes flickering to the family then to me. Wide hazel eyes met mine, deepening with fear as they trailed to see the forceful hand tight on my wrist. Edward gained my attention with a forceful squeeze from his fingertips, eliciting an angry hiss from everyone.

"Not until you answer my question. Why can't I have a second chance when everyone else is forgiven?" Is he really asking this right now? While his fingers create painful bruises on my skin, he asks for a chance. A dark hiss rumbled in my chest as locked my eyes with Edward, trying to ignore the sparks of pain that dances on my skin.

"Why do you _think_ I won't give you another chance?" I gave my wrist with his hand wrapped painfully around it a shake, letting all eyes to lower and glance at the angry marks in my skin. My other hand twitched with the desire to strike back, but I held back, forcing myself to be calm. An answering hiss echoed mine, countering my anger with the force of his voice. I expected a cascade of angry words, but instead I felt air push against my face as a fluid movement was forced through the air and crashed down on the granite counter beside me. Stone cracked and shattered at the force of Edwards hand, the thunderous crack reverberated off the walls while as everyone tensed at the sudden movement.

"What do you _want _Bella! You are wearing my patience and I'm tired of waiting. What can I do to make up for my mistake?" Dry veins pulsed out of underneath the granite skin of Edward as the dark shadows underneath his eyes darkened noticeably, darkening his tarnished eyes.

"I want you to leave me alone, because what you're doing now isn't helping me forgive you in the slightest. Good luck in the future though, because I doubt there will be a day that I will suddenly forget why I am miserable today, that I don't miss Charlie or Renee, or that my future wasn't just demolished because of a reckless decision." My chest heaved with the force of breath that had taken its toll on my lungs. Edwards jaw clenched forcefully while his fingers finally released me to rip through his coiled bronze hair. There was a collected sigh of relief from everybody as Edward's chest shook with the force of his deep breath while his eyelids fluttered close; his fingers still entwined with the wild bronze locks atop his head.

My lungs constricted, ready to spill the angry words that rested upon my tongue, but instead everything relaxed, the beast inside calming down as slender arms wrapped around my waist while the sensation of silky hair brushed past my skin. The beast inside shifted from outrage to trembling with pleasure from the embrace, while her cheek nuzzled my shoulder. Warmth coursed through my system, washing out the tense muscles with soft waves of calm that lazily trickled through my body before pooling in my heart. I felt myself falling into the weak state of calm as my beast forgot about the increasing danger in front of me, pulling me into a haze of warmth. I tried to concentrate on the harsh details of the man before me, how his eyes froze upon the slender arms that wrapped around me but with each waft of Alice's aroma enveloping me I let myself drift farther away.

My heart jumped as a roar shattered the silence, guttural growls erupting from Edward's chest as he lurched forward, his arms coiled like a spring before snapping forward to grasp a hold of Alice's hair, yanking the pixie from behind me. My heart stopped as a cry of pain emerged from her delicate rosy lips, her pixie like form colliding roughly against the wall as the thunderous crack sounded off the walls. Edward turned to make his way to his sister, a twisted smile curling upon his lips.

It was then that everything suddenly grew quiet. The silence surrounded me while screams and growls were made from angry lips, voices swirled heavily around the room while it fell silent against my ears. Bodies pushed against each other, whipping past me in unsuccessful attempted to help their fallen pixie. Words blurred together while losing their meaning as Alice's head slammed against the wall again. A hard hand clamped against her neck tightly and brought her close to his face to allow a slur of tainted words to linger in her ear. Horror pounded inside of me, berating against my rib cage as the lingering warmth in my body grew cold. The presence of bodies around me seemed to disappear while my bare feet padded softly against the cool wood, my eyes focused on nothing but _my _pixie, and the monster that had attacked her. A surge of anger pulsed through me burning painfully throughout me while I stepped through the heavy venom induced haze around me, my mind locked on Alice's panicking eyes. I felt this burning anger burn widely in my fingers and in my legs, in the hollows of my eyelids before shaking through my skull, snarling through my spine and down with every breath.

Faintly I noticed Alice's dark eyes widening as they flashed to my face, swirling with fear as her brother tightened his hand on her throat. My gaze flickered from Alice to the tense shoulders in front of me, his shaking muscles twitching in oblivion while dark and promising words flowed easily from his lips causing fear to strike at the pixie's heart, whimpering softly as his hand tightened. Gently, almost tenderly, I let my hand fall to the back of Edward's neck, my fingertips grazing the stone skin lightly before leading up to twist my fingers in the dark copper strands. His entire body froze, his shoulders shaking slightly in anticipation while my chest ached with the force of my growls.

Then within a heartbeat, my hand snapped back, pulling Edwards copper hair downwards as a satisfying cry of pain broke through his lips. With another yank Edward slammed into the ground, the force of his body cracking against the wood flooring thundered in the sudden silence. My fingers twitched with the desire to tear and rip at his skin, my teeth aching to pull and bite at his throat while my heart beat a frenzied song in my chest. Edward swiftly got up from the ground, the cracks in his skin sowing themselves back together and quickly disappearing from existence.

Words slithered out of his mouth but they weren't heard, the meaning of words slipped my mind as my arm coiled, waiting for the acknowledgement to flash before Edwards eyes before whipping forward and connecting with his smooth jaw, instantly cracking the marble bone beneath his stone skin. My eyes observed the pain splinter in his eyes as his spine bent to absorb the force of my punch, barely recovering from its attack before my fingernails found themselves ensnarled in Edward's skin. A strangled growl coursed through Edward's lips as my nails raked over his eyes, momentarily blinding the man. Deep canyons were created in the smooth flawless skin as its surface cracked under my nails, scratching farther down from the hollows of Edward's cheeks, to his strong shoulders to finally cut deeply into his chest. Though my world was consumed with silence, I saw through the thick haze of my anger the fear swirl in deep onyx pits, lips twisting to form cries of pain. While the beast roared in pleasure somewhere inside I cringed, feeling myself slip farther away from reality as I watched my destruction through a heavy mist.

I felt like I was screaming, thrashing inside my body's restraints as my beast took control, now free from its chains. Claws protruded from my fingertips, ripping farther into Edward as each hand fell down to cut deeply into him. His arm suddenly wrapped around my body, pulling me tightly to his body in a desperate attempt to stop the relentless slashes from my nails. I twisted in his embrace to dig my nails in his skin, sinking my teeth into the marble. Inside I felt the adrenaline fueling the beast inside, encouraging the monster to tear farther into our enemy, but somewhere lost inside was a whisper that pleaded for me to stop. Edward growled, swinging his arm to make an impact with me to only catch air, my legs suddenly buckling to avoid the unexpected attack.

Before I could even stop myself, my body lurched forward, pushing my hands against Edward's strong chest, pushing him from his position to underneath me. Repeatedly, my arm coiled backwards, snapping forward with a sudden force to break the hard bones underneath Edward's flawless skin, his head lashing to the side with every pounding fist. My stomach twisted for a moment, curling with disgust as an image of tearing muscles apart from bone, ripping apart the smooth skin that clung to his body. The horror of the image shot through my mind, momentarily clearing the heavy fog in my thoughts to let, for a split second, doubt and hesitation to flicker into my motions. My arm suddenly stopped in the air, halting in its motion to attack Edward, torn between destruction and peace.

Apparently, only a flicker of hesitation was all Edward needed, his face contorted in outrage as his eyes held a certain flame of hatred to swell in the endless black pits. A sharp pain settled on the base of my stomach as the wind shot past me, whistling softly in my ear before my body slammed into the strong wall behind me. The sound of my collision sounded off the walls, reverberating through the air to sound of the walls crumbling in on its self-settled in the air. White-hot pain seared through my head, raging widely inside as small whimpers escaped my lips. I winced slightly as I felt cold fingers encircle my throat, lifting me up from the ground as my eyelids fluttered uselessly, peering under the curtain of eyelashes to witness the insanity before me.

Edward looked the last thing from human, his eyes wild with anger and excitement as a twisted smile controlled his lips, the dark bronze hair struck the air with force while it bristled with the growl rumbling in his chest. I swallowed heavily before he shifted closer to me, the words dying in my throat as the skin twitched under his grip.

Heavy breathing brushed lightly against my lips while Edward let his cold forehead rest against my own skin, his fingernails digging deeply into the soft flesh of my throat as my lungs constricted from the sudden restriction of breath. The soft touch of silk from bronze hair tickled against my forehead as he shifted his head slightly, moving back and forth against my skin, almost nuzzling our heads together while a cool thumb caressed my throat. I tried to breathe through the sharp nails in my throat or the disgusting movement of a smooth thumb stroking my throat, or the heavy breathing that grazed my lips to occasionally shift and settle upon grazing my ear sickly.

My heart clenched in my chest while breathing became nearly impossible, a new weight shifting upon my chest and collapsing my lungs with its force of disgust. I could feel my lips twitching, wanting desperately to form a snarl or release a growl, but they froze as the cold unwanted breath became closer, signaling that those cold lips weren't far away, his cold fingernails dug deeper into my throat. A terrified scream seemed to struggle in my throat as it was locked behind my lips, unable to escape from my trembling lips.

Then everything disappeared, the unwelcome fingernails in my throat, and the heavy breathing brushing against my lips or the heavy weight that was forced upon my pinned body seemed to evaporate from existence. My body fell to the floor limply as I attempted to catch my breath, trembles racking through my body while shudders crawled down my spine. Deep growling interrupted my attempt to regain some calm in my mind while my eyes focused on two fighting siblings.

Small Alice looked feral, just barely sane while she circled Edward, her sweet pixie features contorting in a mask of anger while her lips twisted in a fierce snarl. Fingernails curled to form claws while her steps moved fluidly, crashing widely like the ocean as she contained the grace of each attack. My heart seemed to forget all the constricting pain that had enclosed me and now fluttered lightly in my chest as dark eyes flickered to my form. Our gaze broke as Edwards snarl stole away her beautiful eyes while his chest vibrated with a growl that fell silent as Alice returned the roar. Edward's movements were stiffer, concentrating on his power rather than speed, his muscles twitching with the strain of each attack as Alice easily dodged every slashing hand and teeth.

"_Enough." _Heads snapped in the direction of the taller blonde vampire, his fatherly face long since soft with the warmth that seemed forever entwined with his features, now anger and grief twisted his sweet face with the emotions so unknown to him.

The man's eyes held such anguish as he looked upon his broken family, round drops of deep crimson gracefully fell from the wounds found on my neck before lightly dripping upon the floor, his hand leading upwards to rub the sight of his shredded family from his eyes. Esme hesitantly shifted closer to her husband, placing a cautious hand on his shoulder, her slender fingers caressing the stiff and unfamiliar strain from her husband's form while whispering sweet and loving words in his ear.

Carlisle's eyes eventually opened again, flickering to his wife to reveal the soft adoration in his eyes before hardening as they flickered away to face us. I watched with a sense of longing as Esme smiled weakly at her mate, quietly making her way behind him so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders, placing her head softly against his shoulder. Carmel hair danced with the blonde locks of her mate as his hands answered hers, reaching over his chest to wrap a hand securely around her delicate fingers. The beast inside winced as my heart sunk with the deep want of something that could not be, something just out of reach where no matter how I struggle, it would slip past my fingertips.

A light breath escaped the father of vampires, his lightly tainted lips tugged downward to form a small frown, the action so unwelcome on his warm face. Eventually the man lifted his eyes to meet mine, sorrow clear in the golden orbs of his eyes, a question already forming on his lips that wouldn't need an answer. My shoulders sagged slightly as my heart clenched tightly in my chest, prepared to be hit with the words of a father I wish to call my own.

"Bella, maybe it would be best if you were to leave." Pain shot through me, shattering the broken little heart in my chest, its walls crumbling downward to reveal a wounded heart. There was a collective "_what_?" in the room, all ranging in voices and tones but each word rumbled with disapproval. Esme, who's arms were still wrapped around Carlisle's shoulders stiffened as her head shot down to hiss at her mate, her sweet and caring face lost its loving motherly features to twist with irritation. The same look passed through every Cullen, while my wolf boy huffed in irritation, stuffing his golden hands into the rough dark jeans he possessed. Carlisle sighed in exasperation, his eyes now tired and worn while he absorbed the angry glares of family members.

"Look around you, our house is destroyed and our own family members are fighting each other. Bella, in no way am I blaming you for what has occurred today, I just think it would be for the best if everyone were to calm down, and I highly doubt that's going to happen if everyone were to stay here." His words broke with a final exasperated sigh, breaking weakly his meaning bore through people, wearing them down with a tired plea.

"Yeah, so make Edward leave!" All eyes shifted to meet a furious Rosalie, her lips twisted into a frown as she glared distastefully at her brother, golden eyes slowly tarnishing into dark coals. Edward stiffened, his shoulders straightening as he returned his sisters glare, a growl starting to form in the man's chest.

"Shut it, Blondie, this isn't about you." The blonde snarled again, a hiss breaking through her lips while her mate wrapped a strong arm around her waist, holding her closely to his strong body, her growls only becoming louder.

"Like hell it isn't! It becomes my problem when you pin Bella to the wall, planning God know what!" Silence followed her words as her meaning hung heavily in the air, the tension increasing suddenly while Edward ran a hand through his gnarled bronze hair, pulling on the dark strands in frustration before letting another ripple of a growl in his chest. I expected him to growl at Rosalie but instead his head jerked in the direction of her husband while keeping his eyes on the blonde vampire.

"Emmett, it would be best if you kept your wife from talking." Edward's dark eyes glared holes into Rosalie, the dark abyss burned with the unspoken threat that laced with his words. Emmett stiffened, his amber eyes narrowing at his brother while his position became defensive, tightening his hold on his wife.

I was trying to hide the shudder of horror that crashed against me, like a wave, it cascaded through my mind bringing dark thoughts to swirl in my mind before settling dangerously, and drowning through my body. Rosalie retaliated against the arms of a loved one as her fingernails created canyons in her lover's skin while she growled at her brother. Emmett just let his head fall down to his mates shoulder to offer some comfort. Strong arms constricted tightly across the stomach of Rosalie as she became captive to her lovers arms, locking her in place while rough snarls broke through her lips. I watched as the bear of a man whispered soft words into her ear, slowly calming the wild anger that had set ablaze in his wife. Seeing this I let my eyes flicker to Alice, my mind drifting to a sense of helpless longing, to wrap my arm around her, comforting and sweet while she returned the embrace. With each beat in my heart, I felt with desire to stand and comfort the angry pixie, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and letting my head fall to rest on upon her trembling form.

My eyes had locked upon Alice, so focused on my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the small pixie turn her head from Rosalie to peek a look at me, her eyes looking at me from under the dark concealing eyelashes, a small sad smile playing on her lips.

"Bella?" My head lifted to meet a lighter pair of butterscotch orbs, glowing underneath the curtain of dark eyelashes, her voice trembled slightly as she appeared before me, her fingertips grazing my skin lightly. I let my eyes trail the lingering fingers that were caressing the skin on my neck, tracing the dark ink that stained my skin. The inky blackness in the sun of my tattoo now shown brightly, glowing in the dim light of the room, trapping every pair of eyes to trail to my shoulder. The once onyx sun that swirled on my right shoulder was now a blistering gold, its flames climbing up my skin to reach the wounds in my neck, its golden formations swirling around the cuts before the creamy skin sowed themselves together. We all seemed hypnotized for a moment, as the golden flamed retreated from my neck, calming down to dim once more into its dark sun. Then slim fingers continued to trace the dark patterns that was sown across my skin, her fingertips dancing lightly across the mesh of creamy skin and dark flames. My eyes flickered to her golden eyes to see the warmth of awe swirl along with the golden waves crashing inside her eyes.

"Stop_ touching_ her!" Edward's smooth ivory hands engulfed the slim hand that caressed my shoulder, breaking into the hard skin with rough fingernails. Alice snapped her head towards Edward, the gentle eyes now rough under her brother's gaze. Yet through the harsh features pulled a smile, now twisted and provided nothing but a feral anger to burn through her lips.

Alice brush off her brothers hands easily, keeping her eyes trained on Edward as that unfamiliar smirk took a hold of her lips, her steps calm and quiet as she stalked back to me. A shiver ran up my spine while Alice lent down next to me, turning her head so her dark misted eyes could ghost over me before this twisted look continued to warp the sweet features of the pixie. I cocked my head to the side while confusion settled heavily in my mind, Alice's cool fingertips danced across my face before running hungrily through my thick hair, tugging lightly on the chocolate strands that were caught in her grasp.

I bit my lip, forcing the purr to be restrained into my chest, my heart bloating in this heat, warmth seeping through every seam of my being, filling into every thread of me. Alice's cool fingers rake through my hair, massaging my scalp lightly before escaping through the thick locks of my hair. With every touch, my skin sparked with the electrifying warmth that spread easily by her fingertips, threading through my skin to revive a dying flame inside. This small flicker of a flame grew hungrily, burning throughout my body, losing control as it hummed its burning intoxication inside. My chest felt heavy with this warm drug, misting inside before pulling me deeply into a deep and intoxicating calm. With every cool breath that fanned against my lips I felt the tips of my smile grow, purring softly while Alice's straying fingers tug at my ear playfully before disappearing once more into the tendrils of my hair. In this intoxicating haze, my heart beating like a drum while the muscles constricting in my abdominal tighten with every soft pet, my mind lolled lazily in a hazy state of peace, my eyelids fluttering close as the weight of this sensation fell upon me.

A snarl slowly brought me out of my daze, pulling me back to reality to find Alice's eyes gleaming with a tainted and dark emotion, pulling into my chest to rip out all of the warmth. Almost everyone's' eyes were trapped upon their frozen family member, waiting wearily for his inevitable anger to break free once more, while a few rebellious eyes trailed to Alice and I. A pair of smoldering gold eyes watched from the corner of the room, watching us quietly with small quirk of his eyebrow, a pair of youthful hazel eyes continued to flicker between the two unraveling scenes. Slowly, I threaded together what was happening, affectively destroying any sort of warmth still pulsing through my veins, managing a quiver of an arrow to pierce through my heart when Alice's eyes flickered to her brother to smile smugly at him.

With that, I shot my head back, ripping my head from her fingers and crashing against the wall, white-hot pain searing through my mind before my heart began sink in my chest. She was just using me as an object to taunt her brother. My hand reached out to massage the tender spot on my head while irritation leaked from my mind to manipulate my muscles, sending a harsh glare to Alice. Her reaction was sudden, the look of surprise falling away as her eyes widened, filling with hurt and a desperate crushing pain that melted in her eyes, mirroring my very feelings. I hid behind a false look of irritation to keep the look of desperation from appearing, causing Alice to fall into a dark misty look of depression twined with her pixyish features, immediately breaking eye contact to stare open eyed at the auburn floor beneath us. I wanted to be angry, to be furious at Alice that she could act without any regard to my own feelings, but instead I just felt hurt. Wounded deeply inside while the pain dug and crawled through me like a parasite, tweaking and pulling at my heartstrings for the fun of it.

Then came the worst part, the sudden backlash of longing that wrapped tightly around me, tugging sharply on its tight noose nestled securely around my heart, a hushed whisper chanting in the back of my mind to grasp a hold of Alice's hand to pull her closer to me.

Or perhaps even that wasn't the worst part, maybe it was the fact that I really wouldn't have a right to be angry, that Alice reacted to defend her rights against her brother, that she didn't uncover the strong feelings I had and use it against me. It was just to show her brother that she had every right to react to a situation he caused. I sighed softly, adding some self-loathing to the mix raging inside my body.

The sound of feet scratching against wood awoke me from my thoughts to witness a blur of sun kissed skin clashing against the ivory form of a man. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach, twisting and turning inside as Sean attempted to hold back a furious Edward, his cold eyes locked on Alice. I watched Sean's muscles bulge as veins struck up against the sudden force of his strength, his sweet and innocent features contorted to show a struggle of power, his arms hardly containing the wild vampire. It only took a small whimper to break from his lips to pull everyone from their moment of surprise and come to the aid of the young werewolf.

Carlisle immediately replaced Sean's tawny arms as Esme attempted to soothe her raging son, sharing a desperate look with her husband before reaching up to stroke her sons trembling cheek, leaning in to whisper calming words into his ear. I snapped my eyes from the scene, biting my lip to keep the small whimper from escaping. No matter how much they regret Edwards decision, he will always be their son, and he will always have that ground, that sturdy thing to fall back onto when you've lost balance in the world. I slid from the ground, carefully walking past Alice who seemed transfixed by the floor, unable to lift her head as her fingertips traced random patterns upon the wood.

Guilt pounded against my heart, sinking the poor thing farther into a dark depression, lost from its torture and blind with guilt. My eyes traced her distinct pixie features, the hollows of her cheeks darkening while the skin underneath her ebony eyes blackened with exhaustion, her eyes losing any sort of emotion that could reclaim that fiery passion that always seemed present in the pixie. Instead she just stared blankly at the ground, a small frown gracing her lips while her fingertips repeated there tedious duties. I lost my breath, my heart stuttering while falling down deeper in its swirling darkness. I swallowed heavily while my lungs constricted tightly, a heavy grip tightening like a snake around my chest before a deep growl threatened inside, bubbling with anger...growling at me. My beast had lost its patience again, beyond furious with me while I walked away from Alice, looking upon the young werewolf on the floor while my concentration seemed stuck on the wounded pixie.

Sean was breathing deeply, his chest rising steadily before shaking violently as it fell back down, shaking his head to allow his dark onyx hair to fall away from his face. He shot a cautious look to Edward before relaxing slightly and sending a small grin my way. Wordlessly I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling the lean wolf boy close to me, letting my head fall to his shoulder. Sean chuckled deeply before wrapping one arm around my body, his chin falling to rest on my head as he gave me a soft squeeze. I tried to concentrate on him, to at least comfort the obviously shaken boy who just ran in front of a vampire and kept a wild snapping monster restrained in his arms, but my beast was moving restlessly in my chest while desperate whimpers bubbled inside of me. I glanced nervously at Alice who had Rosalie by her side, her sister's golden locks providing to be a good curtain as it hid the pixie. Smooth hands rubbed the pixies back while her sister wordlessly sat on her haunches next to her, silently giving comfort.

Jealously bit at my heart like a pack of wild dogs, yipping and howling while its sharp teeth tore into the soft tissue. Perhaps a little harsh with the analogy, but its what I felt. My head came to a stop when I met Jaspers gaze, his dark amber eyes glistening with a knowledge, a certain wisdom wafted through his presence as he smiled kindly at me, his smile falling into a seldom understanding.

I winced and looked sharply away, nearly slapping myself for not keeping my emotions in check, forgetting completely about the empathy Cullen. He knows, he can feel the strong love burn inside of me when I get lost in Alice's ebony eyes, or the jealously that always seems so present in the back of my mind, ready to slither out from its hiding place to bite into my heart. He knows - that information in its self was enough to sink my heart, tears swelling in my eyes before I discreetly destroyed the evidence.

I sighed sadly before returning a weary smile to Jasper. It probably looked a bit pained because a wave of reassuring calm crashed over me. Though needed, this was highly unappreciated, causing for my smile to tighten around the edges.

I returned my head to Sean's warm shoulder, silently wishing for a cold and petite shoulder to rest on, my chest shaking and shuddering as it attempted to hold back the sudden desire to cry. I shifted my head to rest my cheek on Sean's warm skin, studying the broken family scattered throughout the room. Edward was taking deep breaths, his dark eyes still locked on Alice but he stayed limp in his father's arms while his mother sent concerned looks to everyone, winding in a frantic circle. Briefly, she caught my eyes, her eyes burning with words that could not be spoken; sorrow seemed to swirl in her butterscotch eyes before an unspoken apology whirled along with the emotion. My lips twitched into a smile, hoping to reassure the frantic mother, to save her from this lingering sorrow that seemed to shadow everyone's thoughts. Esme returned my smile weakly before returning to sending concern for her family, unable to decide which family member to fix first. Emmett seemed to have deflated, unable to hold his strong and comforting aurora around him as his brothers and sisters fell into shambles.

This is all my fault. I single handedly ripped a family to shreds, creating a depressed Alice, and enraged Edward, heartbroken parents as their children become distant and harsh. My fragile heart tore into pieces, breaking off into small unfixable shreds as my eyes trailed to each worn face, and while this breaking occurred deep down inside, my chest heaved with this forceful shatter. Exhaustion started to wind through me, lying heavily upon me as it sunk me deeper into depression, dragging me down into an endless ocean.

An artificial calm tried to fight back against the suffocating depression inside, so I lifted my head to glare at the empath, his eyes showing a deep concern for me as he worried his lip. I didn't want to feel calm or peaceful, it would be unfair since I am the one to blame for this massacre of happiness. My lips broke to release another sigh, falling limply in the air as a motion caught my eye. I turned my head to look upon a broken father, his eyes holding a question deep inside, unable to speak it himself while he shifts his gaze to me, seeing the same question burning in me.

It was such a simple question, not even stringing it along with many words and yet it held an unexpected authority to us. The unanswerable question: _why?_So simple and bland yet it left me speechless all the same, left without an answer. Carlisle's stare looked hollow as it fell upon his son, torn from resentment and sorrow as he was unable to choose a side to stay in, always shifting from one emotion to another.

My eyes followed the direction of Carlisle's eyes to peer at Edward; his once ivory skin now looked sullen, his skin taking in a shade of grey, unable to shine with its brilliance, his anger draining away from him leaving a hollow shell of a man. I traced the skin underneath his eyes, now tarnished to a dark charcoal; his eyes stared blankly at his sister, as if he had forgotten who she was, silently trying to put a name to her forgotten face.

As if he had felt my eyes on him, his dark onyx eyes flickered to me while his head stayed stiff staring straight ahead. My heart stuttered in surprise causing Edward to suddenly smile at me, his lips twitching to form an unusual twisted grin. He slowly turned his head to me, cocking his head to the side to give me an adoring grin while his eyes blistered with a dark and needy look. My heart suddenly stopped as a frightened flutter coursed through my body, crawling up my spine before fleeting through a small shaky breath. My head snapped away to hide in the warmth of Sean's neck, choking back a sob as his arms tightened around me, his casual grin becoming forced as he caught Edwards eyes to witness the possessive desire burning in the dark abyss of his eyes.

Just looking once into his eyes, I know that this isn't over, that things have just began.

I slowly lifted my head from Sean's neck as his warm hands rubbed my back soothingly, drawing out long and soothing circles upon my back. I smiled weakly at the boy who returned the smile, his hazel eyes containing such calm and happy emotions bringing warmth to pool in my chest. I almost felt my heart nearly lift a few inches from its murky depression, before slipping deeper in its dark mist as my eyes lifted to meet Esme's heartbroken face. Her eyes bear such sorrow as they searched for her husband's gaze, unable to find a single sturdy soul in the house she turned to search for a solid reassurance, but instead found just another broken gaze. And with this I found that it's just too much, every single soul in this room is exhausted, they are tired and drained, unable to salvage enough energy to even comfort themselves, just staring blankly at one another while the time slipped by.

My arms released Sean's waist, limply taking his hands to entangle my fingers with his, squeezing it gently as he his head turned down to grin lazily. Gently, I tugged on his hand, leading him away from this family and hoping desperately that my absence would help tie their family together, even if for just a little while.

"You're leaving?" My heart wrenched at the sound of the broken voice of the pixie, her voice barely above a whisper as she stared up at me from the floor. A tremor of pain pulled through my body, increasing by the breath as my eyes stared down at the small girl on the floor. Alice was sitting with her legs lying stiff on the floor while she cradled her hands with care, her large eyes staring up at me with desperation clear in the amber eyes.

My eyes traced the dark shadowed skin underneath her eyes before observing the sweet curve of her cheekbones, the hollows darkening as her eyes swirled with black. Alice's rosebud lips parted as if to speak, but instead her lower lip betrayed her, trembling while her breaths came out in short pained gasps.

"Yes." My voice broke at the last second, betraying my soft whisper to be horse. Alice's shoulders slumped in defeat; her expression became resigned as a look of subtle hurt and hopelessness washed over her.

"Why?" It was such a simple question, just one word that was uttered and yet it meant everything. Slowly I released Sean, stepping over the small distance that kept us apart, letting my knees fall down to the hard wood next to her. I felt everyone's eyes on me, silently appraising my actions, wondering what was to happen next. Alice smiled weakly at me but her lips couldn't hold the small smile for long, they trembled before falling into a frown, a heartbroken look weaving through her eyes as if she already knew my answer, waiting for the words to be spoken. Absently, her fingers played with the golden rings upon her finger, casually staring down at the shining topaz diamond, her lips trembling at the sight of them.

Wordlessly, I leaned forward, pressing my lips against Alice's cold forehead, my hands fluttering upwards to cradle Alice's jaw, stroking her cheek softly with my thumb. I let my eyes flutter close to the sensation, my lips pressing lightly upon Alice's deliciously cool skin. While I sit so close to Alice, I felt the sudden surprised gasp that brushed across my skin, feeling the small flutter of Alice's eyelashes against my skin while her hair caressed the side of my face.

I wanted to push her closer to me, dipping my head lower to capture her soft lips with mine, my mind swirling with the possibilities of this moment. Yet I pulled away after a small second of this sweet blissful moment, leaning away from the mythical creature by my side as my hands slide down from her jaw to touch the smooth skin of her throat before leaving her altogether. Alice's eyes flutter from being closed in that small moment that we shared; now opening to reveal warm and confused butterscotch eyes. Oh god, she is so beautiful. My lips twitched into a small sad smile while my trembling hands lie limply on my knees, trying to keep them from reaching out to entangle with slender cold fingers.

"I think it would be for the best." I glanced around the room, searching for a specific pair of eyes that could tell me my answer. Then I met them, the cold stone eyes piercing through me while his cold sullen face slowly started to churn again, moving in ways that seemed subtle yet dangerous, quietly awakening from the deep slumber he had slipped into. Energy started to spike in his eyes as he traced my body, analyzing the distance between me and his sister, this energy slowly started to kindle to life to slowly building a fire that could ablaze again, slowly lighting to life and repeating the events lying heavily on everyone's shoulders. I quickly looked away, shooting my head to the side to rest upon a more peaceful and calming sight, instead I fell into a vertex of black eyes, swirling with animosity as they targeted upon Edward, awaiting the first move. And here we are again, did the last few hours even happen? A heavy sigh fell from my lips as my muscles screamed for mercy, wanting desperately for the fight to end, for just a little while let the bloodshed end.

"See? Nothing's changed. I could stay here and we could bite at each other's throats for days, forever if we wanted to. So, if things are ever going to calm down, I need to leave, because we're just going to continue fighting if I don't." Alice's head shot to look at me while feral waves of worry crashed inside her wild inky eyes, narrowing slightly to glare at me. Rose bud lips curled into a snarl, her golden eyes shining with a forced ignorance, silently pleading me to stay. Her golden eyes stared into me, searching for a small weakness to exploit, to allow her small words that would without a doubt break my resolve. Outside, I hardened, trying to keep my resolve from cracking into small pieces while somewhere I know that if she would speak the words, I would stay.

However, the words never came; instead, we fell into a thick silence, my heart silently sinking with the realization that I would have to leave now. Alice's head fell down, staring deeply into the wood below her, unknowing to the silent pleas that whispered just behind my lips, begging her to ask me to stay.

It never came.

So I swallowed the desperate pleas bouncing on my tongue, forcing a small smile while an arm coiled outward, wrapping around Alice's slender torso. Involuntarily, I pulled the girl to me, wrapping both arms around her stomach while her head fell in the area between my shoulder and neck, nuzzling the warm skin softly while her broken sighs brushed against my skin. Swallowing the heavy depression hovering around my heart, snarling me in a trap of torment, I kept my head high, forcing a smile upon my breaking facade.

"Aww, come on Alice, don't be sad." I rubbed her stomach softly, smiling when she huffed out a breath, poking me in the stomach with her slender pinky. My lips struggled into a small smile that hid in the light feathers of her hair. A part of me felt like locking into place, never leaving from this strangled embrace, but I kept still, hoping that I wouldn't melt any farther into this moment. My chin fell onto her shoulder, sending her a small sideways glance while her head fell to reposition from the movement, nestling farther into my neck. A small humming came from within me, singing a sad and sweet melody from my heart, my skin tingling with the ecstasy of touching Alice while my heart sank with the knowledge of what is to come.

I gave her one last squeeze before disentangling myself from her, giving her a soft smile before walking back to Sean. In my mind, Alice smiled back before prancing up to walk with me, kissing me effortlessly on the cheek before walking to her mother, each step flouncing with grace and beauty as her eyes sparkled with a certain twinkle in her beautiful golden eyes.

Sadly, this was not what happened. The moment I released Alice, it was like she was a puppet with her stings cut, her body slumping to fall back to the floor while her eyes misted into a dark and miserable sorrow, her lips barely pulling into a forced smile of acceptance while defeat meddled heavily on her lips. While my heart wrenched and twisted, my beast whimpering for our love, I felt my eyes hardening like stone, my lips snarling into a frown while my gaze ran harshly across every face. Carlisle gave me a kind smile but he was just as lost as everyone else, now completely unsure what to do with themselves as I wrapped an arm around Sean's torso, turning to walk away from the mess I had created.

Our landscape blurred together, neither one of us paying enough attention to acknowledge the passing trees or the ominous clouds swirling with a threatening desire to rain, our arms wrapping around each other by memory as our minds drifted in our own thoughts, chaos battling between my own mind while a look of indifference passed through Sean.

We only stopped when we walked through a familiar setting, a haunting memory that continues to drag our bodies to its location, leading us blindly through the forest to this terrible beauty. The meadow was gaining more memories to cling to while we walked mutely to the center of the meadow, the grass reaching towards us with every breath from the wind. Rocks glinted with black while each darkening cloud passed by, hiding the sun from the world to keep our strange meadow in a shadow of darkness. Trees were berated by the harsh wind as it roared through the air, whirling around us to hit roughly against the water, its surface sparkling with its onyx colors.

"Why do we keep coming to this place?" Sean's husky voice interrupted the hypnotizing chaos, his hand tightening around mine while his wide hazel eyes watched the rough beauty of our meadow. His tawny skin lost more of its tan complexion as clouds started to lose patience with us, letting small droplets of water to fall lightly to the ground. I shrugged, turning my head to smile at the boy, leading him silently across the wild wind to hide under boulders. I pressed my back against the freezing stone before wrapping my arms around my ragged clothing, letting my hair drip quietly down to the ground. I silently retreated into my own thoughts, trying to ignore Sean's impatient face looking up at the sky with distaste.

A warm hand pawed at my shoulder, nudging me repeatedly, my head fall back in exasperation before deciding to ignore him. Sean can survive two minutes without me paying attention to him. A warm breath brushed past my face as he repeated his nudging, my eyelids only closing more tightly with each touch."Bellllllaaaa!" I swear, I'm going to hurt this boy.

"Oh my god, what do you want?" I peeked closely through one narrowed eyelid, peering through thick eyelashes to see the soaked boy in front of me, water started to drip through his dark locks as his wide hazel eyes looked at me with pure innocence shining brightly in his sun kissed face.

"Bellaaaaa...I'm cold." My lips twitch, allowing a small sigh to fall into the wild wind as Sean's lower lip trembled, his deep hazel eyes staring at me with a perfected puppy pout. Not even close to Alice's adorable pout, but it did have some effect on me. My heart twisted with just the thought of Alice, sinking deeper into the pit of my stomach, burning wildly inside while rain froze over my skin. The sound of the rain digging into the soft soil of the earth resembled the eroding of my heart, breaking and crumbling in on itself while the rain beat mercilessly into it. Yet, even though I just felt like falling into myself to release the building pressure of the tears that I have held in for the past hours wash away, I leaned into Sean, providing my own warmth to the boy. His arms wrapped securely around me, pulling me against him in a desperate attempt to feel warm, his head burying into my neck as his nose brushed against my warm skin.

The shivering boy eventually calmed; the violent shaking diminishing down to small tremors that vibrated in his chest before escaping through his lips. I turned my head, closing my eyes while burying my head into the soft locks of Sean's dark hair, taking deep breaths of the heavy oak aroma that clung to his skin. Once my eyelids fluttered close I was met with melting golden eyes, her image clear in my mind as the beautiful goddess wore a brilliant grin instead of the sorrowful smile of the broken. My lips twitched into a smile as my heart fluttered weakly in my chest, the familiar warmth lapping gently through my veins before swarming heavily in my chest.

"You love her, don't you?" Once the words were spoken, my body froze, cramping and constricting tightly while my lungs forgot to take in a breath. I squirmed in the warm restraints I was caught in, his arms tightening across my stomach as I attempted to claw through his iron grip.

"I-I dont know w-who you're talking about." My mind swirled with panic while my lips trembled, my muscles slowly giving up on the attempts to escape. Sean just placed his head on my shoulder, nuzzling me softly before turning to whisper his hot breath into my ear.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I fell limp in his hold, my head rolling back to rest against his warm structure while my nails relaxed against Sean's skin. I held in my shaking breath before releasing all the air in my lungs in one sweeping _whoosh._

"More than anything." My voice was barely a whisper, but I know he heard it; my lips were practically at his ear now, breathing deeply as his arms loosened their tight grip. Had I even said it aloud yet? I have not even whispered it, not to a single soul, not to the wind or even really to myself. As if Sean knew I needed to continue, he quietly squeezed my hand, lifting one heavy palm to rub at my tummy. I took one more calming breath, watching my exhaled breath expand through the air in a soft puff of mist. "I don't even know when it had started. But once I realized it, it just started brooding in the back of my mind since then, it's really all I think about. It's come to a pathetic point, but I'm far from caring by now."

I felt Sean's smile against my neck, his grin growing with every word that was spoken while his thumb squeezed the back of my hand again. "So...when are you going to tell her?" My smile died on my face while surprise pushed against my heart, making it skip frantically in my chest. I had planned to never tell her.

"I wasn't really ever going to tell her. It's not like she loves me back." Sean surprised me by freezing, pushing me away to look at me at arm's length, his large hazel eyes a picture of surprise while he cocked an eyebrow as if expecting me to burst out laughing. When I just blinked at him Sean shook his head while his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes watching me strongly as his lips melted into a small frown. Two tanned fingers lifted to my eye level, stealing my attention as they swayed back and forth, lifting and dropping as my eyes followed its every move. When his fingers stopped moving, I looked past them to cock my head at the wolf boy, who was still staring at me strongly.

"How odd..." What the hell? Sean's young face sobered up as he placed his hand on his chin, stroking it thoughtfully while his eyes concentrated sourly on me. What's going on here? "So you're _not _blind...how peculiar. Now I'm just wondering about your mental capacity..." I blinked in surprise, frowning slightly as I thought over his words, the meaning still completely going over my head.

"Are you...insulting me?" Sean suddenly broke out in a grin, relief washing over his tanned complexion, swirling in his deep hazel eyes as he threw his arms around me again, pulling me tightly to his chest as he swayed us back and forth.

"Dear god! She does have a brain!" I froze in his arms, narrowing my eyes as I struggled with his sudden constriction of his arms, coiling my arm back to punch him on his shoulder. What the hell? I open up to him and he insults me? So much for respect.

"What the hell, Sean?" I turned my head to stare out into the raging storm, my body shifting to the side, slowly moving me away from Sean. My fingers suddenly found and interest in digging deeply into the moist soil as the rich smell of the rain mixed with the natural scent of the earth. I felt Sean's sigh brush against my neck as the cold air immediately swirled around the once warmth that breathed against my skin.

"Bella, I don't think I have seen a woman more in love than Alice is with you. And that means a lot coming from me, who has seen his sister get married and watched my mother and father's marriage take the beatings and come out strong." I slowly turned my head to face Sean, his warm hazel eyes smoldering in the dark as his breath came in small-misted puffs, disappearing into nothing. My heart had suddenly stopped beating, the silence a painful reminder of the sound that should be pulsing through my chest at this moment, but instead it lies still and unmoving. My chest throbbed as the beast moved inside of me, a distant purr twining around my body before jump starting my heart. With the sudden _thump_ of my heart, it pushed all of my emotions through my bloodstream, sending electric shocks with each thought of my own. Doubt was the first to come, always the one to react first to strip my mind of any hope. Then after the harsh attack of the mind, a small ember was saved, burning inside my heart to slowly send small flames of hope to crawl through my veins. My breathing came in small broken waves as I attempted to see through the chaos of my mind, glaring out into the deep stormy twilight, the smell of the rain calming the heavy clambering of my heart.

Memories blurred together, threading a choppy shred of evidence for this desperate love. Shared smiles and chaste kisses brushed through my mind while I raked through all my blurry memories, watching a pair of golden eyes fall down shyly, before rising to smolder in my gaze, warmth swirling in the butterscotch orbs. Interlocked fingers with matching rings dashed through my mind, slowly gaining a pulse of speed, separating more memories to throw together weak flimsy evidence.

I swallowed gently, letting the small burning ember grow with life, resistant to drowning this new flame inside, letting a dark pressure upon my heart lift barely above its suffocating hold. Slowly, I turned my head to rest my eyes upon Sean's patient face, his lips still pulled into an easy grin while his obsidian hair scattered across his forehead, playing lightly with the wind.

"So, do you believe me?" I released a small breathy laugh, shaking my head softly before crawling back to the boy, leaning my body into his warm shoulders. Sure, Alice could be my mate, it was possible. It could explain why she was miserable, but her sorrowful attitude could very well be connected to the fact that her entire family seemed to have fallen apart. Sean sighed, his head rolling back to rest upon the inky boulders behind him, his eyes closing fiercely while he groaned in frustration. I chuckled weakly, my head falling upon his shoulder while we sat in tense silence, our heads lost in our own thoughts.

"Maybe is my answer. I don't want to hope too much, but I suppose I am willing to consider the idea." Sean twisted his head slowly to look at me, his lips curling slightly as his eyes tore into me, still and unmoving while his eyes contained fierce emotions. Finally, he looked away, shaking his head weakly, pulling an odd grin, his lips neither glimmering with any joy or sorrow, a crooked and unnatural grin that slowly melted into a frown.

"Just remember, Bella, you're not the only one who is getting hurt with your indecision." I stopped to consider his words, slowly stripping them of their meaning as they swirled in my head. Did he mean that I was hurting Alice? Or was I hurting him too? I suppose it doesn't matter in the end, I still end up hurting someone I love. My heart sunk in my chest again, the harsh realization nestling in my chest before ripping further through me. This is what I have become, this monster without claws to attack or teeth to bare, I dig deeply into my loved ones like a parasite, draining their life to leave hollow shells of the people they used to be.

For that moment, I felt the break in my breath as I proved to be unable to breathe again, struggling to control the sudden urge to break apart, the very seams of my being slowly unraveling at this discovery. Though I felt ridden with self-loathing, I kept this contempt to myself, biting back the hating emotions that struggled to show upon my own features. Sean has gone through enough already, a lost family, his own sorrow building with his need to absorb mine. I would not fall apart, not when I would only need to be sown back together again.

The seconds followed with a stressful silence, our bodies stiff with the haunting thoughts of our own minds, each drowning back to wallow in our own sorrow. As I turned my head, I noticed the distant look shadow upon the deep hazel eyes while they swelled with tears, his lips being chewed upon to keep the small droplets of his sorrow to show themselves to the world. Keep it hidden then move on.

I shook my head, swallowing all of the animosity spiraling through me before turning to face the misery-ridden boy, forcing a strong disguise upon my face while I crumbled underneath. On shaking limbs, I lifted my arms, wrapping around the young boy to pull him closer to me. I felt the stutter of his heart as he turned his head to face me, his dark eyelashes blinking rapidly to cover the swelling sadness in his eyes as he pulled a reassuring grin upon those deceiving lips.

Stubborn boy, perhaps we really are related; he and I are too much alike. We both were left behind, or in his situation, forced to move away. We both lost people we considered family while losing our knowledge of the world around us, everything becoming something peculiar while we endured a change of difference upon something so basic as our own bodies. To be taken of everything that made you feel safe and secure, even the very image of yourself striped away, was unbearable, and to go through something so terrifying, alone? There aren't enough words in the world to describe the loneliness, horror and terror that had coursed through me over the years, and knowing that someone you love went through the exact same thing, it just refreshes your memory of the wound that was struck so many years ago.

I looked past his crumbling smile to see the swirling distress shaking wildly inside of him, shaking him from his heart to his core, tearing him apart slowly from the inside. My chest heaved while the sky became glass, mirroring the swirling distress and sorrow upon our moment. I sighed sadly, scooting closer to Sean to pull the lean boy closer to me, rubbing his back in small circular patterns before meeting his warm hazel eyes with my own worn electric ones.

"I'm sorry." Sean cocked his head to the side, one warm cheek resting casually on my shoulder while he looked up from underneath his eyelids, his dark hair dripping quietly with small raindrops that rolled easily from each dark strand before falling silently to the soil. This quiet movement drew me in, catching my attention as each raindrop climbed down his hair, sometimes rolling across his own warm skin, sliding effortlessly down his nose to fall without a thought to the ground. With my eyes still focused on this peaceful exchange, my lips opened to continue the onslaught of words. "I sometimes forget that there are more people in this world of ours. Do you know why I was so upset today? Why I wasn't ready to forgive Edward?"

Sean's blinked in response, smiling softly before his lips grew tired of this movement, unable to salvage enough energy to continue the warmth of his usually effortless grin. My chest raised shakily, my gaze finally moving from tracing the movements of dripping water to watching the raging storm scream down to us all, anything but look into Sean's eyes.

"His offense was that he left me, abandoned me in the middle of nowhere to tell me that I was nothing more than a pet, just a play thing for him, until of course he got bored." I winced as I felt sympathy swirl in Sean's eyes, boring into me while he shifted upon my shoulder, his hand moving to envelope mine. "That wasn't why I was so hurt though. I suppose I was always expecting it, so when it came, there was nothing to do but accept it." I shook my head quietly, running my free hand through moist hair to feel its ginger softness caress against my fingertips. "I was so angry because I was alone. The actions themselves were meaningless, Edward abandoning me, or all of his angry words. No, it was the fact that they could all live without me, a complete family when I was alone and suffering, that very fact drove me to the brink of insanity."

"I'm sorry." Sean's husky voice fluttered to my ears, his sweet sympathy crept through my skin, churning my insides with disgust. However, through that deep sympathetic voice was some empathy, his past creeping through his own voice to refresh the horror of his own pain. The tight strings connecting my heart tweaked and pulled painfully, twisting itself harshly inside my rib cage while a warm thumb caressed my palm, the boy easily looking past himself to see and comfort me.

"_You're_sorry?" My lips snarled with distaste while that eager selfish monster inside of me demanded for attention, more lives to ruin with its cruel intentions. "Did you notice anything when you went into that house? That family was torn apart, everything was ruined, and I was still selfishly asking for more, demanding for an apology that really wasn't necessary." Sean straightened up, his spine stiffening while his muscles tightened and constricted around his jaw, his body reacting immediately to the self-loathing ridden within my voice. He narrowed his eyes at me, shaking his softly before he worried his lips with the small scrapes from his teeth, tearing the soft skin of his lips away before they healed almost immediately. Sean's mouth opened several times before closing again, letting his warm breath show the growing frustration spiraling inside of him.

This is it.

"That's not fair, Bella. You have every right to be angry, they left you when they promised you something... something that couldn't just be forgotten or replaced. I mean they were your family, right? They had the nerve to call you their child only to abandon you later? You trusted them... they were your safety place where you could always go back to in times of need, then they suddenly just throw you out. You should be furious..." Sean's words faulted as tears fell lightly from his eyes, his hazel eyes swirling in agony before he snapped his head away from me, glaring out into the darkening twilight. "I mean, what did you do wrong, right? What did you do to suddenly be just kicked out without much thought, but all is well with them, they can continue to live fine and pretend like I was never here..."

When Sean realized he had spoken his mistake, his own sorrow finally reaching his tongue as it left his eyes in steady flowing tears. Without hesitation, I gathered the boy in my arms, cradling him to my chest as he dug his fingernails into my back, clinging desperately onto me as if I was the only thing keeping him from drifting away.

"Shh,, it's okay, honey." I cooed softly into his ear while rubbing his back sweetly, my fingernails racking through his dark locks of hair. A warm wetness seeped into my shirt while he nuzzled his head farther into my neck, his sobs shaking him violently while vibrating against me with each desperate attempt to keep quiet. I just repeated my lines tediously, each word tumbling into the next one until they hardly sounded true, faltering with uncertainty. My voice gradually died to a broken murmur of words, my lips ghosting Sean's warm ear to keep the continuing thread of words through him, my own thoughts skittering around my head in a chaotic manner.

Then a broken voice cracked through my low murmuring words, shattering my heart with its fragility, its' very sound radiated with a sense of lost.

"I don't think I can do it. I-I'm not strong like you, Bells. You survived twelve years of being alone, without anyone to explain what was happening; you made it by yourself, completely alone." My heart tightened in my chest with each spoken word, his husky voice breaking while delivering blows straight to my heart. My mind swirled with the memories of my years alone, whipping past sharp feelings that unraveled from my memories, revealing the tormented thoughts of my miserable being. "I have only been alone for a few months. _Months_ and I'm already breaking down."

Sean heaved a shuttering sigh, the sound of his heart clashing harshly against the downpour of the rain, each heavy thump filling with the pain that collided with each chamber in his heart. Gently, I lifted a hand to brush against Sean's wet cheek, his head leaning into my warm palm as my thumb moved gingerly across his tear-streaked cheeks. My heart wrenched inside of my chest when my eyes met the hopelessness tainting the once warm hazel eyes of Sean, his innocent features molding into a look of desperation while his eyes held a certain crazed need for guidance, pleading me for help. I felt tears swell in my own eyes, pleading me to let them fall and release some of this inner turmoil that's been locked inside for years.

Never, never will I show this side of me again, this weak wounded creature whimpering inside, quietly pleading for the same desperation for guidance that now swirls in Sean's eyes. Who actually has these answers, this sense of direction? It seems like everyone is just lost on this earth, looking for someone to show them a path to choose, desperate for someone else to make their own decisions.

My sight blurred in front of me, Sean's look of helplessness molding together into a mesh of dark sorrowful colors while my tears refused to fall, swirling in my eyes before being blinked away. My sorrow vanishing from existence while I put on a brave facade, smiling gently down upon Sean's heartbroken appearance to wipe away his tears. Inside I was slowly eroding away, my body crumbling in on itself while outside I ripped away any sort of warmth and comfort from me to offer to the boy, even when it leaves me feeling empty and cold.

"You're not alone." To confirm my words, I lifted one hand to entwine with Sean's trembling fingers, his body shaking with the frost of the night and the bitter cold of his misery. Sean nodded his head, unable to speak through his shivering lips, trembling once more before collapsing onto the ground while our entwined fingers pulled me down next to him among the soaking grass, the soil sticking to our skin while the rain-washed it away. My head rested upon his chest, hearing the heart gradually calm down from its frenzied state to a more soothing pulse. My eyes rose from Sean to stare up at the darkening sky, the rain leaving small traces upon our skin before disappearing, leaving nothing but the memory of its sweet touch.

Seconds turned into minutes as time became meaningless, the only resemblance of the passing time was the sudden disappearance of all light, the sky losing its dull reflection from the sun to wallow in the night's glory. I sighed, my head tucked under Sean's warm chin, his arms constricted around me while we lay dazed under the misting sky. A heavy hand fell onto my back, tapping a beat upon my skin as he hummed lightly with the unknown song, letting his eyelids flutter close while a small smile pulled on his lips. Despite myself, my lips returned the twitch of a smile, my head shifting upon Sean's warm chest while his heart played heavily in my ear.

"Do you think Alice is your imprint?" My head snapped up to catch the familiar look of curiosity sparkling in Sean's deep hazel eyes, his smile quirking into a grin as he cocked his head to the side in an adorable fashion. A small chuckle lifted from behind my lips, escaping to meet the moist air while I lifted an arm to prop my head up, staring intently at the boy next to me.

"I wasn't aware that little old me got to have an imprint." Sean's face grew thoughtful as he stared down at me, his hazel eyes smoldering in the darkening night. The moonlight found its way through the heavy curtain of clouds, lazily leaking down from the sky to let rays of shallow light dance upon the soaked earth.

"You may not be normal, but I think you have the same design as us, different but the same." I raised an eyebrow at his use of the word _normal_ but continued to listen to his sweet husky voice, smiling softly as he stroked his chin in thought. I decided not to speak, just listening to the calm racing of Sean's heart, waiting patiently for more of his answer to come. "Jacob seemed to understand what he was talking about, how the beast inside of us all are kind of split in half. Like we all have another part of our soul drifting around the world waiting for us." Sean's head moved casually to look into my gaze, his dark hair falling in sync with the winding grass while he locked his large smoldering eyes with mine. I leaned down to rest my quivering cheek on Sean's rising chest, enjoying the bask of warmth that scalded my skin.

"I would like to believe that Alice is my soul mate, but that's just my wishful thinking. I mean, how can you know for certain that _imprinting_ even exists. Anyone who could have thought they imprinted just could have been in love, and wanted to spend the rest of their life with that person, it doesn't always have to be connected to some mythical explanation." I tapped my fingers upon Sean's chest, tapping to every heavy _thump-thump_ to the wolf's heartbeat. I counted the seconds that ticked by while Sean mulled around in his head, searching for words to answer me, his slender bronze fingers playing with the tips of the green grass growing freely from the ground. A sudden jump of Sean's heart alerted me that he had found some convincing words, his grin stretching widely upon his lips.

"Go on a date with me." My body suddenly jerked, jumping from my position to stiffen uncomfortably while a grimace twisted upon my lips. I felt the odd growling rumble in my chest while my beast bristled inside, its wild and animalistic side threading through every seam in my body, quiet whispers whipping through my mind to distance myself immediately from the wolf. My lips twitched to speak, but instead a low hiss escaped them, settling uneasily in the air while my shivers crawled up my spine. When I heard Sean's quiet chuckling splinter through the silence I lifted my eyes to narrow at the boy, unable to cover the rough growl that broke through my lips. My mind was spinning, thoughts winding spastically through my head as if to cover the somewhat disturbing words that left Sean's lips. When Sean shifted forward, I repelled backwards, my body moving away immediately without a command as if an invisible barrier had suddenly pressed up against me, pushing me farther. I shot my head up as laughter trampled upon the silence while the sudden tension seemed to darken around me, creating a noose to wrap around my lungs before the tension seemingly evaporated around Sean.

"See!" Sean's arms shot up in the air, as if this sudden movement was the only thing that could prove his point. His lips pulled up in an effortless grin while his dark hazel eyes sparkled in the dark, flecks of bronze meddling with the creamy hazel swirl of his eyes. My heart had been thrown off its axis, so now that it was unable to beat to its usual calm rhythm, it settled for an odd panicked sound as it collided harshly against my ribs. "You can't go on a date with someone else because of that constant reaction inside of you, that part that instantly becomes threatened when you get close to anyone, except, I am assuming, Alice." I let out a long sigh of relief, my heart swelling with this relief while my tightly coiled muscles finally released. _Oh thank you god._ I suppose I should have guessed that Sean would go to that level.

"Sean, that doesn't prove anything. I can't go on a date with _you_ because it would be rather disgusting, like incest or something along those lines, and you're like...a baby." Sean rolled his eyes before collapsing back onto the damp ground, his eyes staring through the deep misting skies, searchingly.

"Please, I am sixteen, and it's not like we suddenly became siblings at first sight, did you want to date me when you first saw me? Or anyone for that matter?" Why does he want to prove this so much? I thought he didn't believe in this imprinting stuff. I lifted my gaze to stare wordlessly into Sean's open hazel eyes, his gaze staring right at me as it looked right through me, his lost gaze searching something far away, far beyond the dusted dark sky above our heads.

"Why do you want to prove this so much?" Sean's eyes suddenly snapped back into focus, startling my heart before my eyes peered through two dark endless orbs staring right back at me. His eyes opened up to reveal twisted vertexes within, releasing the sudden complications swirling in front of me, his youthful face wore a mask of indifference while his eyes told lies. He lazily turned his head from me to stare off into the lonely trees that stood just out of reach from each other, the ground below them layering with the leaves that they had lost, coloring the moist ground with a mesh of different colors.

"Sean?" My hand reached out to paw anxiously at the boy's shoulder, feeling a sense of dread starting to needle in the base of my stomach; I shifted closer to the boy, leaving my hand to rest upon his broad shoulder. Sean huffed softly, watching his own breath disappear in the frosting air before slowly turning to me, his lips pulling up into a wry smile.

"I don't know, it just sounded kind of nice. To have someone waiting for you, and not just a temporary person who could fall from your life easily, someone fated to be with you, forever." Sean's eyes lowered from the trees before staring down into the dark soil growing underneath the glossy fur of the grass, his fingers digging through each pine-scented plant to pick hungrily through the earth. Light cinnamon brushed fingers became painted with the moist soil, the clear moon shaped fingernails becoming clouded with mud. The muscles along my back released, exhaustion finally catching up to me, letting me settle lightly upon the damp grass, my heart sinking in my chest with Sean's words, his voice whispering an untraceable spell on my mind, causing it to drift away with thought.

How could I have been so light with my words? Throwing them around like they didn't mean anything, blindly striking a spot in Sean's heart, something he has tried to cover and hide with smiles and grins. Of course, Sean would wordlessly hope for something like this, putting his trust in faith. He wants something that is definite; something that he is certain will not disappear with a small mistake, _s_ome_one_ that would stay by him forever.

A breath escaped from my lips, the small exhale filling with exhaustion and the thousand other emotions that have crawled up under my skin, nestling inside me for a home. My head fell down to stare blankly at my hands, studying the pale touch of my skin. The curve of my palms were facing the skies, each line cutting through my palms, telling a story of their own, of love and of my life and many things that were unknown to me. Long slender fingers lightly graze the ground, their nails curving from the skin to reveal a milky half moon on each base of the nail, the skin smooth, soft, and so...unfamiliar. How can something that has forever been mine be so unrecognizable? If I were to stare at myself in the mirror, could I even see me anymore? Or would I look past myself? Past the soft skin and blue eyes to catch a glimpse of the ugliness inside, of the wild untamed emotions that have controlled me for so long, somehow leaving me behind, losing myself somewhere inside.

...I need a direction, I need something, because I'm just as lost as anyone out here.

...Maybe I just need hope.

My mind started to spin in thought, thinking back to every reaction that had sprouted inside of me, something that could have been placed as imprinting. What was the reaction supposed to feel like? Like an explosion of love, that hits you at first sight? Or is it more subtle, like a small click that suddenly changes your direction, subconsciously leading you to your imprint? A thought suddenly stopped the flow of my thoughts, bubbling into a question, curiosity threading through my every word.

"What if you were already in love with your imprint? Would you feel that moment of sudden realization? Or could it fall unnoticed..." I tapped my fingers lightly on my chin while Sean shifted in the grass, rolling his head to stare into me with those deep searching eyes. A storm started to rage against the heavy sides of my heart, mimicking the reality of the dark pounding rain eroding away the soft-mudded earth.

"I suppose it's possible." Sean attempted to hold onto a look of indifference, but underneath his facade there was his wild and untamed curiosity, searching for more. My lips pulled up into a smile, the coldness around me seemed to dim with the warmth emitted in Sean, an eternal flame billowing smoke from his core to swarm in his vast hazel eyes. "Obviously you would notice changes though, because when you change, everything changes with you."

Sean's stare alerted me that I had to think about this, his smoky hazel eyes digging for answers, searching for the words I had bitten down numerous times. I sighed, staring up at the misting skies above me, small rays of moonlight fighting its way out of the maze of darkness. I'm not going to deny what had started to grow when I was human, but what becomes difficult is that it had evaded my mind, growing without my knowledge until I was forced to acknowledge it. Like a weed, it had tangled itself inside so tightly it could not be removed, its gnarled roots wrapping around my heart, growing wild while it bloomed, flourishing inside.

Maybe Edward was the weed, with fine winding tendrils that strangle the heart he cast a shadow to any other potential, growing stronger as everything around him vanished. Though even neglected, the love I felt thrived, growing in the darkness of my mind, unknown and strange.

Even then, in the blurry days of my past I had felt urges, unexplainable desires to suddenly hold Alice, pulling her on my lap without a reason. Back then it was simple, my feelings were unrecognizable so these actions were conceived as innocent and wrote off without another thought, but now such embraces would linger in my mind, tainting the very innocence I thought I still obtained. Now this thriving love threaded with the wild emotions of jealousy and crazed desire, pulling along my muscles and tweaking the small strings along my heart. It even brought a darker side to my mind, the possessive anger that I had seen so many times in Edward. I had even wanted to _bite_ Alice, for reasons far beyond me.

My eyes shot up to see Sean's dark hazel eyes staring into me with that such intensity it sent shivers down my spine. I cautiously bit my lip, my fingers threading through my hair anxiously while my mind wrapped around the sudden mixture of curiosity and horror. Really, why_ had_ I wanted to bite Alice?

"I kind of wanted to bite her." My voice remained a soft whisper, the wind stealing away my words to brush them against the rough barks of trees. I refused to make eye contact with Sean, picking at the slim slivers of grass between my fingertips while my eyes trained on his long caramel fingers. Each cream coated finger slowly dug into the dirt, the moist soil rising from the ground to paint his fingers a sooty black. A warm breath brushed against the bare skin upon my shoulder, his body shifting to lie closer to me.

"Bite her? Why would you want to do that?" Suddenly this close proximity was too much, forcing me to snap out of my position, my muscles pumping with energy to pace back in forth. Shame wasn't even enough to describe what I was feeling, first the humility to owning up to an animal, then my lack of control, then the very thought of what I wanted was enough to drive me into a wild state of embarressment and horror. My fingers snarled through my hair, grasping at the straying strands to pull at them, my heart sinking while I lost control of myself.

"I don't know! We were both in the water and she was...well, on top of me, and I don't know, I just pinned her and...I just felt like I needed to...bite her." The sigh that left my lips stole all of the energy that had suddenly coursed through me seconds before, now leaving me to deflate in sudden exhaustion. I winced when my muscles coiled like tight springs. I couldn't bring myself to look at Sean, even when the soft pitter-patter of his footsteps against the moist ground broke the silence, I couldn't bring my gaze up to lock with his. Shame must have been written all over my face as it was gnarled in every fiber of my being, winding with each snarled ligament.

"Bells?" My eyes twitched up to meet the boy, his arms held out in a cautious way while he gave me a reassuring smile, the kind of smile you would give a wounded animal, afraid it would run away. I huffed out a breath, glaring at Sean while the joints in my knees trembled, letting me stumble backwards to reveal a hidden vulnerability. Upon the sliver of weakness, my arms wrapped around my sides as if to keep the seams of my body from falling apart, my lips letting a pathetic whimper escape me. Sean padded to my side, covering my arms with his warm iron restraints. While his embrace was sweet, it just continued to stir an uncomfortable mist through me; his warm hands left a burning imprint upon my skin. "It makes sense. If you think about it, it's the only logic that could tie you to Alice being your imprint."

Sean's arms tightened around me as my muscles constricted underneath my skin, coiling with surprise while my heart released an odd stutter, leaving a disjointed rhythm to replace the synchronized beating of my heart. Upon feeling the frightened flutter of my heart under his fingertips, Sean continued with his rushed words, his husky voice scratching in my ear.

"I mean, you have a beast inside you, something that is very raw and animalistic, probably very possessive. Your beast probably wanted to reassure its connections with its imprint, mark its territory or whatever." A heavy sigh fell from my lips, my head falling upon Sean's awaiting shoulder while small shaking breaths escaped my lips, trembles wracking my form. That is exactly what my beast would do, to mark what is ours. My eyes shut fiercely, my arms slowly lifting to wrap around the lean form of Sean, his warm skin leaving a burning sensation upon my fingertips.

"But...wouldn't that hurt the imprint? How...how can I intentionally want to hurt my other half?" Sean shrugged, his skin brushing against mine while he rested his head upon mine, pulling me closer to his body.

"I don't know very much about this, but I would imagine it being like a fusion between two metals, the bite symbolizing the melding between the two, each half forever entwined." My eyes flickered to Sean, watching his hazel eyes glaze over with a dream like gloss, the large orbs becoming glassy with a hazy clarity. I released another sigh; it is as if I am full of these exhales of breath these days, as if I have forgotten how to inhale.

"Great, so what am I going to do? Say Alice? You mind looking over there for a moment while I take a bite out of your neck? Splendid." I growled in frustration. "Oh, but only if you are my imprint, which may or may not be real." I only realized I was digging my fingernails into Sean when a small whimper escaped his lips, his warm fingers falling to rest on my clawed fingernails. Slowly, he pried away my fingernails, his large palm covering my entire hand, bringing our hands between us, lowering his head to catch my eyes. My lips trembled while a wave crashed over me, washing tears to pool in my eyes, the helplessness of my situation bringing a deep wrench in my heart.

"Hey." Sean cooed softly, his low voice washed over me while his warm breath wafted over my face. I tried to smile through the twisting coils in my heart, but my lips just trembled before falling to let a broken breath escape. "I'm not Jacob or Carlisle, I don't know very much about this mystical stuff, but what I gathered from what I saw today is that vampires kind of have a beast inside of them to."

"So?" My voice was trembling with unshed tears, quivering in the air while I fought back the desire to break down in sobs. For the second time that night, I just wanted to fall to pieces, to release this overflowing tension that is berating against every fiber of me, ripping apart the very seams that hold me together.

"So, they are possessive creatures as well, who knows, maybe Alice wanted to bite you back." With that Sean winked, his lips breaking out into a large grin while his chest vibrated with his soft chuckling. My head fell upon his warm chest, closing my eyes faintly while my hair proved to be a good curtain, hiding the sudden blush upon my cheeks. My heart started to hammer in my chest with images of Alice washing through my head, inflicting sparks of electricity to shoot from my pelvis to my neck before nestling down in my core, swarming with frantic butterflies. Sean's chuckling grew louder at the sight of my face, his hand drawing from under my chin, pulling my head up to his sight. Dark hazel eyes smoldered with amusement as he traced the bright blush upon my face, the warmth wafting off me in waves.

"Aww, you smitten kitten." My blush only grew darker, sending a small glare at the boy; I let my head fall back to his chest, unable to hide the small smile that grew on my face.

Sean rested his cheek upon my hair, his arms winding around me into a warm embrace. He doesn't notice that my smile gradually died, my mind slipping away from this moment of joy, of warmth and comfort. It falls away into what it feels most natural in, in its insecurity and enmity, to wallow in the deep oceans of distress.

We stood there, in our little meadow surrounded by trees, rain droplets starting to fall back to the earth while we caught small glimpses of the milky moon above our heads, the night streaming through the dark clouds. Through the heavy curtain of clouds, we saw the outline of a shining moon, its brilliant glimmer becoming a dim glow through the misting clouds.

I peered under the dark eyelashes covering my sight to see through the darkness of the night, Sean's bright smile stretching across his face, settling down upon the glossy grass beneath our feet. My heart coiled in response, a pang of jealousy tearing through the soft tissue's of my heart. My heart sank heavily in my chest while I watched the boy slowly drift away from reality, a small smile on his face. How is it that he can just be okay, his bright hazel eyes fluttering in peace while he slowly drifts off into a slumber. And even worse, how can I desperately wish it was him in the silence while I sleep soundly in my dreams. A shaky breath left my lips while my shoulders sagged with the weight of my emotions, self loathing cutting hooks through my skin, tearing and pulling through every muscle in my body.

The sleep I need evades me with ease, slipping past me, leaving me to wallow in this state of exhaustion. In this tired moment, I can feel the animosity dragging me down once more, its hold dragging me down without a breath of air, deeper and deeper into its ocean of misery.

I turned my head to stare blankly in the darkness, robbed of my sight; I could only see the outline of objects, just jagged lines in the dark. The guiding light from the moon hid from the world while it left us in complete darkness, my eyes tracing each peculiar form, now unrecognizable in its painted black coat. The souls of my feet pressed against the softness of the soil, leading me gradually away from Sean, his small breaths becoming a distinct tempo for my distancing figure. Like branches, my hands reached out from my sides, each fingertip brushing against the roughness of bark or the smooth marble of each rock, leading me in the blindness of the night.

I moved numbly, every movement that took me away from the meadow stayed hidden in my mind, my body just moving without a single thought from me. My eyelids fluttered close, seeing with each touch from my fingertips, each swift brush of air or grace of softness from the plants leading me through the unknown.

When music flowed to my ears I scavenged through my mind to find how much time had passed, how far I have been walking, yet I came up with only the blank darkness surrounding me. I blinked away the sudden flow of tears that welled in my eyes unrepentantly, my heart quivering in my chest, constricting with the beautiful tempo of the music. I let my arms drop; sighing heavily when my heart filled with the smooth string of velvety notes that cascaded through the air, bloating my heart with a melodic harmony. My heart heaved with the beauty of the music, each note sending delicate strings to wrap around my body, pulling me in like a sirens song.

My eyes traced the familiar curve of a house, the walls now tall and frightening in the dark while the front window's glass glimmered in the dim moonlight, letting small flecks of light to reflect off the smooth surface, briefly casting light in the seemingly abandoned house. The only evidence of company in the house was the delicate form of music flowing from inside, blindly pulling me into its path, dragging me with invisible notes.

In a blurry haze, I reached the cold stone steps, leading me to the door, pulling me to the beautiful sound of music. Before I could even blink, I was inside, my eyes trained on the lone figure upon the slick piano, her slender fingers moving swiftly down the ivory keys, each move flowing with eloquence and grace. My eyes traced the breaths that pushed and pulled at Alice's chest, her delicate shoulders moving to the soft rhythm of the music, elegantly moving her hands across the piano keys.

My eyes followed the fall of her dark hair dancing over her ivory skin, temporarily covering the golden pools of her eyes while her crimson lips quivered with each tremble in the music. All of the tightly wound contempt unraveled slightly, slipping away from my coiled muscles and restricted lungs, allowing a breath of air to pull me slowly from the endless ocean I had slipped into. Every movement then became a necessity, ensuring my need to close the distance between the gorgeous pixie, my breaths coming out pained rasps of air.

I took tentative steps until I came within reach, my arms constricting around Alice's slender torso, pulling the girl tightly to me. With Alice trapped in my arms, my head burrowed into the awaiting crook of Alice's neck. Alice gasped softly while a tremble coursed down her spine; the music abruptly stopped its beautiful flow. My heart constricted while every muscle froze, expecting to be pushed away my mind misted with a dark shadowing thoughts. Slowly, tentative fingers ran hesitantly through my hair before her other hand nestled upon the tight grip I had wrapped around her stomach, stroking my hand sweetly. My heart fluttered weakly in my chest, tightening my hold on her while a small smile played on my lips.

Everything was unraveling inside, my breath coming out ragged and rough, my heart playing with a broken beat while my lungs struggled to expand, seemingly forgetting how to function properly. She just waited patiently for my breathing to calm, my breath brushing against the cool skin of her neck while the ache in my chest slowly dulled into a ghost of a touch.

"Where is everyone else?" My whisper brushed against Alice's ivory skin, relishing in the feeling of Alice's shy fingers running through my hair. I released a shaky breath when I felt Alice shift slightly on her seat, leaning into my embrace. Moving swiftly she rested her head on my shoulder while her nose brushed sneakily against my neck. A small giggle bubbled out of her when a thick purr left my lips. I couldn't help it, her fingers were gentle and sweet, gingerly lacing through my hair with great care.

"Carlisle is hunting with Edward, to help calm him down. Esme is with Jasper, and Emmett is spending some...quality time with Rosalie." Oh, I see... I felt my cheeks heat up with my blush, earning tinkling laughter from Alice, her hand rising to cradle my blushing cheek. "Nice to know that hasn't changed."

I bit my lip, trying to hide the growing warmth that was swarming my chest, growing with every word and gentle movement she made. It's kind of sad to be affected so ferociously by the simplist things isn't it? I growled softly when her fingers stopped moving, tapping my finger against her stomach impatiently; earning a soft laugh from the pixie girl. Then for a blissful moment, it was as if we fell as one, my chest rising with hers, each movement falling in perfect synchronization as if we were one being, moving together. However, my mind clouded with other thoughts, darkening my clear mind with murky thoughts of another.

"So...h-how is he?" Then it was over, our movement became harsher and chaotic, clashing against each other in battle. Alice ripped away from me, bringing half of me with her. It was like a knife had split down my ribcage, breaking it open before tearing into my heart, ripping a ragged hole through me when Alice broke away, her dark eyes regarding me harshly. I fell heavily upon the smooth wooden chair, leaning lifelessly against the piano while Alice's harsh glare locked on me from across the room. The angered pixie now sat upon the soft cushioned seats of the couch, its auburn fur brushing across her fingertips while her hand traced random patterns on its skin.

"I'm sure I don't know who you're talking about." Alice's crimson lips quivered, her hard voice breaking lightly in the end while her stone completion eroded for a flimsy second, revealing a charade of panic and desperation.

I hardly noticed that I had leaned forward, my arms wrapped protectively around my chest as if to hide the gaping hole behind them. I peered into Alice's unwavering gaze, trying to uncover her many riddles, her every movement laced with an emotion. The slight tremble of her lips or the jerky movement of her fingers rushing harshly through her hair, or the uneven breaths that she took, each breath of air unnecessary and yet her chest shakes unsteadily, yearning for more. Each movement laced with importance, each one telling a different story that could untangle the confusion from my mind.

"I just...I wanted to..." I sighed looking down to the wood tiles leading me to the carpet, its creamy completion filling the entire room with light. I felt torn. A part of me wants Edward to be in pain, to suffer for everything that has happened to me. However, there is another side, just as demanding as the other, whispering harsh words through my head, making me doubt the right to even feel justified. "Is Edward okay?"

Alice's eyes narrowed, strands of her dark hair fell to sway above her pixie features, becoming a light curtain before being stopped by her swift fingers, capturing the rebelling strands of hair to tuck in behind her ear. I followed her swift movements absently, my arms tightening around my chest while ducking my head farther down, unable to hold her intense gaze, searching for answers not given.

A small sigh brought my head to snap up once more, watching Alice's head turn away, her eyes nestling upon the soft flesh of the couch, following the invisible patterns drawn on by her fingers.

"Why would you want to know...?" I caught the small whisper, the sound becoming the definition of exhaustion; her quivering voice successfully sunk my heart with its sound. My sinking heart reflected the sound of her voice, its pulse quivering weakly, mirroring the sadness that shadowed Alice and I. The hole in my chest seemed to expand, the vast hollowness increasing rapidly despite my attempts to keep myself together.

"Alice..." I felt like my arms were the only thing that was keeping me from breaking in half, both sides of my body seemed to hanging onto each other by delicate threads, if I were to release the tight grip around myself, I would fall to unfixable pieces. "Please, I just need to know." I need to know if he could be fixed, that maybe, if his broken heart could be mended then this family could be threaded back together again.

Alice's expression shattered, her helplessness twisted into a look of crushing despair, her body snapped forward so that she could suddenly pace the room. "Why should he matter to you? After everything that he has done to you, you come back asking if _he_ is okay?" Her voice strained as a small growl broke through her lips, rumbling in the air with unspoken anger. Her pacing stopped as she snapped to look at me, her dark misting eyes narrowing at me in an accusation. "Do you still love him?"

Her words were spoken with such coldness it frosted in the air, lacing with bitterness while her eyes became wild and impatient. My throat had tightened at the sudden turn of events, blinking in surprise at her accusation. My arms tightened around me, desperate to try and hold everything together while the person I hold so dearly snarls at me. I took in a shaky breath while trying to calm the sudden painful heaving in my heart, churning sickly in my chest. Slowly, I appraised this unknown Alice, her wild eyes waiting for an answer, narrowed and sharp. Everything about the calm and patient Alice seemed to have molded into her polar opposite, her entire body buzzed with impatience and stormy outrage.

I eyed this new Alice, not knowing how to confront her, not wanting to test _just_ how unstable she could be. With Edward, I knew exactly how my words could affect him, where his weakness was and how to reach it. With Alice, my words could only hurt her more or they could heal the growing wound that had cut into her.

Slowly, with my arms still wrapped tightly around my chest, I stood from the wooden bench beneath me. My joints complaining from the movement while every tender bone shook, afraid of shattering. Alice lifted her chin in defiance, the small slits of her eyes tracing the closing distance with caution, her legs taking her a step backwards while I advanced. The heartache in my chest expanded roughly within that one moment, the aching hollowness of my being continued to increase, my hold slowly slipping. Tears welled in my eyes but I wished them away, blinking the unwanted sign of weakness away for just a moment longer.

"No, I don't." I watched for a change in her appearance but was disappointed when she remained frozen, her features remained still and harsh as if cut roughly from stone. My heart struggled to remain calm when Alice's lips curled forming a harsh snarl, the vast hole in my chest spreading wider while my arms become weak from holding myself together.

"Then why do you _care, _Bella. How is it that you could _possibly _want to know if Edward was okay?" Alice's voice whipped out of her lips, sharp and jagged as it cuts deeply into my skin, injecting the hidden venom within her words. I silently try to catch my breath, but it simply evades my hold, slipping past me while my chest heaves painfully. The impact of Alice's words drove a thick stake into my heart, making me wonder, how many times can a heart break? The words unintentionally weaved through my mind, coaxing back the tightly wounded thoughts back to my attention, the helpless self-loathing that had started to drag me into an endless ocean of contempt.

My knees trembled, asking silently for mercy, as if I had the means to soothe them. I opened my mouth to speak but a strangled cry escaped my lips, shocking Alice momentarily from her static stature, her eyes softening to look upon my eroding frame. I struggled to speak quickly before I completely break apart.

"I care b-because I-I don't want to make him hurt anymore. I am done ruining_ everything_ that I come into c-contact with. I am so very _sick_of myself, of what I have done, of everything. I...I..." My arms fell apart, breaking the delicate threads that had kept me in one piece, now shredded I allowed the gaping hole in my chest to rip me in half, falling to small unfixable pieces. My knee's buckling from the force of my heart break, the vast hole in my chest ripped me apart, reducing me to a wounded animal on the floor, crying weakly while tears finally fell from my eyes. The force of my tears sliced a razor through my lungs, digging deeper with each haggled breath, unable to fully inhale with oxygen. My throat burned with the force of my cries, my chest heaving while sobs wracked my form, my fingernails digging into the wood beneath me.

"Oh honey, come here." Alice's soft cooing of words whispered into my ear while her cool hands wrapped around me, pulling me onto the couch with her. I immediately wrapped my arms around her, desperate to feel her cool touch, my head burrowing into her neck for comfort while her smooth hands drew soothing circles on my back.

She shifted on the couch, her small body lying completely flat while I curled around her small frame, my fingers entangling in her hair to bring her head impossibly closer. She cooed softly into my ear, the soft trails of her smooth fingers wiping away my tears, another hand leading up to cradle my jaw softly, caressing my skin with a soft thumb. Somehow, my broken heart was still able to flutter when Alice's lips changed directions, leaving small kisses to melt upon my skin.

My tears landed heavily on Alice's shirt, her fingers sweet and encouraging while they dance across my skin, running lightly through the chestnut locks of hair. I whimpered softly into Alice's skin, nuzzling my head into her neck, my arms falling to constrict around her waist to pull her closer.

It was a while before my tears subsided; leaving ugly wet stains upon Alice's beautiful shirt, my fingernails imprinted into Alice skin while her hands swept through my hair.

"Oh, your shirt." My words mumbled tiredly into her ear, trying to move away from possibly damaging her shirt more. Alice's hands just pulled me closer to her again, her head lifting to nuzzle the skin underneath my chin, leaving feather like kisses on my neck. My eyes fluttered close while a static shock swept through my body, humming loudly inside while it crept through each muscle, shaking my nerves and weakening every bone.

"It doesn't matter." My lips pulled into a small smile before snuggling into her small form, my eyelids drooping with the force of my exhaustion, each muscle in my body cried out for mercy.

I was right. When I had released my arms I fell apart, each small fiber of me shredding to pieces, my heart collapsed into itself, crushing in my chest. Yet I hadn't fathomed that there would be someone to thread me together again, somehow picking up each unfixable piece and mended them together again, melting each piece with soft words and promises, reassuring each word with an even softer kiss.

I smiled softly in the comfort of Alice's arms, closing my eyes to retreat into the once evaded sleep, which now welcomed me warmly. Alice hummed me a melody, not caring that I had permanently destroyed her shirt, had gathered me in her arms and let me cry, something I hadn't done in a long time. Before I drifted to sleep, I felt the beast inside purr with its overwhelming joy, finally allowing me to rest while in the arms of my love.

A single word as sleep took a hold of me. _Imprint. _

**Alright so longer chapter? Yes it is. I know, **_**another **_**kissless chapter. Im evil. **

**OKAY, I personally hated this chapter. I mean look at the size of this thing, and even I think its a bit...dark. Yes but the next one is going to be a lot lighter I promise. The reason why this chapter ended up so long was because I amazingly had a lot of information to just sprinkle in there. Ugh, exhausting. Anyway, another reason was because I was trying to go for the whole "Go through hell to get to heaven" kind of thing. I acheived hell pretty well, now im just nervous about the next part. ;) **

**And I know people think Bella is a _bit (very) o_blivious, I agree. This was not my true intention, but sadly, I am a bit oblivious to begin with so maybe I accidently without realizing, that I made Bella suffer through that. D: oh no!**

**And I know most of you hate Sean, but I love the boy! So my apologies but im not going to kill him…yet. (evil laughter) hehe. Sorry…continuing on!**

**Also, important links are on my profile. I always pictured Bella Swan differently, so I have what I thought she should look like on my profile. Not that Kristen Stewart isnt pretty or even resembles Bella a little bit, its just that when I was reading the books I pictured this girl for Bella. **

**And I also drew a little picture for Just A Pet. Tell me if its good!**

**Review please?**


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE:

**A/N: Finally? **

**Oh yeah. And this is in ALICE'S point of view. **

**A:**

Why didn't I think this through?

I shook my head, chastising myself for falling into another dangerous situation. I have been lying on this couch with a warm and purring Bella curled into me. For about two hours. Two hours. Well, it's not like I don't enjoy it. It's just been _two hours _and really, Edward's hunting trip can't take _that _much longer.

And though I _need _to move, all I can think about is how I can feel the sweet lull of warm breaths tickle past my ear, or how each soft swallow twitches her throat and makes her snuggle closer to me. These small movements kept me paralyzed with the sweet hum of her purr thrumming in the air.

Strands of dark chocolate shine with a variety of different shades, all entwined together with such pristine perfection it was as if the hair was fashioned from silk. The mangled hair is currently tickling my throat as strands of it lie across my shoulder.

So her hair _might _be a fetish of mine, I admit it. Ever since I had the privilege to cut her hair when she was human, I have been somewhat addicted. It's a hard thing to resist. Often I find myself running my fingers through the dark locks or fashioning it in a position of my pleasing.

As I appear to be doing right now. Do I even _have _self-control?

Bella seemed to be enjoying the attention however, and my fingers seemed disinterested in anything that didn't involve rolling through the thick chocolate locks. So I shrugged, raising both hands to lift the thick hair off her shoulders and thread through it, weaving it into different braids before unwinding them again.

I hadn't realized how the time had passed until the shadows forming along the corners of the room started to cast their darkening limbs over us, constructing Bella's usually delicate features into an assertive form. The hollows that swell beneath her cheekbones darkened and, and consequently, forced the smooth frames of her cheeks to jut out aggressively, becoming angularly pronounced.

And her lips. They part deliciously close to mine, casting the sweet smell of roses into my senses and inconspicuously pulling me closer. I feel my eyes flicker down to them, and I can't help but wonder what they would taste like. If they would feel as silky soft as they look, or if they would press into my own if I just leaned a little closer.

_You could call it an accident. _

I feel the world around us slip a little farther away, and its just the little couch, Bella and I, and plump lips inches away from mine. I swallow, feeling increasingly nervous, trying fruitlessly to aid the parched walls within my throat. Dryness unlike the ravenous thirst that I have grown accustomed to, it surges through my entire being, roaring like a summer wind in the Sahara desert.

The warm _thumps _of her heart feels tremendous against me, like a boulder crashing onto the rocky bottom of a hollow cave, just echoing blindly in the emptiness.

_So close. Just kiss her. _

My eyes find her lips again, and now I fear that her aroma has officially made me delusional, because now her lips have taken an impossible form of rose petals. Glistening with rain drops on their crimson tips, smooth and sweet just waiting to be touched.

I inch closer.

_Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her. _

I attempt to daunt the thoughts that flutter happily through my head, like birds in there cages, with a lethargic shake of my head. But they remain determined, chirping sweetly with their soft melodies filling my head. I turn my head, eying the large bay window with unwavering attention while I kept my faulty breaths even.

It's sometimes hard to separate the consequences of real life and the life I had formulated secretly, or as secretly as you can with a mind reader in your midst, in my head.

Vampires may not have the indulgence to dream, but we do allow a state of wistfulness to pass through our minds. During this nebulous mind swirl, the mind under this wistful blanket could bring up nostalgic memories to relive, or for me, create an entire fabrication in place for my real life.

In this sweet alternative life, Bella and I still fall into that sweet charming friendship, but its not tainted with my desire to rein in my feelings. I let it free; let it pull me to Bella without strong hands keeping me back. The friendship flourishes before breaking away to reveal a path that could lead us to something more.

She knows all my secrets as I know all of hers. Like all the details about my past, or more like the emptiness about it.

How I'm filled with empty holes like a sponge that holds nothing but the present and future. In those times of weakness, it doesn't matter that I'm a monster, she holds me close and rocks me in her arms like the whole world just crumbled from beneath our feet and it's just Bella and me.

Edward is a detail that darkens my nectarous little lie. So he remains empty, just someone to stand in the background to smile and wave. Perhaps its childish, but to be honest? It's _my _fantasy, and he has enough control as it is.

Naturally, I always hit a snag when I think of Bella becoming a vampire. Would I have made the same mistake? Could I have left Bella?

If I were to ever be honest with myself, a part of me could understand what had been leading my brother through his actions. The harrowing thought of Bella's heart becoming a cold unbeating stone that sat wallowing in her chest was an agonizing one.

But it was never the sound of her heart that kept me by her side, or her blood that kept my attention, so if such things were to be silenced, the absence would be aching but nothing compared to the absence of her entirely. And despite whatever my brother has convinced himself, I know that Bella isn't a five-year old and has thoughts and opinions of her own.

So this beautiful and terrible concoction has been replayed and reused, bent and folded like a note that's been passed through stages of people - the words blurring together and the paper creviced and crinkled.

Now I want more, after draining every aspect of this dream, I feel the thirst again. I know every form and shape of it, to the furniture in our one-story house twenty years from now, to the memories that we retell like fairy tales to the curious neighbors who ask how we met. Now I want something palpable.

I know building such extravagant fabrications is unhealthy and this is probably the kind of obsession that one would want a restraining order placed out for me. But it's started and like hell if I could stop it.

But even this simple indulgence of building such blissful lies or dreaming of the details of wedding days and pearly white dresses has been stripped from me by someone who has already taken too much.

Such thoughts are only allowed when Edward is gone, like I have no right to think in my own head. And I have a feeling that Bella being curled into my chest wont be one of those acceptable things. Moving really should be on the to-do list.

...

And still nothing.

I don't move a single inch.

Maybe its because these arms around me are seriously like iron restraints, and moving seems just as useless as swimming in an ocean with an anchor wrapped tightly around my feet, but the most pertinent reason would be that my limbs have simply betrayed me.

So as to keep things simple, I just remain limp underneath Bella, still happily playing with her hair.

Casting a look in the corner of my eye, I catch one of Bella's spontaneous smiles. Her pink lips curling over her suddenly shiny teeth into a cute grin, her nose crinkling to supplement her actions. It was times like these that I envied my brother, wishing endlessly to be able to peer into the complicated workings of Bella's mind, just to know what makes her smile like that.

But then I remember that Edward can't read Bella's mind, and the everlasting joy for that fact returns. As well as the desire to remain myself.

Because although I lacked certain qualifications to be Bella's boyfriend when she wanted one, it was times like these that had me appreciating my diminutive form. When we fit involuntarily together like corresponding puzzle pieces, even if the relationship between us is as insufferable as a friendship.

Bella's body suddenly vibrated, her throat throbbing with the sudden heart-warming purr. I blinked, looking over Bella hesitantly, surprised by her sudden combustion into purring like a kitten stretched out in the sun. What this girl dreams about will seriously be an agonizing enigma.

It wasn't until everything faded to an inky black that I realized I had been receding into a familiar distance. I felt my body go limp while my mind drifts from the present, my conscious flickering with quickly printed images.

_Snarls erupt wildly from tainted pink lips, the remnants of blood painting the pale underside of his lower lip. Dark amber eyes glare hostility into the scene he broke into, the sight of his sister and the love of his life curled tightly together on the couch. _

_It may have been innocent, it may have been meaningless but it didn't stop the immediate rage from blazing once more. _

_The pixie's head snapped to look at him, the swirling golden-hue eyes eclipsing into darkness, watching helplessly underneath the weight of the were-cat, she snarls weakly at the incoming presence of her brother. _

_His steps click menacingly against the floor before they abruptly stopped and dark misty eyes stare blankly at his sister. _

_The girl barely manages a scratchy growl that cracks weakly in the air, the sound nearly bringing her to wince at how weak it sounds, but refusing to be defeated, she moves her arms to wrap protectively over Bella. _

_The man remains calm, his features controlled and unwavering with no sight of anger even present in expression. _

_Calm and collected. _

_Then he turns and leaves, walking calmly from the couch until the the vampire can't see him anymore. Alice remains frozen, her eyes still watching the area in which her brother had disappeared from, blinking as if that would suddenly revive the image it had shown just moments ago. _

_Then she gasps when it does, her brother suddenly looming over her again. _

_Only now, blaring differences poked through the image held before, altering everything._

_Now, his dark coal eyes held a corrugated danger that slithered precariously in their depths, its dark surface coiling in a sinister meaning holding secrets adhered to only him. _

_A small object glimmered slightly, bringing eyes to its position. The man held the object delicately in his palm, stroking it softly as if admiring its texture. Four corners poke through the small bulk of the object, its different hues of colors stripe around its sides while a rough red patch glares angrily at the pixie vampire. _

_Dark eyes gaze at the wooden box for a moment before carefully sliding the bottom from underneath the top, holding the bottom gently in his structured fingers._

_Swiftly he fishes out the object within the box and suddenly the meaning of his odd actions suddenly makes sense. _

_A match flickers between his fingertips, its crimson top covered with a chemical just waiting to ignite. _

_Suddenly Alice is cured from her momentary paralytic ways, moving frantically from her tight grip from the were cat. In the fight of their entanglement, Bella growls softly before the couch no longer supports their presence and dumps them onto the ground. _

_Bright electric eyes flutter open, staring wordlessly into the now inky eyes of the pixie. It takes fractions of a second to register the situation before realization dawns on her face when the scent of fire exhaust drifts towards her. Anger is her second choice however, and it claims her features fiercely. _

_There is movement crackling in one of the girl's body, snaps and pops pierce the air while the two vampire's simultaneously clench their jaw, preparing for what's about to come. _

_A robust body lurches upward, claws wicking from paws, teeth baring from its gruff muzzle, silky fur shifting slightly while heavy pants escape through sharp fangs. A soft thump resonates through the air when four heavy paws collide against the floor, the sound of claws clicking against the wood tick like bombs in the air. _

_The panting beast snarls, its muzzle crinkling, a long slender tail flicking angrily behind it. The flexing movements of Edward's jaw grinds on the animal's nerves, pinning its ears to the back of its skull while a throaty snarl resonates in its chest. _

_The beast hovers ominously over Edward, muscles flexing under its glossy meshed fur. A silent conversation seemingly passed between the vampire and beast, its silence stagnating a certain tension through the room. _

_Then without another warning, the beast lurched forward, teeth snapping while its strong jaw clenched onto his structured torso. Ribs protested before splintering under the mechanic crunch of Bella's teeth, a throaty yelp ripping from the owner of the breaking body. _

_Like a pit-bull, the robust animal locks her jaw, whipping her head to the side to collide the body in its jaws on to his back, the man releasing a grunt once his body made impact with the ground. _

_The wild cat followed in suit, curving as her ribs pushed out against her skin with the force of her growls, her teeth latching dangerously into his body again and without a second of hesitation. The slow drawl of the beast's heart flutters with increasing speed, now pacing the beat of her hell-bound desires of her thirst that constricts tightly around her like a snake, bounding its oily black body ever so tighter. _

_Delicious sounds of bones snapping fill the air like wind chimes tinkling in the wild wind. A weak mewing of pleads leave the man's lips, only riling the animal up inside. _

_Then all too suddenly, Bella releases Edward's mangled body. A beat of silence allowed surprise and a flicker of hope to enter the wounded expression of the man on the floor. _

_Only to meld into confusion and foreboding when the large mass of the animal's paws slid against the floor, her electric misty eyes staring darkly into the man's almost pleading gaze. She hovers over him, power and domination illuminating inside her, showing brightly through the thicket of her fur and muscle. _

_And yet she just stares, repeating the drawl of her claws scratching deeply into the wood. The sounds seem to make more of an impression than the movement itself, the man wincing with each screech of wood. The tiger's snout crinkles in amusement as if to smile at the torment ridden in the man's face, her tail flickering wildly behind her. _

_There is a certain sweetness inside the torment that makes her rumble softly in satisfaction. Because it's a game. It's the sick pleasure a cat receives when it waits patiently for the mouse, under its penetrating gaze, to start running again. Just a game. _

_Then all too suddenly she halts, the abrupt movement startling even her. Bright electric eyes locking into Edwards smoldering dark gaze, cocking her large head to the side, caught up in sudden confusion. _

_Nestled into her side, stands the smallest vampire, her fingers ensnared into locks of glistening coral fur. Burying her face into the warm body, she clenches her eyes tightly together and brings the large animal closer to her little lithe body. _

_Shades of apricot, dashing white and black fur bristles, standing up against her prodigious body. Claws dig into the wood while Edward is immediately forgotten, her eyes flickering to the small body pressed against her side. And, with Edward, the game is forgotten and tossed aside. _

_Alice and Bella meet eyes, but something is off. Something in the dark ocean eyes of her were cat is different and it suddenly strikes a moment of panic inside. _

_"Bella?" She breathes, releasing the animal to stare questionably into the dark cryptic eyes. She doesn't even realize she's backing away until the animal starts prowling closer, eyes locked on hers. _

_Both vampires watch as Bella dips her head down so that her muzzle is almost touching the ground, just to keep their eyes locked, her tail swaying lowly from between her hind legs. _

_Gulping heavily, Alice try's to speak again but falters when the sturdy form of the couch presses against her back. For a moment, the vampire wonders if she's alive, for her heart is fluttering, beating erratically without a single drop of blood to prove life exists within her. _

_Lifting a hand to her chest, she feels her heart lurching in excitement and her knees tremble in fear. Two contradicting emotions seem to entwine together in her body perfectly and yet set her apart even further. The monster that remains nestled deeply in her body awakens, not from fear but from something else entirely, severing the bond that keeps then one. Now the beast is restless, swarming wildly behind the cages of her bones and skin. _

_Peering through dark lashes, Alice watches as Bella crosses slowly to her, head still bowed and claws clicking against the wood. The beast inside Alice moves restlessly, its impatience and urgency seeping through out her small frame. _

_Then it hit her._

_Her beast __**wants**__ this._

_Wanting seems weak in comparison to the emotion coiling around the dark thirst in Alice's beast, such a rich _need_. The crushing weight berating against Alice's ribs increases with every light paw touching the wood, each step that leads the beast to her. _

_Then Bella stops inches from Alice, the tiger's eyes closing briefly with the sensation of cool breath fanning against her face. _

_Then they open._

_And its nothing like the ocean eyes Alice knows. _

_Because now, they are dark and wild, a nebulous mist smoldering in there chamber of darkness. _

_In a hazy state of confusion, Alice almost steps forward to meet Bella, but before such an action could take place, Bella snaps upright, sitting on her haunches while her tail curls over her hind legs. Claws stretch from the large masses of her paws, sinking into the couch supporting Alice. _

_The tiger rumbles softly before her spine stiffens and the enormous body of the beast looms over her like the night sky, seemingly far away and yet its dark aurora surrounds every inch of her. _

_Then in a fluttering moment, Bella snaps her teeth and sinks her fangs deep into Alice's shoulder. _

I awoke as if by a dream, a sharp gasp spiraling between my lips, now whistling out from between my teeth, set tightly on edge. Bella jostled from my abrupt movement, a small hiss of annoyance snarling from her lips before tranquility relaxed her features once more, slipping away into that desired dream.

What. The. Hell.

What had I just seen? Had Bella really wished to hurt me? Why?

My mind was at its end, unraveling to its seams from the force of each driving question. And really, not even the questions could possibly be responsible for the confusion and startling revelations that had dawned on me only seconds before. Because my reaction was forming a question of its own, a _much_more pressing question.

As in, why the hell am I turning my head to expose the skin of my neck? Or why don't I feel compelled to leave _at all_. In fact, this small revelation has kept me more ironed to the couch then any other reason presented before.

And despite the certitude of my imperishable existence, I find myself gasping for breath. Like I _needed _it. In all reality, it doesn't soothe me in the slightest, but the action still confounds me nonetheless.

I focus on the weaving of the couch I now press into desperately, concentrating on how each individual thread weaves and entangles neatly with an adjacent thread. And while I concentrate heavily on this fascinating view, I catch Bella's eyelids fluttering, lines carving into her forehead as the harsh movements riveting my usual lulling breath perturb the sleeping were cat.

And I panic.

I'm not sure why I feel like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar, but when Bella's eyelids fluttered, and the possibility of her waking up surfaced, it drove me to do the idiocy that seems to plague my decisions. Whether from my fear of being bitten or my fear of _wanting _to be bit, I abide to my impulse to rid of any evidence of this encounter.

I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking - that if Bella woke up and met my gaze, she could see through the gauzy golden irises and be ambushed with the onslaught of images swirling wildly in my head. Or that she would see, instead of gold, the dark murky eyes staring back at her with something more -much- more than friendliness or fondness, but desire rippling in the inky depths.

And with that truculent thought, my knee jerked upwards swiftly, colliding with the soft skin of Bella's stomach as my body rolls with the twists and turns my mind seemed content in taking.

A surprised yelp falls from Bella's lips while a flail of arms and legs whip through the air, the arch of her back slumping onto the floor with a ravishing flourish. However, my attempt to rid of the tense proximity between us is thrown straight back in my face when my body follows in suit, landing softly - cushioned by Bella - between slender and bare legs as my head nestles into the warmth of Bella's neck.

The next moment becomes deadly silent, and it's almost as if time had frozen as well - waiting anxiously for commotion to spontaneously combust from the uneasy tension swirling around us. I _know _Bella is awake now, because her breaths have just hitched to an impossible height, now struggling to release from what must be strangled lungs in her chest.

And I'm hit with a sudden abundance of uncertainty. Should I move? Or would that just make everything awkward, but if I don't move, this may very well get more uncomfortable.

_Play it smooth, totally just laugh it off. _

However this mental proposition crumbled away when I attempted to open my mouth, my laugh becoming a strangled choke as the sweet salty skin brushed against my lower lip, grazing it in a playful, teasing manner. Then, it was as if my inner thought's tuning quirked, cranking to an entirely different station, leaving only loud static to crackle in my ears.

Like a shark tasting a hint of blood, a surge of desire rolled uneasily through me and I felt myself stiffen, muscles straining suddenly with the force of my restraint. It was almost as if time had regressed back to when Bella was a human with a tantalizingly sweet scent, striking up that same buried primal instinct to bite.

I felt my jaw loosen as the roots of my teeth throbbed, sending an electric chill down my spine. My body was following all the actions, but my mind was left far behind, fumbling for the lifeline as it swam in deep waters.

It was only when Bella dislodged a quiet hum from her throat, revealing in her discomfort, that I was able to vanquish the inexorable demand to sink my teeth into territory forbidden. Blinking, I climb up and off of Bella, inwardly marveling at my awkward and clumsy movements that should have been prohibited from the flawless creation of vampires. Yet here I am. Being awkward.

"Um..." Oh god. Please, say something. Anything! _Please _don't just stare at her.

The staring continues. I might as well unlatch my jaw and leave that hanging to the floor as well. My eyes have been enraptured in the dark brewing storm whirling in Bella's eyes, leaving my gawking completely noticeable.

But I am incompetent in proceeding in any other action, all but staring, dark-eyed, at one Isabella Swan. It's all because of the hazelnut curls flowing and framing around Bella's heart-shaped face, and the soft hesitent smile that lifts Bella's lips.

However, her eyes have also caught my attention, such as now, they currently squint from the exertion of her eyebrows furrowing together. Probably wondering why my eyes have been staring at her intently for the last few seconds, growing darker with each tick of the clock.

I felt my dead heart stutter in its silence, dawning on the realization that my eyes must be darker than ink by now.

"Bella, would you like me to make you some pancakes? Or maybe waffles, eggs, bacon or any other edible substance that would be breakfast-y? I know it's hardly breakfast time, however, since we missed the usual time slot for dinner I suppose breakfast should be served. Better early than late, I suppose."

Never mind, please never talk again. Ever.

The silence that followed grew thicker with tension. I sighed, rubbing the bridge between my eyes as if that would smooth the carvings of stress that had enscripted itself into my forehead. I just know that I would be blushing right now, bright red. Being dead has its advantages I suppose.

"Waffles, please." I peeked through my eyelashes at Bella, who prided herself in staring smugly at me, a smoldering amusement glowing deeply in her blue eyes. It almost looked predatory, her lips curling over her teeth to show a slow smirk, eyes twinkling in its dark cryptic manner. "But first, I think you should eat first, your eyes are looking a bit dark."

Oh god. _Oh god. _My knees undertook tremors that shot up to my spine, spreading with raw prickling needles across my skin. I fumbled awkwardly, stepping over her after mumbling a shaky "Okay"

She doesn't know does she? No of course not, I haven't been _that _obvious.

Oh, god she knows. Oh _god. _Okay, calm down, it may not be that bad.

Right foot, left foot, right foot. This is all my mind could concentrate on at the time being, just focusing on the movement of the sole of my feet grazing the floor. It was somewhat reassuring, that the ground was still under my feet, especially when I feel so far away right now.

If I let anything else slip into the confinement of my mind I know what would happen, the alerts would ring in my mind like loud beseeching bells, and the dark cryptic eyes that have been staring at the back of my head since getting up would probe and poke at my conscious.

I heard movement behind me, and like a switch, my senses awoke and ensnared in everything that was Bella. In the dark mist of my sight, I saw her storming eyes, staring with an unsettling knowledge whirling in their ocean depths. I saw the curl of her lips, predatory but managing a gentleness that softened the edges of her smirk, making it melt with an affection that I craved for, a darker desire than the crimson blood that pulses through many other hearts. All I had focused on was hers.

I almost spun around. I almost turned on my heel and took her there. Knowing that Edward would cross this threshold within any second, my mind was still quick to abandon any inhabitants in favor of crossing a boundary that I have been hesitant to cross.

_Almost. _Almost because unfortunately - or fortunately - when I set my mind on something, everything else falls away to a misty irrelevance. Including furniture that could possibly be of harm to my already bruised pride. So when my body took action to spin, set in a spurring motion, it didn't register the fact that an object could very well be in front of me, and thus further deepening my relationship with idiocy.

The frame of the door was the unfortunate component in this predicament, crumbling inward as its thin oak frame absorbed the power exerted from my body when undergoing my attempt to turn. The splintering of wood cackled loudly in the air, disrupting any thought process that had been able to form.

I again had to question the nature of vampires; I don't remember encountering anyone that had blundered up so many times in the course of a few minutes. I sighed, irritation seeping through my breath as I glared at the thin board. My irritation only hiked when a small husky chuckle disrupted my inner monologue.

Grinding my teeth, I shot a glare through narrowed eyes at Bella, pursing my lips at her. Sadly, my intimidating glare only came out, apparently, as a disgruntled pout, thus increasing my cuteness. Or at least this is what I am assuming from Bella's increase of roaring laughter.

"Oh, shut up." I pout, scuffling the floor with my right foot, properly embarrassed. Bella at least attempted to reel in her laughter, placing a delicate hand to press against her lips, muffling her laughter instantly. However, her eyes still smoldered with mirth and glowing amusement, much to my displeasure. My lower lip trembled.

"Oh sweetie, I'm not laughing at _you_. Just at the fact that you slammed into the door." I narrowed my eyes, sticking my tongue out at her. Bella grinned happily, her eyes illuminating with an inner joy, emitting a carefree persona that I haven't seen in...well, a long time. It was the type of look that aerated the tangled tendrils of my heart, filling it with a warm fluttering giddiness. The strained muscles along my legs twitched, wanting to step closer as the distance becoming painfully evident.

Bella seemed to agree, her hand drifting from her lips to the sturdy frame of the couch, her fingertips gingerly grazing the furniture as it acted as a guide to her wandering hand. To this small movement, her heart jolted with a bittersweet melody.

There was something between us, stagnating in the silence while it constructed a peculiar sensation to envelope me. The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stood to attention from the static filtering between us, crackling in a low hum of electricity. It only increased with Bella's tentative steps closer, the low hum filling in the silence that was meant for words.

I know I need to move. But I was bedeviled with the same paralysis that I had encountered when we were on the couch. Just _frozen. _I might as well just give up now, if this is the most of my reactions I am going to diverge into. Frozen still. All rhyme and reason just fluttering from my body and soul in a second's time. It's frustrating to say the least.

Had the circumstances been different, then sure, Bella, keep me as long as you would like. But they aren't. And though I have chosen to be completely oblivious to the threats that have been poking through, they still remain daringly present.

Bella stepped closer. I wouldn't know this had I not been staring intently at the ground for the last passing seconds, the pads of her feet grazing the floor in complete silence. And this action caught me off guard, startling me like a doe hearing the swift cracks of branches upon the thrashed forest floor. My back suddenly reacquainted with the adamant wall of our house as I stumbled backward.

Bella suddenly reeled backward; surprised by the movement my muscles have conventionally decided to splurge on. The dark cryptic eyes that she awoke with suddenly dissipated, lightning to a lighter blue while it colored with many different emotions. Surprise, concern, hurt, and a darker storm that lingered momentarily in the base of her pupil, all flashing rapidly through her eyes in a flickering rate.

Just from peering from underneath my eyelashes, gazing at her face, I can guess how I look now. Cornered into the wall with my upper back pressed heavily against its surface while my knees suffered through the worst of its tremors. My hands having shot up in the movement, my fingers now curl into my palms while they burrow into the feathers of my hair. I must look like some caged animal. Had her expression not conveyed this fact yet, her actions would have been a dead give away.

Hesitantly, Bella took a step towards me, her right hand gently rising in an attempt to soothe whatever convulsion my body had experienced. Her heart skipped a beat when I peered up at her, her concerned gaze smoldering with confusion and dark arbitrary questions. She looked worried, and I could hardly blame her. I'm worried too.

What the hell is happening to me?

I need to get out.

"Thirsty." Had my voice not sounded so horse and raspy, I would have winced at my performance. "I'm sorry Bella. I have to leave for a little bit." I fumbled to open the door before casting a forced smile Bella's way, closing the door before I even gave her a chance to respond. My heart plummeted harshly into the coils of my stomach, ricocheting back into the cages of my ribs.

Releasing a raspy breath, I hopped down the first step down our front staircase, my arms already winding around my body as if to procure some weak protective shield. I may not be thirsty, but god do I need blood. Even for just a distraction.

XxXx

I released a soft sigh, my eyes grazing the brown-ruffed fur of the young doe, munching happily on the slender blades of grass beneath it. Ears flicker at the sound of my released breath, cocking in different directions while its slender muzzle continued its humdrum task.

The heavy thumps of her heart protrude from the silence, pulling me closer to the warmth swirling beneath the thin layer of fur and skin. Slipping closer, I crouch down into the adumbrate shadow casting over me, my fingertips casually digging into the dirt.

A faint growl rumbled in my chest, my lips revealing the drastic curves of the fangs hiding behind them. The deer, having heard the sound, tossed its head up in surprise. Large brown eyes met mine, widening from the sight as her muscles clenched in anticipation underneath her thick glossy fur.

A sharp growl left my lips as I lurched forward, my fingers ensnaring in the rugged chocolate fur around its neck. My lips gingerly pressed against her throat, feeling the throbbing pulse of blood flowing erratically beneath her skin. Gently, I pressed my lips against her fur in a soothing touch before sinking my teeth into her jugular. The animal let out a soft mew, its limbs shaking tenderly against my knees while ragged breaths left its muzzle.

This was my least favorite part. A part of me relished this, the feel of the blood flowing from my prey's veins to trickle down my throat, was delicious. Even the sensation of her heart thundering against the palm of my hand, her pulse throbbing against my lips sent an electrifying thrill down my spine. However, the soft cries she pants out always finds a way to thread through my ravenous thirst, my empty heart enduring the sharp pangs it delivers.

Feeling the need to reassure the animal, I released one hand from my firm grasp around her neck to caress its slim muzzle. Closing my eyes, I swallowed gently as the blood swept down my throat, savoring the bittersweet sensation while my fingertips brushed and caressed the frightened animal's head.

The doe's heavy heartbeats eventually became slower, stumbling in its rhythmic pattern, skipping and spluttering while the blood diminished to a weak trickling stream. Swallowing the last of the horribly delicious blood, I laid the limp body down to the floor, readjusting the doe's head to lie gingerly on the soil in a respectable manner. Biting my lip, I let my hands linger momentarily, my fingertips running through the course fur to its stiff and unmoving back, patting the glistening fur one more time.

"It's dead Alice, its not going to come back to life to thank you for treating it fairly." I snapped my head up to glare at Edward, my hair fluttering over my forehead to rest conveniently over my eyes. Plucking the stray strand of hair out of my way, I tucked it neatly behind my ear, keeping my glare from underneath my eyelashes. Edward simply rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the tree he was leaning on. "Look, I think we need to have a talk."

I narrowed my eyes, keeping our uncomfortable eye contact a moment longer before huffing a soft breath and breaking it. Looking down to the dead deer, I lifted one shoulder into a half-shrug in a flimsy attempt to appease his request. However, when I made no attempt to come closer, Edward released a low growl, his irritation already shimmering through his newly formed golden hues. I raised my head, quirking an eyebrow at my brother before heaving a heavy sigh, slowly standing from my kneeled position.

"Well then, what did you want to talk about?" Clasping my forearm behind my back, I smiled sweetly up at my brother, a bubbly cheerfulness inflating my voice that chimed in the air. It's mocking, and he knows it. Golden orbs narrow, his lips pursing with distaste as he observes me through his judgmental view. Finally, he releases a sigh, shaking his head as if I'm just an exasperating child that he has to reprimand constantly. I feel myself bristle.

"Alice, you know what I want to talk about." I clench my jaw as he stares down at me, his patronizing tone grating my nerves harshly, sending sparks of irritation prickling across my skin. I wave my hand for him to continue, taking a step forward as to not keep his condescending eye contact. I hear him sigh softly, the sound of the leaves crinkling from beneath his feet alert his following presence. "I fear we have lived under an ongoing misunderstanding."

"Hmm...?" Is all I say in response. I really don't need him to explicate, I already have an idea as to what misunderstanding he is hinting at. I turned swiftly to look at him, leaning back onto the bolder behind me, my fingertips trailing its rough surface. Edward cleared his throat, his steps halting suddenly as he swayed lightly in his place.

"Alice, I know we...have had our differences in the past." He looked uncomfortable. His words simply didn't like to cooperate with him, getting caught in his throat as he attempted to move them past his tongue. I almost scoffed, fighting back the urge to roll my eyes. "But I think it would be wise to...lay it all out in the open now. Get the air cleared so that we can continue and forgo these...misunderstandings."

"Please, enlighten me. What would these misunderstandings include?" I spit the words out, unable to keep the calm persona I had meant to mask upon my face. Now with my irritation obviously present, I feel myself loose the upper hand and Edward settle more comfortably into this situation.

"I believe you are under the false belief of having any right or claim over Bella." His pallid lips move quickly, letting glimpses of their pink underside show with every curl of his lips, forming over his venom laced words.

"Your right, I don't." There was a quiet lull. "But neither do you."

Edward smiles softly, staring down at me with something akin to sympathy. Before I can even stop it, I feel myself growl. The sound thunders in my chest before crawling up my throat and slithering darkly from my curled lips. Edward smirks, holding his hands up in fake surrender. I straighten, glaring from underneath my eyelashes as I attempt to hide my mild anxiety.

There is no way that Bella simply _accepted _him again. No, absolutely not. Though...she did seem fairly concerned about him when she came back to the house. Before she snuggled with me. Was she...was she thinking about Edward?

I remained stoic as the sharp pangs resonated within my heart again, pricking the soft tissue like swift needles. I can't help the sensation of being cheated on. Had she been thinking of Edward when she was with me? The very thought brought a cold metallic taste to my mouth, twisting a knife deeper into my gut.

I can't help the panic that settled sickly in the base of my stomach, brewing angrily as it wrecked havoc throughout the rest of me. Edward is just messing with me. He couldn't possibly have found a way to worm himself back into Bella's life, right? I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from demanding answers, my eyes widening as they lofted up to Edwards face once more.

Amused golden eyes stare back into me. I freeze. Edward snickers and moves on, swiftly moving past me as I stare blankly at the air he had moved from. I swear, I'm going to kill that boy.

And when I turned to him, my body managing to simmer down the twists and turns it had experience from my mild panic attack, it didn't seem all too far from the truth.

Edward's lips stretched into a large grin, his pearly white teeth shimmering in the musky morning light. His eyes were hooded from the shadows cast from tree limbs, but I could still see the smoldering amusement whirling in his golden eyes. I exhaled a low hiss, curling my lips back to bare my teeth at him.

"Bella hates you." My voice crackled in the dim light, becoming nothing more than an airy whisper. Edward shot me a pointed glare but remained cool and collected. He sighed, slumping his slender body against the nearest tree, a low _thump _roused from the trunk of the tree as his shoulder collided into it.

I felt a quiver splinter across my skin as the small thump resonated deeply in the base of the tree. My lips curled in response, unconsciously baring my teeth. Edward found this all too appealing, scoffing lightly as if my defense was nothing more intimidating than a small kitten hissing.

"Ali," I tried to shake that off. "I think we both know how this is going to end." He lifted his gaze to mine, his eyebrows quirking as if expecting me to suddenly submit and deflate. I steeled my gaze, raising my chin in a challenge to whatever words that would slither from between his lips. He shook his head, running a hand through the copper coils of his hair. "Alice, Bella isn't _gay_."

I scoffed, while inside my stomach preformed cartwheels. Edward waited for a moment, his amber eyes holding mine for a moment too long. He was waiting for me to rebut his statement and propose evidence otherwise. However, my mouth just opened and closed, wishing desperately for words to come to my aid and spike him with the same venom they always invest on me. Edward only smirked before dropping his gaze.

"I think its best if you let this...idea of yours, go." My fingers curled inwardly, pressing painfully into the smooth spread of my palm. The razor edges of my teeth continued its mantra of pain on my lower lip, tearing it apart. "She fell in love with _me_, Alice. It may have been a long time ago, but we made a connection, something that can't just be broken from any amount of time."

"I'm sure being left in the forest did wonders for your _kindling_love." I spat out, glaring up at Edward's reserved expression, who lofted only a soft sigh for his response. A surge of uncertainty whirled in my heart, seeping through the layers of skin and bone to poke through my expression. Edward caught my vulnerability in a moment, plucking it from my eyes to use it to his own advantage.

"I truly am sorry." He didn't look sorry. In fact, he looked like the cat that ate the canary. His dark amber eyes kindled like glowing embers, burning down at me while his sympathy grew farce the moment his lips twitched into a smug smirk. "Bella will always love you, just in a very..._different_way." His smile grew.

I clenched my jaw, the muscles protesting weakly as my teeth ground together. "Your right. It will be different, it will be better. And I'll show you what kind of love we have, what we will share." I stepped closer, my eyes flashing to his face. I wonder if I look insane, my hair tumbled from my hunt with the blood still present on my shimmering teeth and fingertips. "She _wil_l be mine."

I'm completely pulling this out of nowhere, my falsely placed confidence suddenly probing words to slither from between my bared teeth. And though I don't believe a word I'm saying, the look on Edward's face makes everything worth while.

I can see the struggle clearly in his features, his amber eyes attempted to burn a hole into my skin with his intensified glare, his anger seething out from him from haggard breaths. The hollows of his eyes darken, leaving it looking like prickling dark bruises, his lips snarling to bare shiny white teeth.

I smile sweetly, lifting a hand to pat his cheek. "I'm sure she will always love you, just in a very different way." I echo his words while taking several precarious steps away from him, just to be out of hitting distance. Edward's face darkens, ducking his head down so that shadows enveloped his pallid face, leaving only his vein-pronounced neck.

I turned to leave, the soles of my feet sinking slightly into the rich soil while I turn my entire body away from his presence. Because, quiet frankly, I'm really sick of seeing him.

However, before I pranced from his sight, I heard his soft velvety voice enter one more statement that made my stomach twist and turn anxiously.

"Be careful Alice, with what you say." His voice dissipated into a small whisper before disappearing entirely.

XxXx

Pursing my lips, I stared blankly at the door handle to the front entrance of my house. Its smooth ebony metal curves into an ill-shaped 'L' before curving inwardly at the end. Its simple mechanics lead me to believe that one would only _turn _the handle, thus opening the door and continuing the entrance of ones house.

However this seems oddly inaccurate as my fingers grasping the handle reached its limit of turning, and the door remained completely unmoving. I pouted, shuffling closer with my fingers still grasping helplessly at the handle. My forehead hit the door lightly as my eyebrows furrowed. Did Bella lock me out?

"Bella!" My voice managed a new high-pitched whine, reaching a sound I'm sure only dog's could hear. When no answering call was given, I stamped my foot, releasing another incoherent whine.

Looking down, I find the splintering wood of the doorframe, separating a small part of the door to the wall so peeking could be very possible. And although simply ripping the door open could also solve my predicament, I simply smiled widely before kneeling down to peer through the gap.

The room looks the same when I left it, the couch cushions holding folds and wrinkles where we had nestled into. However, no Bella was to be seen. Then a splash was heard from upstairs, the sound of water lapping back in forth in our bathtub filled the air, and fogged my mind.

Stepping back, I blinked. Feeling somewhat like a Peeping Tom (despite never seeing anything) I nervously moved from my position to a further distance. However I could still hear the quick movements of one Isabella Swan.

The sound of Bella stepping out of the water lifted to my ears, the water lapping around her legs as she steps carefully to the ground. A low hum drifted down to my ears, its tuneless melody followed the sound of towels dropping to the floor and swiftly wrapped around what I presume to be a very wet Bella. Ducking my head, I tried to ignore the sudden warmth that flooded into my lower abdomen.

I knocked quietly on the door, leaning against the broken frame hesitantly. Nervously, I play with my hair, rolling one stray feather of hair around my finger. "Um, Bella? Did you lock the door?"

There was a sudden gasp from upstairs and a follow of stumbling feet prancing down the staircase. Then a, "Hold on a minute!"

I bit back a smile, but the tips of my lips betrayed me anyway, quirking into a happy grin. There was a moment of rustling as Bella shifted through clothes in what I assumed to be Esme's room, making me grin just the more wider. I just so happened to have recently replaced all of my mother's clothing with the latest fashion. I could probably sneak in later and burn all the available sweats and Tee shirts ridden in our wardrobe, too. Just to make it official.

I couldn't help but clap happily, bouncing on my heels as I awaited what Bella would choose to wear. My smile grew as Bella let out a low growl of frustration, releasing a soft huffing breath, trudging back to the front door.

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" Bella's huffed, her voice becoming muffled from the door's convenience. I snorted, rolling my eyes as Bella worked with the lock on the door. What had most of my attention, however, was the surprising amount of warmth and butterflies that erupted in my stomach. Ducking my head, I realized how much I missed her, just in those short minutes by myself. The lock clicked abruptly before the door swung open, revealing a rather stunning Isabella Swan.

Leaning against the doorway, with a gentle hand still holding the door open was possibly the most beautiful woman in existence. Hanging loosely on her was a creamy white Polyester blouse, hanging so that it slipped past her shoulders, making the skin extremely accessible. A delicate silver necklace rested lightly against her collarbone with dark and light beads hanging off its silver chain, swinging with the intensity of her breathing. Her black shorts revealed the curve of her hipbones while creamy milky skin emitted a fresh aroma of flowers and green apples.

"I assumed borrowing Esme's clothes was okay?" Bella smiled uneasily, her eyes dipping down to meet mine. But my eyes are somewhere else entirely, taking a small detour to encompass the rest of Bella. It's incomprehensible, how one person could not have a single flaw. Even vampires have a single complexion that is undesirable; it makes them palatable to human kind, realistic even. And yet Bella breaches beyond the inhuman comprehension.

Following to the sound of tapping, my eyes flickered to Bella's nimble fingers, drumming anxiously on the door handle. Briefly, they pause as my eyes reach them, the clear curve of each nail shimmer with an undetectable coating of gleam, a milky half-moon glimmering at the very base of each nail before bouncing in a blur of white.

"Ali?" Her voice dipped down lightly into a breathy whisper, calling me gently as if any sound beyond that would startle me.

"Huh, uh...what?" Oh god, answer like that whenever she calls your name and your sure to have her. She seemed to have liked it though, crinkling her nose in that adorable fashion as her bright blue eyes sparkled in amusement. Nonetheless, I cleared my throat, trying to revive the alluring nature a vampire is _supposed _to have, something that has apparently died within me.

"Yes Bella?" I think I did better that time, smoothing my crackling voice back into its natural happy chirp.

"Is this okay?" My eyes flickered back down to her clothing choice. Despite the natural appeal she emits, the outfit in itself wasn't entirely fashionable. Its fluffy framework offset her natural curves, and despite its beautiful color it hardly complimented her skin color; having a transparent complexion in the first place. Had she worn a lighter hue of blue rather than white, and had it a tighter fit, it would have brought attention to her deserving eyes and concentrated more on her slim frame.

Nibbling on the bit of the tip of my thumb, my eyes wracked her frame again, arching an eyebrow in contemplation.

"Its...well, it looks ravishing on you. _But,_had you worn a tighter tank top of the same color and a light cardigan of blue or green, it could have complimented your slim waist and brought more attention to your eyes. Or just a smidge of dark eyeliner could have accented them by itself." I nodded, pursing my lips for a moment as I narrowed my eyes at her necklace. "And sweetie, that necklace is beautiful, but with that shirt, it needs to dip lower and rest just about here." I reached over, tapping with my index finger the clothing beneath her collarbone.

_Danger! _My muscles went under arrest, freezing up entirely as my fingertips brushed the velvety material. My eyes widened as a warmer hand encompassed my fingers, shuffling so that they could entwine warmly together, swinging lowly between our bodies. I peered beneath my eyelashes at Bella before shying away. Bella's grin had taken the size of her entire face, her teeth sparkling brightly in the exposure of the dim sunlight as her bright eyes simmered down to a smoldering gaze.

"Ali, I meant if it was okay that I was wearing Esme's clothing." She gave me an adoring smile, officially reducing me to a bubbling child, swaying our hands happily between us while I bounced on my heels energetically. It was almost embarrassing, how a simple smile could send so much raw energy through me, electrifying my entire body into a crackling hum.

I gave her a sheepish grin, turning my body to the side while I gazed up at her. "I knew that." Alice knows everything after all. With this new bubbling happiness burning in my chest, I giggled, feeling a bit light headed with the tingles erupting throughout my body. "Come on, I'll make you waffles!"

Shooting into the house, Bella yelped as I yanked her to the kitchen before I placed her onto a stool, her head still spinning from the sudden movements. Giggling lightly, I skipped to the cupboards aligning in rows beneath the counter.

A noisy clutter arose as I blurred around the kitchen, a mantra of obscure movements such as opening the refrigerator, slamming cupboards, placing bowls and cutting boards out, and finally getting the small plastic container with whatever the humans tend to eat inside them.

I bit my lip in contemplation, wondering how to continue the odd order in preparing food. It's been so long since I was able to make human food. Esme would obviously be the one to take charge in this situation, having been a mother loosing all her children at once, there was never enough activities to do to keep her mind in a constant state of business, so it was only natural for her to pretend to have those children. Going grocery shopping, filtering through the store, occasionally chatting with the sweet cashier and then spending her evening creating extravagant meals that no one ate.

Sighing, I looked down, shaking the thoughts of the past far away from my mind.

2 cups sifted flour

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 eggs, separated

1 1/2 cups milk

5 tablespoons melted shortening

My eyes widened. Are they speaking a different language? What..._what_ is this_?_My jaw unlatched, hanging loosely from my mouth as my eyes scanned the small index card where the ingredients were scrawled neatly in its creamy exterior. Crinkling my nose, I bit my bottom lip as my eyes gazed at the numerous ingredients scattered across the granite counter.

Cautiously, I lifted the lid to the egg container, my fingertips hovering over the numerous shiny shells in hesitation before plucking one from its resting place. Plopping it into the bowl, I shrieked when it collided loudly with the bottom, the white entrails of this odd specimen seeping from its shell's division.

Hiding from behind a very amused Bella, I peered over her shoulder. "Is it dead?"

An odd sound emerged from Bella's throat, coming out garbled as a laugh and a purr bubbled from her lips, intertwined. It only increased when I pouted, somehow the were cat found a way to read my facial expressions without even turning to glance at my face.

"Shut up!" I meant for it to sound stern, but it ended up just sounding whiny, escalating several octaves higher than the usual apprehended sound. Bella dipped her head up, laughing heartily as the sound bellowed from her diaphragm and simmered in the air with its natural warmth. "_Bella!_" Another whine, however it had deflated severely from the jocund sensation that percolated into my chest and swam into my stomach.

Swatting my hands at her shoulder, I stepped away, scrambling for my dignity once again. Tilting my chin up high, I walked purposefully to the counter, plucking the white skinned shells from this white and yellow goo, wiping my fingers clean of its mess. "Well, if were not going to be adults about this, I suppose I will just make Sean some waffles."

And by some call of nature, or really, just my bad luck, the boy popped his head in suddenly from the open doorway, a rambunctious grin spreading on his lips. Its not that I didn't like the boy, in fact, I thought he had a cute and awkward charm, but his action had caused a major surprise on my part. Thus more jumping and screeching from the fortunetelling vampire.

"Damn it Sean!" And this is where I loose major points for snapping at Bella's werewolf, the brunette sending me a pointed glare which silenced me instantly. However, the young werewolf seemed entirely unaffected, bounding over to the kitchen to hover over the preparations of what could be waffles.

"You're making waffles?" I sigh, ducking my head to stare at the single egg staring up at me from the bowl. Drumming my fingers, I peered up at Sean's face, a pink flush warming his sun-kissed skin, raven locks of hair darting in front of his smoldering hazel eyes and at last, his bright and happy grin pulling at his pink lips. He really was a sweetheart.

"Well, I was, or trying to. Maybe...if I stop jumping at every sound and movement that just so happens to occur around me." Sean nodded sagely, slumping onto a stool before both his elbows propped onto the counter to support his heavy head. Dark locks of hair drifted casually from his head, bouncing over his large hazel eyes before being blown away by a single huff of breath.

Bella on the other hand, snapped to attention. Sapphire eyes rose to meet mine, flickering for only a moment before disconnecting any contact. In that splitting second however, she passed a silent wonderment to me, reviving her concern from my disconcerting actions nearly an hour prior.

I sighed, knowing that this subject will be breached again. Only, I won't have answers for her. Or at least one that will make sense.

Forcing my attention to the food I was supposed to be making, I pursed my lips. If only Esme and Jasper would come back from their hunting trip. Carlisle would even be a better choice than me, having watched his wife after the many years that had passed when Bella left.

Rosalie and Emmett can stay where they are. First, I don't need to see what they do in their time together again, one time was enough for a life time. Second, Emmett is banned from the kitchen, having caught the refrigerator on fire. One might ask, how did he achieve this? I don't think _he _even knows.

I stiffened when a sudden warmth enveloped me, a weight pressing lightly against my shoulder as the warm presence intensified. Glancing from the corner of my eye, I watched as Bella peered down at the ingredients with her head resting on my shoulder and her front pressed deliciously against my back. Then dark sapphire eyes flickered to me and I immediately snapped my head away, staring purposefully at the nonsense written on the small card.

I think I caught Bella smiling at me, but before I could delve into deeper thought, the were cat had already shot me into an onslaught of confusing instructions.

**A/N: Sorry for such the long wait. Good thing is however, is that I have the next chapter written. :D **


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

**A/M: HELLO AGAIN. This PART TWO of Chapter 12. :D**

**STILL ALICE...**

"I have a surprise." I sung, clasping my hands over Bella's eyes. Bella's eyelashes fluttered against my fingertips sending that ever so often tangled flutter deep in my gut, the ones that feel like immeasurable wings flapping and beating with a short staccato tempo, deep deep in my stomach.

"Ali," I could feel Bella's cheeks lift as her smile curled over her teeth, but I hardly regarded this small adorable antic, my thoughts tunneling my new apparent nickname. That short clipped myriad of beating wings erupted again in my stomach, loosing my breath altogether. "You do know I helped make breakfast. I probably already know whatever surprise you have for me."

I only hummed in response, directing her through the dimly lit kitchen to plop her down on a stool. True, my plan is spoiled by this fact, but that doesn't stop me from continuing despite its minor flaws.

Still covering Bella's eyes, I directed my eyes to Sean, sending him a purposeful glare. The boy raised an eyebrow, his shock of black hair trickling down his forehead in curtains as he narrowed his hazel eyes in confusion. Sighing in frustration, I jerked my head quickly to the side, accenting what I wanted from him through whatever telepathy rays that hopefully were passing between our gazes.

A realization dawned on his features as he bounded over to me, taking my place and quickly covering Bella's eyes. Bella's spine immediately stiffened, snapping ramrod straight beneath her skin from the sudden transfer of hands, releasing a low growl from behind her curled lips.

"Alice?" Her voice came out in a low growl, her upper lip curling over shiny bared teeth. Sean simply chuckled, resting his chin on Bella's tousled chocolate hair, blatantly ignoring the low vibrations bubbling in Bella's chest. In her lap, nimble fingers twiddled and weaved with an uneasy energy, fiddling uncomfortably with the sudden swift change of direction. The soft pad of her thumb constructed numerous ellipses upon her palm, circling again and again as if to soothe the prickling skin from rising into goose flesh.

It took me a moment of staring for me to finally regain the direction of my previous thoughts, veering me from my speculation of Bella's odd reaction to resume in my tasks. Swiveling away from the stool, I raised on my tiptoes to grasp a hold of the tip of the plate, adjusted just out of my reach on the counter. Huffing loudly, I leaned over until my entire torso was against the counter with my toes pointing to the ground I could no longer reach.

Finally, the plate was breached and was retrieved, sitting smug as a button on the counter top. In my honest opinion, the food looked beyond inedible. The thing was drowning in a disgustingly sweet white slush with several round chocolates poking out of it, the fruits sinking into a white abyss. To be honest, had I not made the waffles myself, I wouldn't be entirely certain that the cooked batter was still underneath all of those layers.

Shrugging, I resumed, leaning down to sprinkle more of the thin slivers of chocolate and strawberry slices. The thin bottle of the strawberry preserves proved to be helpful, circling the entire plate with a sweet tart that coincidentally formed a heart when squirted out. Well...if you look at that. Smiling happily to myself, I peered up from my eyelashes to glance at Bella.

I felt my smile fall from my face while sharp pangs from within my heart pulverized my insides. Sean's large fingers splayed over her eyes, but it wasn't enough to cover the dark disturbance that had enveloped the usually sweet and happy girl. It carved in folds along her forehead and tightened the skin in her face, as if it wasn't her own. Her nimble spindly fingers had moved on to better things, lying curled onto the counter like sharp claws, retracted and sharp as they carved onto the counter top.

To say I was frozen was beyond an understatement, it was as if ice had replaced all the flowing venom in my veins, seizing my body from the roots of my teeth to the souls of my feet. It was a wonderment, to see Bella so frighteningly different, with the shadow of her beast being so present behind the thin layers of human skin. It wasn't funny or a joke any more, Sean's jesting expression had slipped into a solemn acknowledgment as his fingers twitched with a detached uncertainty.

Sean lifted one shoulder into a half shrug, his eyes narrowed uncertainty at Bella before rising to meet me. The boy grinned sheepishly, gaining only more confusion on my part. I only started to grasp what he was thinking just seconds before he slipped his hands away, jerking them back as if he was a matador, pulling away that blaring red cape.

With the cover taken away, Bella's eyes whirled dangerously, flickering up from beneath dark eyelashes, pertaining a certain disconcerting turbulence, to glance at me. Her eyes simmered down to an almost grayish light as the dark slits of her pupils jaunted wildly to an obscure size, almost filling her entire eye. Bella seemed to be climbing out of her own mental window to give the beast complete and total command.

I was grasped with a myriad amount of uncertainty, enveloping around me like a noose, tightening ever so tighter, so much that my muscles and spine straightened from the exertion, becoming nothing but stone from its indecision in any movement. Those dark sinister eyes kept eye contact; a shadow of unbidden darkness seemed to creep over her, enveloping her in a mass of unsettling animosity. And yet I remained still, frozen beyond just fear, pulling up those tangled and twisted feelings that had swarmed me in the remnants of my vision.

The beast inside growled, waiting. As impatient as ever.

And when a flicker of movement deemed in her eyes, the beast inside lurched against my chest, as if wishing to meet her half way. And I was beyond stopping this, paralyzed and dizzy, I merely coasted in the misty state I was left in.

I was so far away in fact, that it took me several seconds to realize the sudden release in my paralysis, my muscles suddenly relaxing while the tightly woven noose unraveled its strangling hold. Sean winced, his shock of black hair flopped against his cheeks and the nape of his neck from the sudden jostling movement he expelled. Rubbing his elbow, the boy tried to soothe the aching bone, glaring at the offender.

Bella reeled in place, her pupils receding to a slender slits as the grayish pallor that had whirled in her eyes illuminated again with a brighter blue, yanking the beast back into its cage. The girl endured a numerous amount of shudders and shivers, shaking her slender shoulders until it trembled in her lower back.

Sean and I froze in anticipation as the tremors took their course, raging over her like waves, crashing and whirling around her, swelling to a rise before receding back into that wild ocean it came from. The waffles sunk in on itself, the gloppy whip cream streaming into some kind of inedible liquid as the sweet tart drawn on heart stretched into an indistinguishable shape.

I sighed, indulging in a sad little pout directed at my failed creation. Why is it that something _always _happens to ruin the romantic plots in story lines? I mean...not mine, not usually, since romance has seriously been decreasing for me since...forever. But my first attempt at romance! All destroyed by a simple emotional imbalance in the brain. Damn you Bella, for ruining my attempt at wooing you.

A soft sigh snapped my attention out from my inner mourning and directed me to my sad little Bella. Her fingers were tenderly working in soothing circles upon her forehead while heavy shaking breaths tumbled from her lips. Though her eyes had closed in the movement of soothing, there was still a distinguishable amount of sadness that seemed to illuminate even through her heavy eyelids.

Sean, worry etched in his boyish face, ventured forward. A warm and gentle hand rose to grasp Bella's arm, but the gesture was unwelcome and tossed aside with an angry hiss from Bella. She caressed a rough growl from between her lips and teeth, shooting it out like a strung arrow, out and into the tension-ridden silence.

The growl ended any means of communications Sean and I could think of, our hands having fallen limp and tongues suddenly growing heavy. An awkward tension sidled along with our silence, growing fat and heavy from the inarticulate motion's of our failed diplomatic skills.

Then Sean finally freed us all, shrugging like he was just rolling the situation off his back and sat down on a stool. Both Bella and I turned to watch him as he reached over and slid the plate of waffles across the counter until it sat, heavy and in front of him.

I blinked. He couldn't possibly just eat the waffles I had made for Bella, _right _in front of me. He couldn't be that obscenely oblivious and insensitive to my feeling-

The waffles were already gone by that point of time.

"Sean! First, stop eating like we haven't ever fed you before. You may be a werewolf but that doesn't keep you from acting like a normal human being in _some _point of time." I crinkled my nose as Sean just blinked with incomprehension, his hand already raised to stack his plate high with baked goods once more. "Second, that plate was for _Bella_." Chocolate and whip cream dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Hazel eyes simply blinked.

I sighed; it was like arguing with a stack of bricks. Sean gulped, a leering bulge slipped down his throat as the skin tightened from the enormity of the bite. With a rough cough and a slap on the chest, the boy breathed again. Just barely though, because before he could even inhale, another waffle was being pushed into the back of his throat.

I just hissed in response, finding the whole cumbersome sight entirely grotesque. No wonder I'm gay. I couldn't kiss that mouth. Despite Sean's pretty pink lips, where he puts them is entirely unknown, and that fact is daunting in itself. I rolled my eyes, the motion allowing a small picture of Bella to flicker in my eyesight.

The girl was resting her head into her palm, a small smile on her lips. It was a tight smile, one that seemed too strained, too forced to be truthful. She kept her gaze at the hungry wild boy devouring any and every food in sight, watching silently as he chewed happily on a slice of bacon. I truthfully can't remember making bacon. But whatever, Sean's got it and I rather not think where or _when_he actually gotthe bacon.

I could see it, that shallow and weak withdraw to the inside of her own shell. Her walls acted as elastic bands, stretching over and around her, tying her into a reserved and quiet world. I've seen it before, often in fact.

Saw it when Edward laughed at her Romeo when they were watching the black and white characters flicker across the screen. It was harmless to him, because it was simply a jest, but to Bella, it was a dig in her own personality. I saw it when Rosalie declared her refusal to dress in Bella's clothing to protect her from James. Always whenever Edward snarled loudly at her, the often-recurring scene was him quickly taking a knife from her fingers as if she were a child who didn't understand the danger of a sharp edge.

Actually, it was often Edward and Rosalie that caused the transformation, the only difference between them however, was that one had a change of heart.

And now she was falling back again, into that natural defense that, truthfully, takes an eternity to pull her out. Oh my sweet and shy Bella. What am I going to do with you? Teetering forward, I carefully slid my fingers into her hand, enveloping them into a warm, but cautious embrace.

Dark sapphire eyes flickered to me while a shy blush crept across her prominent cheekbones and painted the nape of her neck. Bella's smile loosened the knots of her muscles relaxing into a less strained position to release her gnarled and sneering smile.

Bella nibbled on her lower lip, working her jaw quietly from the nerves that must have been shaking and withering inside of her. Looking up from her eyelashes, she caught me staring at her, ducking her head as if that would shade me of my view of her. It was cute enough to make my lips quirk upwards. Cute little Bella.

The tip of my fingernail tapped on her palm, waiting for her to get the hint that I wanted to regain her eye contact. Bella eventually lifted her gaze, a mixture of confusion and that dark disturbance that prickled just behind her eyes remained, trying to smile while she was falling apart inside.

I hoped to convey everything that I was feeling in that one moment, in my eyes, screaming everything that's been pent up inside without actually moving my lips.

_I understand, I'm here for you, I love you. _

I don't think Bella understood, because she cocked her head to the side in that adoring manner, the way that showed that she was only grasping the very tail end of what I was saying. But apparently she understood my attempt well enough, delivering me one of her dazzling soft smiles, one that sent pangs to pulverize my heart with its constant convulsions.

In that moment I didn't care that she couldn't read my telepathic eye contact. We will just have to work on that later. Smiling, I squeezed her hand as she returned my smile. Oh Bella, you have no idea what you just got yourself into. If the many..._many _romantic comedies I have watched over the years taught me anything, it's the gold in eye-to-eye telepathy. I rubbed the soft pad of my thumb over the back of Bella's hand again, sealing her future.

"Bmcru Efnial cmifing bavek?"

"In English Sean." I waited, counting to three as the sounds of choking and snorting broke through the air. Bella quirked an eyebrow but didn't regard Sean in any other way, keeping eye contact with me.

"When are the others coming back?" Sean rasped gasping for air after his words left his lips, inhaling another breath/waffle into his mouth. The two have just become intertwined by now.

Oh, wait. That's actually a good question. Puckering my brow, I tried to calculate how much time has passed since their abrupt departure. However, all I could retrieve in the folds of my mind was the foggy swirling thoughts that occurred during the morning with Bella curled around me while everything else became an indistinguishable blur. Sighing, I shook my head, as if that would relieve me of the deep-rooted lust-filled thoughts that seem to have complete control over my mind. My mind is getting just about as dirty as Emmett's.

"I honestly don't know. Well...I mean, Edward is probably hunting again and Carlisle has to stay with him. Emmett and Rosalie are sexing each other up for probably another two and a half hours." Insert Bella's blush. "And Esme and Jasper are...

"Here." Esme crooned from the doorway, a wide dazzling smile taking up half her face. Jasper stepped cautiously through the door, his eyes more concentrated on the dwelling destruction of the doorframe, his fingers trailing the splintered wood as Esme moved past him. Oh yeah...that happened.

My jaw should just stay down on the floor, because it's just going to keep falling apparently. The call of nature is no longer apparent, it _must _be me. How else can people transpire suddenly from air, rather out of nowhere if you ask me, simply because I called their name? That or it's a massive conspiracy, everyone that I know by name are secretly hiding around me, just waiting until I announce their name.

I glared at Jasper, Esme and Sean. My three suspects. The interrogation will have to-

"Bella, darling, why aren't you eating?" Esme was already by her side, the smile vanishing from her features as her eyes, the color of melted butter, surveyed her daughter skeptically. Not in that way most mothers would judge their children, it was more like two searing hawk eyes that seem to tear through skin and bones to physically check if everything was 'okay'. One of Esme's palms cupped Bella's cheek, the other prickling against the smooth and warm surface of her forehead.

I don't have to be a mind reader to read the thoughts ticking off in Esme's head. She went through her own personal mantra every time something popped up as somewhat unusual with Bella. We all regret the day we didn't burn the _Raising Teenage Daughters For Dummies_book.

Bella skips a meal? She's suddenly anorexic and must suffer through a homemade buffet from Esme until she is groaning in from stomach pains. Has a scratch on her arm? She's cutting herself, and Esme must remove all sharp things from Bella's house and follow her every move.

I felt Bella's grip tighten, her hands squeezing my fingers as she looked into those unwavering all-knowing eyes of Esme. I merely patted her hand, sympathizing with the poor girl.

Bella gestured weakly to Sean, who was, gracefully, inhaling another waffle. Now it was my time to stiffen, freezing as Esme turned slowly, a sweet smile on her rosy lips, but her pale skin only grew paler. Butterscotch eyes swirled to smoldering amber, melting intently with the rich whirl of intensity that only Esme could pull up out of nowhere and still have even the worst of men halt in their tracks. I suppose it's a mother thing.

Sean seemed to have a mild seizure, his skin crawling with an urgent desire to get away as his lips became a dusky white pallor, halting in his movements to scarf down my elegantly cooked food. I would be boasting right now, rubbing it in his face if I wasn't frozen in place.

Sean lifted his gaze to stare fearfully at Bella and I but both of us (simultaneously) avoided eye contact. I could tell that Bella felt bad, as did I. But we both had an unspoken agreement that it is better that Sean remains to be the one in trouble. Rather than us. Sure, we regret it, but there is nothing we can do now, its _all_in the past.

"Sean, do you mind telling me why you're eating like a wild animal? Or maybe why Bella _isn't_?" Whistling lowly, Bella and I slowly extracted ourselves from the situation. I was momentarily distracted by the lurch in my dead heart when Bella shuffled quietly, tangling our fingers together. Her perfect round fingernails glimmered as our entangled hands swung lowly between our bodies, making our sneaky escape.

"Bella dared me too!" Damn you Sean. Bella yelped in indignation, turning her large blue eyes to stare disbelievingly at Sean. But he wasn't finished. Esme had a wavering expression, skeptically wondering if Sean was telling the truth, so the boy finished with a flourishing end. "She didn't want to eat anything anyway, she said so." I halted, my foot hovering in the air as Bella turned and threw my inner balance off again.

"Bella is this true?" Bella opened her mouth to rebuke what Sean had foolishly stated, but Esme already had her mind set and any words that would enter would just be reflected. "First off, Bella you know better, Sean could have choked. Second, _Bella_! Do I have to tell you the dangers of missing a meal? _Especially _for someone with your metabolism, it isn't healthy. Oh my god, are you anorexic?"

Bella's jaw flapped soundlessly as Esme fumbled around for something in the living room. Dispersing silently, Esme reappeared with a thin movie case, its cover flashing with scripted letters: _An Anorexic Tale: The Brief Life of Catherine_

"We will watch it Bella!"

"I'll go hunting or something!" Esme remained firm in her stance, shaking the thin cassette in her hand as if it were something threatening. I suppose in Bella's case, it was. She can't go through one of Esme's overprotective informative movies again. It was painful enough when Esme was under the misunderstanding that Bella was depressed. Only to find out it was just a certain unfortunate time of the month. Scarring _everyone_.

Bella tugged on my hand, sending a glare over her shoulder at Sean, who grinned sheepishly. Apparently, he wasn't too affected, because when Esme sighed, placing the movie gently on the counter top, Sean leaned over to survey the darkly colored cover.

"I'll watch the movie, Esme." Esme turned to stare blankly at Sean. The boy grinned up at the vampire mother, his natural callow soul lifting up as he swung his legs back and forth with a childish twinkle in his eyes. Esme snorted, patting his darkly crowned head, taking the time to brush the hair out from his eyes.

"Oh sweet heart, I don't need to worry about _your_lack of appetite." I giggled lightly as we walked out the door, melting with Bella's as we hopped down the steps. Taking a single glance at the sky, I dismissed its dismal gray state, its wispy mist swirling into darker shades, sowed together into mismatched patches.

Bella swung our hands together, a small smile lighting up her face as she cast a single glance down at our entwined fingers. It was a kind of glance that released a jolt of electricity through my stomach, sending it crawling desperately up my spine. I held onto my breath, keeping it locked inside my dysfunctional lungs as Bella gracefully lingered on the edges of her mental fence. She could either let go, having the reason of our hand holding no longer present. Or, she could acknowledge this simple fact without undergoing any change, keeping our hands locked.

I waited.

Bella swung our hands again, tightening our hold as we strolled into the forest, hands intact. And, definitely not for the first time, my heart soared with an inexplicable amount of joy, my stomach filling again with the short clip myriad of short beating wings, sparking a staccato and sharp tempo from each imaginary feathered wing. I released my shaky breath, forming a smile that seemed just as shaky.

We moved slowly through the forest in comfortable silence, letting the unacknowledged electricity thrum between us in its rhythmical hum. Occasionally I would dip in as well, releasing a soft hum to mimic the one that was playing softly in my mind, skin, heart, everywhere really. The soft pitter-patter of notes was left indescribable by simple common words.

Whenever I verbalized the sweet lullaby roaming in the confinements of my mind, Bella seemed to be tugged along as well, pulled into the music of it all. And so we moved along the forest, her hand guiding me so that I could hop along the moss toppled trunks or spurt randomly into a sprint, laughing or humming with our hands as the single thread that kept us together.

It was sweet, almost written in the foggy state of a dream. And yet, all broken with the next words that toppled from Bella's lips. She was smiling happily at me before, swirling me around in a circle until I came to an abrupt stop in front of her, watching as her eyes suddenly become cryptic and swirling with wonder.

"You know, for all the vampire's I have met..." I raised my eyebrow, quirking my lips into another happy smile.

"As in the seven?" Bella blinked, lowering her gaze to stare blankly at me. "I hadn't realized you were in the company of so many vampires." Her eyes smoldered momentarily as the very tips of her lips lifted into a small smile. But then she leaned forward, covering my mouth with the warm softness of her palm. My breaths immediately thinned, transpiring into weak puffs of air. Just a simple touch and I can feel a small coil raveling in my stomach as my eyes darkened.

"Shh, just accept my popularity." Bella's smile stretched wildly, before leaning over to affectionately brush my forehead with hers as the breath from her light chuckle brushed across my cheek. Well, it wasn't _these _words obviously. No, these made my breath came up short, hitching into a higher octave before coming out thick and heavy. "You're always so graceful." The soft pad of her thumb trailed and soothed over the hollow of my cheek.

And so my eyes, _obviously_, diverted to those plump pink lips, the ones that resembled sweet lovely rose petals. I hope she knows what she's doing to me. Torture. That's what this is.

"I mean, it just makes me wonder about earlier." And though the past already happened, I froze and shuffled through the previous events to make absolutely certain that I hadn't accidentally spilled all of my feelings into a jumbled rant of words. Bella dipped her head, making sure that her deep dark sapphire eyes were always connected with mine, making sure they didn't go astray.

I felt my eyes flicker to the corner of my sight, blots of darkness from the edges of my eyelids momentarily spotting my eyesight, as I tried to flicker through my memories. I don't _think _I declared my obsessive love towards her, or made some visual show of it.

"Mhhmmf..." Oh right, her hand was right there. Bella ducked her head momentarily as a blush burned underneath the skin of her cheeks, whispering an embarrassed apology before removing her hand over my mouth. Hopefully she didn't catch me jerking forward to try to keep the contact.

Panting softly (though entirely unnecessarily) I took a step back to break the close contact we had before. I eyed her warily. "What do you mean about earlier?"

Bella smiled kindly at me, but I caught her eyes racking the distance that I had lengthened

"Well..." Bella drawled carefully, taking a soft step forward. "You fell off the couch" Bella tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lifting her eyes to stare deeply into me. "Then you stumbled into me" The corners of her lips quirked into a dark and understanding smile. "Then you ran out of the door, breaking the door frame."

I don't recall ever taking part in this action, but at some point during Bella's speech, my head had ducked to stare blankly at the ground. In fact, I hadn't registered this motion at all until through my peripherals, clear curved toenails coasted softly against the dirt.

Biting my lip, I counted the light shade of white that formed half-moons on each base of Bella's nail. When this process had been repeated an innumerable amount of times, my eyes flickered to number the nervous motion of Bella's pinky toe curling in on itself, before recoiling. This particular stirring of motion created a small indent along the dirt. All of these numberings piled up into neat pyramids, coiling in the folds of my brain, finding new demonstrations to distract me from looking up into Bella's eyes.

However Bella's patience seemed to have worn thin. "Ali?"

I kept my eyes soulfully on the trees, ignoring her existence entirely. What was I supposed to do? Explain that I was clumsy because of what she does to me? That I can't walk straight (or think for that matter) whenever I'm next to her or that in my vision she ripped my throat apart, and I wanted it? I may have even tried to rip her throat out. Yes, lets all sit down to have _that _little chitchat, discuss it over tea and biscuits.

There was a soft sigh before it was replaced with the sounds of bare feet brushing through the fallen leaves and soil.

"You know, I wouldn't judge you." Bella's hand lifted, presumably to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "No matter what you have to say." I heard the small flutter of Bella's heart, calling out like a soft sparrow's song. "Who knows, maybe I have a little something to return it with."

I snapped my head up, whipping my gaze to meet Bella's. There was a shy smile playing timidly on her lips as her dark eyes flickered up from the ground to briefly meet mine. A blush darkened her cheeks.

Does she? _Could _she? No, of course not, it's all in my head.

_But what if it isn't?_

No, that's ridiculous. She was _in love _with my _brother. _He isn't exactly a gateway to lesbianism.

_He left her in the middle of the forest. _

Unfortunately, trees do not try to convince stranded girls to join the other team.

_She doesn't love him anymore._

No, but she _could. _And that's where I will always fall short (figuratively and literally) because despite my brother's deficiencies, he will always be a boy, and that is where I come to a disadvantage. It's all in my head.

_But what if it isn't..._

My stomach constricted. Gnarled knots started to bunch together into an unpleasant bound, like hell-bound snakes constricting across my chest, restricting my breath.

"Ali?" Her voice was sweet and soft, as if any sound louder would startle me. Honestly, I wonder if it would have. A hand coaxed me to come closer, its warm skin emitting an invitation to come closer. I glanced at her uplifted palm, the lines and curves all familiar, and yet I stared at it as if it was a strangers.

I lifted my head to gaze at Bella, her dark understanding eyes bore right back at me, a warm smile already ghosting upon her lips. She tentatively stepped closer, her caution clear through the hesitation with each movement. In her eyes, I probably resembled a cornered frightened animal, her mind questioning whether I would bite or whimper. With the recent events, I'm not entirely sure either.

With another step closer, I felt a rippling snap, plunging deep inside of me as it shook and broke all the seams that seemed to keep me together. Shakily I stumbled backward, racking a hand through my hair as sweet sapphire eyes bore into me, seeing right through all of my granite skin and defenses I was told a vampire was sure to have.

"Well what about you! Not an hour ago, you were acting entirely different. Like an _animal_." I hissed, keeping my voice rough and sharp, delivering the blow with as much venom my voice could exert. But in the end, I was the only one to wince. Bella just stared at me with those understanding dark eyes, a small smile tugging on her lips and her damn soft inviting hand still uncurled for me to take.

"I was caught off guard. My beast feels comfortable with you and so it had no qualms with you covering my sight. But when you switched abruptly without warning, it felt vulnerable and I lost control." My insides stopped turning and twisting, momentarily relaxing with her voice, her words seeping into me and untangling the messy knots I had made.

"Your beast feels comfortable with me?" My voice was so soft, I wondered if I looked as much as a child as I sounded. Apparently I did, because Bella smiled again, that sweet encouraging smile that a mother would give as a reward for a child, asking me burrow into her arms and just forget about everything else. She took another step, her uplifted hand rising to gently cup my cheek.

I hardly registered my response, only feeling the light breeze that brushed against my skin as I rushed forward, leaning desperately into her palm, and nuzzling the given hand as the warmth seeped into my cold granite skin.

"Yeah, it really does. It actually likes you quiet a lot." I sniffled, rubbing my eyes despite the lack of tears. I lifted my head slowly, my eyes flickering shyly to Bella's. Her sapphire eyes seemed to be filled to the very brim with emotion, blurring together with the tears that had swelled there. The tips of her lips quirked upward, melting into that heartbroken but always so sweet smile.

"Then why did it bite me?" I mumbled this merely to myself, reviewing the vision in my head for any signs or actions that had lead Bella to bite. The warm hand that soothed and smoothed my cheek stiffened, the base of her fingernails scratching inadvertently at the hollow of my cheek. Her fingers curled in response, the light scratching become sharper and more pronounced, moving into a quick swipe across my skin as she removed her hand.

"What did you say?" Her voice tumbled from her lips, becoming just a wisp of breath as her voice broke down and crumbled. Her shaky breaths wove inbetween each verbalized word, disconnecting the basic structure so that each word wobbled into an indistinguishable blur. Meanwhile, the realization of what I had just said seemed to have dawned on me, revealing my idiocy in the most convenient of times.

"Nothing." I chirped lightly, taking a cautious step backwards. Honestly, I never was the one to be able to read expressions and tell what would happen next. That was Jasper's little inkling, I, on the other hand, relied heavily on the visions that would give hints to the actions they were to soon follow. Unfortunately, Bella has come all but predictable to me.

"No Alice, you said something." She almost growled this at me, tears swelling in her eyes, washing out all the love and warmth they had held before. My heart quivered, prickling with sharp needles that poked and prodded the soft dead muscle.

"Bella, I..." I didn't even realize I was walking backwards until a gnarled root scratched against my bare heel, catching my foot in quiet a predicament as my body swayed madly in attempts to stabilize itself. However, before my body made impact with the cobbled grass and gnarled roots, a clawed hand wrapped carefully around my forearm, keeping me half-suspended in air.

A part of me wished to have fallen.

Because there in front of me was a stiff unmoving Bella with deluded blue eyes, swirling into a clouded gray. She worked her jaw quietly as she neither helped me regain footing, nor did she let me fall. I was caught right in the middle, caught in a figurative steel trap.

Now, naturally, I would have done anything to try to alleviate Bella's qualms. However, seeing as the problem was me, I am rather blank as to what I can do to help. Other than spill all of the beans and make her feel even worse.

"I don't know what to tell you." Honestly, I ran through the lies that could have gotten me out of this mess, but I don't think Bella would have fallen for it all just being a dream. Bella sighed, the breath swelling from the sharp fangs that poked out from behind the pink-lipped curtain.

"Please, just the truth." I pouted. But that's the hardest part. Though, I suppose, if it was easy to say, it wouldn't be true. I wiggled in my suspended position, gripping Bella's forearm to pull myself into a more comfortable stance, one that preferably had both my feet on the ground. Bella relented, wrapping her slender arms around my waist, pulling me up. Happy with the assistance, I nuzzled Bella's shoulder happily, firmly wrapping my own arms around her waist.

We melded together, our bodies moving in a slow pace to firmly lock together, clicking together like two puzzle pieces. My fingernails found themselves tangling in the long flow of hair that cascaded Bella's back, and I briefly praised her inability to cut hair, for if she had cut it any shorter, I doubt I could touch it.

I found myself purring, nuzzling into the warm arms of Bella as she gently rubbed my back, the moment temporarily ridden form tension that presumably will probably break the thin plastic surface of our peaceful bubble.

"Alice." Bella's voice was soft, but it conveyed a stern warning, like a mother scolding the child who snuck into the cookie jar. I sighed, releasing Bella as our peaceful bubble broke in on itself, allowing the dark tension that had been swirling around it to seep into the gaping hole Bella provided.

"It was in my vision. We were on the couch together like before, but Edward walked in, threatened me in a way that had me a little freaked out. So I woke you up, inadvertently may I add, and you attacked him." Bella sighed, racking a hand through her hair as tension carved deep folds upon her forehead, tightening her lips into pursed strained lines. When I remained silent, Bella glanced nervously at me, anticipating the words that would soon follow. Again, I hesitated.

"_Alice._" Again with the stern warning, her authoritative mothering voice bounding past her lips as she silently encouraged me to continue, grasping the very tips of my fingers. My heart quivered, the pins and needles continuing their playful torturous poking and prodding.

"When I tried to stop you, you turned around and bit me." Bella's expression pinched, her eyes screwing shut in the force of her discomfort as shallow tremors shook her shoulders and fell down to her back. I bit my lip, wondering if I should continue with what I had left. In a rush, I released it _all_. "But it wasn't a snap decision. What confused me was the amount of time that passed. You turned to stare at me and for a while, that's all you did. It almost felt sentimental and sweet, and then," I faulted. "Then, you kind of bit me."

Bella remained silent, the forest falling into a dismal silence except for the quiet sound of her jaw clicking back in forth from the force of her grinding teeth. My stomach knotted tightly, sinking with what seemed to be an anchor, sinking it to the bottom of my self-rooting rancor.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I-" Before I could even register what happened, my back felt the rough feel of bark poking through my shirt and gently grazing my back. A firm hand had covered my mouth, gripping tightly around my jaw as sharp fingernails dug into the small divot of bone that lead to my ear.

"Don't you _da_re say sorry." Bella trembled again, tears swelling in her eyes as it trickled down her grief-stricken face. Her soft pink lips trembled, releasing a shallow breath that caressed the hollow of my cheek. I tried not to notice, but her fingernails were eliciting quiet a bit of pain from my jaw, sparks and white lights seemed to flash in my eyes as she tightened a little bit more. I tried not to show it, knowing the emotional imbalance Bella was already experiencing would just tip over board, but it seemed my attempts were invalid.

Realization seemed to spark in Bella's eyes, dropping her hand down she released a broken whimper. "Oh Ali, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't hurt you." She whimpered again, the sound becoming more broken from the tears that were falling and warming the cold granite skin on my forearms.

I tried to speak, but my words left me as Bella leaned in desperately, pressing her soft pink lips in a butterfly of kisses along the corner of my jaw where her fingers left half-mooned imprints along my skin. She seemed to be mumbling in words in between each sloppy wet kiss that met my skin. Once again, trying to speak here, but my mind and mouth were completely disconnected at the moment, releasing a low moan that drowned in the sound of Bella's broken whimpers and sloppy trailed kisses.

I felt her whole body tremble as her knees wobbled in a wild attempt to stabilize herself. But she just ended up leaning into me, one hand stroking the corner of my jaw, tenderly running through the short layers of my hair along the nape of my neck. The sloppy kisses turned into nuzzling and then back again, a wild burst of affection tunneling out from Bella onto me.

Sparks and tingles erupted _everywhere_, winding with the dull throb in my center, coiling even tighter with this display of affection. Bella was leaning entirely into me now, my body having to take support from the tree behind me as her knees wobbled against my stretched legs in between hers. I currently was fumbling to reach any kind of thought or word that could possibly tie me down into this situation, because my head was so up in the clouds, the heavens seemed to have passed my mental state of mind, now coasting through cloud nine.

And then it stopped, Bella snapping from her position in a flurry of motions, stiffening as low trembles coursed her body in heavy crashing waves. "Oh my god, Alice, I-I-I'm sorry." Bella blubbered uselessly, tears creating obvious trails down her cheeks and falling down to the ground in soft drops.

What she saw and how I felt were entirely different things. What she saw was a shell-shocked Alice, frozen from head to toe with small cracks from where her fingers had made holes. What I felt on the other hand, was an urgency unknown to man kind to grab Bella's adorably heart shaped face and crash my lips against hers. To taste those salty sweet tears and her rosy lips, kissing away the pain and finally claiming what should have been mine _years _ago.

However, expectations and realities are often mortal enemies and refuse to merge into one, creating another heartbreaking memory to carve itself upon my heart, as Bella whispered another broken apology before dashing away. The last thing I could see was a flickering of an orange, white tipped tail disappearing among the darkness.

XxXx

Trees blurred past me, the misty dew that swirled in the air clung to the short feathers of my hair, crystallizing into a faint frost from the coldness of my skin. The bare heels of my feet struck each branch as I pushed myself from tree to tree, my eyes flickering in a wild circle for signs, _any _sign of Bella.

It's a wonder how fast she is, disappearing in a matter of seconds and shooting out far beyond what was matchable, visually becoming a flicker of movement in a human's eye, not far from the faint blur that quickly vanishes from the vampire's.

She really is beyond all the bounds of immortality that we vampires have witnessed in our lifetimes, all fallen into the hands of Isabella Swan. It makes me wonder what thoughts the original tiger had thought before it bit her, if it saw a possibility of destruction in the heartbroken girl in the ground of the forest, or if it found a safe keeper of a power that should be kept far from the eyes of the greedy and powerful.

With the lurch in my heart, I allowed my thoughts to dwindle away, feeling the familiar sharp pangs pulverize my chest with the thoughts of that sad broken girl on the forest floor. Had Bella been scared? Did she try to run? Did it hurt terribly? Had she cried out for help, wondering if that foolish future seeing vampire could see her?

I groaned lowly. Bounding from another tree, I lunged for the next branch, grazing it sharply with the tips of my fingernails. I _need _to find her, need to find my Bella. I can't stand it, knowing that she's somewhere in this forest, the forest she was left in years ago with that same heartbroken feeling sinking in her heart. Only _I _caused it this time. It wasn't Edward, or an accident from Rosalie, it was me.

Hold up. What was that?

Leaves tickled the back of my neck as I abruptly stopped movement, falling to the ground in a light _thump. _The strong smell of blood whirled around in the air, caressing my senses as it pulled like a rope around my torso, tugging away. I followed it blindly, taking in the slight bitterness of the sweet metallic liquid.

_Ugh, so good. _The blood called slowly to me, the familiar hushed chant singing out to the beast inside, coaxing it from its tangled cage. Split from blood lust and love, I felt the beast pulse numbly in the roots of my teeth and the dry veins along my arms, shivers erupting down my spine in its ebullition.

Silently, I ventured past the trees and bushes, gently uncoiling the thick vine that had caught in my hair I tentatively prowled closer to the whirling scent of blood.

And what I saw made my breath hitch as the dull throbbing in my teeth became a thick palpitate that pulsed on my brain, filing my ears with the empty beats of a dead heart.

There, strewn in impossible angles, was an elk. Or at least, what I assumed to be an elk. Patches of fur was still visible from underneath the heavy cloak of warm crimson blood, dripping down from a wound yawning wide. The skin was ripped and shredded, layers of the tissue fray in the light breeze, pulled right off the muscle and bone. A jutting rib cage glimmered in the dim light, its silver white bone cracked and broken, dipping into the gaping torn stomach. The poor thing's neck was shattered; its dull brown unseeing eyes stare at me from an impossible angle.

It was torn apart, ripped and plucked from the bone where only strewn skin and muscle was found in a bloody bundle next to it. It made my stomach twist as the thirst burned a fiery trail down my throat, my eyes never leaving the broken disjointed elk's form.

I released a shaky breath, my arms moving from instinct as they wrapped around me. The beast inside shivered, my thirst slowly uncoiling from around my throat as the scene settled in. Trees lay in shambles around the strewn animal, large cat prints pressing into the soft soil as blood drips into a neat trail to where the animal now lays dead and eaten.

My fight or flight senses are kicking in, my conscience deciding to skip over the little detail that this is Bella, the person we are _trying _to find, and instead it's busying itself in calculating how fast we can dash out of here without leaving a scent to be followed. This is Bella. This is Bella. _This is Bella_. Calm the_ fuck _down.

It's not like this is uncommon, things do usually get torn up when there is sharp teeth and claws involved. It's just the sight of it all, the blood, the ripped skin and flesh. It's all becoming written scenes that my mind is all replaying into one action filled film in my mind. Bella tearing through the forest, trees breaking under the pressure of sharp claws and teeth. What it sounded like when bones started cracking in the dead silence, followed by the sickeningly sweet sound of skin ripping.

It's all flashing like an old black and white film in my head, sending blaring red warnings down to my beast that roared out a call to run like hell throughout the rest of me. I stood on wobbly knees, winding my arms ever so tighter around me, as if that would stop the tugging and pulling that was occurring inside of me. Two entirely different sides of me were playing a game of tug-a-war, neither side giving an inch, but both head strong and stubborn as ever.

My skin prickled until it felt as soft and bumpy as gooseflesh, sending another trickle of tingles down my spine. I _will _find Bella. It's just question whether or not my body will allow me to move without running for the hills. However, Forks being a relatively flat town, I doubt I would be running towards any bumpy terrain any time soon. Maybe a boulder, we have plenty of those.

Well...here goes nothing. I waited with baited breath, testing each coiled tight muscle in my leg before tentatively moving the tip of my toes across the soft trodden dirt.

...

So, I just have to find her standing still? Okay, no big deal, I was going to work on my half-thought through conspiracy thingy anyway.

_"Bella?"_ I winced, clearing my throat. My fingers lifted in their arm hold to drum against the column of my throat, my lips pursing as a shallow shaky breath streamed through them. "Bella?" _Ugh_...better I suppose.

I froze_. Oh..._

Rolling breaths crashed in billowing waves against the nape of my neck. Each heavy exhale left a sticky warm dew against my skin, heating me through the thin material of my shirt, the thick granite of my skin and to my very core. I felt myself swallow, my eyelashes fluttering as the heat that surged from the large mass behind me enveloped me in a warm blanket.

The tightly woven knots that had assembled in my muscles were kneaded out tenderly with each baited breath, the tug-a-war game ending with one last victorious tug.

Hesitantly, I turned. A wet nose poked my cheek from this movement, causing a light giggle to burst through my lips. My fingertips lifted gently, the soft pads of each finger gingerly stroking the small tufts of fur that sprouted just beyond Bella's smoky black nose. The fur slowly graduated to silky tousles of hazelnut and coral fur, rich dark stripes curving and cutting through each brilliant color. Whiskers twitched with my ever movement, tickling my neck and cheek as Bella's heavy head loomed over me.

Finally, I met her eyes. Brilliant sapphire globes smoldered with the same dark and exciting energy, never lacking in intensity with every connection I have the chance to make with them. They held my gaze shyly, the sweet and reserved Bella shining through dark blue ocean eyes, before dipping to stare blankly at my feet.

Her dark black toppled ears pinned to the back of her head, her curved muzzle crinkling to reveal a sharp row of fangs and molar teeth as a small whimper seemed to blow through them, a shiver wracking her enormous form. I couldn't help it. I cooed lightly at her, leaning forward to nuzzle my head with her ducked head, finally able to really reach her. She was just so cute! I couldn't help it, I have _always _been a cat person.

However, something else caught my eye as I leaned forward. Such as the blood, Bella was _drenched _in, caking her fur, covering her muzzle and befouling her silky fur. My fingertips ran off her silky neck, coming up with dark crusted rust that caked my skin and left Bella with tangled red clumps of fur.

"Oh Bella." The tiger winced, turning its enormous head from me, staring with shame and embarrassment clear in her dark eyes. I sighed, running my fingers down her glorious head, stroking through the wild white tufts of hair that really served as quiet a mane around her head. "Here, let's get you cleaned off."

Without another word, I tangled my fingers in Bella's fur and pulled. Despite my strength being drastically incomparable when faced with Bella's brute power, she still grudgingly trudged behind me as if I really was pulling her along side me.

In reality, she was kind of pulling me. Short two legs against fast four legs, you make the judgments.

But she played along, just like she always did. When suffering through all of the Bella Barbie routines, all she really had to say was that she didn't want to, but after ever single moment she still trudged up to my room and sat in dismal silence in the chair, playing along with my game.

A soft grunt came from the tiger beside me as we gravitated towards the sound of trickling water, the small creek crackling and bubbling happily over the rocks before it all became a deep swell of turning water. Dark cobalt water swirled into small circles, the moss covered rocks being seen clearly from the bottom as slivers of fish darted from rock to rock.

Well then, how to continue.

Glancing at Bella, I stifled a small snort. My little Bella is sitting hunched over with her tail curled tightly over her paws, staring dismally at the water with defeat clear in her eyes. Her ears lay pinned straight back against her skull as her nose crinkled, taking in the water that is probably _much _colder than I am.

I smile, wringing my hands into the thick tufts of fur that Bella generously provides. I tug on Bella, but the tiger only groans, crouching down so that she could lie stubbornly on the grass, her broad tummy grazing the ground. Ears pin to the back of her skull as her fur bristles, rising against her skin from her determination, pulling each orange and white hair up.

Grunting, I put all my weight into my pulling, my vertically challenged body becoming horizontal from my exertion. "_Bellllaaa!_" My voice became a high-pitched whine, spiking her sensitive ears with the ungodly noise. I grin in victory as Bella gives a few inches, her furry chest rising as my fingers, digging into the corner of her jaw, pull her head closer.

But Bella is stubborn, her claws wicking from her paws in an elegant swipe, digging into the soft soil and glaring at me with the usual vigorous determination and intensity Bella always seems to hide behind her reserved and gentle persona.

Alright, I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this, but she leaves me no choice. Sighing, I loosen my hold, letting Bella slam right back to the ground; her paws slipping out from under her as she slumped clumsily into what I assumed what a Bear skin rug would look like. Shaking her head, Bella glanced up at me, confusion swirling in her dark sapphire eyes while an apprehensive wariness seemed to shadow just behind it.

She knew what was coming next. The urban legend of the Alice pout, fully coming to force right now. Jutting my lower lip, I buckled onto my knees, looking up at Bella with a perfected puppy dog pout. Sean could eat his heart out, that pout was _mine. _

I sniffled, and Bella whined, hiding her head from under her large heavy paws. I only scuffled closer, my lower lip trembling slightly as I bore holes into Bella's paws, keeping my large pleading eyes on her the entire time. Bella growled lowly, her ears twitching again as the thin slivers of her whispers jaunted about from her crinkling nose.

It took all about 2.3 seconds before Bella let out a defeated _humph_, slowly rising to her feet, moving to the river with her tail and head low in her vanquishment. Biting my lip, I fist pumped behind her. Take that Sean!

The water rippled as she hesitantly stepped in, the water swirling around her furry forearm as the white fur upon her chest dipped in, letting large beads roll of each thick strand before emerging once more in water. Bella released an irritated grunt, plopping her other paw down deep as her hind quarters still struggled to remain on the warm and dry ground. Giggling, I moved forward, placing both palms on the fur rippled back, her taught muscles twitching and clenching just underneath my hands. Stroking the fur gently, I silently encouraged her to dip in.

With a heavy huff, Bella emerged entirely, her body disappearing into the dark opaque waters, swallowing her whole. With this touch of cold water, blood whirled wildly, becoming a dark ill-looking cloud that stormed about in the depths. Then very suddenly, catching me by surprise, a creamy white muzzle popped out of the surface. I yelped, plopping onto my butt as the snapping jaws struggled reach out farther than just her nose and snout.

The white slivers of whiskers that sprouted from her muzzle twitched, water spiraling down from them like small waterfalls. Her smoky black nose flared, jerking about to find the source of a scent she seemed to be searching for. The jaws snapped and clenched just above the level of water, releasing soft whines that bubbled out.

A small sound left from inside me, coming out almost as choked as the whining and thick pulls of breath coming from the tiger stuck in water. Why did I make her do this? Blood isn't that bad, I could have washed her in the tub for Christ's sake! My poor Bella, she must be freezing.

Scrambling to the riverside, I buckled my knees, plunging my hand into the murky water. Soft touches of moss and mud grazed my open palm as the water lapped around my elbow. I frowned, wiggling my fingers in what appeared to be nothing. It felt neither wet nor cold, wavering on the sensation of plopping your hand into a cloud. But even that may be moist. Trying to ignore the shallow disappointment, slowly removed my hand from the river. I suppose it's just because my skin is naturally cold.

Then I suppose the vigorous reaction is from Bella's skin being hot, and the temperature differences caused a greatly uncomfortable reaction. I sighed, slowly slipping my legs into the water as a hard metal seemed to plunge into my gut, twisting into the constricting innards.

Well she may have to be getting used to this temperature. Especially with Emmett trying to pull her in a hug every day. Same with Esme and probably Rosy too. Jasper and Carlisle are more reserved, but even they seem to become more outgoing when it comes to loving Bella. Edward will be hounding for her, constantly doing things to catch her attention. And I can't even lie to deny that I will be trying to do the same exact thing.

Sighing, I stretched over to trail my fingertips down Bella's smoky black nose. Her jerking searching nose stopped, twitching again before Bella waddled through the water to meet me. The sound of her claws clicked and ticked against the rocks and grains of dirt that waded around her paws.

Finally, she found footing, lifting her large head out of the water, effectively sneezing. Water droplets splattered from her wet fur while her ears flapped noisily against the sides of her head from the exertion. Unfortunately, gravity seems to enjoy pushing things down, and pushed the released water _right _onto me. Oh joy.

Bella sneezed again, wading towards me with her heavy paws stroking through the water. I watched, amused as Bella squinted up at me, her nose brushing against my knee as warm heated breaths rolled across my skin in puffs of air. Her snout brushed against my legs, the water dripping from her furry chin and onto my skin while the hollow of her throat brushed against my knees. Bella plopped her head into my lap, releasing a soft sigh as her eyes screwed tightly together. I giggled, stroking her color meshed fur lovingly.

The smooth pads of my fingertips rubbed and caressed the silky fur, softly rubbing the rust color of blood from her head and neck. Thankfully, the current had done most of the job for me, but it still remained quiet a task, plucking the dried blood particles from her tangled fur without it having each tug hurt Bella_ too_much.

Silence met us again, even the comforting sound of Bella's breathing seemed to thin out. Only this time it seemed rather _un_comfortable, the tension from our last conversation still lingering unacknowledged in the air as we both hesitate to bring it up. So we remained in silence, quietly waiting for someone to speak up as I kneaded Bella's dirt and blood caked fur into its natural creamy white, orange and black meshed colors.

I rolled my eyes. Well, Bella would if she could speak. Great, so it's all on me then.

Bella looked shyly up into my eyes, smacking her chops together softly as the water momentarily swelled, rising to her lower jaw and touching my bare thighs. I look down at my befouled skirt, tarnished with water and remains of blood and dirt. There was nothing to do at this point but just sigh, plucking the material lightly with my fingers in a lame attempt to readjust it.

Okay, really this is becoming tiresome. I blew my breath out, my lips pulling back into a grimace while I looked for anything to stay, grasping at the blank slate for what should have been well-structured sentences in my head. But I'll work with what I got I suppose.

Cue classic clearing of throat. "Bella?" Sapphire eyes lifted to meet me, a tired apprehension whirling behind that gauzy forced film that tries to make her look curious. In seeing this, I couldn't help it. I leaned down, running my fingers down her head to cup her jaw, placing three soft kisses along her nose, and one briefly on the raised bridge inbetween her eyes.

Leaning back, I let the soft pads of my fingertips trace the black sharp stripes that cut through her silky meshed fur "You know I'm not mad at you, right?" Oh, how eloquently put. Bella closed her eyes, releasing a soft huff of breath, her ears pinning to the back of her skull. But I'll be dammed if I didn't see a glimpse of a smile on the corners of her lips.

I paused, momentarily, plucking and picking at a specific clump of blood that had gathered in a rats nest in Bella's fur. Bella growled lowly, the black underside of her lips peeked out from the burst of air released, but let up no other verbal signs of resistance. Tapping the tip of Bella's nose, I continued on. "As a victim to constant blood lust and rather frequent and _random_desires to kill people, I can honestly say that I know what you're going through."

I smiled brightly down at Bella, my lips pulling over the sharp glimmering teeth that would have startled any human being, even frightening some of those scruffy mutts over at the Reservation. But now, as I smiled my feral grin, Bella snorted as if the sight was amusing, nuzzling the side of her furry cheek against my leg with a soft sigh.

Oh the nerve. I huffed, flicking Bella's nose lightly. The tiger shook her head in surprise, blinking rapidly up at me. She was instantly met with a steely glare as my hands fastened at my hips, my lips pursing to indicate how stern I was. It must have gone over well, taking in account the disjointed bursts of air that sounded oddly like laughter.

Huffing, I straightened my dirty blood and dirt caked skirt, brushing it off as if _that _could justify the wrongdoings that have been committed. No, I shall not stand for this. Pouting, I brandished my hands into what could be interpreted as shooing gestures, brushing Bella off my lap with gentle but swift jerks of my hands.

Bella mewed softly, sinking back into the water from my brisk departure, her snout bobbing into the darkness before her head emerged back up from the water. I popped to my feet, brushing off my clothing, mostly for the visual purposes, for what once was expensive silk and velvet has now been reduced to meretricious bloodied sheets. But no matter, Bella will simply be forced to go shopping with me.

But for now, my act must go on. Huffing again, I turned swiftly, with plans of stomping through the forest in determination. However, I was left dangling in mid suspension, the bare sole of my foot grazing the soft meshed toppled ground. I just crossed my arms tightly together, determined to keep my play with irritation clear on my face.

I felt the sharp graze of ivory teeth against my back as her teeth pierced my shirt. A beat momentarily pulsed on my brain, igniting an old flame to burst form the dampened embers and roar in delight across my skin. I huffed softly, crossing my arms tightly across my chest and grating my teeth, though to be honest, I rather forgot why I was angry in the first place.

Bella released a soft sound, bordering on a hushed whimper and a lulling purr, but either way, it wrapped around my mind and soul, keeping me tethered to the sweet animal behind me.

Before, of course, the unthinkable happened. A sharp shriek of terror pierced the air as the trees and damp green grass whooshed around me in a flurry of colors, darkening my sight before I was plunged into the darkness of the water.

It was an odd sensation, sinking back into dark inky waters, feeling neither cold nor wet. Floating into a vast nothingness. It was like that fuzzy bridge inbetween fantasy and reality, unable to grasp either one but stuck on the lingering faze of both. So I sunk, the darkness underneath my eyelids blurring into the vast blackness that surrounded me, the lines of what was mine and what was not became nearly indistinguishable.

All up until softness caressed my bare skin, thick weaved fur that moved freely from the boundless existence under water, gravity seemingly meaningless in this blurry world of darkness. And once my fingers knotted with the thick fur, a jolt of feeling crept underneath my skin, splintering across the lovely bones and repeated in a trembling malevolence of excitement.

I tilted my head, squinting to look past the dusky water that swirled in my eyes and to where Bella may or may not be hidden. Then there it was. Two bright blue eyes blinked and widened, locking onto me in a second. I pawed uselessly to reach them; however, the water remained adamant, merely rippling around me. White streams followed the dark waters, whirling around me like a blanket as I sank in its hold.

I huffed; the release of breath coming out in a rush of bubbles, making a dash to what I assumed would be the surface. But for all I knew, I could be flipped upside down, gravity suddenly having some inspiration to pull things in the opposite direction.

Then my breath came to a stop altogether. Soft velvety fur brushed my legs, the small current of the river swishing the thick fur into a lulling caress across my thighs. A warm body lifted, pressing against me as large heavy paws stroked through the water. The world became upright again, water rushing in sudden ebullition to race me as I broke the surface.

I gasped for air, my hair flopping across the nape of my neck before plastering against my cold dead cheek. Water droplets rolled steadily down my hair and off my body, as if in an urgency to departure from the dead and fall back into its indistinguishable mass.

The water rippled around Bella, rolling in waves against her lean ribs and down her furry back, playing with the orange flickering tail. I panted softly, my head dipped to stare wide-eyed at the broad shoulder blades underneath me, muscle and fur twitching with each stir of motion my fingers made. Each and every one of my digits had wrapped deeply into the fur, the bones from my knuckles pressed against my skin until the white bone became detectable even against the skin's ivory surface.

Bella pounced, striding purposefully against the strong current of water, rushing with an unimaginable force against it. Frisks of water splayed against my wet cheek and frosted against my eyelashes, but I remained frozen, staring blankly at the muscle and fur underneath me, panting heavily in return.

I only dared look up when the light brisk of water stopped spraying my cheeks and neck, leaving my arms in a coat of crystal dust. I released a soft breath, a shiver riveting my body down to my toes and back up with ravishing energy. The only thing that I paid much attention to was the warm heaving breaths falling thickly from Bella's snarled mouth. Each breath lifted me up from the expansion of her ribs, only to drop with every exhale.

I yelped lightly as Bella shook her heavy head, water falling from her fur in sharp blades. I jostled wildly about on her back, a low whine vibrating steadily in my chest as I scrambled to remain sturdy on this wild ride. If only my legs were longer, than I could fasten them tightly around her waist instead of where they are now, hardly touching the first rise of her rib cage. My toes dug into the fur but _that _hardly made any hold for me.

In fact, the only thing that really kept me steady was the death grip my fingers had ensnared in Bella's thick fur mane. And as Bella turned to glance over her shoulder, even that was loosened, my lithe body swaying as I shrieked again.

_"You're such an ass!_" I screeched, ducking down to wrap my arms around her thick neck, my anger becoming muffled in her fur. Bella rasped loudly, her deep cackling roared out into a throaty laugh. I merely mumbled quiet death threats into her fur, digging my fingernails into her neck in a futile attempt to keep stable.

I closed my eyes, fastening a tighter hold around her neck as Bella turned her gigantic head, brushing her smoky black nose against my hair. I hissed lowly, but the sound lisped out weakly as it filtered through the thick coagulated fur against my lips.

Bella returned the sound lightly, mistaking my anger for something far less severe. Like I was _happy _or something. Because instead of letting me off, she rubbed her head against mine lightly before rumbling a low deep-throated purr in her chest. I was _not _happy. The slight quirk of my lips was to snarl, not smile. And the fact that Inuzzled her neck was in anger and revenge, nothing else.

I sighed. "I'm still angry." I mumbled lightly, trying to retain that agitation that had swarmed in my mind before, but instead, it dwindled into a contented sigh. The basking warmth that emanated from Bella's body was wrapping around me in a soothing blanket, loosening the clenched muscles that had tightened in the fright of the water and jerking motions.

Bella snorted lightly, trotting off so that I jostled lightly on her back. I grimaced, hissing scathingly at the smug little tiger, a hiss that remained unheeded. I get no respect, I swear.

Bella huffed happily, the breath coming out in a misty puff of air as she trotted slowly through the forest. I rotated my head, my chin now resting on the base of her skull, smiling despite myself as Bella's ear flickered against my cheek.

And that was when it came back, that electric hum, thrumming between us in a hushed whisper. Rhythmic beats melted together to from a mantra of notes, creating a lullaby that hummed in my mind before falling from inbetween my lips. It guided us through the forest; the song lassoed us like an invisible string, tugging lightly for us to continue.

It left the world around us rather blurry and without significance, moving us to a destination we have yet to come terms with. I suppose the purpose of our destination would come to us once we reached it, but for now, we were stumbling blindly towards it.

It was only when the broad form of a house came to shield our view of the forest when the light bulb flickered in my mind. It removed the thick curtain that had dampened the natural flow of thought from reaching my brain.

Building, house, home. Right, this is where I kind of live and return to. Odd that it took that much time to make a connection with its significance. It would be more of a surprise if I didn't already know of the lack of thought and brain power that lives in me when I'm near Bella. I am rather reduced to a small child, hopeful and bright, with my attention strapped tightly to the large animal with soft fur.

Stroking Bella's head softly, I lifted my head, squinting at my house in thought. We could just walk right through the front door if Edward is still away. The movements inside the house stirred softly, nothing spastic or crazy, so Edward must still be away.

Biting my lip, I gently crawled off Bella's back. Well, more like fall off Bella's back. Either way, I'm on the ground now. Getting up from my sprawled position on the dirt, I dusted off my skirt, glaring at Bella who had managed to strangle her laughter by ducking her muzzle into the ground as her heavy paws encircled her head.

Without another word, I leaned down and tugged on her ear, guiding Bella towards the house a little too roughly. As we neared the house, the darkness inside flickered, a low glow of light streaming through. It buzzed lowly as a murmur of whispers crackled inside.

Stopping by the bay window, I peeked inside. Bella bumped into my shoulder from my abrupt stop, huffing lightly from the unexpected stop. I turned around and hushed her, mostly for my entertainment, before turning back to peep through the window.

Esme sat on the couch, a look of heartbreak filling her expression as her hand lies gently on her chest. Cradled in her lap was a box of tissues, the white paper flickered as Sean pawed at it, crumbling the tissue against his face to wipe the obvious tears streaming down his cheeks.

Well then, this is rather peculiar. Frowning, I angled my head to glance at what they were watching. The television flickered with color, darkly streamed lights flashed with a picture of a girl crying on the screen. Esme choked lightly, wiping away invisible tears as she and Sean leaned in simultaneously.

Bella groaned behind me, watching the scene with a defeated frown. Sean blubbered lightly, wiping tears away again as he kept his gaze fiercely on the screen as the movie_: An Anorexic's Tale: The Brief Life of Catherine _played.

"Finally, someone is bringing change in this family." I shook my head. "It's about time. Your destructive attitude will go on no further! Do you hear me? No more!" I turned, giving Bella a disapproving glare.

Bella stared unamused at me. Silence again.

Bella stared at me for a while before snorting lightly, jerking her head away to trot to the other side of the house. She knows I'm funny. Just look at that, comedy gold here.

I skipped after her, swinging my arms back and forth, as I rounded the corner. Bella was staring up at the window of the second floor, her robust body crouching momentarily before launching forward, her claws digging into the wood before wiggling inbetween the open glass panels. Bella's tail flickered momentarily before curling inward and disappearing into the darkness of what appears to be my room.

Yeah, I'm not even going to attempt that. I have embarrassed myself enough today, thank you very much. Sprinting to the other side, I stopped in front of the front door. Gently turning the knob, I tiptoed inside, making sure to be quiet enough not to disrupt the two sitting on the couch, engrossed into the film.

Hopping up the stairs, I skipped across the hallway and into my room, a feeling of exuberance suddenly sparking into my chest. Hopefully Bella would let me dress her and maybe even play with some of the makeup, or style her hair! Oh gosh, I do hope so.

Giggling happily, I closed the door behind me, eagerly turning to face her.

Breathe left me in a rush, my chest constricting as all air uncoiled from between my lips, leaving like a thick and heavy puff of smoke from a cigarette. Hair bristled against the nape of my neck, standing to alert as my eyes froze on the picture in front of me.

I couldn't pull myself away, couldn't turn my head, as if my muscles weren't mine. My eyes couldn't flicker away as my hand refused to act as some shield to provide me with some dignity. Instead, I stood frozen, blatantly staring at one Isabella Swan.

Because, having shed her fur coat, she stood shy and surprised by my sudden appearance, in bare human skin. I hardly noticed her blush, the blood pooling heavily in her cheeks and down her neck, or the faint greeting she casted out to me in a shy and tentative whisper.

A coil tightened in my abdomen, sending a spark to shoot up drastically before swelling richly at the base of my tummy. Bella's slender creamy arms lay limp by her side, her fingers curling involuntarily from my staring, my golden hued eyes darkening to a melted black charcoal. My breaths came out in short huffs of air, becoming thick and heavy pants as they curled off my tongue.

Her skin gleamed in the darkening day, looking so soft and creamy, as if inviting me to reach over and touch it. Bella's dark curled hair splayed down her bare back, the curve of her spine revealed the defining contour of her hip. Her fingers tapped nervously on her exposed creamy white thigh as her other arm wrapped self-consciously around her torso.

My eyes unabashedly trailed every curve, gazing at the increased pulse point against her slender neck, plump creamy yummy skin that curved below her collarbone. Then a flicker up to her beautiful face. Dark sapphire eyes remained downcast onto the floor as the silence worn on, unable to lift to meet mine. So without her attention and without any supervision, I dipped my eyes to gaze longingly at her plump pink lips.

And maybe it was because I have wanted it for so long, or the fact that she is standing in front of me vulnerable and unmoving, as if waiting for me to make the move. But for whatever reason, I couldn't restrain myself.

A shallow breath left me, signifying the end of my restraint as I launched forward, and crashed those deliciously sweet lips against mine.

**A/N **

**:D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Metal Mouth, this is for you. See? I said it would be soon? Hehe. **

**I could not emphase this enough. This was written purely from exhaustion. Again unbeta'd (sorry) I just know I have so many mistakes in there. **

What is an out of body experience supposed to feel like?

I never really stopped to think about it, because honestly, who would? It's not even a common expression.

But by the very definition, it's a specific moment in time that is staggering enough to pull you out of perspective, and theoretically out of body and soul. Like hovering from your own muscle and skin to purely reflect upon yourself, as if you were a full sized mirror. But what would it feel like?

I never stopped to think about it. Not when Edward bent down and kissed me for the first time – my very first kiss. Or even far before that. Back when romance was simply a term I read about in books, knowing nothing more of its meaning than what was described in printers ink. Or how it would feel to know when you found the one.

The one that you know in the shallow stream of thought, that they are the person you will spend the rest of your life with. The one that makes gravity seem questionable, or make the very bounds of reality become as bendable as an elastic band. Soul mate, true love, one love. All synonyms to the overall meaning: forever.

So how perfectly cliché for me to halt in thought and motion when Alice pressed her lips to mine, and consider what a rarely used aphorism felt like.

Because what can classify an out of body experience? Because I can still feel my fingers, my toes, heart, lungs and any other body part that can still be classified as mine. I don't feel particularly numb, as my pounding heart and quivering fingers could tell you.

But I still feel a right to this claim of a supernatural reaction. Because this all seems very unreal. Had I hit my head upon entering the room? It wouldn't come as a big surprise to me, I've had less graceful endeavors than that. The room had looked oddly dark and even odder since it had started spinning when Alice barged in. And the fact that she kissed me comes to no greater surprise than the often titillating fantasies that filter through my head and closes off reality like thick curtains ending a stage performance.

Unfortunately, before the flashing and head swaying symptoms of this situation could be turned off, common sense suddenly decided to rear its glaring hideous head in to make its rare appearance.

Such as, when I tried to take a single step back – I couldn't move. Maybe it was because Alice's fingernails were digging in my jaw, or that – to reach my lips – Alice had stepped on my toes for that extra height. Or that when I gasped a breath, the scent and taste of citrus orange electrified my senses. It was like being shocked with a hairdryer ducked under water.

The electricity zapped my skin and revolved around my heart. Reverting the tired, beating muscle into a sappy mush. Gold and mesmerizing lights seemed to burn underneath my eyelids as my entire body overcame a shock of electricity. Warmth callously crippled my lungs, bursting with a certain marvelous heat, as it seemed to spread from every domain in my body.

And it was perfect. So amazingly so. It turned to an almost explosive pleasure as Alice sighed, her cool breath fanning across my lips before she leaned in again – almost in a daze – and took my upper lip.

Then it became almost not enough - for either of us – but she was the only one to act on it. Her lips became more frequent, grasping the long tendrils of my hair as she kissed me in an almost rapid fire. It was hungry and desperate, like an animal begging for more than the scraps it was given. Her fingers now pulled rather than played, tugging with a needy desire to be closer. I simply complied.

The only resistance I could manage was a soft gasp as the very edges of her teeth grazed my lower lip. It only pinched me lightly, hardly enough to counter act the massive pleasure radiating through me. But, like every thing I do, it was a mistake. Because that soft-spoken gasp was enough to push Alice off from me and into the far corner.

And I was left in the most undesirable situation. Naked, alone, and without lips on mine. Everything was so wrong with that. But Alice seemed to be in an even worse condition, suffering worse than just frustration and unattained desire.

Alice had her fingers to her lips, her wide eyes locked on me. Her arm constricted around her waist like a coiling snake, tightening with the only desire to keep herself together. And it really appeared that way, that she was trying to keep herself in one piece. If the rapid, abrasive breaths couldn't convince you, maybe the twitching and clenching of her stomach muscles. It really looked like she was_ really _going to fall apart from the inside.

Then suddenly, she dropped her hand, releasing her lips. "I'm so sorry." Her voice sounded raw and thick, almost as if she had inhaled the smoke from a hungry fire. I was momentarily reminded of the false magic tricks kids often tried to pull on me; the ones with the fake bottles or cans, and when you open it, a fake snake jumps out at you. It's almost the same with Alice. When I was expecting an _I love you_. I got an apology.

Before I could even mentally wallow, I found yet another distracting, horrible sight. Alice's eyes no longer seem to be locked on me, and instead, have flickered toward the window in their desperation. She was going to make a dash for it.

And so now, for the first time in my entire human and immortal life, I acted on an impulse. One that hopefully was the right one to take.

My body lurched forward in sudden motion and urgency, that before I could even register what actions I had taken, my lips tingled with cold skin as my palms slid up the smooth wall. My fingernails dug fiercely into the plaster, creating a chilling screech as they scratched deeply into the wall, leaving my elbows fastened on either side of her head.

Whatever had transpired in those few fleeting seconds didn't seem to matter any more, because now, although I  
had missed my target, my lips were trailing smooth granite skin. I can only assume it's her neck, because my eyes are blinded by silky feathery strands of hair. But when I press harder, gently nipping the skin, the fact is confirmed.

Her breaths expelled and fanned against my neck, becoming as disjointed and helpless as her limp arms and legs. I knew what I should be doing. I got her attention; I even got her to stop moving. So now I should take a step back and initiate a conversation.

With words. And not body movements.

But my body has different ideas.

My lower lip slowly drags against her skin. The tip of my tongue tastes the soft, silky skin as it flicks and explores the expanse of her neck. My beast purred, swarming in the rapid pulse that throbbed against my neck and floods my brain.

My cheeks were left aflame, fevered from the thick blood my heart was quickly pumping through me, flooding in several other places as well. Breathing in, the taste of green apples and tropical fruit swirled behind my teeth, layering a thin coat against my tongue. Hmm...

Purring into the skin, I nuzzled into the delicious smell. Just a taste. Small, small taste. Then we can talk about whatever is happening between us. With long swipes of my tongue, I traced the entire length of her neck. The skin quivered underneath each expedition as Alice swiftly turned her chin away, angling her neck for better access. I purred. Good.

So one more wouldn't hurt. Humming into her skin, I gently trailed my lips across shivering skin and the sweet scent of green apples, tenderly nipping and tasting the exposed skin. Until finally my intent was reached. Dipping lower, my knees rocked back into the wall as my lips gave special attention to the prominent collarbone beneath my lips and teeth. Uh. So good. She tastes good. I want more.

_No, we can't have more!_

Wait what? Why not!

_Isabella! Do I have to be the only one thinking here?_

I suppose.

_We haven't even talked yet._

Us? We're talking right now!

A low purr briefly interrupted my active conscious mind, falling back into the foggy bliss as the dull blade of my teeth dragged against sweet skin. One more taste. The sharp curves of my canines lightly poke my lower lip as I licked my lips, dipping down once more to nibble on the exposed skin of her shoulder, soothing it with a swipe of my tongue.

_You're being immature._

Like your not enjoying this.

_That's hardly the point._

Then what is?

_What does this mean to Alice!_

That catches me, stopping my lip ministrations against Alice's jaw. Well, she kissed me. So she is attracted to me, at the very least. And by the inclined neck and her tightly clasped hands digging into my back, I can assume she is okay with this?

_Is that all you want? This?_

My jaw clenches instantly. I growl quietly as it vibrates soundly in my chest. I think one could easily tell that I want more than _just_this. In fact, I want everything. But that doesn't mean I have to stop. I drag my lips across her skin stubbornly.

_Doesn't it? You practically throw her into the wall and start growling like an animal, what is she supposed to think of that?_

Guilt sinks my heart and pushes down my stomach. Embarrassment flushes my cheeks. I feel my skin prickle with the sensation of pins and needles. I did _not _just slam her against the wall. She was about to run away, what other action was I supposed to take?

_Well, growling probably wouldn't have been involved. Neither the whole digging fingernails into the wall thing. Nice job by the way. I'm sure you'll make to be a fine lumberjack._

I feel my cheeks burn. So maybe I was a _little _out of control and in my passion took advantage of the situation. To hold down Alice. Because she was going to leave. My beast grumbles, and for once, we are in agreement. Sensible me is irritating.

But I can't just leave. It's no longer the simple task of removing myself from Alice, its as if my body has melted into hers, sown from skin to skin, it retains us to just one pulsing, beating body. Breathing as one, acting as one, moving as one.

My body is pushed up against hers, her legs outlining the curves of my hips, touching the bare, hot skin. Her fingers have somehow found my back, no longer cursed by their limp, paralyictic ways. Instead, they drag the dull blade of her fingernails down the curve of my spine, leaving what must appear as white and red marks all over my skin.

A whole other part of me is pushing in the opposite direction, growling and snarling in the cages I wrapped us in. It's demanding a claim, a transfer of teeth against skin and the deal is sealed. But that's purely the raging animal in me. I know life isn't quite as simple. However, it's always a tempting suggestion, to delve into the misty animilistic tendencies of our raging beasts. To have no consequences but the way things are. I am, you are, so we must be.

But it can't be that way. Contrary to popular belief in the midst of my own head, I am not an animal. I am Isabella Swan. And although I may never be human again, I think things through, to a point where it's almost painful. Reviewing each consequence and possibility to every degree, I try to keep myself well knowledged in my choices.

I sigh. And yet, with every turn I take, I find myself completley blindsided to the upturning events that bops me on the head. Like Alice. Like the Cullen's abandoning me. Like Port Angelous with those four, sick men. Like every decision that's ever been made in my life.

It makes reviewing each possiblity seem pretty dysfunctional.

So perhaps giving in to the devil's charms isn't so bad after all. Especially when the supposedly "good side" has only left me only with dead ends. And my slight misshap has taken me so much farther than my own will could have dragged me to.

So I let go. The reigns slip from my hands. My sight fades to an almost black pitch, the animal inside clashes against its bone cages, squirming for control and howling for what it needs. A transfer of skin and teeth seals the deal.

_A bite. A seal of skin to teeth. Imprint. A bite. A seal of skin to teeth. Imprint. _

The chanting is almost unnatural, humming in the back of my mind like a swarm of bees. I can feel the sensible part of me pulse with disapproval. I feel Alice move agianst me, our bodies entertwined.

With a last throw of the human side in me, I find myself ripping away are threaded bodies. Not too far. Simply enough to be at arms lengths, my palms still flat against the wall as my head lulls to the side, my eyes no doubt filling with what must appear as a sense of detatched hunger.

I feel myself mumbling, my lips trying to form the correct words before I completley disappear. But my beast has already found a way out, pounding in my bloodstream and venturing further through me. I can only snarl my lips.

But Alice. Alice, being the vampire with no known past and an almost overall surpassing knowledge of her own beasts tendencies, seems to understand. Or prehaps she saw it in her vision, the words I had tried to say, decodying my snarling lips with the correct passage. But either way, she read the unspoken words, and in almost as much as a blur as me, pressed her lips to my neck.

Her lips curled and the smooth touch of her teeth grazed my neck. My pulse thundered against the light touch of her sharp teeth. Although the purely human part of me is screaming in utter confusion, the beast inside understands completley, and takes action. I found myself mirroring her, my teeth grazing the smooth, granite skin.

I don't know who made the first move, but in a flash, teeth hits skin. The raw taste of green apples and venom replenished my system as a sharp pang throbbed against the crook of my neck. My entire body seemed to be hit with a rageful fire, my beast lurching forward, my blood pounding around the sharp teeth sinking into my own flesh.

Electricity zapped my lips and tingled down my tongue. It was as if our two animilistic beasts suddenly melted together in meeting, sniffing eachother curiously. They snapped their teeth, biting in wonderment, entwining together, fighting for dominance. They each battled the thick venom that now laced both our blood streams, eager to find the winning contestor.

I gasped, a sharp pain tingling across my skin as I disconnected, my sense of clarity whipping back in full view. Alice growls against my neck, nudging her nose against my skin as her arms constrict around me. My knees weakened and wobbled, needing support and allowing Alice to firmly support me.

The deal was sealed, dominance was found, and I was nearly a hundred percent sure I lost. If the fact that I broke off the bite first wasn't accountable enough, the almost disgruntled but awe-struck beast in my chest was convincing enough in itself.

I didn't mind, in fact, I didn't care at all. It was just the aftermath I was waiting for in tense silence. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long at all. Alice suddenly kissed my neck, tenderly nuzzling into the skin before looking deeply into my eyes. A shy smile softly curved around the plumpness of her cheeks. A smile I was all too eager to return.

* * *

"Do you even own sweatpants?" I pouted, playing with the laced hem of my newly acquainted spring dress. The one that Alice all but forced onto me.

"Bells. It's called sweatpants." The pixie turns back to me to give me an all-knowing stare. When I raised an eyebrow questioningly, hoping for an elaboration, Alice's jaw dropped incredulously. "Bells! Why would anyone want to own sweatpants? Even the name sounds unappealing! Blame the manufactures for the lack of hideous things in my closet."

By the end of her sentence, Alice's attention was pulled away, her voice drifting off as she turned back to the large wooden structures containing what must be hundreds of shoes. Literally hundreds. And all the very bane of my existence. I sighed.

It's almost humorous how quickly I got wrapped back into this. Our bite marks haven't even completely healed yet and I still somehow got roped into playing Bella Barbie. I can feel my beast's frustrations too. Were in this together, both blissfully screwed for the rest of eternity.

I bite my lip, stifling chuckle. You know, after everything that happened today I would have thought I would have been impervious to surprises. But here I am, rather gob smacked as I took in the sight and size of Alice's closet.

It's like a maze where all the walls all continually change, you know? John Mayor's words never felt so true to me until now. In fact, I should probably just keep an eye on her so I don't loose her. Nibbling on my lip, I pull at the tight strings along my back so that I could possibly breathe.

Huffing, I fumbled with the stitching; only managing to tie them tighter. Really? This dress must be some 18th century corset because each tie is as confusing and complicated as the next.

"Ali? I think this is tied too tight..." I whined. When no one answered, I lift my head, glancing around at my surroundings. "Ali?" My voice broke out in a whisper, a hushed voice that met only silence in return. I sigh. Dammit.

Spastic little pixie. "Alice, where are you?" Fastening my hands at my waist, I lifted my head, tracing the thick beams that criss-crossed above my head. Huh. "Ali, you up there?"

A giggle broke out before disappearing again, as the hurried sound of feet landing against baseboards flooded the air. The very thought of maintaining maturity hardly came to mind. I may have considered it momentarily in mid motion before springing giddily across the floor to chase after the newly delighted pixie. Maybe.

Scarves and clothes swirled around me as I scampered across the floorboards, giggling madly. The sounds of Alice's wild laughter egged me on, sending me clambering up a wall to grasp the thick baseboard. With a swift push, my muscles twitched and with sudden energy, pulled me up onto the beam. The wood scratched against my knees as my arms made wild motions to balance myself.

Whew. Made it. Well, that was somewhat cool. I don't believe I have ever scaled anything that far away in human form. Kind of impressed myself here. Sure, Alice did it in 0.029 seconds, but who's counting.

Now I just have to release the beam. A long groan uncoils from my tight lips as I tried to remember the right nerves that would help me let go. I wish my brain would just go into autopilot, seeing as I am struggling with making my muscles work for me. My stomach muscles are twitching against the cold beam as my legs wrap around the board. Mind you, that is the exact opposite direction I was hoping for. My fingers are at least trying to relax but my muscles just will not comply.

And again, as reassuring as the sound of cracking wood is, I do wish for my fingernails to stop digging into what I am currently lying on. My beast is grumbling inside, probably horribly ashamed by our ever so flawed human form.

"Bells, I didn't know cats were afraid of heights." I huff, screwing my eyes tightly together as low growls rumble from between my lips. "Don't they always land on their feet?" A brush of cool air washes pleasantly over my face, instantly relaxing the muscles underneath the skin. My eyelids flutter. Another breathe cools across my face as I simultaneously breathe in, tasting an enticing aroma of green apples and tropical fruit. Hmm, yummy.

I feel my lips slowly curve into a smile, my growl melting into a soft humming purr. "Hmm, sure. But I'm rather dedication to clumsiness as for right now." Light fingertips roll through my tousled hair, trailing until they touch my ear.

"Dedicated? To Clumsiness? Oh my." I perked a curious eyebrow. "I may have to ask you to disclose that relationship." I chuckled, but halted instantly as fingertips lightly traced the shape of my ear, curving downward before scratching lightly behind it. Oh.

My neck inclined as I leaned into the gentle scratching fingers, getting right there. My purrs are just embarrassing now. I can feel the beam reverberating my deep-throated purrs and absorbing the loud vibrations in my chest. My fingers aren't fairing much better, kneading the crackling wood as I leaned desperately into the hand.

"Oh my, kitty likes her ears scratched." Alice giggles as she gently guides her massaging nimble fingers to stroke my throat before leading up again. I just hum in response, one that eventually melts into another throbbing purr. "You're so cute." Alice whispers softly.

I want to reply, but when I open my lips, a weird sound tumbles out. My tongue feels too heavy as I try to make sense of the blur of words fumbling from between my lips. The last purely distinct thing I hear is the soft sound of tinkling laughter, brushing against my eardrums in a loving caress.

I almost growl as Alice removes her fingers, but I manage to stifle it. Kind of.

Really, the only thing that placates me is the cool breaths that sweep across my cheek, fanning in a delicious swirling motion. In the back of my mind, I register the fact that my arms and legs are now dangling limply on either side of the beam, but I cannot seem to find the motivation to move them.

"Hey Bella?" Alice's soprano voice drifted to my ear, sounding oddly farther away. Wow, hey there. Did she just move away? Why didn't I hear footsteps?  
Still unable to respond, I hummed lowly, hoping that it can compensate for the lack of words. But as I am already down, my ears twitch, trying to direct where the little pixie had gone without actually looking up. Laziness, it is a curse.

"I lied. I actually do have sweatpants." I perk a curious eyebrow as my ears suddenly feel more in tune, picking up her voice from the ground directly below me. "But the only pair I seem to have are in my hands."

Uh oh.

"And I just can't remember who I bought them for." Alice chirped from underneath me. "Oh well, I guess they're useless to keep now aren't they?" The brat. I can almost hear Alice's cute pixie shrug and the quirk of her lips as she wears that innocent evil grin of hers. Trying to lead me away with hopes of getting sweat pants. I can't be that desperate can I?

There is a light giggle before footsteps patter out quickly across the floorboards. The sound of a door clicking closed was soon followed by the soft thump of my body hitting the floor. Oh, and by the way, not all cats land on their feet. For future references.

Pouncing to the door, I barged through the room, my eyes flickering across forms of bulky furniture. Alice was obviously nowhere to be seen, but she did present a rather curious case. The door was closed. Assuming that it is implausible for Alice to close the door and climb back up to hide all before I caught any sight of her means that she is somewhere in this room.  
A child like giddiness took a hold of me as I stalked across the floor. There are so many hiding places in her room. I haven't noticed before. Probably because she has not ever tried hiding a pair of desired sweatpants from her were-cat girlfriend until now. That's correct in thinking, right? I mean by now, I would be her girlfriend right? I suppose it hasn't come up yet.

Flickering my eyes back and forth, I prowled closer to the bed. The sheets looked stretched taught with tension, so it's reasonable to conclude that no bundle could be counted as a body of some sort. So, she's not in the bed.

Just as I turned, a flicker of movement rustled underneath the lumpy comforter, toppled over the side of the bed and onto the floor. Before the action could make any sense in my mind, my arms were already full of comforter and fluff. And Alice. My grin was painful as my lips stretched over teeth in an impossible curve.

Squeals erupted from underneath my capture of bundled blankets. Her body was just one moving bundle of pink colored blankets, squirming wildly as my fingers ran and teased the length of her assumed ribs. The sounds of her hysterical laughter were quite possibly making me insane. I love it.

During this string of events, I had somehow been reverted to a giggling child. Crawling atop the pile of bundled sheets, I crooned down at Alice as she screeched in laughter.

"Who's in here? Who could this possibly be!" My fingers play across her tummy and the length of her sides in a wild flurry of motions. I'm kind of being a brat. Just a little bit. Because while Alice is trying to grit out the answers with laughter literally choking her, I'm finding new tickling spots. "Are you okay Ali? You sound a bit demented!"

Alice writhed, giggling madly as she tried to escape my unrelenting fingers. "Stop!"

"You want me to stop?"

"Yes!" Alice is chortling now, gasping for air as she attempts to turn onto her stomach, anything to keep me from her tummy. Ah, so cute.

"What was that?"

"Bella!

"But I can't hear you!"

Alice's laughter has hitched into complete silence. Sean is probably wincing and whining by now because her voice must have breached what must only be perceptible to dogs. In a choked desperate plea, Alice whined, swatting her helpless hands at my fingers.

Giggling, I loosened my hold. Alice, beneath the baby pink blanket instantly relaxed, the cloth extending around her mouth as she released a haughty huff. I giggled, gently pulling back the pink blanket to smile tenderly at the huffing pixie beneath.

"Well, hello there." Alice narrowed her eyes, her breathing slowly dimming into shallow puffs of air as her eyes smolder into mine. Oh my, I can actually feel the gears in her head turning as she formulates her revenge. Oh well. "So little pixie, I do recall a mentioning of sweatpants?"

Alice narrowed her eyes, glinting in a challenge as she fiddled underneath her partly covered blanket to put something behind her back. I rolled my eyes but I couldn't stifle my smile. The musky scent of fabric dulled the strong swirl of apples and cinnamon that had been assaulting my senses. The moth eaten material beneath Alice was actually starting to sting my nose. Downside of having incredible senses I suppose. Ah, so this is where Alice's irrational fear of sweatpants derives from.

It's understandable I suppose. It _does_have a rather musky scent. But it just feels so familiar. It's funny how a simple pair of pants could give you such a strong sense of nostalgia. It tore a small hole in the thick barrier inside my head, where waves of memories from long ago can start seeping through.

It was like a partially closed faucet, dripping memories from yesteryear. Small droplets of time. Back when things could be described as perfect. Or at least, when it appeared to be; in reality, it was quite the contrary. But still, it was a time when I was happy, no matter how artificial.

I remember how I used to curl up in Alice's bed to snuggle in her large pearly sheets. I always used her bed whenever I came over for our arranged sleepovers, mostly because her scent was the most alluring. But there was a smaller part of me that just wanted to be in her room, to be in company of her, rather than others. It's a wonder how I never figured my attraction to her earlier. But no matter, I got it eventually, no matter how many long, long detours I had to take.

The memories stored away, however painful, are at least the pleasant ones. Like the times Alice mocked my obsession with books, but was ready to disregard everything she had said when the opportunity to read outloud to me presented itself. Actually, it's a wonder how I never figured her feelings. Edward always said I was so observant, but apparently not so much in people and their feelings. Sure, I could catch a supernatural being's secret, but to make sense of someones emoitions, dear god, find another to decode it.

A small clearing of a throat brought me back. Blinking, I looked down at the little pixie underneath me. Alice had an inquiring look in her eyes while her lips instantly pulled into a happy grin, happy to have my attention again.

"Where did you come back from?" Alice smiled, bemused. A tender hand lifted, stroking my cheek. I purred lowly, nuzzling into it while keeping my eyes smoldering into her unblinking eyes.

Slowly, I smiled. "From down the rabbit hole." Aren't I brilliant? My humor is just so clever. Another mental eyeroll.

Alice narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips, unamused. "Ha-ha, because I'm Alice, right? Clever reference Bella, how long did that take you?" I chuckled, dropping down to snuggle into Alice. My arms wrapped around her sides and slid under her waist as my head nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Why does she always smell like crisp green apples and cinnamon? It's an never ending paradox. Alice released a soft sigh, her muscles relaxing as her head bumped playfully against mine.

"Long enough to grab my sweatpants." I whispered. Once again, the brilliance of my comebacks are stunning. But either way, it got the desired affect. Alice pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at me, but I was already springing away, bounding across the room with wild laughter in my wake.

It was only until I reached the bed that I realized; I really didn't grab the sweatpants, did I? But honestly, I think both of us forgot about it, now just more interested in playing along, happy to have this sweet atmosphere envelope us. The dress of my ancient corset/dress was actually quiet entertaining, with every step; it swooshed around my legs like a twirling umbrella. It kept me bounding across the room, until at last I pounced, landing instantly in the warmth and softness of Alice's bed.

Quickly snuggling underneath her bed sheets, I tried to blend into my surroundings. I was already painfully white, so now I just have to be immobile. Done and done.

The sound of Alice jumping onto the mattress squeaked its arrival. The springs coiled underneath and startled us with an unnatural bounce. It probably frightened the pleasant company downstairs, that hopefully were still just Jasper, Esme, and Sean. I don't think Emmett would be so kind to just pretend we weren't bouncing in the bed together.

"Bella. You do realize I can see you." But I am a master of disguise? "You're completely in sight! The blankets seemed to have done nothing for you, because I see your face right now." I pouted. "Plain in sight." A finger poked my cheek, trailing down my nose and flicking the tip.

"That's rich, coming from the girl who hid underneath a thin blanket on the floor." I whispered through the corners of my mouth (still keeping almost completely immobile). I felt a slap on my tummy, breaking me out into a grin.

Peeking through one eye, I caught Alice folding her legs underneath her as she readjusted her skirt, hitching up the fabric and stretching it over pale legs. The material whooshed the delicious scent of fresh apples and cinnamon into my senses, jerking the beast awake suddenly. But it seemed content in just settling back down, watching lazily with a surprising amount of patience.

I watched as well, stretched out like a cat bathing in the sun, watching as Alice seemed content with doing _completely_ unneccessary things. She straightened the covers, fluffed her skirt again, smoothed every crease, picked at invisible lint, and ran her fingers experimentally across the covers; as if expecting to collect invisible dwellers with each racking stroke. I found this exceedingly adorable. Does her cuteness know no bounds? It would seem so.

A thought puckered my mind. Are we girlfriends now? Even though the word hardly captures the possible commitment I feel towards her, I can't exactly call her my wife yet, can I?

Clearing my throat, I started. "Alice, I think we nee-"

"I know." Alice nodded, instantly shuffling to sit cross-legged in front of me, folding her hands in her lap as if to appear businesslike. I blinked, puckering my brow. She grinned cheekily. "I saw you asking me."

Oh. "So you can see me in your visions?" Well that answers that question. Alice gave me a strange look, her eyes flickering up and down my body before questioningly meeting my eyes.

"What gave you the impression that I couldn't?" Alice gave me that, 'Silly Bella, Alice knows everything so don't question it." look and I frowned.

"Well, I just figured since you couldn't see Sean in your visions, that I was cut out as well." Alice waved her hand, as if to whisk my thoughts away and lessen some burden of mine.

"As you know, I can see the outcomes of decisions or choices that a certain person can make, and it poorly creates an idea of the future. But that future, as you know, is never written in stone. Decisions can easily be altered by any amounts of variables." I nodded as Alice lifted her eyes and connected with mine. She smiled sweetly, and continued. "I can't see Sean because what I_ believe_is that since he is a second generation of what we call were-wolves, their type has long started to distinguish the danger of vampires in previous generations; and so when it became the second generation, they had created a sense of immunity to our advances from the miscellaneous gifts we obtained."

I nodded softly, watching with wide, attentive eyes as Alice seemed to grow rappidly more curious, her expression melting into one of inquiring thoughtfullness.

Alice pulled her lips in, her eyes squinting in thought as she slowly proccessed her own mussings. "I don't particularly know why I can see _you_rather than others such as Sean. BUT-" She strained the last word as I opened my mouth to interrupt. "my idea is that you are, perhaps, a little more advanced than both were-wolves and vampires, and because of that, you may have subconsciously felt non-threatened by my premonitions, and thus, did not block me out."

This time I really was confused. My brow crinkled in thought as I worked my lip. Alice smirked down at me, waiting patiently for any questions as she happily threaded my hair into a certain amount of braids and formations. "So, are you saying that, if I wanted to, I could block you out? If I felt threatened?"

Alice's forehead puckered. "Well. I suppose so. However, I'm not sure why you would ever feel threatened by me. I have been told I am rather adorable." Alice grinned cutely, her dimples puckering against the plumpness of her cheeks. "Although, that_ is _my hypothesis so, yes, let's run with that."

I chuckled, grinning happily up at Alice. In a surge of affection, I leaned up and nipped her ear before collapsing back into the tangled bed spread. Alice pulled her lips in, her eyes lowering as a small, bashfull smile seemed to play along the corners of her lips.

She slowly shuffled towards me, crawling with slow moving hands and knees to me. I watched with a raised, pronounced eyebrow and a small smile as an almost shy and tentative girl seemed to peek out of the woman I know so well.

The ruffled feather-like hair that appeared too mussed for fixing glinted in the dim evening light. Have we spent the entire morning and afternoon in Alice's room? Esme and Sean have no doubt figured out what has happened up here, hopefully not jumping too far with their conclusions. Oh god, what about Edward? What would he do if he figured this out? Would he hate me? Would he hate Alice? Would he hate Esme and Sean for knowing and – hopefully – not telling? Or will they tell?

I huffed. Nothing can just be simple, can they? "Bella?" I inwardly groaned. Did I seriously stop watching Alice's adorableness to have an inner panic? Damn it. I blinked and slowly lifted my head, locking my eyes with Alice's.

She looked so nervous. It momentarily stilled my inner musings. I felt my lips curl into an amused smile, my heart following it's own flutteirng rhythm. "Yes Ali?" Alice smiled softly, tucking a stray starnd of hair behind her ear as she shuffled closer again.

"Well, you didn't really ask me like I saw you did. So I guess _I _will ask." Alice drew in a breath, briefly closing her eyes. Then in a soft rush, she expelled her words with her breath. "Are we girlfriends?"

And even though that was the exact wording of my own question, the one I was supposed to ask not moments before, I couldn't help my amused grin. It just sounded _so_ much like highschool. Not _my_ highschool, having that tarnished with hormonal, blood-lusting vampires. But just the general idea of it. The nervousness, the quiet reserved manner. The question in itself. It set my heart in a race and tingles to erupt in my stomach. Because, wow, look at where we are.

I propped myself up, grabbing Alice's hand and tugging her forward. She reluctantly complied. With her hovering just above me and with my head very nearly in her lap, I grinned happily up at her. She mirrored me weakly. "Theoretically, I suppose so. However, with my personal feelings being involved, I can't quite picture a word so weak describing this." I flickered my hand inbetween this to lazily indicate what I meant.

Alice slowly started to smile, her lips stretching into an almost painfully blinding grin. She hunched down, looking almost like a spring, pressed down and ready for the right move to make her spring up. "And what feelings are those exactly?"

I blushed. My eyes momentarily lowered, focusing on the wall behind her before gradually gaining the courage to meet hers again. My heart stumbled over itself as it was lodged in my throat. "Love?"

I was right, she only needed the right thing to be said before she springs up, uncoiling in a bound of energy and happiness, she was already springing away, her words slowly reaching my shocked and paralyzed body. "Oh my god_ finally. _Fantastic, now we can tell everyone! Esme will be so happy and Edward can shove it, and Rose will have to find her wedding dress because I want to see it on you. Just for future refrences of course, for now, and-"

My arms wound around her waist before she even reached the door. She froze, a pout already in place as I slowly lifted her from the ground and carried her back to the bed. When I dropped her on the bed, she spun around, staring up at me with those large, innocent eyes of hers. I had my hands on my hips as I sternly looked down at her.

"What?" Alice smiled innocently, turning her head to give me an almost cheeky grin. Stifling my smile, I simply lifted an eyebrow. That seemed to make some kind of revelation in her. She perked up. "Oh yeah! I love you too." Her lips curled into an embarressed grin. "Opps."

As wonderful as that is, it wasn't really the revelation I was looking for. Well. It was, but I kind of assumed it by the end of her rant with wedding dresses. My cheeks tinged with pink again, my heart finding itself in its almost constant flutter.

I sighed, relaxing from my forced stern position. I feel like I'm going to be severely regretting what I will be asking of my mate next. I fell down to my knees, crawling slowly till I was inbetween Alice's legs with my hands on either side of her hip. Alice smiled her happy little smile as her eyes glinted with a curious and confused gleam.

"Alice." I sighed, tenderly biting my lip as I looked level-eyed with her. Alice raised an eye brow, her eyes slowly turning wary the longer I hesitently extended the silence. "I don't…think we should tell anyone yet." I held my breath, waiting for the explosion.

However, Alice looked incomprehensive. Her stare remained blank as her eyes slowly misted into a glazed off look. I almost feared she didn't hear me and I would have to say the painful sentence again. But then my fear was both relieved and doubled simutaniously. A rather triumphant feet.

Alice suddenly disappeared.

I sighed, glaring down at the vacant bed sheets as my mate appeared a few feet away from me, her arms crossed tightly across her chest as a purely pissed off expression set in stone upon her face. Great.

"I'm sorry Bella, I don't think I quite heard you correctly." Alice hissed, her eyes seething with anger. Her jaw was as ridgid and tight as steel, clenching her muscles into a twitching dissarray. I winced, slowly standing from my knees as I fully faced Alice. A shiver crawled up my spine and throughout the expanse of my skin. I suppose you could also call this an out of body expeirance. I don't think I have seen Alice this angry in a very long time. "Were you _actually_ suggesting that we hide our relationship from ou- my family. If you're ashamed of something you might as well tell me know."

I sighed. "Alice, can you at least let me explain mysel-"

"You know, Esme, and Sean for that matter, has probably already heard everything. They already know about us, so it's really already too late." Alice clenched her jaw and looked away, drumming her slender fingers against her pale, soft skin. "_Sorry,_ I hadn't realized it was something to be ashamed of." She hissed softly.

"Alice, I am by no means ashamed of what has transpired here. I only meant for us to keep our relationship to ourselves, and Esme and Sean, so that when Edward does find out-" Alice suddenly snarled, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Of course. It's about Edward." Alice curled her lips in distaste, stalking over to the other side of the bed. "You know, somehow, that doesn't really make me feel any better." I sighed, the sound almost coming out in a pained whimper. We are hardly even a couple and we are already fighting. I slowly crawl over to Alice's side of the bed.

"_Alice." _I whine, leaning over to eagerly nuzzle her neck. Alice huffs, adamant on grasping the remaining anger that coursed through her veins. "I only meant that I don't want him to find out from any one else but me. I want to be able to tell him myself. It's the very least he deserves, after all, I'm not completley blameless in all of this either."

Alice huffed, her lips pursing into a hard, thin line. But she had slowly relaxed, leaning into my affectionate nuzzlings. I purred happily. Alice huffed. "I hate that you keep blaming yourself." Alice's voice had weakened, thining from the prospect of my self-blame. "Out of everyone Bella, you couldn't possibly be more innocent."

"I don't know about that, I don't think Sean has committed anything too caviler recently." Alice giggled softly, completley leaning into me.

Then she sighed softly. "Edward loosened his family ties with us when he started to untie them himself. It has nothing to do with you."

I shrugged, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down to the soft, comforter beneath us. I snuggled into the form and curves of Alice's body, our touching skin sowing together again, melted and melded together once more. My heart fluttered once more, beating like a frantic hummingbird.

Alice slowly sighed, nudging her head with mine affectionately. Then very quietly, she whispered another reason to have my heart pounding. "I love you."

My heart flipped and trippled again. My head whirled with the simple wonderment that this wasn't a dream. That this was in fact reality. "I love you too."

And again, I had to wonder, what could possibly describe an out of body expeirance? I could still feel my heart, my legs, arms and fingers. My head felt particularly clear and unbeffudled with fog. But I felt a claim to such a supernatural reaction. Because this just couldn't be real.

**It's like…two o clock in the morning. I am barely even seeing. I really need to sleep. So yeah. You know the whole deal. Like, review and stuff. Yaaay. Love you reviewers, all of you. **


	15. Chapter 15

_A.N.: I know, I'm horrible. Also, I would like to address the fact that just because this story is 'T' it will not mean that everything ends up in a fairytale happy ending. Meaning, I won't go all Twilight on you and write the biggest anticlimactic ending in the history of books. I promise that at least. _

My bottom lip twitches of its own accord. The icy air dances over the exposed skin as I shuffle restlessly on my little roost. The tree branch quivers.

I am stupid. Stupid and foolish. I may age into impossible spectrums of life, yet, I will always find new ways to replay old mistakes. It shouldn't be allowed, to be so thoughtless. Honestly! It's a miracle that I am still alive today; with a conscience such as mine, I can't imagine how I've made it this far without seriously ailing myself.

I sigh. The breath leaves me in a whoosh and uncoils from my lips like smoke. That's what I get for staying out in the freezing air, I suppose. Again, my conscience. It must think it's funny to screw around on the job. Where is my Jiminy Cricket? I would enjoy some common sense to spare. It seems so vacant recently.

I take in a long, soothing breath, filling my chest with icy air. It burns, sparking my lungs with pinpricks of pain. But I don't want to let it go yet. I keep it in, closing my eyes as it ticks in my chest like a bomb. I hold it until it feels like it will burst. It escapes me in a rush, without my will to do so. Released, it uncoils in wispier trails. In and out.

My eyes trail my expelled breath, meeting the central point of my sight and crawl down my slender nose. I breathe in again, puffing up like a rooster before expelling it in a messy drawl. It uncoils like cigarette smoke.

Well doesn't that look cool! I enjoy it. I puff my chest with air again, straightening up like the Big Bad Wolf and release it in a rushed spew of breath. It splays outward like exhaust from a car, spiraling out into twirls and long chained patterns. My cheeks burn and tingle as a slow smile tightens upon my lips.

"It's almost funny what people look for in mates these days. I for one try to find someone that is remotely _interesting_. This must be a loss on some people I guess." I huff, rolling my eyes. _Figures. _

"Sean, you're barking up the wrong tree here." I try to sound firm, but it's Sean I'm talking too! That boy always seems to lure out the most childish things in me. "This is my thinking tree, you see? I'm thinking." I tap my cranium as if to prove my point. What point is that, exactly? That I have a brain? Or that I can still tell the difference between my head and toes?

Sean cracks a smile. He shakes his head as the shock of black hair flickers like rustling feathers against his neck and cheeks. His nimble fingers quickly readjust his hair back underneath his neat little wool cap. _Ah_. He has human clothes on, sporting something other than his bare skin. My big bad wolf is all grown up.

"I can see that." Sean chuckles, his lips stretching widely into a grin as he beams up at me. My heart warms a little bit. Who could resist that?

However, it doesn't last as long as I would like it to, because as soon as the silence stretched a little too long, his smile is gone and his eyes turn almost serious. My heart sinks as Sean draws in a long deep breath. I can practically see the words pooling on the tip of his tongue. It sets me on edge. He steps closer.

"Look Bells, I think we need to talk." Sean said carefully. It's weird to hear him speak so seriously, his posture stiffening and arms clasping behind him like a solider at war.

"Don't tell me you're breaking up with me." I joke weakly, trying fruitlessly to divert the seriousness that has been closing in on us like a constricting snake. Sean smiles softly, but his eyes are remain as still as steel.

"You know, everyone would support you Bells." The silence rings. My heart only sinks lower.

"Sean, I really appreciate what you're doing…" I draw in a breath. "but I _really_ don't want to talk about it." Sean's pink frostbitten lips quirk downward. He looks child-like; he is the poster-child for innocence. His black hair rustles like the feathers of a raven before slipping underneath his cap again.

"But…" Sean trails off, cocking his head to the side in an expression of perplexity. "Isn't this what you wanted? You finally got Alice. Are you really going to let _Edward_ ruin this?" His tone slips in his apparent disgust and I don't even bother bristling.

Of course I got everything. _Everything_. I'm just selfish; I want more. I want things to fit together perfectly, as if everything in our lifetime, past, present, and future was planned; like small bricks that slowly melded a bridge. All to bring us here.

But it's not like that. It's scattered and disorganized. Some great designer did not plan our life, it was in our own sloppy hands, and we tossed everything about like eager children. Now that the dust has settled however, not everything fits as it once had. Our careless past has made it impossible to forgive and forget.

Edward is not my mate, Alice is. And, despite my attempts, Edward is _adamant _to reform something that is broken. We don't work like we used to, and he sure isn't willing to slide into another role. He cannot be a friend or a brother; nothing fits as it once had. There is one player too many in the little games we play and we all know who it is.

However, despite our old past, I can't break Edward's heart. At least, not without the help of my beast, who would only take things one-step too far; after all, the beast in me has always been a little too literal for my taste and in those blood-colored glasses, there is only one way to break the heart and that's through the chest.

When I reacquainted with the Cullen's a few weeks ago, I hated Edward. I was like a child who was slapped on the wrist, and because it hurt, threw a tantrum. And now, through the weeks of longing and catering to my own love, I feel a part of me has grown up. A part of me is still resentful. And a part of me understands.

And it is driving Alice _crazy._ Not that I can blame her, but she gets a little scary sometimes. When she can't hold my hand during breakfast, lunch or dinner. Or when she wants to kiss me on the lips, but is diverted to the cheek._ Especially_ if it is because of Edward. Or can't tell anyone that we are in love, even if most already know. Or when Edward opens a door for me, or tries to share an old memory, tries to rekindle the past. She can get frightening.

And I just jingle my jester bells, making a joke of my life again. Fumbling, tumbling, ambling on through. Label me a new species of monster. One without claws or teeth to harm. Just my words and actions. That will do. Yes, that's all I need. Break my mate in two.

A shiver crawls down my spine, but I can't stop my thoughts now, not when they are already tumbling out of control. I let my breath out in another whoosh, watching it unfold lazily.

It's not like I encourage him. Because I don't. I've clearly distinguished a line where he shouldn't pass. But that line becomes flexible when Edward is impenetrable. Whenever I breech a subject he doesn't enjoy he smiles like glass and allows every single word to bounce off him like a quarter bouncing off tight sheets.

And in some ways, I feel like I must deserve this. Why not? After all, everyone hates a termite. They invade and eat away at the wood, softening it until it bends and crumbles at the slightest touch. Sounds familiar, don't you think?

"Well, to be honest Bella, I guess I just don't understand you." Sean frowns, his eyebrows puckering slightly. I can tell he's upset by this. "I mean, after everything, you're hesitating because of your ex-boyfriend?" Sean pauses for a moment, letting the guilt marinate until he perks up in thought. "Oh! Are you nervous about coming out or something? Cause, almost everyone knows. So too late for that, but I mean, I'm sure you can take some king of seminar for that, or something!"

I blink. Oh my god. "No," I shake my head, my throat tightening as I try to dislodge the awkward bulge that has taken root in my esophagus. "No, that's – uh – that's not it. At all." I shake my head, raising my hand to calm the blush that has flushed in my cheeks. "No, I just feel…I just don't think it's the right time to flaunt my relationship right now. Especially with Edward around. I just don't want things to get out of hand."

There was a beat of silence. "Um. Why the fuck not?"

My heart skipped. My head down to stare incredulously at Sean with wide eyes. When did he start to swear? That's it, I really need to start restricting the hours he spends around Emmet. He obviously is proving to be a bad influence. _Fuck?_ Really? My eyes narrow.

Sean seems to have noticed my displeasure and managed enough dignity to look ashamed. A slight tinge coated his tan cheeks as he rubbed his neck awkwardly; coughing into his fist, Sean awkwardly scuffed the snowy ground in embarrassment.

"What I _meant_ to say was: Why not, my dear Isabella?" I scoff, jerking my head away from him. I know it's silly. It is not as if he is _my_ kid. He has just become such a large part of me, is it so wrong to want him to stay young and innocent forever?

My fingers trail the rough bark underneath me, drawing lazy patterns of hearts and swirls. Like a small child, I swing my dangling feet back and forth. Silly, childish heart. I was in the best of intentions, but look at where it took me.

"I can't explain it, Sean." I say wearily. My dangling feet still, the rough bark brush uncomfortably against my soft skin. I wish I could explain my reasoning better, or at least make my points be well known. But instead, I let the conversation run dry.

Sean doesn't say anything. The boy just sighs. He must have been expecting those words exactly, in every shape and form to fall tiredly from my lips. Aren't I just so delectably predictable? My heart bounces, stretches and tightens. It's like it's practicing for the Olympics in my chest: jumping hurtles and racing down tracks.

I watch dismally, in my bubble of misery, as Sean slowly walks toward my tree. Placing his hand on the trunk, he lifts up his head and grins. It's the same grin from the first time I ever met him. _That grin_. The one that looks like it may just combust. It's like his teeth are too big for his face, and his lips aren't really sure how to fit that ridiculous thing on his face. And when it happens, it melts hearts. Yeah, _that grin_.

I sigh hotly, grinding my teeth together in a faux expression of annoyance. But I know it's too late. I have already lost. The wind is already out of my sails and I am deflating.

But for once, he doesn't say anything. He just hikes his leg up and starts to climb. And for that, I am grateful. I silently slide to the side as Sean gracelessly slumps beside me. Our knees brush and silence extends between us. And I couldn't be more relieved.

I expel a breath, watching it slowly uncoil from my lips. It spirals like smoke from my lips and disperses into the wintery air. I like misty breath. Really, I do! It's one of my favorite things. I remember when I was a kid, far before vampires, the divorce, or even thoughts of discontent, when things were picture perfect, I would sit out in the back and release my ghost like breath for the world to see.

Silly, isn't it? That something as simple as breathing was the founding of such a happy memory? I think so. But who am I to complain?

"Oh my god. You are _actually_ entertained by _breathing_." Well then. Nice company I got here. I wish Alice were here instead. She can actually _appreciate _these kinds of things. "Forget boring. You're personality is just _dead_." Ah. Such good talks we have together.

"You know, to some crazy vampires, we find breathing to be quite fascinating." I break out into a happy smile as Sean yelps and tumbles from the tree – whether by accident or a shove, my care and affection for the boy didn't keep me from snorting. I lean back into the cold arms waiting for me and giggle happily. Sean grumbles unhappily in the snow.

I hear a light giggle. It's like the sweet bells on ice cream trucks. Its delicate jingle sends the same kind of giddy excitement as it used to as a kid: racing down the street with coins jingling in my pocket, I always got the Orange Cream on those hot summer days.

Alice snuggled into the curve of my back. A cold nose pokes the back of my neck before slender arms wrap around my shoulders and push me impossibly closer. I hum in content, nuzzling my cold, ruddy cheeks into her granite neck. A rumble starts to protrude from her diminutive body as she purrs happily into my ear.

We are entangled. I wonder what we look like from down below. Perhaps I could holler out to Sean for an eyewitness. Personally, I feel like we are just a bundle of arms and legs, like gnarled roots from an ancient tree that have long forgotten which direction it still grows.

"You guys are disgusting up there." Sean calls out petulantly. His hands are grasping the thick knots of the gnarly tree but fail to get a proper holding. With a huff, he drops his hands and glare up at us stubbornly. "You know, there is no need to push people out of trees. I am rather capable of getting down myself." Ah, so the hand dealt the fall.

My cheeks burn again as my lips twitch into another smile. Alice's voice tinkles like the shy bells of ice cream trucks. "Me? Push you? Now Sean, why would I ever do something like that? What is there to gain!" Alice smiles sweetly, dimples indenting her pale cute cheeks. Along with that smile, a hint of a falsehood rises as well, swirling in her bright golden eyes. Sean catches it too. His eyes narrow.

Click. And the guns are drawn. The trigger is set. And I am left again in the cross fire of their silly duels. I cannot make sense of their competition, it seems like they are always playing their own version of tug-a-war whenever I am present.

Sean lifts a dark eyebrow as Alice keeps their eyes locked. Sometimes I think they are just being playful, like two puppies teasing a bouncy ball. But there are moments – very much like this – that keep me wondering just how good-natured they are pretending to be. Alice's fingers play absently with my hair, twirling it playfully inbetween her fingertips. Lighthearted as it may seem, Alice has a tendency to show her possession of things, with or without her knowledge.

Affectionately, I lean over and nip her shoulder. It has come to be a routine of ours. While others kiss and peck, we nip and bite. Who says we need to be normal?

Alice blinks. It's like the surprise of a dish clashing and before I know it the two break apart and reform their faces. Both are smiling happily in my direction, eyes shimmering and teeth glimmering. I just roll my eyes. With these two, I suppose I will never know.

Sean suddenly yawned, stretching his hands out above his head as he claps a hand lightly over his mouth. "_Whew_, it sure is cold isn't it?" I blink dumbly as Sean checks his bare wrist, as if it were relevant to what he was saying. "Well! Too cold for my taste, so I'll just be on my way. If ya'll need me, I'll be sure to make it hard to find me." I scoff loudly. Sean just winks over his shoulder before ambling away. Stupid dog.

As the smell of pine needles, earth, and Esme's cooking slowly drifts away, Alice sighed lightly against me. "I was starting to think he would _never_ leave."

My cheeks burn as my lips quirk into another smile. "Don't get too hopeful, if Esme isn't already in the house cooking dinner for him, he will surely scout one of us out again for affirmation of his three-meal deal."

Alice groaned half-heartedly, melting away into a set of giggles. "Oh my god; that's right. I shouldn't have based all of my knowledge on humanity from you, Bella. I must concur: I feel rather mislead. Sean's stomach is like _The Never Ending Story _in comparison._"_

"Well, to my defense, I don't believe there are many things left in this world that can be compared to Sean and leave him looking normal." I paused briefly. "A garbage can maybe? But even then…"

"It doesn't improve his image very much, does it?"

"I think it does him wonders, personally."

Alice laughs and my heart bottoms out. I love the variety of her laughter; I can never find a perfect definition. At some times I think it sounds like shy tinkling bells, or the clinking of charm bracelets. But at others: it is surprising and loud, like dropping a plate of glass. Either way, I think it is beautiful.

Alice releases a softer giggle against my shoulder as she repositions her head from an ear to her cheek. With every artificial breath, her mouth brushes slowly against my skin; her teeth make a gentle and bare greeting before her lips make their return. It starts over with every breath, an exciting cycle that may never end; a fragile existence it must live, having been born in the momentous emotion we share right now, it does not know the wild ride emotions can create.

I am consumed in this moment of ours. It's sweet and we survive in it. I love the small moments, because that's what we exist in. It is a feeling so unique compared to the rest, especially recently, especially now. Now with so much tension prickling through our days, moving through us like parasites that refuse to leave. These moments are rare, but as long they exists, we will continue. We can endure.

Alice hums as she leans her head back again. My cheeks burn with the crack of my smile as Alice maneuvers her head to look at me. With our bodies entangled, her position enables her to look at me normally I suppose. That is, at least, what I am assuming. But then again, it's Alice.

Her head is tilted at an odd angle, smiling at me practically upside down as her body snuggles closer. I chuckle softly, bending down to peck her forehead. What a weirdo.

"Taking in account that you're especially bubbly today, I figure your hunting experience was good?" Alice pouted, her eyebrows scrunching up in displeasure. My smile brightened.

"I don't know Bella, are you insinuating that I am ever _not_ bubbly or altogether delightful?" My cheeks are hurting again as my lips carve another smile into my frozen face. Despite the heaviness the snow and ice seems to create, I feel so light. If I were to fall from this branch, I may need a rope to keep me grounded. I may just float away.

"Well…" Alice's eyes narrow. "One the top of my head, remember that time when Emmett accidently marked your shirt with paint?" I nodded, bobbing my head as I smiled. "Yep. That was, as one may say, _terrifying_."

Alice's eyes lifted as if to pull the memory from the sky. I waited patiently, perking up as a slow smile started to spread on Alice's lips.

"…Oh yeah." Alice giggled, ducking her head in embarrassment. "I can't believe you remember that. Isn't there some kind or rule that keeps you from bringing up our past embarrassing affairs?"

"Nope." I pop the 'p' and smile happily as Alice hides her face in her hands, peeking timidly between her fingers. A shy embarrassed smile carves into her plump cheeks. It was adorable. "Do you remember that one time when…" My mind scrabbles for more ammunition, perking up as the memory tilts back into my head. My cheeks hurt again. "Oh my god, that one time when we were going to the store and that elderly woman took the same shirt you had eyes on. My _god_."

Alice slapped my shoulders in faux vexation. "Bella!" She whined adorably. "What was I _supposed_ to do? She was probably buying it to use as material for her next quilting session! It was my _obligation_ to protect it. As a victim of fashion."

I bit my lip. I tried. I swear I did. But it became too much. Laughter bubbled over, spilling from my lips in a messy slur of sounds. Alice's pout deepened as I leaned into her for support, burrowing my laughter into her granite neck. Sometimes, there is no bound to my happiness; she makes my insides simply squirm with it.

My laughter gradually subsides, submerging into sporadic giggles that erupt and die in surprised bursts. But Alice is patient, or pretends to be as she huffs haughtily. I smile against her skin.

"Hmmm, I see." My cheeks are burning again. "I'm sure having your picture taped behind the cashier's cabinet wall is another symptom of by being a victim of fashion." I cock my head in question. "Do they still have it, or…?" I drift off cheekily as Alice pouts. The cold tips of Alice's fingers mark a trail up my arm and curl into my shoulder, pinching me lightly, which, I am sure, was supposed to be my punishment. I grin.

"Stop teasing me." Alice whined softly, nudging my shoulder with her nose. "After all Isabella, _two_ can play this little game." Alice's voice trills like an anxious bird, swelling with glee as she slips into a childlike spell. I am affronted with two slender fingers that wave in front of my face as if I had forgotten the quantity of the number two. Alice tilts her head again, challenging me with those bright playful eyes of hers.

Although my smile brightens, inwardly, I try to subtly swallow my weariness. Alice is a vampire; her memory is _vicious_. I wouldn't stand a chance, her memory ammunition is beyond endless. The gears in my head turn and turn for a solution to drag me out of the inevitable onslaught of embarrassment. With Alice in this game – or any game in general – the rules of a 'fair' fight are all but abandoned.

"_Uh_." I groan out, my lips twitching from its painful form of a smile. I have bait, but will she bite it? I place a gentle hand on my cheeks to balm the burn of the icy weather. "Your uses of clichés are upsetting." I lie. I love clichés. Even the usage of 'two can play this game' can instantly attract my attention. I believe clichés are the very utensils to melt a heart.

Alice just rolls her eyes. "Oh please, you _love_ clichés." I'm so predictable. My cheeks burn again; despite my attempts to restrain it, my lips curl into another agonizing smile. "I'm fairly sure your fixations have leveled to a new religious extreme." I grin. Ah, she did take it! Crisis averted everyone.

I chuckle softly, nuzzling into the soft feathery down of Alice's hair. A soft rumbling purr starts to build from her throat and I bask in the comforting sound of it.

"I hadn't realized taking up a religion was discouraged in this family." Alice purred again, moving her head to nuzzle my cheek. My heart flutters. "I can write up a testament if you would like? To make it official and everything. Perhaps I can convert others?"

I can hear Alice's smile as she leans back into me. "Hmm, sorry, but I don't think you will find much support here; especially from the cardboard cutout 'vampires' in our household." Alice snarked as she wrinkled her nose in distaste. "I, myself, am not much of a fan of the stereotypical."

I smirk, playfully indignant. "Awe, but _Ali_. If it makes any difference, I for one find our society's interpretation of vampirism _completely_ unrealistic." Alice perked an eyebrow, her eyes already narrowed. "Of course! The sun only makes you sparkle now." I giggle as Alice huffed and playfully (painfully) slapped my shoulder. My insides squirm with giddiness again.

"You know Bella, one should be careful when teasing a vampire." Alice drawls out lowly. A proclaimed eyebrow rises in challenge as her golden eyes darken once more. As my smile grows, her eyes narrow, zeroing onto me with a locked-target vision. I hum in simple delight.

Then gasp. Because I was not expecting what happened next. With quick hands, Alice had found a way to alter my leverage – previously the once stable tree – onto what little grasp I had on Alice as I now dangle from a branch. My knees tremble as they hook around the tree, my hair dangling down to the floor as I stare up at the ground. Yes, staring _up_ at the ground, since I am currently _upside down_.

I gasp, the sensation only tightening my lungs. The air somehow feels colder down here. Why does everything become twice as harder upside down? My dangling limp body complains as the strong arms start to loosen from my waist. What is she doing? But before any complaint could be made verbally, my body goes under arrest, compelled by the devilish intentions of a certain pixie.

"Because vampires can be dangerous." Alice purrs against my skin, lifting her eyes momentarily to soak in my helplessness. I make a feeble attempt to protest before giving up entirely. Alice merely smirks. It makes my heart lurch, and then again, because this is the _second_ time she has caught me off-guard with one of her 'surprises'.

I gasp embarrassingly loud as the ticklish drag of a mouth creeps steadily up my skin. It taints the soft skin of my stomach, dragging up my clothes in its hunt. My chest concaves as playful fingers run feverishly up my thighs, tracing letters upon my skin with a hungry loving touch.

The soft lips leave small touches and even fainter tastes. Upside down, I am helpless. I feel like a bug wrapped up in a spider's web, or like a girl being fed torture by her girlfriend's sadistic methods.

My breath catches in my throat. A bomb is ticking in my chest. Tick-tick-tick-_boom_. The warmth of the explosion spreads hungrily, transferring through my bloodstream and across my skin. It follows the famished mouth that marks up and down my skin, continuing its hungry search up my stomach and across my collarbone. My labored breathing is the only sound that fills in the electric silence.

Fingernails drag down my arms before trailing up my stomach again, venturing everywhere with a curious doting touch. A coil is tightening in my gut, utterly impartial to how helpless I am in this situation. My insides squirm, clench and tighten as the flat blade of Alice's tongue lavishes the column of my neck. I can't breath.

My heart flutters like an anxious bird, momentarily gaining the attention of the heinous vampire as she presses her head against my chest. I make a weak attempt to struggle before going limp as I am easily deflected. Alice starts to purr, dangling upside down with me with her ear pressed against my chest. I eagerly take this as a time to fruitlessly catch my breath. But it's sprinting, and I can't catch up.

I think too much blood is going to my head, because it's starting to feel a little bit like cotton, or maybe like a balloon, or perhaps it's just heaven. Maybe. I release another strangled breath, letting it spiral downward (upward?). And I'm lost again.

I almost want to remind her to play nice. Because this certainly breaks all the rules for sportsmanship. Alice bites tenderly, a warning shot before brushing her lips lovingly against my skin. My grasp of breath is released, rushing out from its reins and running loose again.

I limply lift my head. My nose brushes through feather-light hair, tickling my nose with the delicious taste and touch of silk. I instantly smile into the matter of softness, hoping to pull that honeyed smell and taste closer. Alice had different ideas.

A familiar fruity laugh tickles my ear before my heart lurches out of my throat. I feel a whoosh of air fly by my head and colors of green and white flash before my eyes. Momentarily, I grasp the distancing sight of a devilish vampire grinning down at me before I break upon impact.

The ground slams harder than I would have expected it to. Or, if I had expected it at all. My sight goes black and my heart rockets out somewhere in space, leaving me utterly frazzled.

Alice giggles. I groan, feeling my skin patch with bruises before instantly healing. That. Evil. Little. Pixie.

"I hate you." I groan. My eyes are still closed. I refuse to look at her. I'm mad at her. "I'm filing for a divorce." Okay, so I'm not really mad.

A beautiful laugh fills the air. Despite everything, my heart flutters. "Oh Bella, I believe we have to get married first." I can hear the smile in her words; it makes her voice sound so much warmer.

"Fine, then. I'll marry you first." I concede stubbornly, even as I start to smile. But I won't open my eyes. I'll keep that at least. "But then we're getting a divorce."

"Well, at least we have something to look forward to." Alice purrs, her voice becomes louder as her little lithe body drops lightly beside me. I can feel her getting comfortable next to me, her light fingertips gently removing the strands of hair that had whipped across my face.

My heart flutters again, I now have to clench my eyes closed just to keep them from opening. I won't give this up yet, not yet. But it's so tempting. With her light breath fanning against my cheek and the soft touch of her fingertips against my skin, I need to look at her.

So I clench them tighter, stubborn as ever. My hands curl through clusters of snow and frozen dirt, coating my fingers with a thick numbness. It shoots tingles pleasantly up and down my arm, entranced by the additional sensation of freezing fingers tenderly plucking away-misplaced strands of hair.

It must be a mess. Alice must secretly be grinding her teeth to keep her from fixing it. My cheeks burn again as I try to hide my smile. I'll have to see if I can fit more twigs and branches into this snarling mess before she inevitably forces me to take a bath.

Alice releases a frustrated breath as her raking fingers hit a snarl and the urge to open my eyes is overwhelming. I want to see her pout!

"You're pouting." I whisper quietly through my closed lips. Alice huffs again as she silently lifts my head and places it on her lap, raking her nimble fingers through the brown messy locks. I struggle not to smile.

"I do _not_ pout." Alice said with a pout. My heart warms immensely.

"Okay, you're not pouting." I smile tenderly as I reach up blindly to kiss her pouty lips. Alice _harrumphs_ against my skin, but returns the sentiment sweetly. Tingles erupt and emanate from my head to my toes. It feels like I just put an electric wire on my tongue.

It's fruity and delicious. But as my tongue presses against the seal of Alice's lips, our kiss breaks off abruptly. The cold air nips at my newly moistened lips and my heart sinks in disappointment. I can hardly manage a question before Alice's strong hands gently push me back down to rest in her lap again.

My eyes are still closed, and I have forgotten the reason why. Now they are too afraid to lift, anxious of the sight they may perceive. Something is off, and it sets my heart in a race. It makes me want to turn around and curl into Alice's solid diminutive form, but those strong hands keep me down and locked in place.

The gentle hands faintly dust off the snow that has compiled against my skin and shirt before returning their previous task to unsnarl my hair. I chew the inside of my cheek, considering my response.

"Alice?" I respond softly. My eyelids flutter but they do not open, allowing cracks of light to filter through my dark eyelashes. Alice's soft breath brushes softly against my cheek. It sounds resigned. Sad. My stomach churns again.

The silence is stretched far too long and I consider speaking up again, however, the soft digging fingers that rake through my hair reminds me to keep my mouth shut. I allow the painful silence to continue as the frown in my forehead deepens.

Finally, Alice sighs again, her fingers halting in their task. "Bella…" My heart plummets. It's not the light-hearted voice as before, holding nothing but the gloom of her next few words. I have the urge to curl into Alice's stomach and beg her not to continue. This is torture enough. "Promise me it will be soon."

My heart falters and the stone lodged in my throat grows. Slowly, my eyelids flutter open. Alice is peering at me quietly, her dark eyes watching with alert attention as they flicker rapidly across my face. Sadness pools into the dark abyss of her eyes and my breath hitches.

With a barely manageable smile, I try to find the compensation she was looking for. They form on my tongue easily than I would have thought, flowing from my lips by a matter of seconds, "I promise."

_A.N. I know, you all probably hate me for this chapter. And probably for how long it took me to make it! I know, but it gets better, I promise. _

_I've just been so distracted. First, with school and life. But it's also 'cause I'm kind of getting really pulled into my other Bellice story. It's not in the mainstream, but it will be the first story I have that will have smut! I'm looking forward to it._

_Anyway, sorry for the wait. _


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